idont wanna feel this small

:: 2004 18 June :: 7.58pm

Breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is b l e s s e d,
you share with me.
This night is ~~wild~~,
so calm and d-u-l-l,
these hearts they [r][a][c][e],
from self control.
Your legs are smooth,
as they graze mine,
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so h~i~g~h,
that your k.i.s.s. might ~~kill me~~.
So won't you kill me,
s/o/ /I/ /d/i/e/ /h/a/p/p/y.
My heart is yours to fill or b u r s t,
to ~~break~~ or bury,
or wear as j*e*w*e*l*e*r*y,
which ever you prefer.

The words are hushed lets not get ~~busted~~;
just lay (e)(n)(t)(w)(i)(n)(e)(d) here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so d u m b.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay ~~close~~ they can't hear...
so we can **get some**.

My hopes are so >>high<< that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to ~~break~~ or b u r y, or wear as j*e*w*e*l*e*r*y,
which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever [r][e][m][e][m][b][e][r],
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the DIM of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we r-e-a-l-i-z-e-d it's so late
and this walk that we s.h.a.r.e.d. together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
and I l'e't' 'y'o'u' 'i'n'.
And you stood at your door with your h`a`n`d`s on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you m-e-a-n-t it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it.

7 alone | cant handle this

1 alone | cant handle this

:: 2004 18 June :: 7.11pm

omg. me and chris's pony turned gothic.. lol. and we're not sure if its a boy or a girl. ~~her~~ his it's name is bibbles.. if any of you are interested in taking part in paying for our pony support please call me!! ;)

:: 2004 18 June :: 5.53pm
:: Music: dc- hands down

why do so many people talk shit to get attention?to be annoying? well i hate people like that....thats all they do its like there life or something>> >I< >HATE< >HER< so0o0o0o0o much.....n her gay little friends thats all they do is talk crap bout me n try to get shit started with me n my friends or worst BOYFRIEND but i wont let that happen ill fight till the end cuz im determined.......that sounded corny but i hate it when people who talk shit doubt me.......britt knows how determined ive become these past weeks.... so im gonna fight......un till i win....but g2g im bored lol gonna go do sunthin

^^^^ callis entry

ok..
so you hate me.. and you hate my friends.. and your gonna fight??
alrighty.and another thing.. you dont like being talked about. well. >I< >HATE< >HER< so0o0o0o0o much.....n her gay little friends. that whole fucking entry is about me. and that is talking crap. and dont put in your lil journal that im the one talking. your mouth is never shut
^^^ my comment

calli then sed that she wasnt talking about me

kayla not everything is about you!!!!!!! that journal isnt for you ok!!!! i have a life....n its not all about you i dont n=know why you think it is....i dont care wut you n your friends do.....so leave me alone n stop jumping to conclusions when you dont even know the story....NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU n i wasnt talking crap about that person i was stating an opinion....like i told brittany i think your sweet n pretty so why would i start stuff with you when i dont even talk to you ne more....hmmm w/e i gotta go to my life guard camp>>>> if you want ill just stop "trying" to be friends with you mk you can have wut you have always wanted....

^^^^^ callis next entry

the fact that you kinda do talk about me. and a lot of ppl tell me that.. i "jumped to the conclusion" that that entry was bout me. who else do you hate and all her gay friends.. talking crap and "stealing your boyfriend".. i thought i was the only person who was trying to do that.
^^^^ my comment
so see you are trying to screw things up with me n him....w/e

^^^ callis reply

i thought i was the only person who was trying to do that.
^^^ thats what you always say. not what i think. but you do. and i was the one telling you how much he talks about you. would i be saying things like that if i wanted to screw you guys up. if you think i can do that.. your insecure.
^^ my reply

calli, you didnt get it. you always tell me that im trying to steal chris."try to get shit started with me n my friends or worst BOYFRIEND" and since you sed that entry wasnt about me.. i asked if therr was ne one else trying to "steal" your b/f. once again.. IM NOT FUKKIN TRYING TO STEAL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cant handle this

:: 2004 16 June :: 9.36pm

becky wants to put a hammer through someones head ... me tooo
grrrr. grrrr. grrrr.
someones journal entry is making me mad. how would you like it if someone sed that they hate you and your friends?and therr reason was that they talked crap about them? and what if they. as they were typing this little entry put >HATE< >HER< so0o0o0o0o much.....n her gay little friends.. i have a question for all of you. and you can comment if you want.. wouldnt that be considered talking crap????
later

3 alone | cant handle this

9 alone | cant handle this

:: 2004 14 June :: 1.12am
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: Foolish --ashanti *old i knw*

Cant get no better than being here wif you..
Well lets see here, nothing really going on. got mah new livejournal perrtty. Very happy with mahself lol. Thans to steph n ash. <3.

Though i still luhv woohu..soo much. Mah background and everything there, is just AWESUM!!! wheeee hehe. =) I think ima keep woohu going too tho. Depends. We'll see =)

Got mah hair done today, its lovely. Well not really, well yea, i dont know, havent decided yet, i dont know bout th brown, but the highlights are cute. =p lol. Wanna see? Course course, everyone wants to see ugly ass meh *that ryhmed omg lol*

Read more..

Well time for bed, or mayb ill stay up n talk to britt whie she doesnt hate meh lol. I <3 u britty. Well nighty night every1.

22 alone | cant handle this

:: 2004 13 June :: 2.37pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: everyb0dyz f0ol

clip my wings - with0ut y0u i cant fly
`last night me megan amber n miSsy went to tip of the park -- think thats what its called? its outside and theres bands movies f0od krazii people .. theze 3 kiddz gave amber a sign that said y0uve g0t gr8 ann arb0r b0obz - congragulations! s0o im lyyk why didnt i get one?! and then theyy gave me 3 =] -- l0l *

g0t h0me r0und 12iish - fell asleep round 1 .. nick called me r0und 1:3o s0 i w0ke up n talked t0 him .. we were both really tired n lyk fallin asleep .. l0l .. why didnt u open it?!! ommmg.. im g0nna kill muhself seriously im gonna kill myself NO i didnt jus sayy that .. oo god i wanna kill myself .. lma0 i l0ve y0u *!

i miss kaela =[

3 alone | cant handle this

:: 2004 12 June :: 6.06pm
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: yesterday..

3 months.
seems like forever .
ive never felt this way before

<333333333

2 alone | cant handle this

:: 2004 11 June :: 10.29pm
:: Music: sugarcult -- memory

This may never s t a r t .
We could fall [a][p][a][r][t].
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we l a s t e d.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r.
My heart's beating ~~faster~~.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never s t a r t.
I'll tear us [a][p][a][r][t].
Cannot be your enemy.
Losing half a year.
Waiting for you here
I'd be your anything.

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I i-m-a-g-i-n-e.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the DISASTER.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never s t a r t .
Tearing out my [h][e][a][r][t].
I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
(I'd be your memory)
Feelings dISSAppear.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I i-m-a-g-i-n-e.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never s t a r t.
We could fall (a)(p)(a)(r)(t)
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?

1 alone | cant handle this

:: 2004 11 June :: 4.15pm

*HUGS* TOTAL!
give lala91 more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

hehe.. i got hugz from britt's journal!! love ya <3 frosti!!
wuv..
tater tot lol.

8 alone | cant handle this

:: 2004 11 June :: 1.16pm

*HUGS* TOTAL!
give thoughtskill more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

give me hugz babiiz =] commment n tell me how many u left

:: 2004 11 June :: 1.04pm
:: Mood: depressed

Brittany marie gamester i luhv u more than ive ever loved anyone ur the best friend that ive ever had i dont know wtf i would do without you plz dont leave meh, plz plz plz seirously you are mah life, NOBODY ELSE!! Your mah best friend, i dont knwo wtf to do i luhv u mroe than anything i cant live w/o you plz dont do this to meh i dont know wat to do, plz plz plz ='(

I need you in mah life, id ont give a fuck who i have to give up jus for you, i would give up anything and everyone and i will if you want plz jus dont fuckin leave meh, plz oh plz. Id be ntohing without you, plz. Omg ims orry im sooo soo srry plz plz plz dont fuckin leave meh!!!!! ='(

I take anything and everythign ive ever said bak jus plz dont fuckin leave meh britany marie gamester!!!!

9 alone | cant handle this

17 alone | cant handle this

:: 2004 10 June :: 10.55pm
:: Mood: uncomfortable

How could i live w/o you..?
Well today was, uhm shitty. mah 2 best friends gettin into a huge fight Wif meh stuck in the middle Oh well, it aint got shit to wif meh. let em argue. i aint stickin up for nobody

Brittany Marie, im soo srry for everything. I hate wat happened, and im soo sorry for not stickin up fo ryou 2 babii gurl. I really am truely sorry and i hope u can forgive meh i luhv u.

Ali jean im sorry to u 2. Im sorry that u went through all dis shit. And yeah i still luhv u more than anythin, but, its juss ur talkin shit bout britt, and dats uhm mah best friend, (one of) and u know how much she means to meh, i jus cant believe u would do dat to meh. But i still luv u and hope u dont hate meh.

And malissa babes, im really sorry for not talkin and for being a bitch and for everythin. I know im not surposed to be sorry but i still am and yeah i luv u soo much sweetheart. your the besterest. *mwuz*

<33 Jillane <33

7 alone | cant handle this

:: 2004 10 June :: 10.05pm
:: Mood: dramatic
:: Music: M0vie - d0nn0 which 0ne

drama, drama, drama. ive been cryin alot lately, and i never cry.. ugh everything is just going wrong.
=/
kaela & jay <-- you 2 have helped me through tons of it .. i love you <3
and thx 2 muh lil sissy kayla who cares even th0 i didnt get t0 talk t0 her b0ut it =/ i love you ya slut