Grrrr...
Omg, this SUCKS! I was having the best two days that I've ever probably had. I mean it was soo much fun! I went to Melissa's little sister's party then we went to Bakers Square, then today we went with Matt to this beach at a navy base...hhaha! There was actual ARMY pple there!
Yeah, well, we were planning to go to Matt's after and have burgers and I was all WEEEE! So I called my dad and he didn't pick up, so I left a message.
Then he called back and was all GRRRR YOU'RE COMING HOME NOW! So he came and picked me up and yelled at me...well not yelled...but that condensending type tone he uses..about how I'm never home. Hello! IT'S SUMMER! I finally have something somewhat like a life and he's pissed.

Then I get home and the real estate agent is there and it turns out our house is going on the market in the middle of August. I am soo pissed!!!! I do not want to move! Yeah, I'll be closer to other people, but I love it here. I'm not gonna be able to get lost ont he way to Jill's house no more :-( Yeah, and then my dad told us my grandpa's not doing well and he keeps bringing up the fact that I totally failed drivers ed and is making me feel like shit about it. All that and plus a little more...Life is just crap as of this second. Eh, whatever. Life goes on.

Pain....Lots of Pain....
Pain....I'm in pain....my back and my arms and my legs and my burn...::sobs:: make it end!! Please! Spent 2 hours dancing like a crazy person at the american english thing. It was all muddy and such and I was wearing Jorie's big pants and they were all falling down and I walked back to her house after and we played in the hose..until her mommy got mad. lol. Yup.
I WENT ON A FERRIS WHEEL TODAY! WOOOO! I've never been on one before, I was scared. Then Senor Zak called me when I was high up and I was freaking out, he thinks I'm crazy. ::nods:: Oh well, atleast he knows the true me ::evil grin:: MWAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA!...::clears throat::
Well then, I am off to deal with the PMS attacks of my sister and my painfully drained out body.....Laterness!

American English!
I'm gonna go see the Beatles coverband thingie tonight! Weee! With Jorie....Yep yep. Cept it's all thunderie now....GASP! O NO! IT CAN'T RAIN! ::sob::
Ok, I'm better. Lol. Kinda madish though. Long story. But yes...grrrr.
Wow, I forgot I still had thispoem on fanfiction.net...I could ahve sworn I deleted it, I wrote it like two years ago and for a school project, so it was never meant to be good. Cuz all teachers care about is that its done..and wow listen to this review this one person just did for it like two mins ago....
"umm... wow...wow in bad not good(fyi) not all poems haveta rhyme you made it to be forced...you have no right to be writing ... you make all of us(whom are writers, real writers) be in disbelief that you can think you have talent, theres nothing there but words. anyone can put words down on paper, but it takes a real writer to put feelings and meaning into the words even it those words are made up... you have no potential in writing... please in the sake of the future find a new hobby. oh p.s. its called a disclaimer not an authers note Ultimate Fan"
So everyone, go to fanfiction.net and find this girl's work and totally bash it. She deserves it. I mean, she didn't even look at the date it was posted...Grrr neways....Evil people....I'm leaving now. Shower time. Byeness!

Blah
Darn you Jillian....Time to clean up the act up in here. I'll be a little nicer :-D :-P lol....Well then..yeah.....it's 3:45, am tired. Lol! But I can't sleep. My room's a damn oven. Make it stop! ::sobs:: neways, I want to dye my hair bright redish kinda. Wouldn't that be awesome?? I think so.
I messed up my pants today. I cut off the waist band and the hem and I wrote song lyrics all over them. It was fun. They look ultramafic too, I'm proud :-D...anywaysness...
::singing::Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly, all your life you were only waiting for this moment to arrive! ::bows::
I got Rubber Soul! The beatles album thing and its an actual black huge disc thing, its Amazering. I was freaking out. Hahahahaha.
Anyways, I need to say good bye to my friends(Justin...woooo one whole friend! Hahaha) And sleep. Cuz the world is spinning around in circles. HAHA! Not good. Anyways, see you all laterdates....Blackbird fly!

I'm Back!! Wooo!
I'm finally back from vacation! A week in the woods of Wisconsin. 'Twas mucho fun, but I sure am glad to be home. I really wish that I could have done more stuff outside, but my sisters and our friends wanted to beinside the whole time and watch TV. Which anyone can do at their home but whatever. I'm just the follower. Not that I want to be, but I've allowed myself to become one. Well, atleast the people who have known me since I moved here know me as that. And some of the new people. But there's a few people who don't look at me as a follower, and even though I get mad when I act like a follower and don't think for myself, it makes it easier to be me around them. I'm not living up to their expectations of me doing whatever they want me to. And I just can't stop being a follower to those who have known me as one for a while. Cuz I used to think like "No one likes me, so I have to do whatever my few friends tell me or they'll hate me". My one "friend" even forced em to buy a bag of lollipops for her once a week. She was evil. I'm still friends with her though. weird, eh? But yeah, I can't not be a follower to people who know me as a follower because the part of me that is the follower is the part of me that they became friends with. They won't like(and don't like...trust me I've tried this theory) when I try to think for myself and do my own thing.
Wow that was a weird train of thought. Lol.
Something else that's been bothering me. I don't know if I want to write about it here but all I'll say is I'm dissappointed in myself. I'm too damn shy. Atleast with people(guys more like) that I really do like. It's the one situation where I WANT to be the follower. Because how do I know if he likes me, or if he even wants to see me? I don't, and i think I make it rather obvious that I like him, so he shouldn't be as shy as me, right? Yeah, only in my dreams. Remember this all you people out there...it's true...opposites do attract and usually those relationships work out better. But you can still go for someone who's not opposite, but it's much harder. Especially if you're both shy. Because, well yeah..obvious things. I guess two outgoing people wouldn't have as many troubles, but that's just me. I don't know, this is too confusing, I'm going to go unpack now. Later.

:-\
Well, he called. Talked for about 20 minutes before he had to go. Then I figured out why I'm going crazy, well part of it atleast. You see, I haven't thought or used my brain since school got out and now my head is full of sh^t and useless stuff and everything's going away. So Mel asked me what 2356/67 was, and I figured it all out in my head. Wooo, excitment! 35 r11! That made me feel better. Also only three more days until Harry Potter and a week and three days until vacation....woooo! You see, I need change in my life. When things r always the same i go NUTS. That's why I want my mom to take me to the fabric store...I need to get the pattern for my dress I'm making. 'Tis an Eowyn dress :-D
Yeah, i was going to use one pattern but then I realized it has princess seams and I'm like :-\ me?? In princess seams? Haahaha, So either i just want one piece in the front and 2 in the back(forget what it's called) or darts...::shrugs:: I'm still using the same sleeves I think though, because they're "almost perfect" even though they're too squareish in my mind, but whatever. I'm gonna research the sleeves I think, now THAT'S EXCITMENT...oo shush, don't make fun. It's better then wasting away playing solitare...

AHHH!
Ok...Woooo, Calmness is good right?? Well Let's take this oppurtunity to say STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE! Grrr! What the hell is wrong with me?? I don't know, I feel so weird, like happy but GRRR and I'm soo confused! Why can't the freggin world make sense?? I can't even make sense of my own feelings, much less the world...Grrrrr...Not the day to get on my bad side if you haven't noticed.
And and and...my friend from out of town was visiting and she imed this girl who's like best friends with my bf..and she's like "yeah, tell me a funny story about Toki" and so she's like "Well I saw her and her bf holding hands at the mall, i laughed..Hahaha" and then I asked her what was so funny, but she wouldn't say. I mean, isn't it normal to hold hands with ur bf? Or am I in some kind of time warp here? GGRRRR BAH TO THE WORLD! My dogs smelling the door, gotta let her out before she messes on the floor..:-P

Confusion
Yep, confused. So many things are running through my head at once. I'm like perfectly content, but I'm also freaking out on the inside....like O.O...AHH! I don't know.
I wish there was a way to get those annoying thoughts that never leave your head away. They're annoying, you try not to think them but it's impossible, it's kinda annoying.
Like, "I know he hates me" and no matter how many people tell me I'm overthinking it, it still won't leave me alone.I'm convinced that I'm the biggest bitch in the world. I mean, who'd want to go ut with somebody like me? I'm a horribly mean person. Especially when I'm nervous, which I'm always nervous around him, I say things that are so unlike me in my mind, and everything I say or do is so bitchy, I don't know. I think he hates me.
Eh, whatever. Life goes on.