chain-wolf
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2005 4 December :: 11.14pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: Mudvayne - Patient Mental
Hope
Havn't really had anything important to update this thing about in a while now. Hm. Don't even know if I still have anything important to go on about. Since there is like... what maybe two people that read this? I think. I don't know. XD ...
It's sort of pointless repeating things that have been said, ect ect. But this is more of a space to let my thoughts run since I've had time to think or something.
...
First off all I want to get this off my head.
Christmas time. Bleh. Every year since dad married Robyn, they've gone over to Robyn's sisters house Christmas day. I usually have to go to that. I don't see any of her family much the rest of the year because I don't fit in with them. And they are a pretty close family, always doing shit together. Let me see.. there is...
Justin and Sonya. (Justin is pretty cool. He likes to snowboard.)
Mike and ____ whatsherface I forgot. Lol.
Deloris and George.
Charmein.
And then the three babies.
Add Robyn, my sister, and my dad.
That's a lot of people!
Since I don't see them often I don't want to expect gifts from them. I'm already unstable on the subject of recieving things from people. I don't like getting gifts. Because I either can't or don't give back. I knows its Christmas and they probably consider me a little bit family but still.. I don't spend enough time with 'em to get anything. So this year I'm not going to go. And I'm not accepting anything from them. Though I can't seem to bring up the courage to tell my dad and step mom this decision. Oh well....
Blah blah blah. I just want a relaxed christmas this year.
I'm thinking of just staying at my moms. Waiting to see my dad.
I don't know why.
Anyway.
In other news.
..So Dai's calls me up one night. Completely trashed I might add. I wasn't feeling too happy that day. But when I saw the name on my cellphone I smiled. To say the least that entire conversation was fucking funny. It made my day.
When she first said that she wanted to come spend christmas up here I was like holyshitnofuckingwayomfg. Then I was like wait.. waitwait. She's been drinking! And then that was beat down once I realized she was serious.
I'm still sitting here... shocked, for lack of a better word. I always thought it would be me going there, and a few years later. But apparently her sister said she'd buy her a ticket or somethin'. And I'm like.. O_O;; Eeee!!!
OH so fucking excited at the mere thought of her coming here to visit retarded 'ol me.
So I hope her mom's not a cunt and lets her come visit. I'm reallyreallyreallyreally hoping she can.
Cause I need a big hug. :)
End.
In The Face.
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jaganshi
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2005 25 November :: 2.13pm
There used to be a girl on this site who used the handle "Porcelain."
I miss her. She was cool. Every time I log on and think about how much respect I had for her. Unfortunately, her mother found her blog and she had to leave us. Then her journal was wiped out in the Great Deletion of Unpaid Journals.
Well, Porcelain. Here's to you, wherever you are. I haven't forgotten.
4 PWNED |
In The Face.
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jaganshi
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2005 25 November :: 1.59pm
Proof that I'm becoming an elitist condescending adult:
Every time I see an entry on a weblog that looks like this:
"oh man why cant i just have love but no one will love me becaus i suck and there's no way anyone can love a thing like me because i suck and everything i do cuz i have no worth and i should just die becaues n oone cares and ill never ever be loved and i'm so alone and theres no hope for me cuz no one understands"
...The first thing I want to do is look for the person's age. It could be the bad grammar. It could be the lack of capitalization or punctuation. It could be the lack of specific explanations or thought of any kind. But the main thing is, I doubt the maturity of entries like this. The people I've kept on my friends list use proper English, and sometimes proper French or Japanese as well.
The other reason I doubt the maturity of these bloggers is that, yes. I'm like everyone else. If I'm supposed to believe that someone who's never worried about the cost of food or where they'll be living in a few months' time has problems worth reading, I want to read some kind of actual justification. Just because this is the internet doesn't mean you're excused from actual communication.
In conclusion: Quit your bitching or at least start bitching in a way that makes people believe your problems have some relevance.
This time of year I'm thankful for a lot of things. I'm thankful that no matter what has happened to me or is likely to happen, my problems will still never be that bad. I look at victims of wars, diseases and natural disasters all over the world and see that it can always be worse. I have it pretty damn good, and so do most people who live in an area where computer access makes blogging possible.
2 PWNED |
In The Face.
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jaganshi
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2005 25 November :: 1.57pm
I'm getting my WIS teeth out over winter break. As a result, my mother wants me to plan to be totally incapacitated for two weeks. This is the royal edict. This means I cannot plan to go to Brian's house over break. Why can't we just see what happens and maybe I'll be able to do it? Fantastic question! Because! My mother is buying me plane tickets. She will be doing this within the next day or two. This means that she'll be buying me a ticket back to Indianapolis. This means that the Fords couldn't drive me home to Indy without wasting a perfectly good plane ticket.
This all has one grand implication. I stay with my parents and endure not only oral surgery but four weeks around them, or else be a selfish ungrateful bitch for not wanting to be away from Brian for that long. That's what it means. And there's nothing I or anyone else can do about it.
In The Face.
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chain-wolf
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2005 16 November :: 5.08pm
:: Music: My Dying Bride: She Is The Dark
The Words Flow In Rivers Of Confusion...
...
Another entry for the day. In case you feel like reading some poetry.
I wrote these. They almost seem to be subtle echoes of each other.
1st: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/25323767/
2nd: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/25324806/
In The Face.
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