LOVE. . . I'm crazy in it.

:: 2005 18 April :: 8.47am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: from first to last. singing in my head.

i wanted to be that breath of fresh air, when everything smelled so insincere.

Read more..
cmnt bishes.

later

:: 2005 15 April :: 8.32am
:: Music: brittany =)

i love sonny moore ! <3
note to self: i miss you terribly . this is what we call a tragedy come back to me ; come back to me ; to me
Read more..

:: 2005 14 April :: 8.13am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: something coporate. in my head.

grah !
got into a fight with my mom yesterday . heard her talking shit about me . she said i was a emo bitch that isnt going to do anything with my life . and then she came into my room . and i was like IM EMO AND IM NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING IN MY LIFE ! dude... most of the time im in a good mood... thats until i get home . then im a "emo bitch" so my mom would say . she dosent even know what emo means . she acts like she knows everything... at home im either on the computer ; in my room sitting on the floor blarring rock/emo music ; or out doing something . and if someone pisses me off at my house i go in my room and listen to music . it releaves me . why cant she understand that ? if there was no such thing as the music i listen to id be in a mental institution taking paper clips out of the floor trying to cut myself so i wouldnt have to go threw such things this world has to offer . i dont really use this journal for anyone to comment . its my own personal journal . and if you wanna read it ... be my guest . later guys .

ashes just fall to the ground yeah we're only ashes

Read more..

6 . | comment.

:: 2005 11 April :: 8.33am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: bloodhound gang .

=\
i dont know if i should break up with josh ; i dont want to hurt him . i wrote him a note saying if anything happenes with us i still love him . i dont know what to do . i dont want a relationship right now . its too much for me =\ gaaaaa .

Read more..

:: 2005 8 April :: 8.36am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: brittanys beautiful voice =)

im the happiest ive ever been .
i broke up with robbie . =\ and i am currently going out with Josh =) hes perfect for me . Hes like an inch shorter than me but i dont care . i'll take pictures today at lunch then i'll post them on my LJ and on here on monday . later

i freaking love you alison and brittany ; you complete me minnie mee =) hah

i'll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake

:: 2005 6 April :: 7.22am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: ruthless.

i finally know now what i shouldve known then ; and i can still be ruthless if youd let me .
Well ; my last entry wasn't exactly true . I found everything out afterschool when I went over Robbies house . Everyone's just talking shit about him becuhz thats the way he "used" to be . I supposedly changed him ; says Hector . If it wasn't for Hector me and Robbie probably wouldn't be going out right now . But anyways ; he used to be all for sex and now all of a sudden he wants a relationship with me . I'm going to believe it for now . But in the next week or so ; if he says he wants to have sex and shit . hahahaha . I'm breaking up with him . I made it totally clear for him and his stoner head to understand im not like that lol . I'm so nice I know . =) But ; everythings okay with us . Thank god ; cuhz the last thing I need is DRAMA . I'm allergic . Last night I went to work . And ; had some pretty weird conversations with Ben ; my dads friend I work with . Hes 20 . Hes like my brother . =) He's a cool kid . Well ; this a wee bit long . thanks to all you that care . i love you .

ps. i love britt (=

later

6 . | comment.

:: 2005 4 April :: 7.37am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: taking back sunday.

its times like these when silence means everything and no one is to know about it.
spring break was sweet . im going out with robbie now . i think im gunna break up with him . . all he wants is sex and reefer . and thats not what i want . he lied to me . . he said he wanted a relation ship . did he think all the people at my bus stop wouldnt tell me all the things he says ? hah . they tell me every fucking thing . he lives by me . yeah so im going to find out one way or another . i found out this morning he made up something that i said . he told his brother andrew that he asked me if we could have sex with me . and i supposedly said "yeah in a couple weeks" ?! wtf ?! im totally not having sex with him . he was probably stoned ; as usual god . i freaking want an emo guy . godddddd . i can never find Mr. Right . i think hes dead . we'll never find eachother . EVER !!!!!! heres a picture. hope you guys like it . comment and tell me what i should do . thanks

later

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

robbie .

:: 2005 30 March :: 3.28pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: taking back sunday.

of all the things we've been through
all the nasty words we said
and the making up
and the fights
and the hatred in our voices..
all comes down to what we have
and what we have is far more important than any other friendship
you know exactly what im about to say before i say it
i know you love me and i know you know i love you
but why of all people did you pick me?
me of all people?
me to tell your secrets to
me to listen to cry on the phone when your boy friend breaks up with you
even though i've made you cry and made you want die inside...
remember these words that i mean oh so truley
you are my best friend..
and you will forever be that.

i love you alison.

8 . | comment.

:: 2005 24 March :: 7.49am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: taking back sunday

its the day before spring break and i feel like shit
all i do is cry and wish things will be alright
but instead
all they do is get worse
can you picture me crying every night being depressed
sitting in my room all alone
wishing someone could hold me?
didnt think so
well this is to all those people who think my life is perfect
because let me fucking tell you something
YOUR WRONG !
i dont wish my life was perfect
i just wish things could get a little better you know?
so all im saying now is all you people that keep your crying and your feelings inside...
it only makes things
oh does it make things worse
please listen to me before........
before its too late
^i made that^

this is a taking back sunday lyric i like *down*

(well which would you prefer my finger on the trigger, or me face down, down across your floor well just so long as this thing�s loaded)

later on

:: 2005 23 March :: 7.48am
:: Music: counrty crap. wishing i was listening to rock.

i feel like shit. cryings the only thing i can relate to.
oceans to drown in; you won't make a sound in

holding tight and try not to hide how I feel cuhz feelings mean nothing now

guess which group and song these are.

later on

:: 2005 22 March :: 7.38am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: country shit in my class.

some kid sitting next to me... is ANNOYING as fuck... i thnk i made him cry lol.

i talked to chris yesterday on the phone =) then i caled jon and talked to him. i really like him oh my god. even though all that shit about him having sex with 50 girls. its true i know. but; i dont know. my dads hates him. =\ its gunna be so hard to hang out with him. =\ but i'll find a way. And chris.. oh chris. Hes fucking awesome. =) if you read this I LOVE YOU ! anyone know how to post pictures in this beast ?
go to my other journal
www.livejournal.com/users/selfish_cry_out
if you have live journal. cmnt. and i'll add you.
if your a preppy little bitch...dont bother commenting.

Later on

Don�t hold your breath because you�ll only make things worse

:: 2005 21 March :: 4.46pm
:: Music: My new Band-- White Picket Fence.

We rock hard.
you only wanted me for the simple reason
oh that one simple reason
that i had my pajama pants on
and i fell for it too
i look just as bad as you
standing in the doorway of my room

you never cease to amaze me
all these things you say
i fall
i fall for it every fucking time
and i blame myself
for letting you use me
and do the things you do
and me being so gad damn gullable

im done.

4 . | comment.

:: 2005 21 March :: 7.49am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: taking back sunday.

if im just bad news; then your a liar.

im a wishful thinker with the worst intentions.

10 . | comment.

:: 2005 16 March :: 8.00am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Taking Back Sunday- Decade under the influence

blah
im lying just to keep you here...

7 . | comment.

yourbiggestmistake

:: 2005 15 March :: 8.16am
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: Jimmy Eat World

get out of this place..

All the best DJs are saving
Their slowest song for last
When the dance is through
Its me and you
Come on, would it really be so bad
The things we think might be the same
But I won't fight for more
Its just not me to wear it on my sleeve
Count on that for sure
♥
♥