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2010 20 April :: 12.19 am
:: Music: Time after Time - Cindy Lauper
Haven't posted here in a while.
College is way easier than I ever anticipated. Teachers are way better and lenient, and going to class doesn't seem like such a drag. It's funny, but it's not college that scares me most at this point, it's what comes after. I have to find a job here in the next couple weeks. I have to find a car. I have to start paying insurance and phone bills and balancing my bank account and actually... take care of myself. Up to this point I haven't had to. And while I'm scared to take that big step out of teenage fun and angst and into maturity and adulthood, I know I'm ready, because it's expected out of me not just by my parents and family, but of myself too. In the movie "Coach Carter" one of the characters says that their deepest fear isn't that they are inadequate, but that they are powerful beyond measure. Well, that isn't the case for me. My deepest fear is that I'll be inadequate. I somehow just have to find the motivation to say to myself "Hey man. Let's do this thing, and let's do it right." And then I have to find the strength to listen. Well, until the future presents itself, I'll just have to see.
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2009 4 July :: 2.57 am
"Head butt a bullet bitch"
Agreed.
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2009 25 April :: 12.13 am
Friends it is. I know this now. Silly boy I am.
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2009 10 March :: 11.03 pm
I may or may not have done one the best or worst things in my life. I got in too deep...
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2009 27 February :: 5.05 pm
Poem
I've lost a love so pure and deep
It'd make the strongest of us weep
And cry out in the chilly air
That mournful sound of dark despair
For no one could have seen that fate
No one could see or speculate
Her eyes, the brown, the dark lost soul
That took away mine and left a hole
An emptiness I call my own
With every passing second grows
I saw her hand as it waved goodbye
I felt the words as I started to cry
No longer was I needed there
Problems she alone could bear
A woman grown, one outgrown me
No more here do I need be
A candle, I had shone the way
She made a torch the other day
Which she now makes brighter by herself
So here I am, on a shelf
Watching with each day gone past
For now I know that she will last
I've lost a love so pure and deep
It'd make the strongest of us weep
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2009 18 February :: 12.44 am
Man.. I've been on the poetic streak of my life. I tried posting all my facebook statuses in poem form, and I'm proud of them :D So here they are for ya'll.
"I am the power that you feel when you start up the machine, the man you wish to have when you fall asleep and dream."
"I am the strength you summon when you wake. The calm that will sooth you at the end when you break."
"I love your marvelous eyes that twinkle so bright, like a crystal that shines and sparkles in light."
"I am like a lighthouse, always guiding; ever bringing you home. Always glowing out to find you, keeping you safe wherever you roam."
"I am a fountain overflowing, water glimmering like gold. Happiness constantly growing, watching as my life unfolds."
"I was a lifeboat lost in the grim blue sea, but I never would've guessed it'd be your ship that rescued me."
"I won't run or hide away, won't pretend there's nothing there. Won't give up hope on you today, but I will forever care."
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2009 23 January :: 12.56 am
I'm putting this up for Justy, because she no longer has facebook.
The Movie Quote Game
1. Pick 20 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them in a note for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDB search functions. That's cheating and it ruins the fun.
1. You said we're a team. One person struggles, we all struggle. One person triumphs, we all triumph.
2. I don't speak "bear".
3. Well, I'm glad to hear that. Listen, I've been fatally poisoned, there's probably a psychopath heading over there to torture and kill you as we speak, but don't bother getting out of bed, I'll be there in a flash... Maybe you could fry me up a waffle or something, kay?
4. Oh, it's not the speed really so much, I just wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning.
5. Had my dream again where I'm making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I'd nailed the compulsories, so this is it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the dismount.
6. We don't have a pea under our mattress. You know what we have? A fucking watermelon!
7. Guy gets on the subway and dies. Think anybody'll notice?
8. You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!
9. Look - you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat; now, that's a fact. I'll fuckin' kill you.
10. If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya.
11. First of all, I'd like to thank whichever one of you donut-munching, barrel-assed, pud-pulling sissies leaked this to the press. That's just what we need now: some sensational story in the papers making these boys out to be superheroes, triumphing over evil. Let me squash the rumors now. These two are not heroes. They're just two ordinary men who were put in an extraordinary situation and they just happened to come out on top. Yes, nothing from our far-reaching computer system has turned up diddly on these two. All we know is what we found out from the neighbors, and the general consensus is, they're angels. But angels don't kill. And we got two bodies in the morgue that look like they've been "serial-crushed by some huge friggin' guy".
12. You work for 30 years because you think that what you do makes a difference, you think it matters to people, but then you wake up one morning and find out, well no, you've made a little error there, you're expendable. I should be laughing.
13. Death ends a life, not a relationship.
14. Always remember your promise to me. Never let nobody or nothing turn you into no cripple.
15. Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.
16. The worst thing that happened to you, that can happen to any fighter: you got civilized.
17. Let me tell you something, Mark. You humans, most of you, subscribe to this policy of an eye for an eye, a life for a life, which is known throughout the universe for its... stupidity.
18. I've always liked you Byron, but you never know when to shut up. Even bad men love their mommas.
19. There are things in that book, doc, that are reaching out to grab me by the throat.
20. I have you now!
I'll be most surprised if any of you get some of these, for I watch a weird arrangement of movies. G'luck.
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2008 22 August :: 11.41 pm
Thank God for friends... quite in the literal sense. There's been one of my friends that I've been praying for lately... and I hope it helps. But it's been my friends as a whole that make me who I am... I love them so much. They complete me in such a way that I am absolutely scared of where I'd be without them.They brought me to God... they help me when I'm down and out... and they give me someone that I can call to when I need help. Thank you... all of you... who are my friends. I love you.
Later Days,
Trent
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2008 20 July :: 11.24 pm
So... Kaylin and I broke up. I'm so glad how it happened too... She dumped me. Now we can still be good friends... no weirdness between us. And I got out of it looking good... but that's not what's most important to me. The fact that she has a good head on her shoulder's and I didn't drag her down... that makes me happiest of all. Good for her.
Later Days,
TT
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2008 16 July :: 8.20 pm
Sigh... I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna break up with Kaylin... I just need a time when we can talk... which is funny... because the thing that Kaylin and I don't have is communication... and I never see her. I don't want her to think that this is her fault... which it kind of is... because I still really want to be friends... I just don't think of her as my girlfriend anymore. I guess it's hard to explain. Things have just seemed to have fallen apart. But I really just want to do it fast instead of thinking about it all the time like this. Sigh... welcome to the real world Trent.
Later Days,
TT
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2008 5 June :: 9.23 pm
:: Music: Dane Cook - Breaking and Entering
I can't... stop ... laughing... omg... heh... why didn't I use comedy to fix my problems before? It definitely is the cure.
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2008 28 May :: 7.49 pm
Mmmm... nothing is better than sitting on the back porch swing on a sunny day, playing guitar as you watch the trees swaying, glistening in the sun. Such a delight is the life of a musician :)
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2008 16 May :: 7.53 pm
:: Music: To Make you feel my love - Garth Brooks
I have realized how many people are more incite full than I give them credit for. I have some absolutely amazing friends. I really do. Most of them have great hearts, and their head is in the right place. They love and and care for each other, and it is really hard to see them actually put one another down (Damn it Jake!) *Cough* But yeah. It's them, it's my friends, that really keep me going through life. I am so happy, I am finding God again, realizing his purposeful world and why I'm here, why everyone's here. You know, I am looking out my window, and I see the most absolute beautiful thing. There is a bird with a red breast and head, grey wings. It is sitting on some sort of perch we have in our yard. But it's not the colors that make it beautiful, it's the life in it. It's the force that flows through it, through us. We all connect in this unified way, regardless of whether or not we would like to admit it. Our best of friends and worst of enemies make us who we are, and what we will become. They make us flow. The "Circle of Life" to quote the Lion King. Every living thing is beautiful in some way. Just once, look outside at a sunlit tree. Look at all of it's branches, the curves of the bark, the light reflecting off of the leaves. Watch the air. Yes... watch the air. Look all around. Feel it's presence. You are not alone on this earth, and there are no UFOs coming. There has always been other things on tis earth, and I think one of the biggest problems with the world today is that no one realizes that anymore.
I think you are all beautiful, and I hope you a happy life. Carpe Diem.
Later Days,
Trent
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2008 12 May :: 8.43 pm
Ruh Roh... forgot to get something for my girlfriend for her birthday... which is tomorrow... damn. Is it wrong that I'll give her her gift the next day? I feel horrible for doing this, but it's going to have to be. Gosh... I'm such a horrible boyfriend... oh well... just add it on to all the other dumb things I do, and it blends in nicely. That's right. I've got a smoothie of dumb and it tastes good, I tell you what.
Later Days
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2008 6 May :: 3.16 pm
:: Music: Age - Jim Croce
I got new magic cards last night.
I'm listening to one of my favorites.
And I have the best friends in the world.
You could say life is good.
It's sunny outside.
My Girlfriend is coming back in less than a week.
I'm reading up on star wars (Wookiepedia FTW!!)
And you know something? I've stopped worrying about the future. What does it matter? Sure, I'll worry about a job, college, so on so forth, but there is no ifs anymore. You know what I'm talking about. The "But what if...?". It just doesn't matter. If you don't enjoy what's happening to you now, how can you enjoy the future? Because right now is actually the future, and now, and now. Just chill, relax, and enjoy the ride. Oh yeah, Life is good.
Later Days,
Trent
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