butterfly
|
::
2007 16 July :: 9.11pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: Smells Like Teen Spirit - Tori Amos
Ashley drug me to the lake yesterday with her friends. It wasn't really all that bad, I only creeped my self out a few times and had to swim for the bank and stare at the water to make sure nothing surfaced, preparing itself to gorge upon my limbs. No such surfacing so I stuck it out for a few hours.
Then a storm hit and we packed it up.
Ash and I decided to rent a couple movies -A Little Trip To Heaven, and Freedom Writers- and buy some junk food and headed home and straight to my room.
Today sucked. My head hurt so bad, I guess from having my glasses off for such a long time and straining to see. I don't know, just an assumption, but on top of that I had to pick green beans and snip them all day.
Drop off a thought
|
eddy
|
::
2007 14 July :: 3.17am
:: Mood: discontent
Why must this world always disappoint me so very much?
4 Thoughts |
Drop off a thought
|
|
butterfly
|
::
2007 11 July :: 10.22pm
:: Mood: discontent
:: Music: Desperately Wanting - Better Than Ezra
Class Schedule
Monday
Algebra - 9:00-9:50
Public Speaking - 10:00-10:50
Intro to Business - 12:00-12:50
English 1 - 3:00-4:15
Algebra (Mandatory tutoring class I think...) - 4:30-5:45
Tuesday
Algebra - 9:00-9:50
Literature - 3:00-4:15
Wednesday
Algebra - 9:00-9:50
Public Speaking - 10:00-10:50
Intro to Business - 12:00-12:50
English 1 - 3:00-4:15
Algebra - 4:30-5:45
Thursday
Algebra - 9:00-9:50
Literature - 3:00-4:15
Friday
Public Speaking - 10:00-10:50
Intro to Business - 12:00-12:50
Hopefully Monday and Wednesday will be the only "harder" days, and I'll be able to make my homework up on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I'm going to be working on campus -hopefully- and Kelly's sister said that they work really well with your schedual so that should be alright.
I talked to Kelly earlier and I don't know, he kind of seemed preoccupied so I just left. He was working at Eden and I always feel bad talking to him while he's there anyway so oh well. We'll probably just talk tomorrow.
I need to call Ferris and see when my scholarship money will be put into my bank account so that I can go ahead and order my text books. I called the bank today and they said I still hadn't recieved it so I should do that tomorrow if I've got time.
We're adding on to two of the existing buildings we have, so mom and dad have Taylor and I outside all day doing random work to prepare for that. Plus we're finally getting rid of the kennel because everyone's just done with it and so we're cleaning up all that junk. We've sold a lot of the dogs and so we have to tear down the pens on the ground, and clean out the one building we still have left. There's just always busy work so I never have time to get on here during the day anymore it seems, which isn't fair to Kelly because then I want to stay up late at night so that we can talk, but of course he doesn't want to stay up until one or later every single night so... I don't know, hopefully things will get back to normal here pretty soon.
I think Ashley's going to move back home when I leave, since dad will be starting school too -he's going to college to become a teacher since the carpentry business is just tearing up his body too much, plus my uncle, who's the co-owner with dad, is retiring pretty soon, so there's really no point in keeping it up. Mom's never been one to get along with her children too well, so it's always been Dad, Ashley, or I that had to be here for a buffer between her and the kids, so that's probably why Ash would move back in, also to help around the house.
Things are just crazy and stressful right now.
2 Thoughts |
Drop off a thought
|
|
butterfly
|
::
2007 10 July :: 11.58pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Something's Always Wrong - Toad The Wet Sprocket
I was outside with Taylor for like... probably a long time, idk, and Kelly went to bedzorz so like le sigh and stuff.
I was like "oh I'm nauseous... Taylor come outside with me so I can get some fresh air plz /sad face" and so we went and sat outside and talked and then I come back in and Kelly was like "I'm going to bed... love ya" and so now I'm NOT tired and have no one to talk to and it's midnight and so I guess movie ftw.
Blah.
Drop off a thought
|
|
eddy
|
::
2007 9 July :: 1.19am
Its been a while
I had one of those wonderful dreams last night. Where you wake up, and just have a wonderful euphoric feeling for the longest time.
And as usual, the shitty reality of life and the rest of the world destroys it.
3 Thoughts |
Drop off a thought
|
|
butterfly
|
::
2007 6 July :: 10.38pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Sorry - Buck Cherry
Talking to Kelly...
He always makes me feel good.
I love him, and I love being mushy.
Ok so I was in my room piddling around, going through stuff that I'd kept from high school and was throwing things away, and then the phone was like "oh watch me ring" and I was like "Oh? well watch me answer you"
and then there was my old boss from Country N. He was like "ugh the waitress broke her arm and you're the only one I know so ... come in" and I was like "bitch, you better pay me better than you did last time I worked, or I'll mess you up so good" and he was like "um... okay??" and then ... that was all. I got ready and went in and worked.
It was freaking dead though, I only made like $25 in tips. Blah.
Anyway, tomorrow I shall spend the day at the gross park because of the annual Wheaton BBQ and my parents part in it. Blah.
Oh and then my parents get in a fight and mom forces everyone to sleep. Imagine the hostility I feel for her atm.
/Shooting her with my laser eyes.
Drop off a thought
|
|
butterfly
|
::
2007 4 July :: 7.37pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: Looking Glass - Stone Cold
Working outside sucks. I always end up with poison oak or poison ivy, yet my parents are always like "outside, now!" and then freak out with when I get either of the aforementioned things.
Stupid heads.
/eye roll
Anyway, my parents are like "zomg fireworks" and idk they kind of bore me. Yeah, you get a cool one every now and then, but for the most part they're boring and reduntant.
Kelly's going to leave and either go hang out with PJ or watch Transformers.
It's times like this when I wish I were still in Michigan. I had such a good time up there, and we didn't really do anything. Good company is how to explain it I suppose.
Blah
Watch me have an emo moment.
Drop off a thought
|
|
butterfly
|
::
2007 3 July :: 10.47pm
:: Mood: cranky
Church social thing was tonight.
Ate, had wheel-barrow races, and then sat and talked until it was dark enough to do fireworks.
It sucked.
I got ice cream dumped on my headby a dumbass , and ditched by Renkoski for cowboys because he was horny.
Plus, I now have enough bug bites to like name them and divide them into families.
Kelly's still on though, so I'm not near as mad as pre-Kelly conversation.
<3 him.
/itches
/sighs
Drop off a thought
|
|
butterfly
|
::
2007 1 July :: 9.03pm
Something as perfect as the trip is hard to put into words.
I got delayed 7 hours on the way up there, so that was less time to spend with Kell which sucked.
He's so perfect. I love him.
Ooh watch me go all starry eyed.
Seriously though, I had the best time ever.
<3 cuddling.
I didn't want to leave, I don't want to be at home right now. I want to be with mah baby :(
He smells amazing too.
Seriously, if no one has noticed how awesome Kelly smells, go smell him. asap.
If anything it'll creep him out and make everyone lawl.
/goes on forever about Kelly.
2 Thoughts |
Drop off a thought
|
|
butterfly
|
::
2007 26 June :: 2.13pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Dead Skin - Crossfade
I went to bed at 3 something and got up at 7 and did a million errands and now my head hurts and I leave in like 7 hours.
It doesn't seem like I'm even leaving because usually you leave for trips in the morning, not at 9 effing 15 at night.
--Editzorz--
My dad went to the bank with me because he had to talk to this guy that had to sign my check that I was getting cashed, and on the way to Cassville he told me he was proud of me, and I started crying because it was the first time he'd ever said that. I and my amazing powers pulled it off as eyes watering because they do that a lot, but... I don't know. It made me sad.
But anyway, now I'm off to sleep. Hopefully this headache will go away because it is very unwanted and unneeded.
1 Thought |
Drop off a thought
|
|
butterfly
|
::
2007 26 June :: 12.07am
/sigh
I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight.
1 Thought |
Drop off a thought
|
|
butterfly
|
::
2007 25 June :: 5.40pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: Never Gonna Say I'm Sorry - Ace of Base
I opened up a checking account today. I got sick to my stomach doing it, too. I'm just doin loads of things all by myself. Buying a bus ticket with My money, not battin my eyes and having daddy pay for it, I'm goin to Michigan alone, goin to school where I aint got no family, and now I've opened up my own checking account.
It's terrifying.
I leave tomorrow night. I'm going to be on a bus, by myself for like 19 hours. That reminds me that I need a little light thing to read. I so doubt I'll sleep much, if at all.
I'm so excited though!!
Gosh, I feel like a hormonal freak, my emotions are just everywhere.
Scared, nervous, excited, ecstatic, on the verge of throwin up, giddy... there just aint no end to it.
I hope Kell's just as much of a mess as me though. Ha. He aint gotta sit on a bus in the company of strangers for 19 hours and get a numb ass. I doubt I'll even remember how to walk once I'm off that dumb bus. Stupid Greyhound.
Drop off a thought
|
|
butterfly
|
::
2007 23 June :: 8.39pm
:: Mood: heroic
Folsom Prison
PJ and I were talking about Johnny Cash and so I'm doing what must be done to save mankind.
I hear the train a comin'
It's rollin' 'round the bend,
And I ain't seen the sunshine,
Since, I don't know when,
I'm stuck in Folsom Prison,
And time keeps draggin' on,
But that train keeps a-rollin',
On down to San Antone.
When I was just a baby,
My Mama told me, "Son,
Always be a good boy,
Don't ever play with guns,"
But I shot a man in Reno,
Just to watch him die,
When I hear that whistle blowin',
I hang my head and cry.
I bet there's rich folks eatin',
In a fancy dining car,
They're probably drinkin' coffee,
And smokin' big cigars,
But I know I had it comin',
I know I can't be free,
But those people keep a-movin',
And that's what tortures me.
Well, if they freed me from this prison,
If that railroad train was mine,
I bet I'd move out over a little,
Farther down the line,
Far from Folsom Prison,
That's where I want to stay,
And I'd let that lonesome whistle,
Blow my Blues away.
2 Thoughts |
Drop off a thought
|
|
butterfly
|
::
2007 23 June :: 7.23pm
:: Music: Colors - Crossfade
I was such a bum at the start of the day, but I feel justice has been served by my dearest mother.
I went to bed around 2:30-3:00, and got up a little after 2:00.
Then mom was like "haha, I tricked you with letting you sleep." handed me a broom and a mop and told me to get to work.
So, the floors are all pretty now, and I even dusted, cleaned the stove top with the shiney-making stuff, cleaned out the fridge and did laundry.
It makes me sick when people walk on the floor after I mop though.
Yesterday was fun. Renkoski came over and we sat and goofed off at the house for awhile, and then we went to Tessi's and watched Brokeback Mountain.
He had never watched it before, but Tessi, Johanna, Whitney and I all watched it when it came out on dvd. Awkward.
lol it was fun to watch his face throughout the movie.
... well if that didn't make me sound like a creephead.
WOW.
Done with that story now.
Anyway, later that night all the guys went camping and Tessi and I met up with Kandace at Kyle's and sat around and screamed/sang angry girl music to Joey and Kyle (which pretty much made their ears bleed) and played cards. It was great fun.
Other than that, I've fallen in love with this song all over again.
Bother - Stone Sour
Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds
Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds
[Solo: Corey]
Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries
And you don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I'll never live down my deceit
Drop off a thought
|
|
