idont wanna feel this small

:: 2003 9 December :: 6.54am

WOo HOo!! i get to leave skool early thurs cuz yah dats when karis funeral is..and yah steve wants me to go wif him cuz he knew her..yah dats majorly sad..hes all depressed n shit and i dont know wat to do..

wow isnt everyone tho..and i dont know wat to do.. =/

I luv you britt!! Im srry bout da stacey thing..i dont know wat to do!!!! Tell me wat to do and ill do it

:: 2003 8 December :: 6.30pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: The voice within...

Work work work work work..
::Work schedule::

Thurs- 5:30pm
Fri- 5:00pm
Sat- 10:00 am
Sat- 5:00 pm
Sun-10:00 am
Sun- 3:00 pm

geesh lots and lots of work..but ill get lots n lots of money!! =) hehe

But da bad thing is ill have no time fo britt..i think dat after all of dis shit..i think dat im jus goin to not work dis week..or somethin i unno..maybe jus not work a few nites like only work thur n sat or something..im pretty sure she needs me now..=/ tho i have no idea wat to do!?

I luv u britters and i'll do anything fo you..jus tell me wat u want me to do..cuz i'll do anything i luv u sooo much and im really srry..YOU MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME!! I dont know wat i would do without you..you mean everything to me!!

Your the ~~only thing ive got left~~, plz dont ever leave me..

Chelsie im srry i got soo mad at u earlier t day..its jus u really dont have any idea wat ur taklin bout no offence..but i do luv u and i am srry!! Thanks tho babe =/

love..me!! =/

3 alone | cant handle this

thoughtskill

:: 2003 8 December :: 11.05am
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Out of control..

home sick..
`heyy..im home sick today.. =/ I have a cold i think, ick. my head hurts really bad.

wanna see some picatures? of corse you dew!

thoughtskill

:: 2003 7 December :: 9.33pm
:: Mood: lonely

Everything is always my fault..
kimmy is all feeling left out cuz of me and daniel.. i hate it when people feel left out. i hate being left out. and ive had my fair share of that, trust me. But yea..i reallllly love kimmy! n i hope eveerything turns out good =]

i wanna hang out wit daniel again though, soon. he is by far the coolest person ive ever met. i love you daniel =]

everything is not okay with me and jill. yeah, i lied.

im so fuckin ugly. i feel fuckin fat around most mah f'n friends...i just really dont wanna feel that way anymore. i eat. but like not as much as i should..ick. somedays i eat abunch, lyk yesterday n some days i dont eat barly at all. maybe one meal cuz my mom makes me...i cant fuckin control it god.

and jill is doin that one thing ..alot . so who gives a fuck right?

how can i trust anyone..if i dont even fuckin trust myself??

< / 3.

6 alone | cant handle this

:: 2003 7 December :: 9.28pm
:: Mood: high
:: Music: *More to life*

Lets see had a busy day t day at work!! And now im soo fuckin busy cuz ive got hw in EVERY FUCKIN CLASS!! And im dead tired..2marro is my first day off.. =/ Steve will prolly come over tho..so i really wont get to rest..we'll prolly fuckin get high.. =/ dunno anymore..

Other den dat nothing has happened lately..

Brittany marie gamester i luvu soo much and ims rry dat i really havent been dat good of a friend lately..i will try harder..but youve gotta talk to me babe i luv you!! I hope were okay..things seem weird lately I LUV YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!! YOUR DA BEST THING DATS EVER HAPPENED TO ME IL UVYOU!!

:: 2003 7 December :: 9.10am
:: Mood: drunk

Urgh work now..now ive gotta do a funeral all by myself.. =/ wif 100 ppl im scared usually youve got like 2 or 3 ppl for dat amount..im scared.. =/

Oh well neways..i miss britt..i wont really get to talk wif her this next week either..work every single day..and den da next week ill get to see her!! so dats good hehehe =)

I luv you brittany marie gamester and i mis u and i hope dat your not mad at me i luv you soo much babe!!

3 alone | cant handle this

thoughtskill

:: 2003 6 December :: 11.29pm

still laughin
Today was sooo great--*
i slept in till lyk 2 pm today!! holy shit, i didnt feel good so i didnt/ n culdnt go to the moviez..but instead i went to DANIEL's house.. i love him!!! he is sooooo fuckin funny we watched simply irristable n darkness falls n omg we were laughin soooo hard i started crying !! ahh it was great!! we would start screamin cuz it was SCARY n then start cracccckin up..omg i love it..im gonna come back tomarro..loli love you daniel!!

ahh thats bout it for now..write more later.

:: 2003 6 December :: 10.57pm
:: Mood: grumpy

Well lets see here..not much has been going on lately..havent talked to steve since uhm yesterday lol and he was pissed at me after skool.. =/ oh well who cares..

Talked to britt t day!! I luv dat gurl!! Shes da bestest in da whole wide world!! hehe I LUV YOU BRITT!! =)

talked wif chelsie t day too!! Had a great talk wif her..she helped me mucho much..i luv her too!!

And rite now im talkin wif Megan..were taklin bout some pretty deep n interestin stuff..im really glad dat i met her! =)

Btu da best part was..i met this gurl..he name is Katt or Katrina really..shes friggin awesome!! We've got sooo much in comman and shes soo easy to talk to!! We were talkin bout how we cut ourselves and wats going on wif our family and wats going on wif our boyfriends and like friends and all of this diff shit!! Shes funny as hell too!! I think dis could be da start to a very awesome friendship lol.. =) IM REALLY GLAD I MET HER!!!!!!! =)

nuffin else happened really..so im gonna go..luv you all bye!! =)

:: 2003 5 December :: 11.48pm
:: Mood: busy

*If i hated you as much as i luv you..it would be like you were hitler and i was a group of jews!!*

Very well put Tiffany..i luv u soo much sweetie..thanks fo always being there..ur da best!!

I LUV YOU TIFFANY!! =) hehe u damn fool lmao!! Great times..latah babe..

2 alone | cant handle this

:: 2003 5 December :: 6.49am

Went x mas shoppin yesterday..i think i went a lil overboard wif a few ppl lol like steve..or britt or becky dawn lol

oh well!! I had fun!! I LUV YOU TRIXI!!!!!!! hehe ur da best babe!!

neways dont have anything to say..I MISS YEW BRITTERS..dtas all..fo now..im sure more will be writtin latah lol bye

:: 2003 3 December :: 9.01pm
:: Mood: exhausted

Urgh went home sick from skool gain t day..went to courts house..den went to work..im dead tired..but ive still gotta call Steve at 9..cuz hes got something *important* to tell me..i think hes going to *break* up wif me.. =( I sure hope not..

Oh well..stuff it..=/ I got some pix of Steve t day tho..rite before i went home he brought me some pix of him..YaY!! lol but yah neways..

Steve steve steve..im becomin my worst nightmare really..i hate ppl dat always takl bout guys..but wtf am i doing..=/ NEXT SUBJECT!!

Lets see..really havent talked wif britt lately..Tho i am talkin to her rite now..hehe =)

I dont know im fuckin tired..and sick..and pissed..and alotta stuff..*confused really* Oh well neways..gotta go..gonna call steve soon *there i go again* and den going rite to bed..bye..

:: 2003 3 December :: 6.44am

WOo HOo!! Skool..ick..and im sick..ick!! Oh well..ill jus throw up on em again and thier going to have to send me home!! =)

Britt i luv yew babe!! And hope u have a wonderful day!! I hope to talk wif u latah t nite!! If not I LUV YOU!!!!!!! =)

everyone else i luv u to!! hehe bye!!