eddy
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2007 8 September :: 8.05pm
:: Music: John Mayer - Great Indoors
Finally finished harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It was great, but I'm sad that it's the end. No more waiting anxiously for the next book, wondering what was going to happen in the new addition to the story. *sigh* Time to move on then.
Why am I so unaffected by death? Sure, I cried my eyes out when deaths occurred in the book, but when it happens in real life, I'm strangely detached...
Maybe it's the Celtic side of me....?
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eddy
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2007 8 September :: 2.45am
:: Music: Enigma - Le Roi Est Mort, Vive le Roi!
Welcome to My World
I've come to a strange realization....
I love Johnny Depp's nose.
Yeah....
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butterfly
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2007 6 September :: 11.41am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy
I eventually went to bed a little after four this morning, and then at 7:30 my dad woke me up because we were under a tornado watch and he had to go to the fire station and "spot" and whatever. So I've had 3.5 hours of sleep and a lot of coffee. I kind of feel like shit but I've still got homework to finish for tonight.
The worst of the storm passed, though it still looks pretty bad out, and it's supposed to hit again later on today.
We live by this little creek and it's well over the bridge. It's higher than it's been in years and it's a little crazy.
We definitly needed the rain, we've been in a drought and we had to put a burn ban on and blah. Still, it's a lot of rain in a very short time, and it's not supposed to let up until Saturday.
Anyway, this is a great song. She has a really great voice. And red hair. Gah.
Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy
Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick
Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, ever forget
These images
Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?
[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
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butterfly
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2007 6 September :: 1.50am
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: Made of Steel - Our Lady Peace
http://www.demonbaby.com/pics/americanworld.gif
Pure Gold.
Life sucks
Kelly's hot
Test on Tuesday
Speech on Wednesday
I've had 8 cups of coffee in the past two hours
Peed about that many times within the last hour
Doing homework
Talking to Jacob
He sleeps through his classes a lot like a noob
My Speech teacher is in love with Hitler and Harry Potter
The End
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butterfly
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2007 4 September :: 5.39pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: S&M - Metallica
It's slightly humorous watching someone type who doesn't know how to. My dad just freaked out because he put an apostrophe instead of a comma and didn't know how to fix the "problem".
I wanted to hug the poor guy and laugh my ass off at the same time.
I'm so his hero though, when it comes to computers. Go me.
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butterfly
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2007 3 September :: 8.55pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: All Within My Hands - Metallica
I was kind of scared to go to Michigan to go to school because I knew how expensive it was going to be. I was havening to take out loans, even though I got almost $17,000 in grants and scholarships. Now I'm going to school and, although hating it, I don't have to pay anything. One grant covered everything, and I'll be getting money back. I feel like people are going to make it difficult for me to leave, finally, and go to school up there which costs about $20,000 a year as opposed to the estimated $3,000 I'll pay for one year at Crowder.
I'm positive that I don't want to finish school here. I don't want to be here now. I'm not enjoying myself at all. No matter that it would be more intelligent financially. If I have to, I'll wait a little while before continuing on with school. I'm in no hurry. I would need to find a decent paying job and get an apartment and a coffee pot and just wait it out. I'm praying that I'll be able to get a car within the next few months. I'm hating this more than ever.
I'll probably talk to my grandparents and see if they'll give me a loan for a car. They might, Lord knows they give enough money out to other people, why not their own granddaughter? At least that's what I'm telling myself.
I need to find a job like right now... but then there comes in the No Car situation. How would I manage to get there? How am I going to be able to afford an apartment in Michigan if I can't get a job and save money now, all because I don't have a car?
Since when did my life become such a huge and completely fucked up mess? I was always the one people went to because I had everything under control and thought out and I was a completely anal perfectionist. Now I'm like "oh... yeah, I don't know what's happening. Cool huh?" and try to play it off, but really I'm on the edge of a fucking break down.
Life officially blows.
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butterfly
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2007 3 September :: 12.07pm
:: Music: Paralyzer - Finger Eleven
I'm so bored right now. I hate Political Science and I have a ton of homework to do for that class but it's so boring that I keep creating excuses to not do it. I have a test on the 11th. I don't understand anything that the professor says and it's probably because 1. I've never found politics to be of any interest, and 2. The school I went to fails at life and once you graduate, you realize that you didn't learn shit.
Luckily the teacher posts his lecture outlines online and the powerpoints he uses, so I can get that and attempt to teach this shit to myself... which is what I'm trying to do, and it's not working too well.
I don't even know why the heck I'm in this class. I think my little person who was putting me in classes forced me at gunpoint. It's a little hazy. She probably clubbed me in the side of the head and that's why I can't remember too well.
I've decided I'm in love with the song Teenagers by My Chemical Romance. It's amusing.
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eddy
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2007 2 September :: 1.54am
I've just finally seen Pirates 3. I enjoyed it immensely, but it's left me with a terrible feeling, and kind of a bad mood. It's just left me feeling....weird. Is the only way I can describe it I guess, lol. The ending really bothered me, added with the little bonus clip at the end.
All I can say is, they better make another one and fix it. Or I will be upset. More so than I am now.
Some parts just didn't make sense.
Poor poor Will.
Not to mention they left several things wide open, just asking for a part 4.
I can hope.
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butterfly
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2007 30 August :: 6.26pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: Die Die My Darling - Metallica
Kelly's always telling me how awful Cyanide and Happiness is... and he's completely right. I love how twisted it is though, and this one here.... well it's just as corrupt as they all are. And I still love it.
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
Anyway, class is supposed to start in like two minutes and our professor is no where to be found, and half of the class isn't here.
Interesting...
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butterfly
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2007 29 August :: 6.30pm
There's a REALLY big "no food or drinks in the lab" sign above my computer, but I wonder what they would do if I drank my water anyway?? Cause like I'm thirsty and stuff, and I don't want to leave all my shit, step outside the lab, drink, then walk back. Nor do I want to pack all my shit up, step outside the lab, drink, and come back.
Asshats.
Oh, I watched a classic last night -- The War of the Roses -- and it brought back another classic, which just so happens to be calling people "fuck face"
How great is that?
There's no scroll thing on my mouse... mui upset. yeah.
Uh I'm talking to Kelly, Jacob, and PJ and they're all doing really good jobs at making me want to laugh histarically, and i'm in a crowded computer lab, so when i do laugh, everyone like freaks out and looks at me... It's funny. I'm enjoying it. I'm going to be known as the weird girl that people avoid. It'll be fucking awesome
-Edit- I did end up drinking my water in the lab, and you know what happened? Nothing happened. Silly heads... so I decided to take it a step further, see if the hammer would fall, and I ate a bag of Gardetto's... Nothing. They fail. I'm doing whatever I want from now on. They don't scare me at ALL.
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butterfly
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2007 28 August :: 3.59pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
Homework kicks my ass.
I've never been a procrastinator, but I'm quickly finding myself becoming one. Not good. I need to step up and get it done so that I have more time to be on here and talking to my gorgeous red-head as opposed to taking numerous hours to do an assignment.
I'm also rather sad about the fact that I would have started school up there yesterday.... yeah. Not cool.
I'm tired of whinning about not being up there, but it's all I want to do.
I haven't really heard anything about gramma as of late. Last I knew they were bringing in a specialist to run some more tests... I don't know. It seems like if it were anything serious it wouldn't be drug out this long. I'm becoming rather skeptic of everything they say, which is nothing unless asked.
Whatever, I don't even want to think about it.
Something has become incredibly fucked up with our computer, so we're taking it to the shop tonight. Hopefully it won't be gone too long.
/pets
<3 it.
...is it sad that I don't want to disconnect the tower and hand it over to some madman yielding a ... tool used by madmen?
He'll know what he's doing... he's gotta.
<.<
>.>
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butterfly
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2007 27 August :: 11.28am
The stupidity of some people utterly amazes me. This, I swear, is a must watch.
http://helptheiraq.ytmnd.com/
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eddy
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2007 26 August :: 1.54pm
:: Music: Santana/ Josh Groban
And the search continues....
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butterfly
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2007 25 August :: 10.19am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: Come Back To Me - Plain White T's
I'm ready to leave.
My mom and I just don't get along, and I feel like I'm the lead role in one of those cheap tv drama's where the daughter's all "woe is me, my mom hates me..." and then cries on whomever's shoulder is nearest.
That's far from where I am, I don't care if mom doesn't like me. I just want her to get off my fucking back. Her goal in life, I swear, is to rip every ounce of happiness out of every living thing surrounding her.
She was so happy that I was staying here for a while longer, and I was naive enough to think it would make her, if not nicer, at least a little more bareable. I was off big time. It seems to have registered in her head "oh, hey, she's still here. I can get in some extra jabs and insult her as much as I want now."
It probably wouldn't be so bad if she showed the same hostility she has towards me to everyone else in my family. Not that they escape it all together, or that I wish they had to put up with the same shit that I have to, but I don't know what I did to deserve it all.
Anyway, enough crying from me. It's too hard to understand her and there's no point in trying to. 18 years hasn't changed a thing, I don't expect it to change in the future.
Yesterday morning I was home alone, and the phone rang and the caller ID said it was from Phoenix, Arizona. I don't know anyone from Arizona. I answer and no one said anything, and then you could hear them breathing heavily. Creeped me out, so I hung up.
Then that afternoon same number called again. Same results, as well, only this time the heavy breathing started right up, no pause.
We all went out to eat and went grocery shopping last night and didn't get back until late, so I don't know if they called again, there wasn't any messages from them, so I figured it was just some weirdo and it was done with.
They freaking called again this morning. Now I'd told dad about it, and when they called this morning he answered, and they hung up right away. He's like "Rachel you answer it if they call again and then give me the phone."
I looked up the number online and it's a cell number from Verizon Wireless but it didn't give the name of who it belongs to.
It's actually kind of cool. I feel like I'm in one of those cheesey mystery books or something.
I finally bought the Plain White T's cd. I liked it. A lot of lovey stuff, which is what I need right now in my life.
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butterfly
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2007 20 August :: 2.13pm
From my Federal Pell Grant I got $4,310 to help pay for one year of college. So I had $2,155 for this semester, and I only had to use $1,600 of it, so I get $555 back. How fantastic is that?
I know.
I don't know when I get it back though. I think in like eight weeks.
Tis going towards my "Rachel needs a freaking car" fund.
My dream would be a 2008 Ford Focus.
<3333!!
And now to go get ready for skool. Yayzorz.
/die
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