If the radio died, would you sing to me?
well this wont be such an interesting journal like they usaully are :p. yesterdayi went with my cousins for a bit had fun. then later on that nite i went out with a friend for awhile it was cool. i havent hung out with that person in forever so it was good to see there face. also lastnite before i did anything my friend mike called high as a kite i think not quite sure.. he told my mom he'd beat lmao thats not hard to figure out, haha. its 11:45am and im eating a big bowl of Cookies 'n' Cream Ice Cream, mmmm. too early though for me. but so yummy!!! ugh, i need to like get out of this house.. i mean ya ive been going places but i wanna go "out'" with someone. like the movies/mall/dinner, or just chill. im tired of doing the same things such as driving around.. smoking... hmmm something new! lol. i dont no im just weird and i want something to bitch about like always.. cant go through the day without a bitch fest i swear. so ill just sing to you..



Ps. later today i went to visit my cousins, i had an ok time. i wanted to see kelly today.. i miss her, me and her got real close. heh i hope we can chill tomorrow. so i dont no?

The fire department couldnt drown the city
They didnt even try 2 wash it clean
And what did uthink that I was sober?
Put me out cause Im on fuckin fire
A positive scab that's never healing
Regret that I kept this clean
The most that I can do for u is keep on lying
Its not a lie if u can let it sing

Let it bleed Take the red 4 what its worth woah
Watch the fire Fill your lungs with smoke for the last time
If you feel like dying you might wanna sing!





pss. JUST BECAUSE I GO OUT WITH SOMEONE TO CHILL OR WHAT NOT DOESNT MAKE IT A BF GF THING <--just letting everyone know that for if they see an entry.. so yes i am single. and i am looking. hmm

and also WHEN I SAY I LOVE THIS PERSON (EXAMPLE BRUCE) WHOSE A FRIEND OF MINE DOESNT MEAN I LIKE LOVE HIM FOR BF GF MATERIAL TYPE DEAL..HES IN IRAQ PEOPLE AND OF COURSE I LOVE HIM AND MISS HIM HE WAS LIKE MY BROTHER

XOX OXO
OXOXOXOXOX
XOXOXOXO
OXOXO
XOX You're naked inside your fear
You can't take back all those years
The shots in the dark from empty guns
Are never heard by anyone
Never heard by anyone
XOX OXO
OXOXOXOXOX
XOXOXOXO
OXOXO
XOX


well today is just an ordinary day, im hopeing my mom goes through with what we talked about lastnite. like i know i talked shit onmy ex and he is no good really.. but theres something about him thats pulling me back, like i know i met other people and its nice to be single, but i was with that kid for a year in 1/2, could have been 2 in 1/2 years but we broke up before as well. im not sure what it is.. i do miss him and him talking to be doesnt help me at all of trying to get away from him. sometimes i think i need to be with him. last night i cried for 3 hours straight... my mom was in shock she didnt no what to do besides look at me. ugh, she couldnt comforted me alittle bit, all she said was 'well tomorrow u can go and do whatever' pisshh, what i wanna do she wont let me, she hastes Danny. God. and i dont no why shes keepin this grudge, she wont even let me be friends with him what the fuck? i dont understand her.. shes so fucking dumb sometimes, i no she wants to protect me and kep me from the mistakes she had made.. but i can do it on my own. =[

i dont need anyones help.
i can do it on my own.....
LET ME LEARN FROM MY OWN MISTAKES

today was interesting excluding the fact that earlier today i believe i already posted a fucking entry, lol. dont mind it i was rather annoying. but today is a sappy day, i hated it. i talked to my mom about my ex and such.. she didnt freakout like i thought--but i sure did and i hate it when i upset my mother because she gets sick. ugh i regret saying so many harsh things to her today. so i guess what me and my mom talked about is going to have to be waited on and see what goes. im not sure what i want to do; kinda confusing. also im tired. there isnt shit to do, so i might as well sleep it off. so sickening isnt it? i know. but im telling you this for ur own good. nothing ever happens to me. so i just play it by ear. :)


I'm trapped again in endless rain
I divorce the thoughts of you I love with me,
I divorce your innocence and my guilt,
I divorce the lying sellout confidence,
I'm divorcing every mother fuckin' thing
I divorce the love bled meaningless,
I divorce the makeshift harmony,
I divorce the taunting acts of violence,
I divorce the pastime of jealousy,
I divorce control,
I divorce the faith,
I divorce the virtue,
I divorce the rain,
I divorce the excuse,
I divorce the greed,
I divorce the need,
I divorce iniquity in this mother fuckin' bullshit life,
Just want it all to go away,
Just want to run away to die, take it, myself, my life
Text book fucking mental, off me and pitch me in a hole

I'll always be your shadow,
And veil your eyes from states of ain soph aur,
I can't be the hero anymore

whoa whoa whoaaaaaaaaa
IM SO FUCKING HYPER; AND I DONT NO WHAT TO SAY SO HEY! LETS GO SMOKE SOME HAY... dont mind if i do. woo woo wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lmfao ill edit this later on in the day. but its 6:14am and i didnt sleep yet. wooweee


---And now we're grown up orphans
That never knew their names
We don't belong to no one
That's a shame
But if you could hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name

And I won't tell em your name

Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are---

hmmm
i just woke up its 10:41am. i wish i would have slept late, but im feelings sickly today. nothing special has been happening of course its only me nothing ever happens to me. and i wish it would, heh; im a loser:) im staying at kellys, i have been for like ever haha, but its cool me and here always have fun. lastnite i was surprised that i saw my cousin roland. i never really get to see him anymore, we all took a blunt ride right quick. it was nice to spend some time with him.. me and him are like -- well.. were LIKE brother&sister. it was kelly, roland, curt, puckey and me. we had fun. but it wasnt long thogh, just enough to get skee'd.lmfao. so yeah total greatness.the kid that i was interested in well i dont no about it. its hard to explain i mean i was so into him and then i get pushed away, sometimes that hurts, you know? -sigh-. also lastnite i saw alaina and mike, whoa, long time no see for real, they didnt talk much really, but thats ok.. i liked seeing their faces again. today i think me and kelly are going to look at cars with her dad, then pizza hut cause she gets to have a free pizza, woot woot. porbably after that getting skee'd again lmao. thats all we do really, i mean we live in a boring ass town so what more do u want from us? hahaha i mean im not bragging or anything im just saying hmmmm.

Bullshit. all bullshit
i think mabey i should just give it time. i mean i just got out of a hard relationship with a guy for a year. so i think i need a break for a bit anyways, who knows mabey something will happen, i mean if its ment to be it will succeed. i hope so. oh yeah i talked to my ex like 5 mins ago. and he was tryin to hard to get on my nerves and win me back, no fuck that. i cant deal with all this stress im serious, hes the type who will assume shit u no.. "oh yeah i bet ur bf is there now and hes older and has a job' um no correction i dont HAVE A BOYFRIEND. 'let me meet him *laughs*' hhahahahaa fuck that dude. im not dumb hed try to pull some dumb shit!!!. see hes just stupid; i dont no how to explain this shit, so to kill him off i told him bullshit lies.. obviously it worked cause he told me' ull regret this rochelle' pish i dont think so. im so happy! lol but who knows hes so crazy x3 he might try to kill me hahaha fuckhead. i cant take it im forreal.


--its like everytime i meet some1 my ex trys to fuck it up, i dont no how to back him off. im forreal im going to end up dying from so much stress; one day ill just croak. ugh people make me so sick its bad enough im rambling on about BS and im pmsing. eww i no sorry.

I LOVE IT WHEN MY EX THREATENS TO KILL ME. god, just do it already; stupid fuck












i wonder if kelly gets tired of me, i dont think she does cause if she did, shed shipped me off to fucking YuKon. LOL i love her.





HEAD SHOULDERS KNEES AND TOES KNEES AND TOES lmao im on jet dude. im so hyper its called jet.

welp, ill never have good news towards my life. im always going to get put down. whenever i think i met someone, someone special it always fails. -sigh- im cursed i swear.. :(


i thought.... yea thats right i fucking thought. ugh!

well today nothing happened, and it feels like nothing will ever happen, UGH. im having a bad day fucking people sicken me. anyways i am so sore from yesterday and for some odd reason i woke up with bruises all over my body; it looks like i got the shit kicked outta me. hmm i dont know. i dont think im doing anything today anyways beside watch tv and listen to music. ((he still hasnt called)) and i figured he would so thats what i am waiting for. :( for some reason its like if i dont hear from him.. i feel like shit!!!!! its not supposed to be like that haha im supposed to be happy 24/7.. pish! :-p yeah so fuck it..

ps. bruce pissed me off today basically, he said some things to tick my clock and im livid. and i no hes over in iraq and i do wish the best for him, but right now, i hate the thought of him UGH!

fucking retard
i'm staying at my friend kellys house today, ive been here so much.. but i enjoy it because i love her to death!! im for real<3. lastnite we went for a ride with one of our friends. then today i went with kelly to work, well i woke up at 12:00pm and went down to see her, she ended up working til 7:00pm. even though i dont work there i helped them out alittle bit stockin some shelfs. i thought i could be nice lol.. then i get a distrubing phone call from my mom saying my asshole ex boyfriend is causing trouble and tried to jump my buddy mike, OMFG im so pissed off fuck that lowlife loser i hate him, just because i dont want him back he thinks he can do stupid shit to MY FRIENDS! uh no i dont think so.. starting shit=not cool at all. hes crazy and i mean litterly he isnt stable at all every1 knows that.. i try to stay away from he, he was never good to me.. so why should i bother with him. i hope he rots in hell for everything. hes so stupid ugh. im so sick to my stomach, always bullshit lol. everywhere i turn i swear. eww. anyways ya me and kelly always have funNn. and im hoping i could be even more happier soon ;) *wink* so yeah.

all these bitches talk shit<3
I LOVE IT WHEN my friends talk shit.. and say they feel bad for me.. *ahem* yeah i no who u r... and ur such a bitch!!!! i did everything for you. But no fuck that! ugh. im so disgusted with you. but thats ok, i wont let it bother me. i have other friends who don't use me.

today is my first entry in awhile; i used to have woohu back in the day before you had to pay for it. but now i'm back. heh. i was drawingxblackxlines so yeah. nothing has been to good around here, its always shitty for me. my friend<3 bruce left for Iraq :sigh: i miss him more than ever. and i'm having boy troubles? blah its normal but what can i say.. my mom is coming around she isnt so bitchy anymore and my real dad is a cum guzzler whom i hate more than anything..ive been cheated so many times; im fed up!!!, but my last few days have been alright i was at my friend kellys and my other friend jena came over sometimes i feel like they dont really like me; like i get on there nerves.. ever felt like that? well i do all the time i can't help it. i saw the fireworks the other day it was okay. also i came into occurence with my ex dan i got so sick to my stomach it was unbareable he's trying to by me back but i'm sorry it isnt going to happen you cant BUY me back.. and i don't want a guy who says he loves me but cheated on me 5 times; i was with him for a year in a 1/2. ugh. enough said i had a rough few months.



much love,
Rochelle