I wonder if as she sank through the river her dress full of stones did she try to fight death... or maybe she stayed still and let it choke her if it was death she feared why bring it on herself maybe I'll never understand but I hope that if I ever meet her I can listen to her and in turn she'd listen too because there is an escape yes there is a way full of everything she was scared of losing

Computers, CD players, TVs, phones. We're always trying to shut each other out.

Cornelius is trippy.

Rawr!!!!!

I'm back *kyle says as if anyone will actually care*.

I got a doe and a spike buck. I was brave and gutted the buck. We just butchered the doe in our garage. Fun stuff.

See y'all next Tuesday!

I leave you all with an inspirational quote from a dearly loved animator:

"Do not forget this. It's the law of the universe that the strong will survive and the weak will fall, and I don't give a damn what kind of idealistic plan is cooked up, nothing can change that!"

-Walter Disney

AAAAAAAHHHH help!!!! I need to get out of the house.

My sister's having her boyfriend over for a DATE!!! I can't stand it!!

[edit]

Oh and I'm leaving tomorrow.

Whew, something in the breeze smells like urinal cakes.



"And now we've Aurelius,
But soon comes Decious;
And perhaps Constantine
Is a devil keen
On making things easy."

i have no friends.

I made this and I am proud.

A Hard Rock Newsletter Style

First ever punk rock band practice this saturnday!  I'm the singer-screamerer!

Could FLATFOOT 56 be the next Ballydowse???  We'll just have to wait and see...

Takako Minekawa puts out more crap!  This time the japanese child star sings about tampons or something!

Lust Control is still broken up!  Mad fans rampage through Austin!

Will Eisley ever put out their darn debute album???  Maybe next month!

We've never heard of Mogwai!!  Have you???

Did everyone in Lifehouse get abducted by aliens??  We think so!  Otherwise they would've put out another album by now!!!

Joy Electric is so cool!  Ronnie Martin kindof looks like Dan!

Anabret dies along with the John Doe television series!!  Oh the irony!

House of Ill Repute is what got singer/song-screamer legend Kirel into rock music in the first place!  They are cool!

Ganglia is weird!  It needs sunshine!!

The Pillows have a new single!!  They probably don't like haggus because they're Japanese!  If you can read their site you'll get a prize!!

Them and their red, red pants!  Showbread is raw rock and pop at the same time!!!  They'd probably hit me for saying that!!!

Crimson Moonlight??? Are they still around????  Want their new album!

Keep on rawkin!

The finish.

This place is an apathetic limbo.

Still, if you ever want to change anything, you have to start with yourself.

Will I be real, or will I cave in?


________________________
"Freely they stood who stood, and fell who fell.
Not free, what proof could they have giv'n sincere
Of true allegiance, constant Faith or Love,
Where only what they needs must do, appear'd
Not what they would? what praise could they receive?
What pleasure I from such obedience paid,
When Will and Reason (Reason also is choice)
Useless and vain, of freedom both despoil'd,
Made passive both, had serv'd necessity,
Not mee[?]"

Milton's ideas of why God gave us free will from his epic poem "Paradise Lost." I thought it was pretty cool. Still, it probably doesn't explain everything.

time to go be a hero.


___
If you're coming Oct 30, please bring a food thing. It would make things 20x better for each one.

I had a dream a few nights ago that I had a long lost sister. I saw her in the family portrait from when I was 3, and I wondered who that older girl was sitting next to Dad. Turns out she ran away at age 7 and became an actoress, really pretty and succesful. I had fun stalking her and making her generally uncomfortable.

It was pretty lifelike, except for my bathroom growing a haunted organ and the part when it would only turn into daylight 20 yards ahead of me.



If I fall back down,
You're gonna help me back up again
If I fall back down,
You're gonna be my friend!

sigh...

me = hypocrite and liar etc etc.

Things are going sooo cool right now. I finally decided to stop waiting for God to put stuff in my path and go find out what He might have in store for me.

That being said... I'm now the (tentitive) singer for a yet unnamed punk band.

like, a real punk band.

like, we're preforming. oct 26 for the church youth group.

I'm sooo excited.

Oh, and I decided to go for the Sinead O'Conner look. But don't worry, I learned my lesson about giving into society and I'm sure my mohawk will grow back someday. : (

So I was at Urban Mill with my youth group today, it was so rawkin. We basically had a discussion thingy, this week's topic was 'The will of God', which took a lot of stress off me... like I was all, "What if God wants me to go to this college or pick this career and I don't and blow my whole life to smithereens????" But I learned that God allows us freedom within His will to make choices, and career is one of them (although if that comes in conflict with what He specifically commands in His Word, then we should yeild to it i.e. i'm not going to be a stripper or anything). And some stuff about honoring parents and elders. I'm going to miss next weeks though because I'm deer hunting, it makes me sad because the topic is 'what does God say about the Church?' which I've been dying to hear about from SOMEONE.

Oh and I had a triple (quadruple?) shot frozen mocha with coffee bean chunks and chocolate chunks, which is why I'm bouncing off the walls and still up and about at 2330 hours.

ooo, I'm so going to crash tomorrow morning.

Caffein is fun.

Oh and I need someone to take me to Meijers tomorrow maybe if you want because I despretly need a pair of purple sweatpants.