well i havent updated in this forever. but i will fill u in on some things.
school is okay, better every day i guess, but its just school.
i went to ambers yesterday, we went to the mall and met up with derrick it was great.
i miss all my bentworth friends.. it just isnt the same but i guess i will make it through i wouldnt say im depressed but it sucks.. i dont hate ringgold, (i do hate school in general though) but i miss everyone, gosh this sucks.
i try to make the best of things..

Lies will come back to hunt you
Bulletproof your limosine
Lies will come back to haunt you
Hit and run, a broken dream

day number too.
today was my second day! it was okay i suppose i wasnt so left out at lunch today, i sat with my friend jon so it was cool, people seem to be talking to me more. and im like so happy! but tomorrow is another day blah!!!! but i could never forget or let anything take place of my old friends, ever!

TODAYS DERRICKS BIRTHDAY! i wish i could see him. but i no hes having fun! i just hope i get to talk to him b4 i go to bed. hehe so special D! LoL

well nothing new has happened.. i mean same shit different day!! i start school monday and i have orientation today at 10am. YAY wtf.. gay gay gay.. oh i met someone newwwwww hes really cool <3.

:) yup

eww
i found out ringgold starts school NEXT MONDAY. wtf $#@%#@%@#$@ thats bullshit. =\. and i love it when fat muthafuckin ppl IM ME AND WANT TO 'CAM' WITH ME.. no fuck that EWW SICKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS. ugh


i dont know what to write about im just pissed bout school & GROSSED OUT about some slimeball IMING ME.


perves; get the fuck outttttt

lastnite we had a scary thunderstorm *shakes* i liked it though..

kinda peaceful except the fucking power went out. *GO FIGURE* ugh.
kelly came and picked me up so we went to the mall; she got an outfit for school.. its really cute. school starts on the 29th.. which is alo my ex-bfs birthday, OH YAY! grr.. a new school and all kinda sucks.. i wont be used to it.. this school im going to is big, im used to lookin out the windows and seeing cows and tractors and people smokeing.. now all ill see is a highway and a big ass FIELD for track and football.. ugh. i guess its kinda cool in a way cause i will meet new people. BUT YET ITS SCARY! hmmmm. my Ma' is picking me up today when shes done with work! =] i think kelly is comin over later as well. so hopefully our power is back on. *yikes*


so buh byes my loves.

ugh
well my past few days have been sweet and then again kinda hectic.. the alcohol has been in my system like hardcore, ive been chillin with my cuzs and shit.. much fun, also i went to alainas for 2 days or some shit after i left my cousins, i had fun.. we got drunk on aug. 19 2005.. and i came home tipsy my mom was laughing at me.. ya i no being drunk isnt much to brag about but its all i basically do anymore.. the other day i went to the WASHINGTON COUNTY fair.. YYEEEHAWWW! it was funnnnn, it was dom, jen, curt, gump, durbin, puckey, and yasek.. i dunno i kinda feel like im missing someone but oh well *SORRY* buttttt i saw SMOKEY the first time in forever really.. he looks ruff. no doubt on crack and shit <-- well it looks like it anyways.. HE JUST STARED AT ME.. i was like WTF? lol.. i guess one of my bestfriends (lai) is datin my ex (bruce) hmm i feel all weird.. but its cool she asked if i was mad.. and imnot mad really.. really im not.. i want everyone to be happy.. i wish NO bad on ANYONE. but i have been having a few bad days.. i dont really wanna talk about it cause its like wtf?.. ya im sure u no what i mean.. UGH FUCK IT.



I'm still here but you don't trust at all
And I'll be waiting
Love and sex and loneliness
Take what's yours and leave the rest
So I'll survive
God it's good to be alive
I'm torn in pieces
I'm blind and waiting for you
My heart is reeling
I'm blind and waiting for you

Still in love with all your sins
Where you stop and I begin
And I'll be waiting
Living like a house on fire
What you fear is your desire
It's hard to deal
I still love the way you feel
Now this angry little girl
Drowning in this petty world
Oh who you run to
Swallow all your bitter pills
That's what makes you beautiful

ba de dum ba ba deee dummm
can you remember chestnut street
and algae ripping at our feet?
i was just a little girl
and you were my whole world.

what i'd give to be lying in your arms,
what i'd give to be your girl again:

did you know that you were my first love?
did you know it's you i still dream of?
i've grown up a lot since then
my nostalgic heart will never mend.

what i'd give to be lying in your arms,
what i'd give to be your girl again:
(what i'd give to be your girl again)




Today, i am going to my aunts house, so yeah ill EDIT this later and fill everyone in on whats up, hahaha. this shall be funnnnnnn



oh yeah and that song is dedicated to someone.. someone who used to be my bestfriend.. ihateyou god do i.

OoOoolalala
Friday i stayed at alainas with her, aud, and mike. Pl came along cause
we were all drinking and shit.. (fun).. hmmm so yeah basically we got
shitfaced at like 5pm. haha nice right? fucking alkie :p. and then
later on mike and lai took off to do God who knows what, so me and audrey
went and looked for my cousin roland, and our friend russ. :) so we all 4 just
basically chilled *cough* yeah i had a great time.=D


Saturday i stayed at rolands house and russ came over, hehe. we
all 3 went to a party like get together type thing in Ellsworth mad people
were there.. like people we always or used to chilled with.. so it was nice
so yeah beer and other alcohol was there.. :P.. and me and rol werent supposed to drink
baaaaaah hahahahaaha, ;). but we did anyways, it isnt like any1 would care anyways
you know? hmmm no u dont, lol. so me, roland, russ, Dom and Jen came home tipsy. =D
basically passed out sortly hehe. *muah*


Sunday stayed at my cousin roland and dominick's again.. when i woke up russ went home
=\... and me and roland just fucked around on the 50 again, fucking kickass. i got so broke
but i jumped mad jumps, lol. we didnt do much.. so theres nothing to say


Monday just fucked around on the 50 again, and i decided to come home for a
day or 2.. then im back to either b-ville or scenery hill.. i fucking
hate staying home, and russ will be gone til friday.. so yeah nothing really
to do. so i guess we will just wade the days out, blah. school starts for me in 14 days..
its kinda CRAZY, see if i were to still g 2 bentworth which is what i WISH I COULD FUCKING DO
it would be so much easier and id have more summer time.. but no my life sucks
so nothing goes the way i want it too. hmmm <-- i wish my mom would let me stay
at my aunts house, but i no she wont, cause everything just has to be so goddamn complicated
.. fuck it dude.. i just hate stayin homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. but yeah i HAD A GREAT weekend.
WHOOP WHOOP





... you never know *wink*

boooooom
yesterday i stayed with alaina, it was cool.. we just hung out and what not with mike and shit.. then me and lai went to panatis to get a stromboli MMMM so good.. so it was nice to chill with her, then later that nite me and her went up kempers to chill with him & tim.. so that was neat-o =). me and tim didnt really talk much, but its ok.. =\

tomorrow im going back to bentleyville to chill with everyone, my cousins supposed to come home from his VACATION SKATING OPPERATION, hahaha. so we may chill with him and his friends for a bit..then who knows.. i think mikes pickin me up also. WOOWEE.


||Do you wake up and wonder where you’re really going
Retry aging in life you wanted to achieve your goals
Now confusion it lingers
Making me feel sick to my stomach
Because who knows what will happen next
I shattered into pieces in this world
I shattered into pieces in this world

this world your world my world
Confusion it lingers a fear of loathing that I regret
Because who knows what will happen next
I shattered into pieces in this world

this world your world my world
I shattered into pieces in this world

this world your world my world
What do you want in life
Who you have planned for the future I wonder does anything matter
Gives luck on the same old day out and sorrow hold on
To your gold or you’ll have nothing ||

Had fun like a --- muthafuckaaa
Well well what can i say about my interesting day or 2 that iv have had.. hmm:: well yesterday i slept til about 2:40 in the afternoon.. boy ol' boy was i tired! and i get a text message from Tim.. he starts out telling me hes sick and and what not so i respond saying 'aww' lmao.. ya me and him havent talked really.. and then outta the blue he texted me, it was weird.. but i liked it alot!. :):) so he tells me he will come and pick me up; so we chill for awhile and he took me to alainas. so yes i can most certainly say i enjoyed myself. woot woot.. then later on that nite we meet up with kelly to go smoke then chilled at richardson park, that was funnn. then later, later on we have a run in with mike andsmoked some more (geez talk about a pot head) wooweee.THE LATER, MUCH LATER--- me, mike, and alaina go down by my friend brights house and we see roland and all them outside, so I run up to roland and start gabbin (roland=cousin) and mike decided to leave cause hes a douche bag, hahaha JK MIKE! u no i love you.. no but forreal he dipped and rol told me and lai to stay and we got drunk and high as hell. we didnt go to bed til bout 5am i believe.. a pretty late i know. i was kinda passin out outside side by the half pipe and shit.. whoaaaaa. we had fun though, it was nice to drink and shit with lai, and actually spend more time with my cousin and some of my friends, catch up and shit u no, rols like my brother anyways haha. :). i saw MILTON FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE A FUCKING YEAR! woooooooo. this kid is so great!!! so that made it even better haha. also me and lai got shane to do his "beavis&butthead" dance. fucking kickass dude.. so yeah


i love my summer.
i just dont want it to
end..


=\


...unfortunately jordan hasnt called me yet..

i knew this would happen. :(:(