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2004 16 July :: 7.08 am
:: Mood: Alive
Don't worry guys. I didn't go online last night, but I am still alive. Ha. I knew you were freaking out. Not really.
Yeah, summer school...we made cinnamin rolls. Yuuuum. Then Jill took me home. Then came back. Then we visted the Pants and annoyed him until I had to go run to work.
Work was hell. I did get to go home a half hour early. So I went home, scarfed down food and decided to maybe get some sleep.
Now its 7:11 and I have to find pants to wear to schoool. The Jillian will be here soon. Ks? ks. Bye.
-Patrice.
PS- I wanna comment on people's journals. But Im too lazy. so just on big HII! To everyone.
Oh, and I want to go to VH thing. :-( I only have saturday off though. Poo. I know. Ah well. Ok I'm done. Adios.
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 15 July :: 12.26 am
:: Mood: None
:: Music: None
Strike and Spare..:-)
Well. I'm gonna give you a brief overview of the day. Without sharing any feelings. I might just start exploding. Ok?
So I went to school. Picked stocks opposite of Jills. We're competing. She earned more money then I did.
I went home next. Sat around, missed Johhny Depp A-Z. Jackie came and picked me up. I wrapped Q's present in the car.
We got to Q's house, we called him, he told us his house number. We went inside. Pirates was going on. I ate cauliflower and sat there. Then Q gave us cake. And lotsa lotsa good food. (BTW..HAPPY BIRTHDAY Q! Hope you had fun..)
Then Wender called me about bowling. I asked Jackie if she wanted to go. She said "maybe". Then she left. Corey showed up. Reid and Q and Corey were watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Sandy and I just kinda sat.
We went to get Sandy's car. We drove to Jackie's, she went with Corey. We drove to Q's. Got Q and Reid. Drove too far down 45. Had to call Wender to help us.
We got to the bowling place, Sandy and I joined the first game. Because we had to leave early. We bowled. I sucked. Everyone else did good. Second time around, I got a spare and a strike. (One moment of reaction..WOOO! NEVER GOTTEN A STRIKE BEFORE!)
Went home. Talked to Sandy in the car. Found out Bush's amendment to the constitution regarding gay marriages was rejected. (More YAY!..No, I'm not gay. I just think that taking away a basic freedom like who to marry is against what this country was built on)
So I'm home now. Writing all this. School tmorrow. Then work at 5:45. Till 10:45. It's a shorter day.
Ok bye.
-Patrice
2 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 13 July :: 12.28 am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me
Just Another Day.
Just another fun filled day of school and work. Ate lunch with people. Then was home for about 20 minutes, went to work.
Then on break I stopped by Petsmart and pet the cats and hung out with the fish. Good times.
Was $12 under. I feel stupid. I hate working sometimes. Oh well. It's life.
-patrice
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 11 July :: 3.26 pm
I don't feel good. I feel sick right now. I have to go to work soon.
I ate way too much for lunch. I thought I was more hungry I guess. Blech.
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 11 July :: 2.33 am
:: Mood: Crushed
:: Music: Yawn
Yawn
Yes, I'm updating. I've been away from woohu for less then 24 hours. I almost died. ::sigh::
There's nothing to look forward to anymore. Just another endless routine to fall into. School...shower..work..online..sleep...and repeat.
It makes me..not too happy. I'm sick of routine. I'm sick of the same thing. I'm sick of not being able to wake up actually wanting to start the day. I'm sick of just wanting to sleep and never leave my bed.
I'm sick of being happy one minute then talking about something or just getting lost in my thoughts and not being able to smile for a long time. I want to be happy. As cliche as that sounds. I want something to smile about.
AND I HATE NOT BEING IN CONTROL OF MY OWN LIFE!
Fucking hell. Super heroes should exist. It would be nice. Oh no, I'm hurt. Don't worry, I'll save you! Thanks... You're welcome. Now go live your life. ;-)
I feel small right now. Alot smaller then 4'11".
If only I could fly. Then I could go awy whenever I needed too. I would still be thinking these bad thoughts, I would just be too busy flying over everything to really care either way.
Everything would look small from up there. I would feel bigger maybe.
I'm really not mad at anyone right now. I blame no one. I blame me. I hate myself. I can't look inthe mirrow without wanting to break it. I can't think about me without wanting to just run awau..but I l realize you can't escape from yourself.
The only way is to just forget. Forget about what's really on your mind and what's really bugging you. make up pitiful excuses. Laugh at the stupid things. What else is there to smile about?
Don't hate me. ok? I do enough hating of the self to cover the world over.
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 10 July :: 1.23 am
:: Mood: Quiet
:: Music: Five For Fighting- One More For Love
Yeah. So my cat's butt is infected. I hope she's ok. :-( I'm kinda worried.
I had this insane dream today the third time I slept. K? I'll tell you. It's long, so this time it's the main points. Ha.
Jill and two pple from my work were wondering around an old house with butcher knives. and they're pretending like they're action heroes. And they're trying to get me to play along, but I feel sick. So I faint and it feels like I'm about to pass out..and i wake up and I'm watching a movei trailer on my cell phone. Then I realize it's not my phone. but a portable DVD player. And the girl in the movie sends images of dead people to my head.
Then I'm in school and Phelan and I are talking and there's a kid kickign a box around on the catwalk...so I have to go up and tell him to stop. But when I get up there, it's really a balcony overlooking a garden and the kid throws the box at me head and laughs.
Then I'm sitting by the edge of the balcony and start to cry...because I've been sitting there so long and no one came to get me down after I had just helped this little kid get down before me.
So I start to watch a DVD and its about a girl whose parents died and she's explaining how it happened..she has all the scars of a fire..but no one is listening really. So she looks at me and tells me not to listen to others. They don't listen to you.
So I get on this teacup ride and ti starts to spin and a voice starts talking to me about the ride and connecting it to life. Then I think I'm not really on the ride, it's just the movie, so I don't get scared.
Then I go on another ride and the same thing happens, but I realize it's a real ride halfway through the guy's speech and I start to pass out again.
Ok. My dream. I think I'll try to talk at work tomorrow. I will. You can't stop me. I can do this. yeah? Ok. ::sigh:: Woo. Ok. Be strong patrice. :-\. Ks.
Saw Now and Then. Why can't life be more like movies. "we're friends forever...." I always thought ti was possible, but now I doubt myself. People change and they change what they expect out of friends. I hate change when you still live in the same place. It'd be alot easier if I picked up and moved right now. Then everything would change atleast, and back here would always seem to be the same.
I don't know. I'm very....---------...right now. Not happy, not sad. Just here. Wo. Welcome here.
Good bye.
-Patrice
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 9 July :: 12.21 am
:: Mood: Pissed Off
Work...fucking...sucks!
I swore alot today. Thats how you know I'm mad. Work sucked. Shiity trainer who didn't do anything, then I got another dude who was nice, but I walked around like an idiont cuz he didnt tell me what to do when there was nothing to cleana nd I felt stupid and like an idiot and I didn't get a break and I got to leave at 9:30. Gr.
So I don't work tomorrow. Meaning I WILL get out of this house and I WILL have fun with people. Because I'm working Saturday-tuesday...then thursday. Woo. I get one day off. Fucking hell.
Ok, call me tomorrow, ok? I need to get out right now. My brains not liking me and I need to run away. Again. Yes I know. I can't handle things. I can't handle stress. Thanks for telling me. You fucking shit face.
So I made up a sogn at work today....
"I hate work..Oh yes I do...I ahte work...because work hates me. No onelikes me. I am ignored. Not that i mind much, its just a bore"
I sang it to myself as I wandered around trying to find shit to do.
Isn't it sad? School is the best thing that's happened to me all week. Well..one of the best. Tennis and some ceonversations rank high up there. But fucking hell. I need to get out of here.
I'm quitting before I say too much. Bye shit heads.
-Patrice
(the "you shit heads" and other comments were nto directed at you or anyone else. The last thing I need is controversy over this)
(By stating "you" above, I was refering to the general population, not making any kind of mean comment.)
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 8 July :: 5.20 pm
I SURVIVED ONE DAY OF SUMMER SCHOOL!
Yeah. I survived. Not too bad. class wanted to kick my ass because I wrote too much on the overhead. Ha. Screw them. Fun times.
Jilland I have our own kitchen. Party and a half. French toast was good today. Mac and cheese better be good. ::fingers crossed.
Okie...off to work I go. Yum yum. Yes, I'm off to eat work. Haha. I need help.
-patrice
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 7 July :: 8.03 pm
Heya. My wrist is shot right now. I'm too utta shape, lol.
Just got back from tennising with Hul. It was fun. Lol, I actually hit the ball sometimes. Then jackie came and I kind of stood there, lol. But it's okay. It was still fun.
I'm writing out postcards right now....so give me your address if you want one. I have three left, so first three addresses get one. Woo? Yay? Ok
Dinner soon. Poo. Okies. well Bye people.
-Patrice
3 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 7 July :: 12.32 am
I don't feel much like talking right now. So if I'm dead right now, that's why. Probably no offense to you. Just don't feel like pissing off a whole billion more people. Who knows what I'm capable of?
I'm a bad person. I have the bad habit of ruining lives. So, my friends, I would back off before I kill you too.
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 6 July :: 2.16 pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Happy Days Theme Song
Do you have a song that just makes your day? Yeah, Haven't watched Happy Days in forever and a half. On a stick. But the song..I heard it and was all...wooo! Plus I always thought Richard Cunningham was a cutie. So that's where my messed up judgement in guys comes from. Where dorky= cute and hot=not. Something like that.
Haha. Woo am I just woo. I wish I had a tread mill...if that's how you spell it. Because I wantt o run, but I hate doing it outside. HATE IT. So yes. Because..I'm not happy with the me anymore. And I think working out will help, you know? So yeah.
I'm gonna go steal some cookie dough...yeah, talkign about working out then scarfign down cookie dough. I'm a genius.
Bye bye.
-Patrice
3 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 5 July :: 5.49 pm
So. You poos. Not updating journals. I need some entertainment before I go to hell. Lol.
Last night was fun. Made cake, ate lotsa food, took a walk(saw my manager dude...free-key), watched Fireworks, got hit in the eye with ashes(ow), went back to the moore's, sat around, made s'mores, sat, talked, and slept. Hm. Yes. Par-tay.
Now I have to go get ready to work. :-P I'm gonna go...die or something now. Not really, but blah. Poo. Shit. Crap. I need to get dressed. In work clothes. Don't worry, I'm not naked. That's be nasty. I need to work on my sentences. "That's be nasty" Yeah-huh...good job Patrice.
I'm going insane dude. Not insane. Just...::sigh:: Ha. That makes no sense what so ever. You know what? I don't fucking care. Ha. You poo.
Okay. Bye bye.
-Patrice
3 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 4 July :: 3.02 am
What You Don't/ Might Not Know. #'s 41-63
This is as much thinking as I could handle. Enjoy.
41. My middle name is Elaina, which is the spanish name for Helen, which is my great-aunt's name.
42. My halloween costumes have included a cheerleader, Belle, Cleopatra, Princess Leia, Batman/woman dealie, a 50's poddle skirt lady, a hobbit, and a goose.
43. When I'm super-pissed off I bake. Alot.
44. I've seen every episode of Little House On The Prairie.
45. My grandpa helped liberate a Nazi concentration camp. ( not really about me, but I figure you wouldn't know that)
46. My cat loves potatoes.
47. I still sleep with stuffed animals. ::shame::
48. My first TV crush was on DJ's boyfriend from Full House, Steve.
49. When I was in 2nd grade, my friends cousin threw a rock at my head and I almost passed out. Big goose egg. Not fun.
50. When I told my friends I was moving from Colorado, I said I was happy because I would get a horse (which I never got...my parents lied. Butts) and then they yelled at me and said that I wasn't a real friend because I'd rather get a horse then stay with friends. So from that point on, moving sucked.
51. My cousin and I walked around talking in pig latin was we called Amanda a "esbian-lay" and she started crying and wouldn't talk to us.
52. There's a art of me that loves sappy romantic movies. Yep, damn that romantic side of me. I like to keep her locked up though.
53. I was never really girly. When I was little, I wanted my room blue but cried when I realized blue was a "boy color".
54. The farhterst I've riden a bike in a day is either 18ish miles. or was it 36? Hmm.. Goli might know. she was there I think. Good old XC days.
55. I lost 15 pounds in one summer by running and eating healthy. Ha. I sound like an ad for dieting.
56. I cant sleep after watching Unsolved Mysteries or CSI
57. I've seen my mom get arrested once and dragged out of the house once so she could be taken to the mental hospital. Not a fun sight to see. It's hard on a kid when they hear their mom scream about how life is worthless and how the kids are what caused her to go crazy and because of us, she wants to die... as she's being dragged out in hand cuffs.
58. I've walked in on my parents doing...that..once. They still don't know though. ::shudder::
59. When my mom got a day pass from the hospital for x-mas, the first thing my brother said was " Patrice said you're a selfish bitch and that she hates you... I read it in her journal..." Thanks dude. Xmas wasn't real fun that year.
60. I started using the word Dude because my icon would react funnily to it. Now I can't stop using it. It's fun.Dude!!
61. I want a ferret. ::pouts::
62. I want to travel the world one day. Not in one day, just in my life sometime. You know?
63. If there is life after death, I want it to be like Lovely Bones. Read it. It's amazing. A whole book about heaven and I don't think they mentioned God once. I don't know. Good stuff.
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 3 July :: 1.11 pm
:: Mood: Sleepy
Hi. So I don't have much to say. I just woke up. Don't feel like facing the world just yet. So I'm here. What happened yesterday? I'll tell you about it. I job-ized. Screwed up about 60 bazillion times. I have to stand on my tip toes to see over the counter. Par-tay.
I need a digital watch. Can't read the other kind and I need to know the time alot. So watch looking I will go. When I feel like it.
I like being sarcastic. You know..it's actually kinda fun. I'm not that good at it though.
I...I...don't know. lol. I'm in one of those moods where a million things are going through your head at once, but you can't control them at all. And you try for hours to write down what you're thinking, but you can't. I could just go for the general statement which seems to fit when things go wrong. "People suck" There. Happy now? I'll try to be more deep later. Until that time comes, accept my narrowmindedness. Woo big word.
I think I'm going to continue my 101 things you dont know about me list. I'm only on 40. Gasp. I know. But once again, there is so much that I've told people. Damn me. Ruining this whole game.
I kinda want school to start again. Except just the same as it was last year. Same people. I don't care if people say "Oh, I want people to leave, drama will be over. Less bad stuff to think about..." or "I want to leave..less of this drama...blah blah" I want things to stay how they are. Sure. There is bad shit, but I think it's overall pretty good right now. I don't know or care if you agree. Just what I think.
Shit! I still have to pick two classes. Shit shit shit. Um okies. To school website I go.
When does summer school start? I should look that up too. I kinda want it to start, it'll get me out of the house other then working. Ya know? I don't know. I'll feel like I'm doing something with my time and not just spending it sitting here and getting fat.
I want some cookie dough ice cream. The Kim has rubbed off on me. Damn her. ::shakes fist::
Ok...I don't think I should write anymore. I might say something I don't mean to say. So away I go. Good bye people. have fun.
-Patricia
2 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 2 July :: 3.18 pm
:: Mood: Scared
So I'm working today. I know. I know. Everyone works. Goes through the first day of work without dying. But I'm a ver nervous little person. And yes. It's bad. I know I shouldnt be, but I can't help it. I took a shwoer today and accidently shampooed my hair twice. Then I was halfway through with "conditioner" when I realized it was soap. So I had to rewash my hair. Then I used shampoo as soap and had to rewash and it was just blah. And now my stomach is twisting in knots and I don't know what to do. I know I should eat. I'm work 5.5 hours....but I can't force myself to. I think I need to lose weight anyways. But not by not eating. And don't tell me I don't because I saw pictures of me in a swimsuit. and I don't like it. And that's that. Um..ok..sry..tangent.
Ok...I don't want to have a break. I wouldnt knwo what to do. I'm gonna die. Someone kill me, please?! Or put me in a coma. That'd work. Ok...so come over in the next 10 mins and hit me really hard on the head. It'll be fun I swear. Okay. I'm gonna die. now. I love you all. ::tear:: lOl
-Patrice
:-\
2 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow? |
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