� I watch you burn in humid hell... �

:: 2007 1 August :: 6.14pm

I don't know anymore. I just want this all to be over with. I hate this all. Life sucks.

:: 2007 31 July :: 5.35am

I'm back at home right now. Don't ask why. I'm not sure for how long. I just really want to go back though. I absolutely hate it here. My room is so empty. Everything echos off my walls. I miss B so much already. All of this has hit me so hard. It really put things into perspective. It's been 3 months between us already. All this shows I am afraid to lose him. This fucking sucks.

1 x escaped from x | � hell �

:: 2007 27 July :: 11.28am

FUCK THIS SHIT. Maybe all of this really is over and I am just not seeing it. This fucking sucks.

xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 25 July :: 11.43am

i saw him. even if it was only for a little while. he hasn't changed a bit, except for he lifts weights now and doesn't look so boney. he's still really skinny, though. i love ryan. he's such a good friend. we've been through a lot. he's doing really well there, he gets to come home early, too! september or october and he should be back for good.

and i'm almost happy again.

:: 2007 20 July :: 11.17pm

hmm
Sometimes I wish I felt more in the loop. I feel left out all the time because doing the things you do isn't my thing. I feel that you look down upon for this. Just once I wish that it was just you and me and no one else. Just once. That would make me all the more happier. I don't mean anything bad about it. Don't get me wrong. I just don't know how to talk to you without saying the wrong thing. Even if it sounds bad, it's not.

:: 2007 20 July :: 9.10am

It's too early to be awake right now. This sucks. Oh well though, I need to not sleep in so late anymore.

:: 2007 17 July :: 9.15pm

I have a bit of a headache right now. I'm happier by a long shot.

:: 2007 11 July :: 8.22pm

Things seem to be getting better. B is still cool. I just need to change.

:: 2007 10 July :: 4.29pm

I guess things are, I wouldn't say 100 percent better, but it's up there. I am now just waiting for a phone call...

loserxdork

:: 2007 10 July :: 1.34pm

Things are ok. I'm really frusturated with everything going on but I shouldn't really be complaining. Got a new job, sooo sad to leave my old one but it's ok. Probably starting my new job the end of this month because they have to wait for the background check, and fingerprints and everything so I have time to move to my grandfathers. Hopefully starting school in August, well, the end of August so that'll be really good. A year after I start working at this job I can probably go into partnership with her when she opens up a daycare and that would be amazing, yeah. Not really much else is going on. Things with Joe & I are going well. He got a job, he hates it but whatever, he'll live.

Just wanted to update so that everyone knew I was alive and whatnot. I'm at the library, then I'm making a copy of my social security card.'

Bye.

:: 2007 8 July :: 5.21pm

I feel cheated. I feel used. I feel just plain horrible. How do you realize that your life pretty much sucks when everything has been wonderful? I don't know either.

3 x escaped from x | � hell �

:: 2007 4 July :: 5.53pm

For starters, the parents are getting a divorce. I'm pretty positive it's for real this time. Considering the fact that Tim moved all of his stuff out and all.

xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 1 July :: 8.02pm

i'm leaving the country tomorrow!
i'll be in germany for a while.

see you soon, woohu.

:: 2007 29 June :: 9.02pm

There is something you can't understand, how I could just kill a man.

I love B.

:: 2007 28 June :: 9.15am

no sleep
I got absolutely no sleep last night. Had a large coffee after 9. Had some sparks and a rockstar energy drink after 11. Stayed up and played uno with B's family til about 3. Stayed awake til 5 and then woke Brenton up and talked for a few. Then I layed there until a little after 6 and decided that I was up for good. My eyes are blood shot and I looked all pale this morning. It was a pretty scary sight. Even scared me.