This thing called life

This thing called life

:: 2008 28 April :: 10.50pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Me - Paula Cole

fucking unacceptable.
*horrified face*

http://www.aboutcolonblank.com/pics/2340567141_ae4c7769c0_b.jpg

Anyway, I've been doing homework all day and I'll be doing homework all night. Here's the list I have to accomplish:
(By tomorrow night)
+Write a 5 page report on The Trail of Tears.
+Finish a Power Point and make connections between The Wire Road, Jesse James, Bloody Bill Anderson, The Pony Express, The Trail of Tears, weapons, and Missouri.
+Some bs worksheets for Biology.
(By Wednesday)
+Read an entire book
+Write a report about the book, and explain how it can help me in my life.
+Complete a 10 page take home test (not as easy as it sounds, no matter that I can use my book. That shit is hard.)
+Do some fun fun book work.
+Study up on Hamlet
(By Thursday)
+Another take home test
+More bs worksheets
+A three page report on Malaria

...yeah. I fucking hate school. I hate when finals are coming up and instead of giving us a list of what we need to study for, they tack on more things to throw on the test.
I just want to curl up and die.

2 Thoughts | Drop off a thought

eddy	:: 2008 28 April :: 12.50pm Today I fell and felt better Just knowing this matters I just feel stronger and sharper Found a box of sharp objects what a beautiful Drop off a thought

eddy	:: 2008 28 April :: 8.25am Sometimes I wish you were more open and clear. So I could just get past this rut and decide which way to turn... Drop off a thought

butterfly

:: 2008 26 April :: 10.51pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: So Far Away - Crossfade

Shit.
I've realized that for some reason I talk/write like I'm 12 years old and that's probably really fucking annoying. I don't know why I've not been murdered for it yet.
I swear I'm not as retarded as I make myself sound.

Anyway, for reasons unknown I'm really just pissed off. Like, I would fucking kill a punching bag right now. It's pretty weird, usually I don't get really mad, like I'm not an angry person. I don't think so anyway. I get frustrated, yeah, who the fuck doesn't? Whatever, I might be persieved as angry, who knows; I don't really concern myself with how people view me anymore, to be honest. There are certain people that I want to like me, but for the most part I've decided I don't give a shit. It's too hard to go out of your way to make sure everyone likes you.

3 Thoughts | Drop off a thought

butterfly

:: 2008 26 April :: 12.13am
:: Mood: cold

So this afternoon I decided to go hang out with mah mum cause I was bored and didn't want to do my homework (which totally needs to be done). Ashley shows up and we're just all goofing off doing whatever, following mom around as she works. Then Tessi calls and wants to know if I wanted to watch Baby's Mama with her, and I agree and tell her that Ashley's going to come too. Then Ashley decided that her friend Sam had to go. I barely know Sam, Sam and Tessi don't know each other at all, and Ashley and Tessi don't really know each other too well. Full of awkward funness.
Anyway, the movie was totally great, completely hilarious, highly recommend it to anyone. After it was over we decided to go to Wal-Mart, but Tessi had to go home because she had work in the morning.
Ashley's like totally stalking this guy, Justin, who works there and it was amazingly fun assisting in the stalking. He totally caught us though, as it's kind of hard to miss when three girls keep walking by your register giggling. Plus I kind of kept loudly whispering his name because it was totally embarrassing Ash.
I guess he's good looking, totally not my type though.
Then we was looking at nailpolish because I decided I wanted a purple color, and the woman working in that department was a super huge vagina and threatened to kick us out if we didn't knock "it" off, whatever "it" was. We were laughing and Ashley pushed me over onto my ass. I didn't break anything or even knock anything over.
She was obviously just a whore. Whatever though.

Theeeeen when we were dropping Sam off, I didn't want her to feel like an ass for having the front seat again, because she said she felt like one when she first got in, so I waited until Ashley drove away and then I climbed over the seats, only Ashley decided to be a dick and slam on her breaks so I like fly over the seats. My head is where my feet should be and ... ugh. It was hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing long enough to get myself situated and she just kept breaking and I died.
But yeah, super fun night, though I obviously missed my chance to talk to Kelly until Sunday night and only then if I'm lucky, which is completely depressing.

Drop off a thought

eddy	:: 2008 25 April :: 11.04pm I don't want to be alone tonight.... 2 Thoughts \| Drop off a thought

butterfly

:: 2008 24 April :: 2.14pm
:: Mood: dorky
:: Music: Rock N Roll Lifestyle - Cake

So, this family I go to church with is moving to Texas because of a job transfer/promotion and on May 4-8 Kim, the mother, is going to be gone to get things fixed up at their new house or whatever, so they asked if I would mind coming over after my classes and stay the night and then get the kids up and ready for school and stuff Monday through Thursday because Adam, the dad, goes to work at like 3 in the morning. So, I agreed to do it. I'm going to be at their house from like 10:00-8:00 each day, I'm only dealing with the kids for about an hour, and the rest of the time I'm like sleeping, and I'm getting 50 bucks a day = fucking sweetness.
There's Brandon who's like... 11 maybe, Josh - 8 and Bethany - 5 or 6.
The only thing that's worrisome is that I think the kids are evil satan worshipers. Seriously. Especially Bethany. She terrifies me.
Plus I'll be alone with Adam sometimes and he just creeps me out.
Whatever though, being scared of them is so worth $200.

2 Thoughts | Drop off a thought

butterfly

:: 2008 23 April :: 9.32pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Invincible - Crossfade

Random Things
1.Taylor used my sacred purple pen for nonsense and now it is dead.
2. I got out of my class in a record time of 30 minutes due to the storm going on atm. All the roads were horribly flooded by the time I got to class, and it just kept raining, so the flooding was getting worse.
3. I keep getting disconnected due to said storm and this is upsetting so I think I'll just call it a night and go to bed.
4.Kelly, you are currently set to "Busy" so I shall assume you're playing CoD4 or something. I love you and I will talk to you (probably) tomorrow. <3 x a billion.
5. Trevor and I were having an "I love you" war, in which he said he loved me more than I loved him, and then I was like, "no I love you more" blah blah blah, and then finally he got frustrated and was like, "you know what? Let's just say it's equal. Rachel, I love you an equal amount to how much you love me." It was probably the cutest/funniest things that he has said in awhile. <3 that little man.

I memorized all the words for you
But if you only knew
How much that's just not like me
I wait up late every night
Just to hear your voice
But you don't know that's nothing like me

You know I wonder how you already figured out
All these things that I try to hide
All this time I've been hoping you don't find out
All these things that I hide on the inside

I can't be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I'm invincible
You come and happen to me

I want to make sure everything is perfect for you
If you only knew
That's not like me to follow through
Maybe even give up all these dead end dreams
Just to be with you
But you don't know that's nothing like me

Hey yeah I wonder how you already figured out
All these things that I try to hide
All this time I've been hoping you don't find out
All these things that I hide on the inside

I can't be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I'm invincible
You come and happen to me

Now I'm waking up
I've finally had enough of this wreck of a lifetime
I never thought I'd survive it
Now I'm taking back
All I gave up for that
Leave my pain behind
Wash these stains from my life

Just when I thought all was lost
You came and made it all okay

I can't be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I'm invincible
You come and happen to me

I can't be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I'm invincible
You come and happen to me

I memorized all the words for you
If you only knew
How much that's just not like me

<3

Drop off a thought

Atman

:: 2008 21 April :: 7.04pm
:: Music: Love is a long road

Soul
God dammit, I said I was going to keep at this, and I took another X month break. Well whatever, I'm going to try again, if only to try to be social.

These past few months haven't felt real in the least. Its just like I've been dreaming or watching everything from the outside. Everyday at school has just felt more temporary than anything else. Its scaring me because its the same feeling I had at central my first year. Where nothing was real, and I was just being pushed through something.

I'm horribly fucked for physics. Once the professor told me not to bother coming to class anymore, I took it to heart quite well. The rest of my classes are so blah. I'm most likely doing well, but who knows? Professors don't talk much til the end, though you are welcome to go to their offices that they aren't in during their office hours. Terrific. But thats all kind of meh right now. I've been in kind of an immunity type mood for now. No idea why, but I'm not going to question it.

Went with Chris, Kevin, and Chris's friend ben out to FOUNDERS, not POUNDERS like I thought I was hearing. Whoops...
But, went out and had a pretty good time. Lucas showed up with his new fiance Heather and friend Dusty. Good times. Things got and felt awkward a bit later on during the night, but I feel like that all the damn time, so I'm sure it was nothing. Was nice to see that Finger band that Chris and Kevin assured me was on par with the second coming of christ. I hope to get out and do more shit like that in the coming months since being anti social is starting to bother me, but we'll see.

Anyway, gotta get back to work on this lab report, so you woohu kids keep...uh...woohuing it up.

Oh, and go Delpha Omega Phi!

3 Thoughts | Drop off a thought

eddy	:: 2008 21 April :: 8.31am Put me out because I'm a fucking fire. Drop off a thought

butterfly

:: 2008 20 April :: 9.07pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Better Man - Pearl Jam

I just decided that Better Man by Pearl Jam is one of the most depressing songs ever.
However, I love it oh so much, as I do nearly all of their songs.

1 Thought | Drop off a thought

butterfly

:: 2008 18 April :: 7.53am
:: Music: Cartoons

Okay so apparently we're babysitting my five cousins again, recap:
Marcus - 11 (?)
Kelsey - 8
Peighton - 6
Reagon - 5
Kendra - 4

= omg *cries*

We got them yesterday at 5:30 and they go home after church Sunday. Anyway, mom and Taylor had them all night while I was at school, so I guess they figured I could have them this morning. So I was up at 6:00 (ungodly hour for moi) brushing teeth, changing pull ups, getting them fed, putting clothes on them, fixing hair (oh so much hair), and then shoes and socks. It was so hectic. Then on top of all that, Taylor decided like 10 seconds before the bus got here that she wanted me to fix her hair too, so I had to straighten her hair, and she has a TON of hair, so that takes forever, and then figure out something "cute" to do with it.
I wanted to curl back up in bed after they left, but then Kendra woke up and so I'm awake indefinately.

I need a huge hug from a certain someone but he is oh so far away :(

Drop off a thought

butterfly

:: 2008 17 April :: 8.51pm
:: Mood: contemplative

Fall Semester
So I set up my schedual for next semester. I'll be taking 18 hours which is horrifying, but one of my classes is online so I don't think it will be as bad as I'm telling myself it will be. I have to have all the hours though, and the only way to acquire them is to kill myself by taking them.

-Monday-
+Intro to Philosophy 12:30-1:45
+Business Law 3:30-4:45

-Tuesday-
+Well... there will be a math class here, but I didn't score high enough to get into the math class that I want/need, so I have to take a little test to see if I can score into it, if not, I'll have to take a lower math class, and therefore more than just the one class that I need. That will fucking suck and piss me off.

-Wednesday-
+Intro to Philosophy 12:30-1:45
+Business Law 3:30-4:45
+Principles of Accounting 6:30-9:15

-Thursday-
+(Said math class since they are all Tuesday and Thursday classes)
Art Appreciation 6:30-9:15

-Online-
+Principles of Economics

No school Friday, thank the lord.
But yeah. That's 18 fucking hours, which will give me a running total of 46 when I'm done with that. I need... oh. I guess I need 46 to graduate. Or 56. I'm not sure how to total it because it's weird. Anyway, balls. However, I need all the classes so the classes I shall take.

2 Thoughts | Drop off a thought

butterfly

:: 2008 15 April :: 8.48pm
:: Music: Weird guy coughing next to me.

Betterness!
Okay, so, I'm feeling fantastic. I had a great day, EVEN THOUGH my baby brother fucking flipped me off this morning. Oooh man did I kill him though. I told him we were sending him to an Army camp and he would never see his family again if he didn't fucking straighten up and act like a gentleman.
... He cried. A lot. And gave me the hugestest hug like *EVER* and a kiss to boot, which made me happy.

And then... I stayed up and watched the last of season 5 of Charmed so I'm excited about starting season 6 tomorrow (it's part of what I live for and I refuse to apologize for it). I then went back to sleep at like 9:30 because oh em gee I was tyrdzz. Only I didn't sleep. I laid in bed and thought about Kelly <3. Then I fell asleep sometime and woke up at 1:30 due to Ashley's dumb phone call in which she begged me to go with her to meet this woman in a scary little town called Stark City so that she didn't have to go alone and get ate all by herself. So, I had to get ready, though I didn't have time to fix my hair (ugh) and yeah. So ponytail day, which was alright because it actually looked cute. Yayz. And then uh... we went, and didn't find the woman and so we came home and then it was time to go to school.
Turns out my first class was canceled and no one knew about it so I was a myspace whore for that hour, and then Biology ... we watched a lame movie on DNA for 29062085 hours, during which Mandie and I texted during (Jealous? I know) and then did some worksheets in which we did no work, he merely told us what to put in the blanks which was effing SWEETNESS.
And... now I'm getting ready to go home and talk to Kelly =)

1 Thought | Drop off a thought

eddy	:: 2008 15 April :: 7.23pm I had a dream last night. Dumbledore made me Lemonade.... 9 Thoughts \| Drop off a thought