LOVE. . . I'm crazy in it.

:: 2005 5 September :: 4.48pm

let's see... taking words from anne and allison, im in like with someone... big like

6 . | comment.

:: 2005 4 September :: 3.35pm

today was a hard day, except for five minutes of it that were great

3 . | comment.

:: 2005 3 September :: 1.47pm
:: Music: Remedy - Seether

ever since that day, i've developed this bad habit of overthinking everything that happens. every action, every word, every response. and that's what complicates things. that's what creates doubt.

but i wonder... should i rely on my instincts and just "go with the flow" for a while? or take the risk? it's either go for it or just play it safe. and stop overthinking, haha. at least i know how i feel, and that won't change.

i've also noticed that people's personal lives (along with the drama) always get dragged through burger king like a wet mop. i need to be careful, haha.

3 . | comment.

:: 2005 2 September :: 5.32pm
:: Music: Mr. Brightside - The Killers

well, finally!
after all this time, I finally have a woohu again... thanks to anne of course

4 . | comment.

:: 2005 30 August :: 9.41pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: MSI - I'm your problem now

day number too.
today was my second day! it was okay i suppose i wasnt so left out at lunch today, i sat with my friend jon so it was cool, people seem to be talking to me more. and im like so happy! but tomorrow is another day blah!!!! but i could never forget or let anything take place of my old friends, ever!

TODAYS DERRICKS BIRTHDAY! i wish i could see him. but i no hes having fun! i just hope i get to talk to him b4 i go to bed. hehe so special D! LoL

1 . | comment.

:: 2005 29 August :: 9.53pm

first day
today went ok, it was my first day at Ringgold.. i met some new ppl some were very nice;others where snobby.. just like anywhere else.. everything seems to be okay though, i mean i just dont like sittin in lunch cause the ppl i DO know dont have lunch 10 with me.. ya lunch 10 ITS A BIG ASS SCHOOL ugh im not used to that shit. but ya my schedule isnt that bad at all like i i thought i was and complained bout, haha. heres my day and what i have to look forward to everyday,. ugh

Fine Art 1.
Bio2
English 11
Gym
American Cultures
American Civics
LUNCH , my oh so fav class
Refresher math (LoL)
Consumer math (lmao)

WOO..

TOMORROW. hopefully is better i mean were gettin assigned seats in most classes.. well the ones we didnt do today anyways also books.. WTF more books blah! I COULDNT FIND MY LOCKER FOR THE LONGEST TIME! lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!! 665, one more & it woulda been 666. wooooo omfg.

1 . | comment.

:: 2005 28 August :: 12.32am

can u see right through me?
SOo yeah, i havent updated in awhile to keep everyone posted, so heres what i have to say --

i got my schedule done for school monday (yikes) & i hate it... also i got my hair dyed a light brown no more blonde highlights THANK GOSH! hehe.. i went to the mall with this kid named josh, it was pretty rad.. hes a cool kidd-o!, ohhh i'm done with all my school clothes shoppin for atleast a month, LMAO; ATLEAST! LoL.i've been going to work with my mom to try 'n' make some tips for school. tim is TRYING to talk to me again, well ~~was~~ i kinda told him to fuck off! woowee. i'm still nervous bout this school type deal, ugh! but i have to get brave! PIISHH. im such a wimp. =]. and yeah thats basically it cause im a fuck. <3

I'd love to be,
The shoulder that you cry on.
I'd love to be,
The friend you call when things are great.

You're the dream that hasn't ended,
And I'm still anxious for rest.
Your words they seem to hang above my head.
You're the bud before the flower,
Unfurls into full bloom.
Captivating beauty,
But it maybe all too soon.
You're the song that writes a story,
But leaves a lot to read.
The closest thing to perfect,
But the farthest thing from me.

And like I really deserve a chance to,
Sit across the table,
And tell you that I think you're wonderful.
And I think you're something special.
I guess this is my only chance to,
Say I wish I knew you,
Because I'm sure you're wonderful,
If I'd get to know you.

1 . | comment.

:: 2005 23 August :: 1.08am
:: Music: MSI - Tight

well nothing new has happened.. i mean same shit different day!! i start school monday and i have orientation today at 10am. YAY wtf.. gay gay gay.. oh i met someone newwwwww hes really cool <3.

:) yup

2 . | comment.

:: 2005 22 August :: 2.30am
:: Music: die die die die die

eww
i found out ringgold starts school NEXT MONDAY. wtf $#@%#@%@#$@ thats bullshit. =\. and i love it when fat muthafuckin ppl IM ME AND WANT TO 'CAM' WITH ME.. no fuck that EWW SICKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS. ugh

i dont know what to write about im just pissed bout school & GROSSED OUT about some slimeball IMING ME.

perves; get the fuck outttttt

:: 2005 21 August :: 1.48pm
:: Music: Hawthorne Heights - silver bullet

lastnite we had a scary thunderstorm *shakes* i liked it though..

kinda peaceful except the fucking power went out. *GO FIGURE* ugh.
kelly came and picked me up so we went to the mall; she got an outfit for school.. its really cute. school starts on the 29th.. which is alo my ex-bfs birthday, OH YAY! grr.. a new school and all kinda sucks.. i wont be used to it.. this school im going to is big, im used to lookin out the windows and seeing cows and tractors and people smokeing.. now all ill see is a highway and a big ass FIELD for track and football.. ugh. i guess its kinda cool in a way cause i will meet new people. BUT YET ITS SCARY! hmmmm. my Ma' is picking me up today when shes done with work! =] i think kelly is comin over later as well. so hopefully our power is back on. *yikes*

so buh byes my loves.

:: 2005 20 August :: 2.30am
:: Mood: tired

shop til u drop,muthafuckaaa
i know its early, but i am going school shoppin today at like 10am lol. yeah so i gotta get my new gear for this yr. WOOWEE i love going shoppin.. and plus im going to a new school so i gotta look good lmfao.. yeah right! i dont need to impress anyone, fuck it. but its so funnnnnnn :) all the girls and some guys know what i am saying, dontcha?! hehe. so figured id right bout it and i will update this entry later sayin what i all got and what else has happened throughout my dayyyyyyy.. so ta*ta

Scarecrow, scarecrow whats that you popping?
A powerful pill they call Oxycontin
But it'so tiny, that it got you dragging
Haven't you heard big things come in small packages
I prefer the orange's with the black O-C
Take to and you cannot move up out ya seat
Some people melt 'em down in a needle and shoot 'em up
But I pop 'em with Seroquel like glue, I am stuck

uhh yelp.. basically. =\

^^ ok so ya i went shoppin and i got loads of cool things.. bout 8 pairs of jeans, 10 shirts, socks&shoes, and also undies! hehe.. of course im not done school shoppin.. but yeah its fucking sweet.. and now i must depart because im talkin to Isaiah hes so cool. i love em'. <3<3

:: 2005 20 August :: 12.25am
:: Music: Lil Wyte - Drinkin song

ugh
well my past few days have been sweet and then again kinda hectic.. the alcohol has been in my system like hardcore, ive been chillin with my cuzs and shit.. much fun, also i went to alainas for 2 days or some shit after i left my cousins, i had fun.. we got drunk on aug. 19 2005.. and i came home tipsy my mom was laughing at me.. ya i no being drunk isnt much to brag about but its all i basically do anymore.. the other day i went to the WASHINGTON COUNTY fair.. YYEEEHAWWW! it was funnnnn, it was dom, jen, curt, gump, durbin, puckey, and yasek.. i dunno i kinda feel like im missing someone but oh well *SORRY* buttttt i saw SMOKEY the first time in forever really.. he looks ruff. no doubt on crack and shit <-- well it looks like it anyways.. HE JUST STARED AT ME.. i was like WTF? lol.. i guess one of my bestfriends (lai) is datin my ex (bruce) hmm i feel all weird.. but its cool she asked if i was mad.. and imnot mad really.. really im not.. i want everyone to be happy.. i wish NO bad on ANYONE. but i have been having a few bad days.. i dont really wanna talk about it cause its like wtf?.. ya im sure u no what i mean.. UGH FUCK IT.

I'm still here but you don't trust at all
And I'll be waiting
Love and sex and loneliness
Take what's yours and leave the rest
So I'll survive
God it's good to be alive
I'm torn in pieces
I'm blind and waiting for you
My heart is reeling
I'm blind and waiting for you

Still in love with all your sins
Where you stop and I begin
And I'll be waiting
Living like a house on fire
What you fear is your desire
It's hard to deal
I still love the way you feel
Now this angry little girl
Drowning in this petty world
Oh who you run to
Swallow all your bitter pills
That's what makes you beautiful

:: 2005 16 August :: 2.35am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Nothing but me singing

ba de dum ba ba deee dummm
can you remember chestnut street
and algae ripping at our feet?
i was just a little girl
and you were my whole world.

what i'd give to be lying in your arms,
what i'd give to be your girl again:

did you know that you were my first love?
did you know it's you i still dream of?
i've grown up a lot since then
my nostalgic heart will never mend.

what i'd give to be lying in your arms,
what i'd give to be your girl again:
(what i'd give to be your girl again)

Today, i am going to my aunts house, so yeah ill EDIT this later and fill everyone in on whats up, hahaha. this shall be funnnnnnn

oh yeah and that song is dedicated to someone.. someone who used to be my bestfriend.. ihateyou god do i.