tuwang
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2012 8 January :: 11.56pm
Things are good. I spent my birthday with the girl and a few select others... pretty much just the girl though. We did a lot of dancing with each other, both metaphorically and literally. We drank champagne. We kissed at midnight. It was nice. It was also oddly adult which kind of freaks me out.
the only thing I need is a new job. Really... that's it. I like where I live and my new room mates and everything. Just the job...
I'm really coming to grips with myself and I like it.
1 wishful thinker |
worst intentions
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spud
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2012 5 January :: 12.26am
The lions lost by two fumbles and a touchdown.
And today I got a voicemail from a cemetary.
Coincidence?
I think not.
worst intentions
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tuwang
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2012 2 January :: 11.45am
2012 bucket list:
[] get a new job
[] quit outback
[] get a real phone
[] get a new car
[] have more than 5000 in an untouchable account, preferably one with high returns
[] break that 6 month relationship mark that seems to constantly elude me
[] don't stab anyone
[] work out more
[] Go back to MI to visit
[] Get a credit card
[] Go to a wizards, capitals, and nationals game (not redskins, the suck and it's impossible to get tickets)
2 wishful thinkers |
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tuwang
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2011 30 December :: 4.06pm
guess who got the phone interview?
1 wishful thinker |
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joslyn_julia
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2011 21 December :: 9.02pm
i don't really understand how people can be so malicious.
worst intentions
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tuwang
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2011 21 December :: 3.10pm
I feel like I'm getting better at managing my self diagnosed bi-polar disorder. Mostly the last week has been a test of this.
I'm all moved into the new place, which is a huge weight off of my shoulders. My room mates are awesome.
next step is to go and sign up at a recruiter. Not totally sure which one or who to go to though.
worst intentions
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spud
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2011 18 December :: 3.16am
Gig was good. Facebook crew disappointed me as usual. But it was reeeeeeeeeally good. Despite the rocky start.
2 wishful thinkers |
worst intentions
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jordanmackenzie7
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2011 16 December :: 9.19pm
Isn't it rather amazing how one bad day ruins the several good days leading up to it? I find it fascinating that one person, who treated me well for the better part of two weeks, can completely ruin the memories of the good days in one foul swoop.
Does this ever happen to you? Or am I that negative where I only focus on the bad?
2 wishful thinkers |
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spud
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2011 15 December :: 3.16pm
i need to stop watching cheesy romantic comedies. but i can't. because it's christmastime, and they're on every freaking channel. and they're adorable.
i'm not really even sure i want that. but i certainly enjoy watching others' conceptualizations of it. it's a nice idle fancy.
2 wishful thinkers |
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phil-himself
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2011 14 December :: 10.09pm
I know who I am, you're the dude who don't know what dude he is
worst intentions
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jordanmackenzie7
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2011 13 December :: 8.58am
I love waking up in the morning to the smell of baby shit...
Ya know, a lot has changed for me over the course of the last year and half or so. Not that that isn't the case at any given point in our lives, but even more so in the past year and a half for me. I finally became a person I like looking in the mirror at. And that's saying something, considering the majority of the time when I look in the mirror I see baggy eyes, unplucked eyebrows, and pasty skin. When I look down at my naked body all I see is my toes protruding from behind a too-big tummy ravaged by scars... Scars from carrying the most beautiful baby boy I've ever seen, scars from a surgery necessary so an i.u.d. didn't kill me, pudge from making my son a good home while he grew inside of me. When I look at these "less than beautiful" attributes about myself I am not ashamed. I'll poke some fun and myself for not working off the baby weight and move on with my day. Because my days are now filled with a totally different kind of fun. This is the closest to being a carefree kid I've been since I was a carefree kid. By no means am I careless or carefree, but I feel a sense of innocence surround me that I haven't known before in my life. Haevin does that for me. He makes every difficult time worth it's weight in gold, and then some! Am I a perfect mother and wife? Hell no. But I try, and I am pretty happy with who I am. Even better is that I don't really care who I am to anyone who doesn't matter. If they don't like me, tough shit. The people who are closest know what I stand for, and so do the strangers. If they don't like it... they can take a hike!
Onto my main point. I love the little things in life. I love waking up in the morning to the smell of baby shit. It means that my son is healthy. Yeah, it stinks. But it's a life-affirming sort of stench, lol. I get sick of reading about people who are so focused on "getting there." Life is a journey. It's appreciating everything, the good and the bad. It's not a race to the finish line. If you ever make it to that finish line you better plan on croaking the following day, because that's about it son. When you've stopped learning and caring, and appreciating, your time has come.
This morning I was paid a very nice compliment by my sister on my Facebook page. She said she loved me and was proud of the person I'd become. That really made my day. That someone else can see and appreciate my growth even though it has little, if not nothing to do with them is very refreshing! I have some amazing family to be grateful for. Life is good. And if you haven't realized it yet, start looking for your bliss. Because there will always be negative things in your life to focus on. If you allow them to consume you, you will spend your life miserable. This, I promise you.
So, as corny as it may be... Be the change you want to see in the world.
Rant concluded!
worst intentions
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.j.e.s.s.
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2011 7 December :: 7.40pm
i am so overjoyed to finally become what i always knew i was meant to be. <3 <3 <3
3 wishful thinkers |
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tuwang
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2011 6 December :: 2.08am
never met the bitch but I fucked her like I missed her
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tuwang
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2011 6 December :: 2.02am
DJ Cupps in the mix... rockin the 1's and 2's
1 wishful thinker |
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phil-himself
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2011 2 December :: 11.36am
Sometimes I like to sport a hearty rager and try to get people to look at it.
4 wishful thinkers |
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jordanmackenzie7
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2011 1 December :: 8.40pm
I am extremely lonely. I am so grateful for Brenton's job, but I miss him.
2 wishful thinkers |
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gillette
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2011 30 November :: 5.29pm
goal for the night: create a studying schedule for exam week..and stick to it!! no procrastination for once in my life...it will be very relieving to me in the long run!
3 wishful thinkers |
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tuwang
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2011 28 November :: 11.30pm
Well... now that there's a hole in my door I think moving out is the only option I have.
1 wishful thinker |
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spud
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2011 27 November :: 4.16pm
so, friday didn't go very well. i still enjoyed myself, to a certain extent, but it definitely did not go like i had hoped. i just have too much faith in people being open-minded. i really need to learn to keep my trap shut, because not everyone is as accepting of differences as i am. or as tolerant of stupid shit.
--------------
thursday was fine. there was food. the lions lost. my family sat around. the highlight of my evening was playing liar's dice with the alspaugh guys.
last night was fairly epic, if uneventful.
and i got my scooter fix for the weekend. so that's good.
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gillette
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2011 27 November :: 1.34pm
I AM BEYOND PISSED RIGHT NOW.
so nic's kid is out of fucking control. we only get her every other weekend and it's clear that her mother does not discipline her. she's basically raised by the babysitter who illegally watches 8 other children and let's them run around and do whatever they want. i can't deal with her attitude anymore or her defiancy! so nic made her a breakfast sandwich and she took 2 bites and said i'm full (normal child behavior i understand) and nic told her multiple times..as did i..that she would have to sit there and eather sandwich otherwise she couldn't get down..so she pushed her sandwich away and put her head on the table and sat there for 20 mins or so..i reheated the sandwich..gave it back..she goofed around for 15 more minutes making noises, crawling around on her chair, pulling apart the sandwich, claiming she didn't like eggs (which she eats everytime she's here) and telling us she would "not" eat the sandwich..so finally after an hour (nic just sat on the couch the whole time and pretty much said nothing to her) he told her to go to her room and threw away the sandwich.....
WELL WHY DID I JUST WASTE MY FUCKING BREATH FOR AN HOUR IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LET HER WIN. how is she EVER going to learn to listen, no wonder shje doesn't..that was EXACTLY what she wanted..to not eat her fucking sandwich and guaranteed in half an hour she'll be hungry and asking for a snack. when he told her she could leave the table she smiled and leaped out of her chair and ran upstairs to play..how great of a 'punishment' she's up there singing and playing with her littlest pet shops happy as could be. it's FRUSTRATING b/c it's MY house too and she should have to listen around here but nic just gives in b/c it's easier that way. but now what? after an hour long battle she got her way for being defiant..so great..we just taught her that if she refuses to do something long enough, she will get her way. UGH i'm so annoyed right now!! and if I try to help or offer advice (stick with what you said nic, don't give in..etc..) he'll tell me "why do people who don't have kids think they know everything" i don't think I know fucking everything but I'm PRETTY sure that you just taught her it's ok to not listen, she'll get her way but HEY maybe i'm wrong.
2 wishful thinkers |
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tuwang
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2011 25 November :: 12.54pm
Thanksgiving was good with the exception of the reffing in the lions game. What the fuck was that? I guess if Aaron Rodgers can't actually produce the yardage to get to the red zone you have to give it to him.
whatever.
Other then that everything is gravy :)
I dont' think I've ever been this full in my life.
Is someone really going to hire me?
1 wishful thinker |
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phil-himself
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2011 23 November :: 11.35am
I may retire from this site.
7 wishful thinkers |
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phil-himself
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2011 22 November :: 10.48pm
Meanwhile at DSI, things are ok.
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phil-himself
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2011 21 November :: 4.07pm
Passive Restraints
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tuwang
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2011 20 November :: 2.03pm
so... I switched cuts last night for some cash to get out early, hopped on the metro, and made my way downtown to some club with only letters and numbers in the name trying to sound hip (tr 5768 or cb 12 12 or pg 3030 or something like that).
I danced my ass off (what little I had). I got in there and I was greeted immediately by a beautiful girl of the Peruvian persuasion, three shots of tequila, and a group of nice people. 3 hours later... all the stress and problems and worries and frustrations I seemed to have had are gone, rendering yesterdays post pointless. :) Funny how shitty dance music can do that.
except for the room mate thing. That's still on. They've been trying to not be so abrasive but I feel as though I've already made up my mind. This morning after Diana left, I went back to sleep only to be awoken by the sounds of sex coming through the vents. I've owned it up to a bad living situation at this point, because I can't really hate on that.
Advantages of new apartment:
~$100 less a month
bigger room that isn't next to the door that opens like a vault at fort knox
bigger kitchen and living room area
better room mates
My new room mates are both girls, however. We're all currently in a relationship of 4 months - 2 years so that's not really an issue, I've just never really lived with a girl other than my mom (who doesn't count). I'm both curious and mortified at the prospect. largely worried about shower time, but they aren't necessarily the "get really gussied up every day like we're going out" type.
so... next step is find a new job. wish me luck.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2011 17 November :: 9.32pm
Scriptina
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tuwang
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2011 19 November :: 3.25pm
alright, so more detail....
Basically, when I came back from Japan I was living with my mom for the time being and didn't really have any friends outside of work.That's when I decided to fill my schedule with nothing but work.
Now, I live on my own and have a girlfriend whom I'd like to see on occasion. I DO get to see her usually twice a week, but she's in school and by the time our friday hangout date rolls around she's so exhausted all she wants to do is sleep. I on the other hand, have been sleeping all week and want to go out.
This week, I got a drunk phone call from her on thursday around 2 in the morning. She was too exhausted to really "hang out" or do whatever yesterday, and now that I have to work until midnight tonight she's going out with all her friends. I mean... I'm not upset that she's going out without me, but she had planted the idea in my head and I thought we were going somewhere other than inside on friday.
but of course she was too tired to really even have a conversation with me.
Also notable, when she goes out... she looks good, and she's fun to dance with. I haven't really had an opportunity to combine those two things at once. Usually she comes over on saturdays anyway, but she's been out and has taken the heels off and only wants to sleep because we both have to work early on sundays.
I feel like this should be the other way around, or at least that's what I've been told my entire life.
I am a glorified body pillow at the moment.
I'm sure this will change in the future as I get a new job hopefully within the next few months, and I'm positive it's not that she doesn't WANT me there, but damnit I'm getting frustrated and I don't know how to quell it.
I wouldn't be so frustrated if I didn't like her so much. She's really bright, I enjoy hanging out with her, tri-lingual, and has an ass that (as I've said before) is claimable on your taxes as a dependent.
What also doesn't help is that my room mates suck and keep me up all night. This has put me on a weird schedule and they are stressing me out, and I"m sick of my job that makes me work only the days I can see anyone outside of work.
I'm moving out in the next month and that's stressing me out as well.
I have finished re-doing the resume I've lost, including recontacting all of the references I've had, and for the most part looking at it I'm not the worst candidate in the "to be" place for my field.
I just feel like I"m getting the raw deal, and I want a break from stress.
advice? how does one be patient and motivated at the same time?
4 wishful thinkers |
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tuwang
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2011 19 November :: 4.28am
I've never had this problem before... ever...
It's really frustrating. I've done this a thousand times with everyone else but when it really matters I can't follow through....
the hell?
3 wishful thinkers |
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gillette
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2011 18 November :: 4.26pm
Trying to start my own business so I can get the hell out of the casino..
I have a website! kind of exciting..
jgillette.bodybyvi.com
I just hope people see my results and know that they can do it too! I'm trying to convince my mom to do it now instead of bariatric surgery. Her surgery is scheduled for December..so we shall see..My Uncle Sam is doing it and he's been a type one diabetic with a pump for 20+ years..and for the first time he's lowering all of his meds! If that doesn't convince my mom I don't know what will..makes me nervous. ugh. Off to work... :/
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