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2004 22 April :: 12.12 pm
:: Mood: annoyed
I’m at school right now. Kinda mad, I thought we were in the library. But noooo…blah. No talking to Jillian and Jorie. Poo. Oh well. I’m just really insanely bored. I’m glad we aren’t doing anything today in history. Kenny’s just….urgh. I didn’t want to fall asleep two classes in a row.
My eye’s been hurting recently. I thought it was just a thing because I was tired, but it hasn’t left for a while and now it’s just pounding and it hurts. So I think I’ll ask the doctor when my mummy takes me for the cough. Lol, I sound like an old lady. “Look at me..I’m dying…hahahaha”
Well, I’m researching the 90’s…you know cuz I didn’t live through it. Bye then
-Patrice
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 21 April :: 9.15 pm
:: Mood: blah
Time goes so much faster when I'm not at crew.
I think I should be one of those monk pple who live alone in a hut in the middle of nowhere.
I'd have nothing to complain about, other then being bored. I won't be here and it could be like I'm just erased. Which I like.
Have you ever thought what things would be like if you were never here? I have, if I weren't here or if some of my friends. it's weird to think about.
I don't know, too much thinking, back to denial. Which is good, pretending things don't exist is good. Yep.
-patrice
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 19 April :: 10.35 pm
:: Mood: crushed
Today has just been one endless soap opera. I hate drama, I really do. I'm sorry, so incredibly sorry for anything. Don't think twice about it. I'll be okay. I've been through worse. Just right now, I can't take anymore.
I quit. Never have I meant this more. I just want to crawl up in a corner and die. Not die, just sleep for a long time. Until all this shit blows over.
I just don't want to care anymore. Caring only leads to getting hurt, which happens quite frequently in Patrice-land.
But tomorrow is a new day. Something good has to come of it. It has to. Things can't always get worse, right? They eventually have to improve...
Damn false optimism. Who am I kidding? It'll only get worse. I hate myself right now, I'm sorry.
So good night people, don't worry, I'm not insane. Just...a nutcase. So bye.
-Patrice
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 18 April :: 9.54 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Lotsa Songs
My foot hurts...
So, if you ever plan on walking in a swamp wear tennis shoes. Not sandals and not bare feet. And that's the end of that.
Ticks suck. The one thing I'm thankful that Iliinois doesn't have as much of that North Carolina is overpopulated with.
There's this tree in my backyard and it's so pretty. It has these white flowers all over it and the second you walk outside you smell it and I love it. I took pictures of and it and cut some off for my room.
You see, it only lasts for like 2 weeks out of the whole year. As soon as it gets warm outside, it blooms for about a week, then dies. And if in the time after it's warm, one day is cold, it freezes itself and dies. It doesn't start blooming until the next year. Which is sad. It better not get cold tonight.
Dudes, I really want to watch Beauty And The Beast.
I have to read gatsby...::sigh:: no more journaling. Good bye.
-patrice
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 18 April :: 7.41 pm
Ticks In The Swamp
So Jill and I went on a field trip today. To the lake swamp area by my house, it was fun. We took pictures and such. Then we had to go see Spencer, who was parked in the worst place possible, so we couldn't just turn around...nooo...we had to walk right through the swamp to him. ::sigh:: Oh well.
Then I found a tick on my arm, but it wasn't deep in my skin yet, so it's all good. It was kinda gross when Jill's mom took it off and it danced and ::shudder:: Oh well. Lol.
So yeah, we washed off our feet and went in the hot tub. It felt nice.
And I just ate dinner and I'm now sitting here, realizing I smell of chlorine and swamp water. I should go shower and check my hair for more ticks. I hate ticks. But it feels like I'm back in good old north carolina. Wooo. So to my shower. Good bye.
-Patrice
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 17 April :: 1.56 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Tiny Dancer
I'm glad yesterday is over. Today isn't amazing, but it's not yesterday and that makes me somewhat happy.
I got the pictures from turnabout developed. If your name is Jill, Jackie, Ashley, Corny, Hul, or Wender you can see them if you really honestly want to. Other then that....ewwww. I wore *pink*....::shudders:: Never again, no more pink.
So, wanna hear a funny story? My sister's a senior right? And she got asked to her junior prom and she was all "oh next year when I get asked again...." Blah blah...but no one has asked her yet. And she's probably not gonna get asked. Which makes me smile. I know it's mean, but it's the first guy-ask-girl dance that she won't be asked to and it's her senior prom. I feel kinda bad at the same time, because if it was my senior prom I'd be pissed, but I don't know. She had it coming. That's all I'll say.
I'm supposed to be leaving the house today. I'm looking forward to that. Unlike Jackie says, I need to be busy. Last weekend's laying on the couchness almost killed me. So I think I'm gonna go take a shower...I'm still finding woop chips in my hair.
Remind me to tell you about my dream if you care, it was nuts.
-Patrice
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 15 April :: 8.57 pm
:: Mood: Ahhh
:: Music: Hanson-I Will Come To You
I don't want tomorrow to come. It's freggin friday, it's not supposed to be stressful. But I have two big tests that I am going to fail and the stupid light thing and that stupid contest, which I really just don't want to do. I don't mind band, it's right after school, but damn orchestra....damn damn damn damn damn! Ahhhh! I quit. yeah. I quit. I didn't want it anyways, you can have it.
They don't need me. No one needs me. I'm ok. Blaaaaah. ::screams::
It seems so earlier not being at crew. I kinda like being home. It felt good, even thought I got barely anything done. Oh well.
I have to go bull shit a half a page on the mood of the lighting in this stupid picture, then answer the history things, and then make a notecard, then chemistry, then shower, then die.
Then be up so I can be at school by 6:30, cuz of my damn sister. :-P Fun. Poo heads. I'm going now. No more disturbing you. Good bye.
-Patrice
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 14 April :: 3.23 pm
:: Mood: rejected
So usually my two horoscopes are so far from me and each other it's funny. But today it was weird. They're too much alike...it's hauntingly creepy.
Horoscope #1!
There are two distinct voices coming at you today. One is enticing you to dance -- and we are not talking ballroom dancing. We're talking the dance of relationships. This voice is encouraging you to move out beyond yourself and to have fun with someone else. Meanwhile, there's another voice telling you not to make any sudden moves and to stay within your own internal fantasy world where it is safe. Safe, yes -- but it is also lonely.
Horoscope #2!!
You're torn in two directions -- you want people to know who you are, but you also don't want to call too much attention to yourself. Are you a poet or a comedian? Only you can decide.
Well, Don't take them completly literally. I don't know, I see connections. Oh well, I'm one of those insane people who find meaning in anything super natural.
Blah blah blah. I quit, it's too hard.
-Patrice
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 11 April :: 10.15 pm
:: Mood: lonely
Yeah, I'm all alone. It's not a bad thing entirely. It's good to be alone sometimes. you think about things, you know?
I just haven't talked to anyone other then Jackie all day, which isn't bad either, because yeah, I never get phone calls and that was exciting.
I just wanted to go online and see if pple were online to talk to, but my computers screwed up, my dad's blocks every pop up, so I can't do aim express so I'm mad. Grrr. That's me mad.
I figure that no one would be online if I went on anyways. And because I'm not there, people will be there to talk to. It's just the way it is. Lol.
I should just sleep. I didn't eat sugar before bed. My mom's gonna have my liver. Okay, to the sugarific food then to the sleepage. Night.
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 10 April :: 6.15 pm
:: Mood: Sick....again
:: Music: Beatles
Blah
So if I ever tell you I'm too sick to eat, make me eat something, ok? I guess a mix of being sick with a cold and a stomach thing then not eating any meals for 3 days caught up with me. Yeah, this morning (well, 1 pm) was bad. I'm kinda happy though, cuz I just might be able to get out of church. I know, twisted logic but it works. Hehe.
My sister's funny. She makes me laugh. She was telling me how her friends go up to her and say "Your oldest sister is so hot, but your other sister, she's kinda mean. I don't get it." I don't know, I think its funny cuz I've never really talked to any of her friends before. And the people her age who I have tell me I'm alot nicer then her, so it makes me laugh. So according to the stereotypical 8th grader who only looks at appearances, ugly means evil. Hence, I am oh so mean. :-) And "hot" means they're nice. I'm not saying pretty people aren't nice, but stereotypes like that just amke me laugh.
Hmm...I'm bored. I watched White Oleander again today. I really like that movie.
last night we saw the prince and me. It wasn't a bad movie, just very...sameish..as all the other movies like it. Ah well, it was fun.
Yeah food. I need to eat. I really do and I have to force myself to eat with the family tonight. It's gonna suck. :-\ my dad's already flipping out and telling my mom to take me to the hospital. He's an idiot. Oh well.
Ok then. To the..ummm...not doing anythingness.
:-( bye..
-Patrice
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 10 April :: 12.28 am
:: Mood: Nothing
I don't know what to say. I want to write until every last bit of thought is let out of my head and I have nothing left to think about and I can just sit back in peace and not have to think ever again.
I don't know what I'm thinking. Everything's moving too fast.
I need to get away.
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 8 April :: 11.49 pm
:: Mood: annoyed
If a life goes down a toliet, it comes out in a river and meets the sea.
Poooooo. Lol.
I have Jupitor stuck in my head.
Nachos I had for dinner aren't liking me.
My head hurts.
My dad's a jackass.
My dad's making me wake up at six am so we can "talk" because I didn't call him the second I left crew.
There was this weird pressure change in the hallway by Jill's locker today.
I should go get my phone from my room.
Those girls at the restaurant were creepy.
David was an idiot to get in the car with them.
My brain hurts. Too much thinking.
I like water. Good stuff.
I get my braces off in two months maybe. Woo.
My cat lost some weight. Now she's about the size of a volleyball instead of a beach ball.
Are volley balls and beach balls the same thing?
I want two different colored eyes. That'd be nifty.
I'm a bad friend/daughter/sister/person/whatever else you may call me.
I screw up everything. No matter what I do, it's not good enough.
I feel dirty and sawdusty. Damn crew.
I finished three of my four main base coats on my paint project.
I did the stone, just have to highlight. Base coat of the wood and the wallpaper. Go me.
I set the curve on the 1920's test.
I have a math test monday that I don't understand at all.
Why am I worrying about this now? I still have 3 days to come to terms with future failure.
I love you all. Every last one of you are amazing people. There are some crappy people in this world, but you guys make up for that crappiness. I love you all!
Thanks for listening to my random train of thought.
Good night.
Patrice.
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 7 April :: 10.43 pm
:: Mood: sick
Bah
Arrrgh! I know, every entry has been about sickness, but I want to complain. So here I go. I've been sick with this damn cold almost a month. And my mom refuses to take me to the doctor and she gives me medicine that was prescribed to my sister and that scared me. So I'm taking it and this is the second day and I felt sick to my stomach and my head was killing me all day after I ate breakfast at panera..and finally after school I felt better...still cough but no stomach and head. Then I ate chips and M&Ms and the same thing happened...and it sucks. Because my mom thinks
A) I shouldn't have caffeine or sugary things anymore, cuz my body can't handle them
B) I'm having an allergic reaction to the medicine
orr C) I am getting sick again, except another sickness while I'm still sick with this one.
POOOOOOOOP!!!!!!
I'm sorry, shouldn't be complaining. Some people are worse off then me.
I've got rehearsal tomorrow. And crew. Crew isn't bad, I'm just dreading rehearsal. i suck at this whole correcting people thing and telling people they're wrong and just basically I suck at asming.
Anything I do for that matter. Let's make a list...ok?
1) ASMing...just go to one rehearsal and you'll see
2) Bassooning...lost my solo...turned into a duet...now 3 bass clarinets and 3 tenors play with me...can't even hear me anymore. It's crap
3) Dealings with people, I have no people skills. It makes me mad.
I could go on, but I don't feel like it and I'm tired.
Okie...Night people.
-Patrice
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 5 April :: 10.18 pm
:: Mood: drained
No one updates anymore. Except Sandy. All the rest of you are poops. So I'm here stuck journaling to keep the masses entertained. Lol, not really. I just have no life, so why not?
I really don't have that much to say. I'm sick of being sick. And I'm sorry to anyone I talk to, patrice is in a very angry mood today. I think I've been sick for too long and it's making me just tired and run down. Which usually sets the stage for a crappy mood. I want a day off, but I just had a week off, so how does that make sense?
The moons pretty tonight. You should all go and see it.
Bah crappy days. It's almost over. I get to go sleep soon, but then I'll have to wake up again. Poo on a stick. Oh well.
2 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 4 April :: 6.11 pm
:: Mood: lazy
Today's been boring. Went to church, slept, ate, slept, finished a book, slept, went online.
Now I'm planning on showering. After I finish my application. Job this summer. :-P Why do I have to be old? This is poop. But I need money.
I made myself a new cd today. It's exciting.
School starts tomorrow. And my mom is getting this stuff the doctor prescribed for my sister and she's gonna give it to me to take, she doesn't feel like taking me to the doctor. I feel so loved right now. I'm not even good enough for my own medicine.
Ok...to the jobs and showering. Bye all.
-Patrice
Are you a purple cow? |
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