:: 2003 19 June :: 11.07 pm

im burnt.

do u love life?

:: 2003 19 June :: 4.30 pm
:: Mood: not sure

wow lotsa things goin on right now. but im lovin the job. its so much fun...i luv old ppl. today (actually in about an hour) i got to work their annual picnic. the theme is western so of course we gotta do the whole western thing lol, thatll be interesting.

oyea - i also took a reading placement test at mcc and the results were really good. which kinda makes me feel better considering that i totally sucked on my ACTs and MEAPs.

i got my report card....ive definately seen a better one. at least i didnt get bitched out tho. it seems like my parents get mad at me these days for the dumbest things and then they try to pull the "o we hate being mad at u" thang, but wahtever.

*sigh* so yea...life's been complex. but it'll get better...i need to remain optimistic and then it'll all be good.

*sigh* whatever. but im off to find western clothes...latas.

do u love life?

:: 2003 4 June :: 11.15 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: "poor some sugar on me..." - hey its a good song

1 people love life | do u love life?

:: 2003 4 June :: 12.01 am
:: Mood: relieved

well exams are finally over. i had two take home exams: dovick (which was a total joke) and brit lit - which was a lot harder than i had originally thought. i know i failed my govt exam - i didnt have any time to study for it and walked in there not knowing what the hell i was doing. spanish i got an 80 which is really good for me - im satisfied. my grade in spanich is now a A-. as for trig, well i spent a grand total of maybe an hour - b/w yesterday and today trying to teach myself the shit that my teacher should have taught me...needless to say, im not very confident about that grade - it was ugly.

my physical for work is tomorrow. that wont take long. im totally ecstatic about this job. it just suits me so well, i love being around people...ezp old ppl and the fact that the pay is good and the hours are short - just make it better. im excited.

a friend of mine wrote this. it really makes ya think...

UNTITLED

once again she crumbles. once again she crumbles. the earth beneath her is unyeilding as reality strikes another blow.

time is forgotten it is as if she is frozen here forever. vulnreble living her worst nightmare or so she thinks.

memories flash in her mind as oblivion begins to settle in. weightless, floating, bliss. the pain just given no forgotten.

no longer must she live in the torment reality had dealt her. but once again, as always. she must awake and her daily war begins again.

SrS

but yea im out - cya

3 people love life. | do u love life?

:: 2003 30 May :: 5.19 pm
:: Mood: dont know

well the sanocki project is officially over - we all got a 97 on it. but lena has to do an additional assignment for cheating.

school is officially over - all we have left are exams. two of which are take home - but for the lit one: i forgot to bring my posters hime and for the religion one: i threw out the ?s for the paper.

graduation is sunday. *tear* it saddens me.

george has been bugging me to hook up with a friend - which i dont think i want to because of how my past relationships have gone...but i dunno.

oyea - i got that job. they called not even 2 hrs after my interview. i only work 10hrs a week and get paid $7.50 an hr. it'll be fun.

im out tho - latas

1 people love life | do u love life?

:: 2003 29 May :: 1.49 am
:: Mood: tired

well its almost over. we presented today and didnt do quite as badly as i thought but we didnt do great either. we still have yet to1) get our final grade and 2) see how sanocks is gonna deal with all the complications surrounding our project. *sigh* it will all be over soon...

today was the meeting at mcc about college classes in the summer. of the 3 psych classes offered only one isnt full yet - which just happens to be the only psych class that i dont need for my degree...how lovely.

i was elected treasurer for our senior student council. i havent decided yet as to whether i have proven that one doesnt need to bribe ppl w/ candy for their votes or whether ppl just dont really like lena. o well im kinda glad thats over with too.

not to mention im sick...or so i think. ive slept so much lately its just unheard of. and the thought of food nauseates me. im always tired, my whole body aches, im cold one second then sweltering the next, and my head is just pounding. i just need ot get better....

i have an interview tomorrow at the nursing home. i really hope i get this job - i think it would not only offer me insight as to whether or not i wanna do this with my life, but i would enjoy my time there. wish me luck!

2 days left of school - exactly 13hrs and 40 min left of school if ive kept track accurately - god i cant wait til its over.

well - im out like a fat kid in dodgeball - cya

4 people love life. | do u love life?

:: 2003 28 May :: 12.54 am
:: Mood: bitchy

yea im updating - ive gotten some complaints....

first off this whole econ project is pissing me off. (for those who dont know - our econ project is to basically create a business- ver very thorough). my group consists of me and 2 other girls: lena and sarah. from the start lena told us that it would be difficult for her to do research and stuff because she has soccer practice and choir - which is fine, we all lead busy lives. so we try to accomidate her by giving her simple research to do online. but day after day she would give us excuses for not doing it. now i have her sn so i know that she is online a lot. but we would get tired of hearing her excuses and then just do it ourselves. this is how its been for the last several weeks. 2 wks ago when i knew that lena and sarah would be in town, and were not busy, i invited them over to work on this. lena made up some bogus excuse and so me and sarah ended up working an entire nite on this thing. well needless to say we did the majority of it. the only thing she had done was type up something for me. so me and sarah offered her many chances but no, all we got were more excuses (they werent even good ones either - she used soccer for a while but that didnt work to long cuz we found out that she'd been skipping practice to work on a "econ project" - hmmm really). but me and sarah got really tired of this. so i approached sanocki and, w/o using any names, asked him if one person in our group slacked off, could it have a detrimental affect on our grade...his answer "possibly". well that nite he approaches lena, and tells her she needs to do more for our group. she gets pissed and bitches sarah out. to get back at me, she changes her student council ballot to treasurer to run against me, because she thinks that if she beats me, it will be the perfect revenge or somehting. anywaz, we all agree to meet at 7:50am on the morning it is due to finish putting the thing together. well, she doesnt show up til the beginning of 3rd hour - when it is due. needless to say me and sarah were pissed. so after talking extensively about this, we decided to go to sanocki - a lot of ppl suggested we do so also. so we go to sanocki, explain the whole situation to him and then go through our binder and label who did what. now basically sanocki told us that we would have to be graded individually on this - which isnt a problem for us. well... he must have had another talk with her cuz the next day she was all gung-ho on working on how we were going to present this. neither me nor sarah wanted to screw her over, so we decided to give her a chance. well, to make an extremely long story short, the only day we were able to practice for our presentation was memorial day - so we go over to her house, only to find out that she had taken our binder out of sanocks class, after we had turned it in, and had thrown out half the stuff we did and replaced it with her own! we were pissed. we think she's setting us up because she erased all the initials off the stuff we had done and now it looks like she did more than we did! this is a bunch of crap - and we present tomorrow! i think our presentation will be good but i emailed mr sanocki and told him that we would like to meet with him tomorrow morning - so i hope that goes over well. she is not gonna screw us over on this.

but anywaz we have 2.5 days left of school. i have 3 exams to take and 2 take home exams which will still be challenging.

*sigh* why does life haveta be confusing and so complex?

yea but im out - ive been really bitchy lately...i have an excuse tho... and i need my sleep - i think im coming down with something....

do u love life?

:: 2003 4 May :: 3.16 pm
:: Mood: kinda sad

well prom was a lotta fun yet it seemed way to short.

we have 19 days left of school. seniors have 3. gosh that is so sad. i mean like what are the chances of seeing some of them after graduation? they'll all go off to college and in annette's case back to germany. i know that i'll keep in touch w/ jami - but still its gonna be a lot harder. *tear* im gonna miss all of them.

7 people love life. | do u love life?

:: 2003 27 April :: 12.06 am
:: Mood: tired

got back from rainbow auction - lots a rich ppl w/ money to throw around. i didnt see andre- he was supposed to be here. hey andre - rememebr the bartender last year? he was asking about u - he rememebred us. but i drank about 10-11 grenadine drinks so i kept him busy. but im out- cya guys lata!

4 people love life. | do u love life?

:: 2003 22 April :: 10.34 pm
:: Mood: irritated

there is nothing more frustrating than searching for something specific online and not being able to find it. i have seriously spent the last hour and a half looking for an article to no avail. ahhhh its so obnoxious!

2 people love life. | do u love life?

:: 2003 22 April :: 10.30 pm
:: Mood: depressed

i have 7 days to attain 10 service hours for NHS.

1 people love life | do u love life?

:: 2003 18 April :: 2.59 pm

i got advice from a friend about this whole prom situation:
"i think the only thing you can do is explain to them that you're looking out for your friend, and if they can't understand that, then there's nothing you can do 'bout that"

im sry i cant change the way ppl think. but im sticking ot my decision.

9 people love life. | do u love life?

:: 2003 18 April :: 2.36 pm
:: Mood: confused

*sigh* there are a lot of ppl pissed/irritated at me right now. its because of the whole prom thing. im sry - i value my friendships and i cant do something that i know could jeaprodize one of my friendships. im sry nick.

we had that career day thing yesterday. im even more confused than ever. i thought that i wanted to go into social work, but now im not so sure. i really think cosmetology would be fun. ive loved to do ppl's hair ever since i was lil. also i talked ot some guy about the air force academy. thatd be interesting too. they pay for all ur college, ud get benefits. there are so many different opportunities in the airforce. also, u can retire at age 48!!! (u cant be in the air force for more than 30 years)

*sigh* but ya. my life is a sea of confusion. there's so much i dont understand. like y we carefully plan out our lives as nothing goes as we had planned....? i forgot the rest.

but we're gonna be gone to relatives all weekend so i'll talk to ya guys lata.

2 people love life. | do u love life?

:: 2003 12 April :: 11.26 pm
:: Mood: not sure

*sigh* i luv babies. me and manda spent the past couple days w/ pam and cindy and their kids, (who are absoluitely adorable). its not as much work as one may think. but both pam and cindy agree that being a teenage mom is very rewarding. so ha - screw u dovick. the only thing i noticed tho was that there is very little free time. but i luved every second of it.

i made dinner tonite - tacos. o yea, i also made a cake today too. and to think that some ppl dont think i can cook - sheesh.

i heard somehting very disturbing from my mom - she saw it on the news. they were not very descriptive at all. all i know is that 2 teenage girls lost control of their car and hit a tree. both died. cops believe that drugs and alcohol were factors. thats so scary - it wasnt that far from home. also its like the 3rd accident in the past 2 weeks. come to think of it - i havent heard about ashley's condition recently. i knew that she had 6 surgeries the day after her accident. and that both her legs were broken and she had a shattered ankle and that, but i havent relaly heard much lately - w/ it being sb and all. shes probly still in her comatose state...omg tho - i saw her car. they had to use the jaws of life to get her out - it was a sickening site to think that someone was in there. *sigh*

drinking and driving is never good and i got a cocky ass who thinks that it wont hurt him. he thinks hes lucky. i just hope he is tonite.

1 people love life | do u love life?

:: 2003 6 April :: 11.09 pm
:: Mood: relieved

well i fought w/ my mom today. it was pretty bad. i said some things that i regret. but i wrote her a letter w/ all my feelings in it. i wrote about everything. about how despite how hard i try, i can never get good enough grades. how i need a good job. how it saddens me that a friend is moving - even tho it'll probly make their life better. how i dont want to go to college. how i never talk w/ her anymore. how im so frustrated w/ life. and u know what - she said that she totally understood. that i didnt have to go to college if i didnt want to. (even tho its inevitable if i wanna move on w/ my life). just everyhting. how friends trust me w/ their deepest secrets and how they are alwaz in need of advice. and how sometimes i dont know how to respond cuz im in the same situation. overall - we settled our differences. so i guess that is start of hopefully a better relationship.

1 people love life | do u love life?