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What it took to build me, wasn't enough to kill me.

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 12 December :: 6.01pm
:: Mood: gittery
:: Music: atreyu- demonolgy & heartache

12.12.05
Love kills, romance is dead
And I don't even trust myself
But I love you
And you can pull my wings apart
And pin me down under glass
Until the end of days if it can help you
Discover that we share the same pain
I just hope you write your thesis
Before your subject is dead
No life after death



only 2 more weeks til x-mas woo. and that means i get to see my baby!! wooooo. i wish it was soooner though!!!!!!

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 11 December :: 5.56pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Tom Petty - Into the great wide open

rebel without a clue
Spiders in my hair and guns on my mind
Thinking about the people who've been so unkind
If looks could kill them
I might make myself blind


if i could do lastnite over again
i would do it all the time, baby!

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 11 December :: 12.46am

GREAT DAY
today was the bestest day ever

i went to the mall to see jason and we got along and hit it off well (i knew we would) but things are going great, we just talked and hung out. took some pictures with his digital, so it was real cute!<3. im just glad things are working out for me; finally. his mom said im cute (haha) so she will pick me up on weekends 'n' shit SO EXCITED! mwahaha. this kid is the bestest. MUAH. so ya good day for both of us. towards the end he asked me to be his girl :) so ya im all giddy and giggly. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME EARLIER i was so nervous though i was like calling jena sayin what if he thinks im ugly? LMAO i dunno i was being insercure but things are gggrreeaatt.

tomorrow i dont think im doing anything, i would like to see jena butttttt i dunnno so mabey she will calllll meeeee wooo woooo wooooo!!!!

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X-Cosmic-Sunday-X

:: 2005 10 December :: 6.41pm

smashed up my sanity
smashed up my integrity
smashed up what i believed in
smashed up what's left of me
smashed up my everything
smashed up all that was true
gonna smash myself to pieces
i don't know what else to do


Horrible fucking day.

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 8 December :: 3.23pm

my face hurts.
I GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A BADMITTEN BIRDIE or however the fuck you spell it. haha it sucked so bad i was so flippin mad. ugh anyways!!!

im extremely tired, i havent been able to sleep STILL.
im poor no money; and x-mas is not to far away. ahh!
and i suck at life :):):).

the xmas dance is saturday and im NOT going everyone is like 'awww i cant wait til the dance' & blah blah blah, and they're like 'are you going hun?' fuck no im not going, im poor and no date and why would i want to anyways i dont even know if ill go to prom lol seriously.


::its so cold out my joints are hurting real bad.. i swear its the old age kicking in, LMAO

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 7 December :: 2.58pm

Remember when we said we'd never part
No purple tears and break each other's heart
Now I'm the fool for trusting this far
'Cause now you are my favorite scar

So tick tock 'bout time for the pain come in
When you said we'd all be friends in the end
I hope you'll find what you need
'Cause I won't be those things in your magazine.



ONLY LIKE 3 DAYS LEFT TIL SATURDAY!! oh boy oh boy!! hehe:):):)

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TheEdgeofYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 6 December :: 11.30pm
:: Mood: aombie mode

12.6.05
welp how bout today was my moms birthday and we didnt get along so i went to school crying, like all day; i slept in late cause i dont have an alarm and she just freaked saying ' you want the easy way out of like ' so i was like uhh ok? mom.. cool u no sure i want the easy way out of life cause i slept in a extra 20mins. not my fault wtf? retarded we usually have a few time periods were we have our arguements and retardness just i felt like a jackoff for being a bitch to her since it was her birthday!!! but i called her from school and was like 'im sorry' and shes like its ok i forgive THEN I COME HOME AND it happens again. oh so sweet aye? blah anyways im tired i havent slept right in 3 days i feel like a zombie.. i just want a good nites rest so ima try. nite alllll!

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 5 December :: 3.05pm

today sucked as always i always think about things that happened in the past. i try to show no remorse but i always fail.


i'm excited for this weekend though, i'm so happy. kelly is supposed to be taking me to c3 mall i'm giving her gas money. but the plan was she was going to take me after work on friday up there but thats not til like 7 and by the time she gets me it will be like 8ish and then the mall closes at like 9. and i really want to sit down and talk to him and spend time with him... so i asked her if saturday she could take me before work so i have all day with him and pick me up after work, but she has to see if shes doing anything ..cause shes off sunday.. but i hope that plan goes well because i really wanna see him.. i mean i'll give gas money like mad. :( ill just be real sad if i cant.. cause if things go well on sat. then hes coming down for xmas break to stay with me for a few days and i would oh so love that very much!!!

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theedgeofyouratmosphere

:: 2005 4 December :: 3.23pm
:: Mood: could choke a bitch
:: Music: linkin park - in the end

I had to fall to lose it all.
i woke up at 12:40pm to a guys soft voice saying 'hello baby, what are u doing' and i replied 'nothing who is this....-pause- JASON?' and then the voice goes 'WHO THE FUCK IS JASON!' lmfao. it was only ben hahahaha i felt dumb but yeah we talked for a few mins. and then i said so ben when we gonna hang out? and hes like 'whenever you put out we will hang out' I GOT SO PISSED i hung up on him, so ya hes tried to call saying 'im kidding and sorry' so i just went CLICK! hahaha. anyways ya hes still my friend but pisses me off. ugh. and i got into a verbal fight with this girl who is obessed with the guy im talking to, of course i showed her whose boss but still little girls and them thinking there to cool for there britches.. fuck that i would so rock her face. she doesnt need to fuck this up, ill be damned if she trys to..but im not worried about anything cause were going great. right baby? :). & hes the best things ever and i adore him so much...


anyways i cant wait til nextweekend im so excited i couldnt be happier!!! :):) oxox.

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 3 December :: 3.29pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: mudvayne - determined

i saw the heavens skies in your eyes
You're super special to me babyxoxox




blah today i had to clean.. like the whole flippin' house; so now i'm tired. LOL. hopefully i do something tonite but who knows cause i'm extremely tired my mother got me up at like 8am i didnt go to bed til like 3am. i need lots of rest haha. i got a new headboard it's really pretty but it makes so much noise i freakin layed on it and moved my arm and its like 'bang'.. i could only imagine how much noise it will make at some points in time ;);).

i can't wait til next weekend, i'm so excited!!!!:)

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 2 December :: 3.05pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Endo - penicillin

burr
today sucked big time.. it was freezing outside for one and snowing so we didnt have a 2-hr delay which pissed me off.. ugh anyways i have a stalker and it isnt cool. he follows me everywhere and talks to me all the time im like go away? but it never works.. so i just let it slip by..im so happy its the weekend i dont no what im doing most likely nothing just sittin on my arse. hmmm.

but...the only good thing thats happening is i met a wonderous guy.
i'm falling in love i swear

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 1 December :: 5.31pm
:: Mood: gloomy

i'm an addict
i can't help it i'm so insecure.


i never ment to question you.. i'm so sorry i was curious but i guess i was alittle bit to probing and envious and i'm so so sorry.


i always do this.. i always do this to myself..

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 29 November :: 8.44pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: box car racer - i feel so

11.29.05
A kiss without commitment's
Like a flower without the rain
It only leads to pain
And it fills my heart with emptiness
Your touch without commitment's
Like a calm before the storm
The tears are starting to form in my eyes

When I kissed you I was curious
The child that I was
I never realized I would love you so
And in the magic of the moment
I was swept to the side
And I saw your heart
So small and tender..




today was gay. i hated today :) i went to the doctors cause my sister is sick and i had one too for reasons because people are assholes.. but ya anyways.. i was supposed to have an appt. for my permit also for driving but noooo not today its bullshit.. its like i will be 493094 years old before i can fucking drive i mean my liscense are already suspended for like 5months when i get them cause i was a moron last year and didnt like to come to school and always skipped. blah!!!!!

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 28 November :: 5.29pm

whoaaa
well nothing exciting ever happens. so i just post lyrics cause i like to sing. [lol]



Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I'm exposed
And it's no big surprise
Don't you think I know
Exactly where I stand
This world is forcing me
To hold your hand
'Cause I'm just a girl, little 'ol me
Don't let me out of your sight
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don't let me have any rights

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theedgeofyouratmosphere

:: 2005 28 November :: 2.09am
:: Music: Adam Sandler - i'll grow old with you

you be love & i'll be liar
That wonderful Someone
Who makes the stars all shine
Who fashioned the mountains
To reach to the sky
Who brings each tomorrow
Who hears every prayer
In sunshine or sorrow
If you call He'll be there
That wonderful Someone
Who makes the flowers grow
Who paints every sunset
With colors that glow
Look all around you
And these wonders you'll see
Designed by that Someone
For you and for me


*sigh*

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