Wicked Thoughts

Wicked Thoughts

:: 2005 4 August :: 9.03am

wooo bowling for soup in 2 days. and to grams in 4 days. and then to college and then to mike's. wooo. i look forward to the future.... lol. i can think of a few reasons to be very excited about the future. thank god mike is patient with me. lol

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 2 August :: 11.50am

i <3 not wearing clothes. and i <3 holidays, and getting to make dinner for people. he he. i should probably go shower tho, so off to get more naked w00t w00t. mikes birthday is in 20 days, i think. but i just wish i could make his birthday perfect... but i have to get ready for school. *tear* lol.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 1 August :: 11.33pm

mike's cute. i can't wait until thanksgiving.

how do you folks feel about me getting my nose pierced?

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 1 August :: 5.17pm

i still have my micheal. i adore him. and he always makes me feel better when i am sad. <3

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 1 August :: 5.10pm
:: Music: The Cars-- Your all i've got tonight

I don't need a coin operated boy...
Josie || that was the dumbest thing i've done by a long shot... i have been crying all afternoon says:
hey
Josie || that was the dumbest thing i've done by a long shot... i have been crying all afternoon says:
i was wrong
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
i don't want to lose you

You have just sent a Nudge!

mephyt says:
you haven't lost me
----------
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
i am just afraid that i am going to fall for you
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
and i don't want to get hurt again
mephyt says:
=]
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
and i miss you so much
mephyt says:
not much to miss
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
says you
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
alot to miss says me
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
according to lever there are 2000 parts that i miss. not to mention your personality and the way you are around me
mephyt says:
aww
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
i could say the same thing you know. there's no reason that anyone could miss me but for some reason they always do
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
and what i said is the truth
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
i go to sleep wishing you were there, i wish i could kiss you and i wish that i could give you massages. and that's what tears me apart
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
my dad just asked if i was typing a suicide note
mephyt says:
what?
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
b/c i was typing
mephyt says:
thats damn shitty =/
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
and he didn't know i was talking to you
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
and i have been crying since the last time i talked to you
mephyt says:
why?
mephyt says:
just relax
mephyt says:
life will be ok
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
i feel better now that i am talking to you but i was freaking out b/c i was afraid that i just pushed you away
mephyt says:
why would you have pushed me away?
mephyt says:
hold on just one sec, i have to find a copy of xp pro
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
k
mephyt says:
just got my notebool
mephyt says:
er, notebook
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
yay
mephyt says:
paid about 1.5k
mephyt says:
heh
Josie || Baby you're all i need, honey that's no lie says:
fun fun
mephyt says:
oh yeah
mephyt says:
it's dead sexy though
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
i bet
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
just like you
mephyt says:
only have 275 available total for expenditures now for the next two weeks
mephyt says:
=/
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
what that?
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
oh 275$
mephyt says:
yeah
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
ic
mephyt says:
installing xp to the notebook
mephyt says:
i hate manufacturer installs
mephyt says:
heh
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
but at least you can be sexy with your sexy notebook
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
lol
mephyt says:
hah! exactly
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
i still get to be not sexy
mephyt says:
aww
mephyt says:
you are too sexy
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
thanks for the gratification on that
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
aww
mephyt says:
hehe
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
not sexy enough for you tho
mephyt says:
!!!
mephyt says:
grr. you're hot, chicka
mephyt says:
shaddup ;)
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
make me....
mephyt says:
:P
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
;)
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
i like it when you shut me up....
mephyt says:
hehe
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
i have to go buy grocery's tho
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
have you looked into me coming to see you?
mephyt says:
i checked up on my miles, have about 2k so far
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
idk what that means.
mephyt says:
in a month i should be able to fly you back and forth from anywhere in the us for pretty much free
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
lol
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
well, i was going to tell you that if you don't come home for thanksgiving i should just go and spend it with you where ever you are
mephyt says:
works for me, i'll be in an apartment by then, and have my own room
mephyt says:
would be grand
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
woohu
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
i got my phone # to my dorm, but i will give it to ya later
mephyt says:
ok
mephyt says:
i'll brb, need a smoke and some mountain dw
mephyt says:
er, dew
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
if you are in kenosha tho... my room is in denhart hall
mephyt says:
cool
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
i have to go get grocery.s ttyl
mephyt says:
later
mephyt says:
feel better!
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
i do
mephyt says:
:D
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
*kisses your cheek*
Josie || romeo had juliette and juliette had her romeo says:
i miss you kid
mephyt says:
ditto, young one

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 1 August :: 12.35pm

i am such a fucking bitch
i just told him that i don't want him around. i just killed anything that was there because i am afraid that i will wake up and say i love him and hate myself for it. maybe in my heart i already have. i am so scared because i want to be with him, but it's so obvious that there is no way that can ever happen. i didn't want to get hurt, and i just fucking killed myself. and there isn't a damn thing i can do to fix it.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 31 July :: 1.05am

so i have decided that i am scared shitless of flying, and so i will not see mike before at least thanksgiving, mainly because i am afraid of having to fly for my first time all alone. eeks. and i really miss him :(

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 29 July :: 9.26pm

i hope you all like me with short hair, because i am cutting it off tomorrow. bwahaha

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 29 July :: 1.59pm

so i am thinking of liz phair, and mike and ask him if he makes love cause he's in it. he says idk, i've never been in love.
the boy calls my too often but not enough. i'm worried that i'm going to be in love. mom says that it is going to be really hard to detach from him because we've had sex. why is this happening now? it's the question on both of our minds and we seem to ask it too often lately. hmm. anyways. i keep running this in circles.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 29 July :: 9.08am

i can't properly take back what i said.... what i said in my lament is very true, but we are becoming closer. he wasn't drunk, he called and said the offer still stands, but it cannot be next week b/c he is sleeping on someones couch. I might go stay with him in Seattle instead, that way we can see each other before i start school. he was planning on waiting until like november to have me stay with him, but that could only happen if i stayed with him at thanksgiving instead of coming home. i don't know why i am so afraid to love him. he couldn't sleep so he calls me, and we talk for half an hour even tho he had to be on a flight at 4.30am. and he didn't call until far after midnight. i know we have each other but i can't have this happen right now, i want to wake up to him every morning and all i can do is wait silently until christmas, or some vacation every year, and just sit this out for four years. the whole menegerie seems impossible, but i already found a ring i want him to have and i pack down the cases each day looking for a wedding set. i want to get married. it seems too early to me, but you know the only real problem that we have is that we are too far apart. he still tries to call everyday, and the idea that i will give him a massage, even if he is too tired to do anything but lay on the bed makes him so happy. i wish i could record every conversation that we have ever had and put in a box to listen to over and over, because he says too many things that i love, or makes noises that i enjoy far too much because i know that i make him happy. i have disarmed him, and he has disarmed me. it all seems so impossible. *sigh*

oh yeah, he is taking me to a shooting range, and teaching me how to shoot people hunting weapons. yay. LOLercoaster.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 28 July :: 11.51pm

this is my lament...

i thought that i could be everything for you, and i got let down once again.
i am not going to bring you happiness, because i was not put here to be your toy.
happiness fades, so does joy, and even if you call i know that you are just like every other boy... and i was wrong.
maybe someday, you can look back and see your mistakes, and i won't shed a tear, i won't add some light to the situation, because my candle has burnt to the end, and i still lay here alone... with no word from you, and no hope to be in your arms.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 27 July :: 12.03am

i don't understand what the hell i ever did to crystal but she needs to leave me alone. i never have done a damn thing to her. i hate her, i want her to get the fuck out of my life. i never did anything to her, and she has the audasity to call and wake me up and start swearing at me when she's probably all drugged up. just go the fuck away. don't swear at me unless you have a good reason and don't make me get up just to sit here and cry because idk what the fuck is going on.

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joslyn_julia

:: 2005 26 July :: 10.04am

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MIKE IS GETTING ME A PLANE TICKET TO FLY OUT AND SEE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YAY!!! and he told kerry that i am the perfect girl *eeek! i get giggley inside when i think about that moment!*

so, that is about all of it, but i thought you guys would be interested. I think it is very possible that in four years i will be getting married maybe not to him but then again, maybe to him....

oh, and how do you kids feel about a pool party?

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