LOVE. . . I'm crazy in it.

:: 2005 12 August :: 12.34am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Adema - giving in

boooooom
yesterday i stayed with alaina, it was cool.. we just hung out and what not with mike and shit.. then me and lai went to panatis to get a stromboli MMMM so good.. so it was nice to chill with her, then later that nite me and her went up kempers to chill with him & tim.. so that was neat-o =). me and tim didnt really talk much, but its ok.. =\

tomorrow im going back to bentleyville to chill with everyone, my cousins supposed to come home from his VACATION SKATING OPPERATION, hahaha. so we may chill with him and his friends for a bit..then who knows.. i think mikes pickin me up also. WOOWEE.

||Do you wake up and wonder where you�re really going
Retry aging in life you wanted to achieve your goals
Now confusion it lingers
Making me feel sick to my stomach
Because who knows what will happen next
I shattered into pieces in this world
I shattered into pieces in this world

this world your world my world
Confusion it lingers a fear of loathing that I regret
Because who knows what will happen next
I shattered into pieces in this world

this world your world my world
I shattered into pieces in this world

this world your world my world
What do you want in life
Who you have planned for the future I wonder does anything matter
Gives luck on the same old day out and sorrow hold on
To your gold or you�ll have nothing ||

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:: 2005 9 August :: 5.29pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Crossfade - The Deep End

Had fun like a --- muthafuckaaa
Well well what can i say about my interesting day or 2 that iv have had.. hmm:: well yesterday i slept til about 2:40 in the afternoon.. boy ol' boy was i tired! and i get a text message from Tim.. he starts out telling me hes sick and and what not so i respond saying 'aww' lmao.. ya me and him havent talked really.. and then outta the blue he texted me, it was weird.. but i liked it alot!. :):) so he tells me he will come and pick me up; so we chill for awhile and he took me to alainas. so yes i can most certainly say i enjoyed myself. woot woot.. then later on that nite we meet up with kelly to go smoke then chilled at richardson park, that was funnn. then later, later on we have a run in with mike andsmoked some more (geez talk about a pot head) wooweee.THE LATER, MUCH LATER--- me, mike, and alaina go down by my friend brights house and we see roland and all them outside, so I run up to roland and start gabbin (roland=cousin) and mike decided to leave cause hes a douche bag, hahaha JK MIKE! u no i love you.. no but forreal he dipped and rol told me and lai to stay and we got drunk and high as hell. we didnt go to bed til bout 5am i believe.. a pretty late i know. i was kinda passin out outside side by the half pipe and shit.. whoaaaaa. we had fun though, it was nice to drink and shit with lai, and actually spend more time with my cousin and some of my friends, catch up and shit u no, rols like my brother anyways haha. :). i saw MILTON FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE A FUCKING YEAR! woooooooo. this kid is so great!!! so that made it even better haha. also me and lai got shane to do his "beavis&butthead" dance. fucking kickass dude.. so yeah

i love my summer.
i just dont want it to
end..

=\

...unfortunately jordan hasnt called me yet..

i knew this would happen. :(:(

:: 2005 8 August :: 1.04am
:: Mood: sad

its hard to let go
Well yesterday nite me and alaina were attending her mothers party..
so we got drunk, haha thats attending isnt it? lol. we had fun! i mean
who drinks at 3:00pm and doesnt stop til 5:00am? usssss hehehe. so around 4:30 we chilled
out for a bit, then smoked a bowl. :D; so around 4:30pm today her mom brought us
back to bentleyville.. and i chilled with everyone for a bit..
but then jordan comes up, (i havent seen him in 4ever) and i missed him so much
..jordan used to be my bestfriend.. :(; and he stopped coming around
when he got that crazy girlfriend of his.. there broke up now.. but i garauntee
they will get back together :\ nothing i can do.. even though we parted
he will always be my bestfriend and i promised him i would be there
for him when i could. (i miss him so much). but today i saw him for a bit, then took a "ride"
and everyone got outta the car i stayed and talked to him til my mom came and until he
ate his sandwich. heh... he said we will hang tomorrow, ill call you and my remark was
"i doubt it jordan. because i really do doubt he will and if he does
that would will prove me wrong and make me HAPPY! i really hope he does..
but it was nice to be with alaina this weekend and great to see Jordan.
but now i am once again back home, sitting in my room.. thinking about everything

xox
I WISH.. i wish. :(:(

:: 2005 6 August :: 2.03pm
:: Mood: happy happy, joy joy
:: Music: Blink 182 - damnit

Booya
Yesterday Lai came and picked me up and we went to her moms.. thats where i am now!!! and were having a good time, it was nice to spend more time with her, its like we used to. we got high light nite in her moms bathroom cause it didnt look safe outside, her mom lives in the country and the neighbor has pet wolfes hahaha.. so kinda scary... so yea were dumb and took the risk! and we grubbed all nite and didnt go to sleep til like 4am which is cool; bruce called me & her lastnite on my cell.. i guess he actually shot a rag head over there and hes like scared for life. today is going good.. her moms having a party and that means us = getting plastered WOOOWEE i havent gotten smashed in forever!! so this shall be fun me and alaina drunken monkeys together hehe. so yeah thats itttttt

:: 2005 4 August :: 6.06pm
:: Mood: tired

..
Today i left Audreys and mike picked me up we had fun we went on "ride" hahahah.. then we met up with alaina and had a funfest hehe.=] i think audrey was mad especially since she hates mike and joe and they talk to me, more jealousy, hmmm. so i my picked me up fron alainas and im at my aunt missys house now. ill update later.

i just want to give up on everything, its like im not goin to be happy.. and if i am its for like 4.3 secs. ugh im sick of the lies, all the bullshit! everything.. none of it would have been this way if i didnt fuck up!!!!!

:: 2005 4 August :: 12.40am
:: Mood: amused... ?
:: Music: The Used - let it bleed

let me tell you sbout my day, hmmm
Well today my mom woke me up at like 8:30am. because she had to go up town plus we picked kelly up from *sarahs house* -ahem- so she could go home and get ready for work.. then i called audrey (cause we were chillin today) and i asked if it was ok for me to come over at like 11am.. my mom was in the area and i live in the boonies so ya it was easier! im so happy we hang out like we caught up on alot of shit to, and even no we had fun we still had alittle dilema going on about 12am. im not going to say names but people need to grow up honestly.. forget things that happened in the past. and i will chill with who i wanna chill with. -errr- me and audrey are pretty close u no. we get along, better than we ever had and i cherished today. i had a good time! but tomorrow my mom is picking me up after work which is like 4pm cause i havent really hung out with her im always running haha. so it will be nice to catch up with my mom as well.

also my ex calls me today sayin hes movin to washington and to forget about him, ya we always have are disputes but i wanna still be friends. i guess he met someone named WonNita.. ya so i dunno good luck i guess. i wish him the best even THOUGH i got treated like shit when we were together.. but i wish NO bad on anyone. so i doubt ill ever hear from him again. and someone -coughs- gave his new fellow gf my number cause she called me saying "dont ever talk to my man again, blah blah i'll cut cha" wtf? some crazy ass shit fuck that nonsense i dont play that shit!<-- i hate people and i mean i litterly loathe them so much its unbareable.

& i went to the school to get my report card cause i didnt get it in the mail (cause i moved haha) and i passed woooooo.. BUT MY MOM told me in the car she was thinkin bout sending me to Job Corps in Pittsburgh, hmmmm i dunno bout that!.

-chelle

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:: 2005 3 August :: 1.24am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Greenday- nice guys finish last

ITS FREAKIN COLD IN MY ROOM.. burr

anyways..

yesterday i slept til about 7pm. haha im such a loser.. then kelly called and wanted to come pick me up so i figured hell yes! haha and i asked her if she would run me to audreys house today.. grr but plans changed i had to help babysit like 5 kids.. it was rough a 11month old, 3, 9, 12, 13 year olds.. ahhh so stressed out dude u have no idea, err i mean i love kids.. but geez so many hehe. i had fun though we chilled and went swimming. so i came home tonite instead of stayin with kelly at her mans house and shit!.. but im DEFFgoing to audreys tomorrow. im waking up early in the morning with my mom cause she has to go into town and ill have her drop me off at her house -yay-. also i got payed 15 bones today just for cleaning out kellys aunts tub and the toilet.. WOOWEE thats alot for a little ol' job, dont u think? so i bought my smokes haha and i have 10 left. YEEHAW sorry i had to let my inner rowdyness out hehe. so until then ta*ta

-rochelle

:: 2005 31 July :: 6.57pm
:: Mood: whoa
:: Music: Tool - Stinkfist

.....
hmm lastnite i went to my aunt penes house.. then today i came from i didnt feel like staying, i usaully stay for like days at a time but i decided i wanted to come home. Mike keeps hounding me to stay at alainas and shit, i guess to smoke pot but i dont really do that shit no more, i guess cause of drug tests and shit from the court. he gets all pissy when i tell him i have other plans! omg oh well screw it. Tuesday im supposed to hang out with Audrey.. yay! i cant wait! we will have so much fun... hehe so until then goodbyeeeeeee

I'm no barbie doll
I'm not your baby girl
I've done ugly things and I have made mistakes
And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed
So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?
Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud

OMFG I ALMOST WALKED IN ON MY COUSIN HAVING SEXXXX *gasps* so gross hahahah not the fact "sex" is gross but my cousin and his gf? ewww.

1 . | comment.

:: 2005 31 July :: 6.57pm

hmm lastnite i went to my aunt penes house.. then today i came from i didnt feel like staying, i usaully stay for like days at a time but i decided i wanted to come home. Mike keeps hounding me to stay at alainas and shit, i guess to smoke pot but i dont really do that shit no more, i guess cause of drug tests and shit from the court. he gets all pissy when i tell him i have other plans! omg oh well screw it. Tuesday im supposed to hang out with Audrey.. yay! i cant wait! we will have so much fun... hehe so until then goodbyeeeeeee

I'm no barbie doll
I'm not your baby girl
I've done ugly things and I have made mistakes
And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed
So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?
Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud

OMFG I ALMOST WALKED IN ON MY COUSIN HAVING SEXXXX *gasps* so gross hahahah not the fact "sex" is gross but my cousin and his gf? ewww.

:: 2005 30 July :: 2.06pm
:: Mood: sad

::: I saw you standing alone
With a sad look on your face
You call him on the phone
Looks like he left you
Without a trace
Tears falling out of your eyes
He's living in a disguise
You've been feeling bad for so long
You wonder if it's right or wrong

Why Do You Want Him?
Why Do You Want Him?

Now many days have gone by
And you still just sit there and cry
You're feeling bad for yourself
His memory will always dwell
You're so obsessed with his love
That's why push came to shove
You've been feeling bad for so long
You wonder if it's right or wrong :::

2 . | comment.

:: 2005 29 July :: 10.42pm
:: Mood: Happy

my few days.. of wonderousness
well let me tell you about my couple few days since i havent updated.

Wednesday -- i went with kelly and her man to his house to stay.. but we ended up leaving for a reason, so we went back 2 her house to stay the nite.. so yeah. and im surprised while i was there for that short amount of time.. i didnt see smokey.. i kinda wanted 2 but i dont know why?..hmm

Thursday -- i chilled with kelly at her work.. then my mom came and picked me up and she said that we were going to my aunt penes house, which is cool i love her to death, hehe. so first she said she'd drop me off to see alaina for alittle bit because my aunt wasnt gonna be home for another hour or so.. so she went to her friends for alittle bit til then.. and me and alaina chilled.. mike was there for a bit then his dad came and got him.. i saw fitz, tj, scott, jay.. i dont associate with them but hmm they were there, lol. then lai aka - alaina, wanted to talk to my mom about her moving in with me.. for reason i rather not disclose.. so who knows where thats gonna go, but she stayed over my house lastnite! and we had so much fun even though we just chilled hehe.

Friday -- mike came and picked me and lai up from my house after he got done with work.. and he dropped us off at lindas (place wheres shes staying) but we decided to take a walk to get smokes.. but we ran into audrey, sara m, and her little sister sam & bill hudock.. so we all went to Ellsworth park to chill.. me and audrey actually were talking.. shes a cool cat i adore her.. so we made plans to chill in the near future, so then later on my cousin roland, tom, my uncle mike, jay e. and his gf also rusty, and matt b as well.. so we all chilled it was pretty funny we had some fun.. and shane showed up and i wanted him to dance for me but he wouldnt.. BAHH hehe. but my mom came and got me later on tonite cause of some shit.. but everythings cool.. tomorrow im supposed to be going to my aunts house cause shes coming to visit tomorrow for a bit, so ill go with her back home to see my cousins, friends and shit.. SO FUNNNNN!! im forreal =]

:: 2005 26 July :: 11.24pm

i got my cell phone today hehe, im so happpppppy!!

oh yeah im so fucking cool.

now all i need is a jobby job:)

3 . | comment.

:: 2005 25 July :: 9.14pm
:: Mood: amused

Well yesterday i stayed with kelly at someone elses house.. it was cool i had a good time. we just chilled like the usual! hehe. kellys got a new ride.. its fucking sweet;no lie. i love it so much. its a 2003 dodge neon. UGH i like orgasm everytime we ride in it, lol. im supposed to get my cell tomorrow.. YAY! also im going to clean my room tomorrow, and i mean actually clean.. lim a cleaning machine.. for real. i always clean and cook.. ill make a good house wife some day ;) LMAO.. yeah anyways, i saw someone lastnite as well and i didnt like what he wanted to "talk" to me about. ugh i hate "people".. in reason. bah. i cant believe school is going to be starting soon, it like ruins my day when i think about that shit. ugh. :( but thats all thats been going on, same ol same ol..im trying to look for a damn job to keep my busy, but everytime i try shit always gets fucked up.. i need the $ bad.

I CANT WAIT TO GET MY PHONE TOMORROW. hot diggidy dog. lmao

ps. I LOVE YOU JENA! lmao. ur my girl. hahahahaha ;) oh yea