::
2009 23 November :: 12.52am
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: BnL - Barenaked Ladies are Men
hi journal. it's been a while.
umm... so. i'm just waiting for this cd to burn, and then i think i'm going to bed. i have to get up at like seven, so i'd like to shoot for around 6 hours of sleep anyway. that would be nice.
so, it turns out i'm waaaay waaay below the poverty line, so not only could i have been collecting welfare this whole time, i also qualify for deferment on my loans. but since my first payment is due in less than a week, and there's no online application, i won't have enough time to mail my application in and get it processed before my payment is due. so, we'll see what happens.
might try and call shannon tomorrow so i can get that damn coffee thing out of the way. not really looking forward to it at all, but maybe i can nab a few cigarettes out of the deal, and maybe she'll finally leave me alone after. that'd be swell.
so i found out that my gig on the 18th is at the eagles club in grand haven. first rehearsal is on the 2nd, somewhere in holland. i also got the set list. thankfully i'm at least somewhat familiar with most of it... even played a few of the tunes before. but here's what i have to spend the next three weeks learning:
867-5309 / Jenny.........................................Tommy Tutone
An American Girl..........................................Tom Petty
Back Door Man............................................The Doors
Brown Eyed Girl............................................Van Morrison
Can't always get what you want.....................Rolling Stones
Crazy little thing called love...........................Queen
Evil Ways.....................................................Santana
Fire............................................................Jimi Hendrix
Fly away.....................................................Lenny Kravitz
Gimme 3 steps............................................Lynyrd Skynyrd
Gloria.........................................................Van Morrison
Hard to Handle............................................Black Crowes
Hey Jealousy...............................................Gin Blossoms
Hoochie Koochie Man/Bad to the Bone...........Muddy Waters
I Feel Fine..................................................Beatles
I wanna be sedated.....................................Ramones
Keep your hands to yourself.........................Georgia Satellites
La Grange..................................................ZZ Top
Long Tall Sally............................................Little Richard
Money.......................................................Barrett Strong
My Generation............................................The Who
No Matter What..........................................Badfinger
One after 909............................................Beatles
Please Please Me.......................................Beatles
Pride and Joy.............................................Stevie Ray Vaughan
Revolution.................................................Beatles
Roadhouse Blues......................................The Doors
Road Runner.............................................Bo Diddly/The Gants/The Who
Rock & Roll...............................................Led Zeppelin
Satisfaction...............................................Rolling Stones
Sweet Home Alabama................................Lynyrd Skynyrd
Tina Marie................................................Kenny Wayne Shepherd
Twist and Shout........................................Beatles
What I like about you.................................The Romantics
Young Blood............................................. Bad Company
it's a pretty interesting mix, i think. should be fun. and i hope there are drink specials. because that's what my life seems to have become.
in other news, i've been told in no uncertain terms that i have to move to a big city if i ever want to have a career in audio. and i gotta say, it makes a lot of sense.
The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.
The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).
Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.
My 101:
De-Cluttering/Organizing/Practical 1. Replace pictures in frames around the house
2. Get wedding dress cleaned and boxed 3. Organize the den 4. Get rid of old clothes that I haven’t worn in 1+ year 5. Back up files on the computer(s)
6. Give away three items on Freecycle 7. Take one full carload of stuff to Goodwill
8. Shred old documents and set up a better filing system
9. Have a garage sale
Relationships
10. Get a new address book- update, add anyone I am missing, add birthdays
11. Send out greeting cards to at least 8 people/families each for 4 holidays other than xmas 12. Actually throw our belated housewarming party
13. Send someone a surprise "care package" for no reason 14. Email or call Grams at least 1x per month 15. Make two new friends 16. Celebrate a random anniversary with Paul
17. Have a baby (I have, like, three years, right?)
Giving & Community 18. Volunteer for a charitable organization
19. Make a loan on Kiva.org 20. Donate to a cause
21. Give a 50% tip for service well done.
22. Pay for someone’s meal in the drive-thru behind me.
Going Without
23. Go one month without buying anything Made in China
24. Go one month without eating any fast food
25. Go one week at work without using the Internet for anything non-work related 26. Go one week eating only at home (including no take-out/pick-up), or with food brought from home
27. Go one week without spending any money. 28. Go one weekend (from Friday after work through bedtime Sunday night) without using the computer
29. Go one weekend (from Friday after work through bedtime Sunday night) without watching any TV
Health & Nutrition
30. Weigh the same or less than I did when I got married 31. Shop for fruits & vegetables at farmers market 32. Go for a walk (20 minutes or more) every day for one week
33. Go one month without drinking soda 34. Work out at least 2x per week 35. Go to bed by 10 PM every night for one week
36. Take vitamin every day 37. Try a new fitness class 38. Buy a Weight Watchers cookbook and start cooking better 39. Join a gym
House & Home 40. Make ten new dinner recipes 41. Purchase something from a local crafter/artisan that I would otherwise buy from a mainstream retailer
42. Have the hardwood floors refinished
43. Plant trees and vines in the back of the yard
44. Paint the main level of the house (or get it painted)
45. Put crown molding in the bedrooms
46. Build a headboard for the bed 47. Plant a vegetable garden
48. Buy a new vacuum
49. Buy a new washer and dryer
50. Redecorate the kitchen
51. Complete the landscaping in the backyard
52. Paint the windmill in the backyard
53. Complete an insurance inventory for the house
54. Put a new floor in the kitchen and entryway
Finances
55. Increase savings by $4,000.00
56. Sell something on Ebay
57. Buy some more stock 58. Increase income by $20,000.00
59. Eliminate all consumer debt
60. Increase 401(k) contributions to 15%
61. Create a will
62. Create and stick to a monthly budget
63. Put $5 into said savings for every item I crossed off and then do something fun with it at the end of 1001 days.
64. For every item on the list not completed at the end of the 1001, donate $5 to charity.
Personal/Professional Growth
65. Finish my CEBS credentials 66. Finish PHR designation
67. Start work on my MBA 68. Get promoted
69. Start building a real professional wardrobe
70. Start pursuing my resume writing/critiquing business
The Arts 71. Go to a show at Miller Auditorium 72. Go to 2 concerts per year
73. Go to a touring production of a Broadway musical
74. See a concert in another state
Travel 75. Visit two states I haven't been to before (actually spend time- not just drive through)
76. Travel to a country outside of North America 77. Visit Traverse City
78. Visit Mackinaw Island
79. Go on a road trip 80. Go to Vegas
81. Take a cruise
82. Visit Mom/Dad at least 2x per year
Hobbies/Leisure/Random
83. Go camping 84. Buy a new (used) car
85. Go to a drive-in movie
86. Buy a drink for a stranger 87. Go to a Red Wings game
88. Take a dance class
89. Go to an ethnic cultural festival 90. Buy a case of wine
91. Take a cooking class
92. Take another personal interest/leisure activity class
93. Learn how to mix a signature drink
94. Try ten restaurants that I haven't been to before
95. Go rock indoor climbing
96. Publish a secret I have on www.postsecret.com
97. Register a dollar on wheresgeorge.com
98. Color an entire coloring book
99. Learn origami
100. Go roller skating again
101. Get someone else to do 101 things in 1001 days
Job did it better...
The friends spend 7 days sitting on the ground with Job, without saying anything to him because they see that he is suffering and in much pain. Job at last breaks his silence and "curses the day he was born".
-Last part-
Job, confident of his own innocence, maintains that his suffering is unjustified as he has not sinned, and that there is no reason for God to punish him thus. However, he does not curse God's name or accuse God of injustice but rather seeks an explanation or an account of his wrongdoing. Job does question God.
-Again, last part.-
God's speech also emphasizes His sovereignty in creating and maintaining the world. The thrust is not merely that God has experiences that Job does not, but also that God is King over the world and is not necessarily subject to questions from His creatures, including men. The point of these speeches, and ultimately the entire book of Job, is to defend the absolute freedom of God over His creation. God is not in need of the approval of His creation. He is free. Furthermore, Job's lack of knowledge and the ability to see the world as God does prevents him from fully understanding God's reasons for allowing Job's suffering.
-Grand scheme/Divine Plan, aside...how about some 1 on 1 talks? Aye?-
I dont find myself to be a religious man, as I see things for what science suggests unto me. Sadly, I question why things are like they are. I read sure things and add unto what reason I already had.
Though I find myself in a similar situation, however little it may seem. Job was a prophet renowned for his endurance (assumed to be of pain and suffering).
Ill take more pain. Ill deal with more suffering. In return I would at least like my chance to question that which is, but isnt.
Where does a man with no dream or ambition turn? Im at the end of my rope here. Thankfully I havent tied the knot on the noose.
The only woman I truly cared for, I have abandoned and cut myself off from. I shift away from social life. I continue to disengage my what one would call friends. I try to keep my mind from doing ration things like thinking about my situation.(This is becoming increasingly more hard) I hide behind walls...yet...I have pride. I have morals. I have eyes that see things that others cannot or choose not to. Then, I have sanity. It slips away more swiftly now.
So ya. Job did it better.
I should really look into getting therapy or some fucking happy pills.
::
2009 18 November :: 10.09pm
:: Music: 3OH!3- Starstrukk
'Cause I just set them up/ Just set them up/ Just set them up to knock them down
Nice legs, Daisy Dukes,
Makes a man go (whistles),
That's the way they all come through like (whistles),
Low-cut, see-through shirts that make ya (whistles),
That's the way she come through like (whistles),
'Cause I just set them up,
Just set them up,
Just set them up to knock them down,
'Cause I just set them up,
Just set them up,
Just set them up to knock them down
I think I should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out,
Now,
L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce,
How do I say I'm sorry 'cause the word is just never gonna come out,
Now,
L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce
Tight jeans, double d's makin' me go (whistles),
All the people on the street know (whistles),
Iced out, lit-up make the kids go (whistles),
All the people on the street know (whistles),
'Cause I just set them up,
Just set them up,
Just set them up to knock them down,
'Cause I just set them up,
Just set them up,
Just set them up to knock them down
I think I should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out,
Now,
L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce,
How do I say I'm sorry 'cause the word is just never gonna come out,
Now,
L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce
Push it baby, push it baby,
Out of control,
I got my gun cocked tight and I'm ready to blow,
Push it baby, push it baby,
Out of control,
This is the same old dance that you already know,
Push it baby, push it baby,
Out of control,
I got my gun cocked tight and I'm ready to blow,
Push it baby, push it baby,
Out of control,
This is the same old dance that you already know
I think I should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out,
Now,
L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce
Current mindset
Kill me if you dare
Hold my head up everywhere
Keep myself right on this train
I'm the Underdog
Live my life on a lullaby
Keep myself riding on this train
Keep myself riding on this train
Love in technicolour, sprayed out on walls
Well I've been pounding at the pavement
'Til there's nothing at all
I got my cloak and dagger
In a bar room brawl
See the local loves a fighter
Loves a winner to fall
Feels like I'm lost in a moment
I'm always losing to win
Can't get away from the moment
Seems like it's time to begin
Kill me if you dare
Hold my head up everywhere
Keep myself right on this train
I'm the Underdog
Live my life on a lullaby
Keep myself riding on this train
Keep myself riding on this train
It don't matter
I won't do what you say
You've got the money and the power
I won't go your way
And I can't take for the people
They don't matter at all
And I'll be waiting in the shadows
'Til the day that you fall
Feels like I'm lost in a moment
And I'm always losing to win
Can't get away from the moment
Seems like it's time to begin
Kill me if you dare,
Hold my head up everywhere
Keep myself right on this train
I'm the Underdog,
Live my life on a lullaby
Keep myself riding on this train
Tell me if you're down
Throw your weapons to the ground
Keep myself riding on this train
Paper on the wire
Sold your soul for another one
Keep myself riding on this train
Keep myself riding on this train
I am unsure if i am going to support the ufc as much as i have after that horrible decision vic for couture, shit is bullshit. Vera won the fight hands down. shit is retarded and frustrating.
::
2009 31 October :: 6.31pm
:: Music: Flobots - Happy Together
Update to an old song
Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night
It's only right
Ta think about the girl you love,
and hold her tight.
So happy together
If I should call you up
Invest a dime
And you say you belong to me
And ease my mind
Imagine how the world would be
So very fine
So happy together
Imagine me and you
I do but I'm thinking too much and I'm studying
how they toss the dice
it had to be simpler back in the day when our folks were
pretty certain they would find someone
now none of it's assigned
we just want a date
whether deaf or blind or dumb
I look at your number and wonder if I should
call you up
or invest a dime in a message with text that doesn't
belong to me but it would
ease my mind to know if the songs I'm singin are
in a key you can comprehend
in tune with the thoughts you're pondering
if so we can both stop wondering if and
be together like Donner and Blitzen
but all reindeer games aside
it's like right when you came here, I came alive
it's like everything else was a glipse of you
giving hints and clues of where your name resides
now that I've found you it's changed the vibe
shattered through all the blame fear pain and pride
doesn't matter who calls and inversts a dime
they get a message saying we're staying inside
cause I imagine, you and me could make music beautifully
could make moves never lose the beat
I can imagine the food that we chose to eat
I see it all like a view from a movie seat
and imagine you and me
never knew that we
were never more than a few degrees
and how good it would prove to be
but the waiting is over I finally found you and...
I can't see me loving nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me
Baby the skies will be blue
For all my life
Me and you
And you and me
No matter how they toss the dice
It had to be
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together
Imagine me and you
and you and you me
no other way for we to be
toss the dice eventually
snake-eyes spells a tragedy
and I release unhappily
the magic now a fantasy
the another one for me than you
a some other one for you than me
and that's the way it has to be
an uncompleted masterpiece
deleted canvas atrophy
cut be another after me
a silent wound whose lips confess
Love's loss under Love's duress
a curse confessing hope
and then reverse the blessing emptiness
this hollow whole wont coalesce
regrets emote from hole in chest
as less remote emotions pull from
gravities growing depths
I have it easy knowing this
together we will never fit
So I'd rather bind my mind with rhymes
than blind my eyes and sever it
I can't see me loving nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me
Baby the skies will be blue
For all my life
BA PA PA PA BA PARA ....
Me and you
And you and me
No matter how they toss the dice
It has to be
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy togetherAnd I don't know and I can't think
and I'm so smote that I can't see
and I look at the picture I have in my head and
I won't doze and I can't sleep
and it's so good that I'm locked down
and your quotes get put in my thoughts now
and there's nobody else to distract me
cause you've got me on lockdown
and it can't stop and it won't stop
and we rock on leavin shows stopped
so thank you for comin goodnight everyone we're the flobots...
Pro tip: don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Hurts more.