LOVE. . . I'm crazy in it.

:: 2006 7 February :: 9.43pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: No doubt - foxy foxy

WEEEEE!!
No school.
Still pain.
Went with Alaina.
Got fuccckkkedd up.
ate at long john silvers.
came home.
did english.
Aim.
now bed.
nite!!

We're knocked down and getting up
We try to fight it, the agony and ecstasy
and Its painful but it's worth it
'Cause you're so foxy and I think you're kinda good for me
oh You're so foxy

Mental earthquakes, conversation mistakes
and My army of words
I can't believe you're crawling back for more out of desire
Destiny or chemicals, emotions are susceptible
And you I can't resist
I can't seem to walk away from this
So show me how much you can take, are you in or out?

:: 2006 6 February :: 10.48pm
:: Mood: pissy
:: Music: coheed & cambria - welcome home

2-6-06
absent x dreams: earlier u told me u were done with me..
LiLJy18: because you had given up
LiLJy18: but now your back
absent x dreams: yeah im back
LiLJy18: i noticed
LiLJy18: what is it you want
LiLJy18: and i dont meen from me
LiLJy18: what do you want out of your life
LiLJy18: out of this world
LiLJy18: this simple exsistence
absent x dreams: i want to succeed

what the hell am i supposed to say

then he went rambling on about what i want in life and what i succeeded and what didn't i succeed and why.. i dunno fucking retarded so i gave him answers but obviously it wasn't good enough cause he asked "isnt everything you failed on worth more then the things you gained"... umm ?!?!?!?! *grrr* so i asked him to tell me why hes asking me these things and i got the response..

LiLJy18: maybe one day youll understand and i wont have to
LiLJy18: and if you dont
LiLJy18: then such is life

..blah BASTARD..

anyways...
today was my first day back at the hellhole since lastweek i only went thursday lmao.. i got used to a vacation hehe. but i did have a 2 hr delay wooo but only got a half hour of sleep outta it.. arg!! but yea..... and also tonite i poured out my heart to isaiah.
i wonder sometimes how he feels; and is it the same way?
i don't know what i would do without him seriously..
i'd give up everything just to stand beside him
gosh am i a loser? errrr

love you.

:: 2006 6 February :: 9.47pm

You're hot.

6 . | comment.

:: 2006 5 February :: 2.44pm
:: Mood: HUNGRY, rawr
:: Music: HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GOOOO..PITTSBURGHS GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL..

Saturday Nites=<3<3
just got home alittle bit ago, figured i would update lol.

lastnite i went with this girl stacee to the mall and wal*mart and she dropped me off at home bout 6:00pm. and as i got in the door Gered calls and i seen on caller id that he called like 9 times.. lmfao. and he was like 'WHERE R U?' im like 'uhh home?!' and hes like ' WELLLL WERE COMING TO KIDNAP YOU RIGHT NOW SO GET OUTSIDE!' and i said 'welp.. i'm not ready i look like shit aha' and hes like 'yaaa ok, whatever!! get outside!' so ya i went to his house to drink and plus it was Fat E's birthday ... well all got trashed outta our minds and were being so fucking goofy it wasn't even funny.. well it was funny LOL!. Gered got sick bout 2am so he passed out in the bathroom and paul left so it was Stevie (girl), Derek, Fat e, and I. we were all in Dereks room smoking, drinkin, talkin and what not. and then i woke up at 7am and was like 'whoaaaa im sleeping by derek and stevie and fat e is on the floor by me' lmfao IT WAS INSANE! everyone was layin on each other AND STEVIE HOGGED THE BLANKETS! lmfao. (love u girl) but yea my nite was pretty amazing.

:: 2006 3 February :: 9.35pm
:: Mood: IN PAIN!

...
Yeah...i only went to school 1 day this week; and that was thursday =P..

damn kidney infection..=(

i swear i'm falling apart!! seriously what's next. errr

:: 2006 2 February :: 3.54pm
:: Mood: WOWZERS
:: Music: IM IN LUV WIT A STRIPPPPPPPPERRR

!!!!!!!!!!!!
today was my first day back to school since last friday; lol.. whoa crazy.. i would have never thought in a million years anyone would miss me.. but they did.. hehe!! and my day went okay and got even better when my good ol friend autumn told me that she SWEARS ON HER LIFE THOUGHT SHE SEEN JORDAN! (my ex bestfriend) my mouth dropped and she said hes gettin enrolled.. she described him to me.. and it fits the figure! OMFG IM SO HAPPY even though we havent talked.. i miss him and hes still my buddy..always and forever <3.. but yea that was my highlight. YaY. but yeah lastnite i got my nails done and went to my aunts and to the mall and what not so it was cool.. nothing to exciting except me tormenting my friend gump; hes such a cry baby. LOL!!

:: 2006 30 January :: 7.18pm
:: Mood: sick/sore/sleepy
:: Music: ME COUGHING

sick as a dog.. RUFF RUFF
yeaaaaah how bout i'm terribly sick.. bad sinus infection that is messing with my joints and what not so i'm like sore as all hell.. the doctor SHOVED A FUCKING TUBE up my nose.. IT WAS LIKE A FUCKIN HOSE!!! #%@!..those bastards.. but ya my friend Gered took me cause hes a sweetie!. and then we went to pick his brother up from school (were i should have been, hehe) and then we went to chill at his house. BUT if i didn't go to the doctors i would probably be even more miserable and top of that wine and cry lol like a little baby that i am. but yeah so no school tomorrow for me just like today :).. so yeah I HOPE I FEEL BETTER DAMNIT >_<

:: 2006 29 January :: 7.21pm

I need a laptop computer. Really bad.

:: 2006 28 January :: 11.16pm

CRAZY AS FUCK
lastnite was crazzzzy. i went to jenas 18th bday party and i got fucking hammered.. i swear i'm never drinking again Lmao. (yaa rightttttt) but anyways i had fun.. things happened! lmao *cough cough* but yeah and this morning i was hungover like real bad and that never flippin happens.. fucker.. so i puked like 38948 times and my mom told me your going to be like your father i was like wtf no i'm not. but she laughed and told me not to vomit all over her car; and i made her get me mcdonalds haha. so i came hoem bout 12ish and i slept til bout 4:30pm.. and i miss talkin to ISAIAH! arg. but ya anyways.. grr NITE

:: 2006 27 January :: 4.45pm

EFC = Expected Family Contribution
Expected Family Contribution = the amount of money needed to be contributed by you and your family towards your college education (i.e. tuition payments)
my EFC = 00000

YES!!!

HAHA, it pays to be poorer than dirt

:: 2006 26 January :: 10.18pm
:: Mood: tired as fuckkk

WaS iT a DrEaM
today was retarded; just like every other day i got my report card. I did okay i guess.. 1 a. some b's and c;s and 1 d. yeah im cool *sigh* but ya that sums up my day.. and i just want it to be summer already!!!!!!!!!!! im counting the days..

oh ya tomorrow is jenas bday HAPPY BDAY JENA! lol. luv u

If this is where I'll hide
It was built deep inside
Yeah I'm a selfish bastard
But at least I'm not alone
My intentions never change
What I want still stays the same
And I know what I should do
Is understand myself
Was it a dream?
Was it a dream?
Is this the only evidence that proves
A photograph of you and I
Your reflection I've erased
Like a thousand guns I asked today
Believe me when I say goodbye forever

:: 2006 26 January :: 8.04pm

Ugh, it sucks waiting for my applications to return.

:: 2006 24 January :: 7.00pm

XBOX 360?

How did I miss versions 2 through 359?