LOVE. . . I'm crazy in it.

LOVE. . . I'm crazy in it.

:: 2006 22 January :: 7.10pm
:: Mood: sore
:: Music: Twiztid - darkness

lastnite i went to Gered's. i didn't think i was going.. cause i thought he blew me off since he was supposed to be here anywhere from 8:30-9:30. it was bout 10:10 when he called.. so yeah He wasn't supposed to have a party
but he did anyways, so i was like whoaa. We all got trashed.. i didn't even know wtf was going on. Even though i remember EVERYTHING. And something happened that reallllllly shouldn't of have =); but that would have never happened if 'she' wasn't there..~~stupid hoe~~. but yeah overall i did have a good time; i called Alaina and was like 'you need to get here, everyone wants you too' so she did.. she came bout 3am and we both left at 5am. Went to Mcdonalds since Wendy's wasn't open (fuckers) haha. and we got breakfast.. you know ate, was goofy, played in the playhouse thingy! then we just went back to her house and ate some pizza and fell asleep. Today we just drove around alittle and she brought me home. SOooO now i'm just relaxing thinking bout how crazy my night was and what to do and at the same time i'm pretty fucking tired and alil hungry. EeeRrr.

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2006 21 January :: 1.44am
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: ICP - homies

=]
Just got home; i was with Gered all night basically. :) had a nice time... i needed to do something since lastnite my mom and step dad got into it.. err. wasnt to pretty; but when is it ever?. tomorrow well i should say later on today i think im going back to Gereds to chill and party! wooooweee* hes such a sweetie. but yeah anyways im outtie!!

go steelers wooooo

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denation

:: 2006 19 January :: 7.29pm

Sorry to say, but don't expect me to be at Burger King for too much longer.

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TheEdgeofYourAtmosphere

:: 2006 18 January :: 8.04pm
:: Mood: tired

been staying home past 2 days; no school. went with gered the other nite.. had a nice time:: today i went with alaina since i didnt go to school, we took a ride and then went to mikes and drove around.. got high, ya that how ordeal lol. i just woke up alittle bit ago... ate and went to sleep, hehe. and i really dont appreciate my friends 'talking' to my ex boyfriend.. kinda i dunno PISSES ME OFF. but yeah. me and him are still yet not talking and todays his 19th b-day so i told him happy birthday.. but we didnt talk, =\, oh well!

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denation

:: 2006 18 January :: 11.11am

So basically, I'm expected to get as close to a free ride at GRCC as I could possibly get. I will have to have some money to pay for books and other things like that, but all of that can come out of my MEAP money. But yeah, everything is gonna start happening pretty soon so I can start taking some classes this summer. As for WMU, I will have to take out some student loans. He expected me to have to take out at least $10,000 worth of loans to pay for what my aid doesn't.

I'm applying tomorrow.

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denation

:: 2006 17 January :: 5.58pm
:: Mood: conflicted
:: Music: Wasted - Carrie Underwood

hook, line, and sinker
The only sure feeling I have right now is college.

Other than that, I'm a mess.

This certain fish in the sea has her own hook.

EDIT: I need to get away, plain and simple. I need to move myself into a totally new environment. I know college will help me with that, but I think that to completely make myself content, I need to move away from BK as well.

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denation

:: 2006 17 January :: 8.55am

damn freezing rain...

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2006 17 January :: 12.22am

i went with gered and his brother today job searching.. well they did not me and then we went back to there house to chill. i had a nice relaxing time..

then i get on AIM and me and jason get into it. and i mean like hardcore. what an ass. i was called a whore and pathetich and stupid and etc.. i dont feel like whipping out the convo, ive cried enough.

fuck it; fuck you.

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denation

:: 2006 16 January :: 6.56am

The main thing that really sucks about opening is that you wake up at around 6:30-7:00 on days you don't have to work. Grr.

Well, I have a meeting with Mr. Walker on Tuesday to go over all of this college stuff. I'll be at the school at around 8:30 and be there for about two hours. Fun, eh?

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2006 15 January :: 10.35pm
:: Mood: tired

Orgy - eva
me and lai woke up at like 11:30am.. got ready went driving around then went to see her dad for a bit.. then to wendys for food. yummmm.. i was supposed to see jason today but that didnt fall through. i hope to see him soon =\. alaina also let me drive alittle, WHOA WATCH OUT! LMAO. no but it was cool =). but ya thats my exciting day.

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2006 14 January :: 2.20pm

wtf wtf wtf
i hate finding things out..

I was being a bit nebby today and i came acrossed jasons myspace account.. so you know i happened to look in his inbox and sent messages.. and theres this CUTE LITTLE ASIAN GIRL with hardly any clothes on saying 'hey baby, i think your really cute..i came acrossed your myspace and i would like to talk to you so heres my AIM .......' and etc i dunno, wtf? and he REPLIED! saying something like ' ya i think your cute to heres my AIM ........ and hope to hear from you soon' OMFG im so pissed im supposed to go see him sunday and i dont wanna tell him bout the message i had seen..cause he will get so mad at me. but yea wtf? not like my hearts already broken.. i mean its just been thrown on a cutting board and stabbed a few times.. but I WILL BE OKAY! UGH.

it would have been ok if she just sent that and he didnt reply or he did reply and just say ok? hi. BUT NO HE MADE IT LIKE HE WAS INTERESTED!!!!!

:(:(:(

UPDATE

Just got home alittle bit ago.. me and lai went driving around :). thursday and friday nite i stayed at her house and now shes stayin at mine til monday, woo woo. we went to get Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers. like everyday :P and then we stopped up at my friend gereds house there was supposed to be alcohol lol but u no how it is when parents and friends wont buy it. so we stayed for awhile and left.. man i didnt no people could be so drunk. haha. then we took a cruise through b-ville. and got a drink at subway cause were cool and it was freeeee. but ya good nite!!!! :):):) tomorrow im SUPPOSED to see jason but hes being a queer so i dont no if it will fall through, i just MAY hang out with someone else. so yeah go me?

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denation

:: 2006 12 January :: 7.04pm

I need to get out sometime soon. I need to go somewhere that is not my house or BK. Who wants to go do something with me tomorrow night?

Edit: I finally talked to Maria again, after all this time. It was great too. She's coming to GR for spring break, and I told her we'd have to hang out for a while.

Another Edit: I've been reading about college so much lately, I pratically have each class I want to take memorized. Although I just read that I have to study up on basic algebra and arithmetic before I take my placement test. That should be FUN! (*cough*bullshit*cough*)

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2006 12 January :: 2.56pm

You're so predictable no shadow of doubt
when you are suffering know who sold you out
Fuck your opinions
Fuck your lack of spine
When you are miserable
Know that I'm just fine

You go solo
your faggot rainbow
your junkie ego
won't save you this time

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2006 11 January :: 10.41pm

dont stop get it get it. LoL
welp today when i came home from school; i layed down because i have a migrain.. i wasnt so smart today in school, so since i have been down in the dumps alittle i took a break off of my xanx bars and decided to take some vicodine along with aderol (sp?) so yeah, i wasnt the sharpest tool in the shed.. i felt awful. but alaina and mike showed up and they got me out of bed to go with them to drive around and what not.. we smoked alittle and drank a beer or 2. so we just chilled.. i didnt eat anything ALL DAY. so i was sick to my stomach.. after we hung out i came home and i felt like i was going to litterly collaspe. but i guess i will survive HAH! anyways. yeah me and lai are chillin like villians on penicillin cause i dont have school fri or mon. YES GO ME WOOO. so who knows what the dickens we will be up to; im also supposed to see <3jason. but i wanna see jon also. heh i dunnnnnno

everything is so NOT EXPLAINABLE!.
i seriously dont know how to feel anymore.

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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2006 10 January :: 6.40pm
:: Mood: Blah

I realized odds and science are against me
I wish I could give you what you're looking for, but I don't know what it is. There's a part of you that you keep closed off from everyone, including me. It's as if I'm not the one you're really with. Your mind is on someone else.

I'm figureing out that i must not be the material that you need; and i'm not up to your level, honestly it hurts.. but i guess it's how it has to be and something i have to deal with.

I really do miss you..

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