No Turning Back
I'm not going to go back on something that I've already decided. Sorry but I wont.

Its that important to me.
Its a new step in life and I know I'll be thanking myself later on.

Damnit. I never got a sketch book at meijer. I'll ask my dad to get one tomorrow.

I was talking to kyle about elementary school and how stupid we were. Actually it was more of me talking about how stupid I was lol. We've had some good times. I'm glad I've gotten to know him pretty good because next year I'll finally get to go to school with him again. Hes a great friend and he makes me laugh. Not many people can do that. And not to mention Jesse. Jesse is like the nicest person I've ever met and seriously hes like going to be my best guy friend. Hes the best. He listens pretty good and tries to relate. Not many guys do that at all. So Jesse- You are one awesome sand niger. LOL I'm your cousin from forest hills and no matter what people say i'm not white.

Theresa is my first pick for a lesbian experiance....there i said it theresa...now the secrets out LMSTBSAO! and speaking of the "LMSTBSAO" this summer we're going to have to work on the whole skinny ass thing ok? CALL ME!

My mom seems ok. Shes fine. The doctors said that it could have just been some weird thing that only happens once I still think its weird though. Life goes on. I'll play the worlds smalest record player "my heart cries for you" LMAO
(Katie...Mr. Pettigrove)

I'm out.

I feel special
want me to make your journal pretty?
Email me your username and password and I'll do it.

Peoples journals that I have made pretty:

Zach -www.woohu.com/defmonkey4u
Katie-www.woohu.com/dream
Me- your here right now
Sheely- www.woohu.com/sheels21489

I am aware now how everythings going to be fine again
Apparently shes ok. Shes home. Feeling fine.

Its still scary though.

When I took a shower today I kept replaying what had happened over and over again in my head. I've never seen anything like that...it was almost unhuman...it was ...like just weird. I went to Meijer w/ my dad to get grocerys and I got a carmel frappachino. It was good. It reminded me of Krystal. Hi Krystal.

I cant wait until school is over. I want to see the talent show. Those are always fun. Although we have to share the bleechers with the 7th graders its going to be packed.
Oh well. Thats the least of my worries.

I redid zachs journal. I hope he likes it. I dont think he's seen it yet. Zachs a good friend. I think I should talk to him more. I never got mad at zach when everyone else did...I may have pretended to for other people but I never really did because I knew Zach was a good person. Keep it Cool Zach.



you almost always pick the best times
to drop the worst lines
you almost made me cry again this time
another false alarm
red flashing lights
well this time I'm not going to watch myself die
I think I made it a game to play your game
and let myself cry
I buried myself alive on the inside
so I could shut you out
and let you go away for a long time

I guess it's ok I puked the day away
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way
and if you want me back
you're gonna have to ask
nicer than that

I think the chain broke away
and I felt it the day that I had my own time
I took advantage of myself and felt fine
but it was worth the night
I caught an early flight and I made it home

with my foot on your neck
I finally have you
right where I want you

none
The doctors are sending her home.

They never found out whats wrong
She still has more tests to take.

You dont just pass out and go into a seizure and not have anything wrong with you. It pisses me off. They cant just send her home without knowing whats going to happen.

"If it happens again, come back to the hospital" Well Duh.

God I hate doctors.

none
if anyone tries to give me any shit i'll kick their ass seriously. I am NOT in the mood.

Slaped
She said she felt dizzy.

I didnt take it that seriously.

I stood beside her.

She sat down.

Her eyes rolled up in the back of her head

Her hands went in a weird position

She went into a seizure.

I've never been so scared in my life.

Thats the scariest thing I've ever seen since my sister falling down the stairs and breaking her ankle.

Terrible things just keep happening.

I spent the whole day in the hospital...in the ER. They took many tests but still dont know whats wrong with her.

This person...this person who I always felt so angry with...this person i dispysed....

Lifes too short....

I'll never hate her again. Ever.

none

Today...
New journal layout. I like this one. Its cute.

I also like the title.

Today was ok. I woke up around 9 ish because i wanted to watch dr.phil then i watched soaps until 2 ish and took a nap.

My mom was on the computer from 8:30 am to 7:27 pm. Almost 8 hours straight. What a weirdo.

Things still are the same. Nothing really big is going on. I'd have to say that I feel actually kindof relieved.

Thats good.

Tomorrow my sister might take me shopping then I have to go grocery shopping with my mom because i want to get ingreds for our pineapple pizza that dannie and I have to cook in cooking for our demonstration.

Jesse asked me if i would make out with a girl for a million dollars and I said yes.

Its a Million dollars...I do anything just about for that.

I never want to see a slice of cheesecake again in my whole entire life. I've had like 5 slices in the past 8 days. I'm sick to my stomach.

Peace.

"Emotions are like layers of paint. they stick to your soul once applied. You can always paint a new shade on but if you chip one layer, all the previous layers are once again exposed."

Different people hold differnet qualities. I think i might be able to trust those who offer trust , and if they dont they are therefore not trustworthy. People have their faults. They may be a close friend, but they may withold the worst quality imaginable...

"to trust is to have words just flow out of your mouth in confidence that they will not repeat ones words."
I've never felt that way in my whole entire life.

"This room that i sit in, this space with four walls has nothing on me."

Feel the walls. They are smooth but have some dents and some bumps. No wall is alike but the all will have bumps dents marksstains and watever else they compose of.

Tears were made to drip down your cheeks while caressing them for comfort. As they slowly make their way down in a certain path. They are warm. Warm with pain, emptiness, and sorrows. Fell the tears, but they will dry and come back when needed.

dissapointed.
I lost complete trust in the one who I thought I could trust the most.

I guess it doesnt matter anymore..

I cant trust anyone...

I had trust issues to begin with but I mean seriously...my worst fear..To confied in someone and have them totally flap their mouth..

Thats sad.

This poem is for you..where ever you are
Dedicated to an old friend. You know who you are. We’ve gone our separate ways through the past few years. You’ve found your path..I’ve found mine. I hope they meet some day.

Transparent

The pain that buries itself
Inside open wounds
The pain that never reveals
Or reveals to soon
The way the strings against your fingers
Makes you feel alive
The way you’ll play your guitar
Until the day you die

Chorus: These eyes
These stolen eyes
Are nothing but transparent
I can see right through you

Your eyes
Your lonely eyes
Are nothing but transparent
They can see right through you

Convincing yourself
To make it through
Another day
You try so hard
But the pain never escapes
No one listens
And no one knows
The emptiness inside of you
That still remains unknown

(Chorus)

You thought the day would never come
When the pain would ease
But you were caught in a haze
Full of empty dreams
Looking back into the darkness
You can only see yourself
Full of others like you
Transparent and full of doubt

Nothing but transparent

I can see right through you

-------------------
if anyone wants to see my klaes poem book ask or leave a comment. thanks.

Today
Today was ok considering.


Dont write notes about me hun, Its not going to get you anywhere.

Its over
I finally ended it. I feel relieved but nervous. I dont like fighting but I had to. This wont defeat me..it never was going to. Its over. Thats all there is to it.

none
Dad not loosing job. False alarm.


He only has to work 4 days a week starting June 1st. He still will get same pay


All that crying for nothing....


oh. well.


Cedar Point rocked. I'm going to hang out with Danny and her friends more often. They are nice. I had a great time. Jesse was funny and I got some good pics. Will add later


Must pee.

Night

Quiz

You should be an Aries, Outgoing, Extravert,
Energetic, Dynamic, Courageous, Generous,
Strong, Extravagant but sometimes can be
arrogant, insecure, jealous, concerned with
looks and others' opinion


~*What is your TRUE Zodica sign?*~
brought to you by Quizilla


so freakishly true.