::
2003 10 October :: 5.43 pm
I am the BLUE.
I value my feeling, compassion and empathy for
people. I love to talk to people and talk
about anything and everything. I get
particular meaning from my conversations when I
can inspire and motivate people.
I am in search of meaning and significance of life.
I am very spiritual.
I value harmony. I do not like hostility, anger,
aggression and confrontation. You see, I take
everything personally. I will give many second
chances but your last chance will certainly be
your last chance. I tend to always remember
when I have been hurt by another.
At Work...
I want a boss who is fair and equal to everyone. I
believe in the team spirit because I am a team
player. I want to work at making a difference
in people's lives. I prefer a work setting
that is warm, dramatic, creative, motivating,
and personable. I like my co-workers to be
communicative, nurturing, and helpful.
In School...
I value a warm, encouraging classroom environment.
I like teachers who are approachable and will
maintain the dignity of each student in class.
I like the personal touch. I achieve best when
the instruction is warm, sympathetic,
supportive , and personable.
* I dream of love, affection, authenticity.
* I value compassion, sympathy, rapport.
* I dislike deception, hypocrisy,
insincerity.
My Motto is...
"To thine own self be true"
True Colors
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4 not real |
& you can't save me |
::
2003 10 October :: 5.06 pm
:: Mood: calm...somewhat...
i'm ok honestly
there have obviously been ppl now who read my journal & think the worst bout me...
please don't worry i'm fine!
i'm not gonna have sex...i'm not gonna get married...i'm gonna finish high school...i'm going to college...i quit smoking...i'm not suicidal...
i didn't think that ppl thought this journal was a cry for help...i'm not wanting help...i just like to type honestly...so this may truely be my last journal entry...i'll be around...but yeah...
don't worry, i'm ok...
2 not real |
& you can't save me |
::
2003 6 October :: 7.13 pm
:: Mood: drained out but happy
this IS what it sounds like when I cry...
"When Doves Cry" (by Prince)
How could you just leave me standing,
Alone in a world so cold?
Maybe you're just too demanding.
Maybe I'm just like my father--too bold.
Maybe you're just like my mother.
She's never satisfied.
Why do we scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like,
When doves cry.
Which 80's Song Fits You?
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& you can't save me |
::
2003 6 October :: 4.19 pm
:: Mood: um...unmentionable
:: Music: silence
oh lordy here we go...
so yeah i figured out that some ppl look at my journal now that weren't necesarily were supposed to see it in a way...i'll tell you guys one thing...
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF ME...SO I'M SCREWING UP...YOU THINK IT'S THE END FOR ME...SORRY, THIS ISN'T A CRY FOR HELP...I'M OVER CRYING FOR THAT SINCE I NEVER WAS LISTENED TO MUCH...I HAVE MY OWN THINGS I DEAL WITH IN MY OWN WAY...IF I EMBARASS YOU THEN DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE ME THEN...YOU'LL BE DEAD WIEGHT TO ME...PLUS DON'T ASSUME THINGS OR YOU'LL MAKE AN ASS OUT OF YOURSELF...I'M NOT THE CLEAN CUT PERSON EVERYONE EXPECTED ME TO BE...I'M LIKE THIS BECAUSE OF ALL OF YOU NEAR ME...
& i'm not giving it up to fit your convenience...you don't like it...tough shit...
& you can't save me |
::
2003 3 October :: 11.54 pm
:: Mood: sleepy & happy
:: Music: evanescence - going under
bored but good
Clarissa Explains it All. Little brothers piss you
off and your best friend climbs up a ladder...
But of course that's not weird to you because
you're Clarissa Darling
What's Your 90's Nickelodeon Show?
brought to you by Quizilla
1 not real |
& you can't save me |
::
2003 2 October :: 6.19 pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: something on kazaa
*oi* i'm stressed
band sux...we're gonna screw up the half time show...but that's ok...cuz we know we tried...but whatever...
i'm tired...school is long...school is boring...but whatever...
i'm in a whatever mood huh?...
& you can't save me |
::
2003 2 October :: 12.30 am
:: Mood: EXTREMLY PISSED OFF
let's get something straight here...
i'd LOVE to know what you think for once...
don't stand behind someone & let them ask all the questions for you...
don't say you trust me, when someone questions me 24/7...
& that someone gets you to doubt me...
if you are concerned bout something then ask ME personally...
don't have your fucking bitch do all your work for you...
you know who the fuck you are & usually i don't get this mad, but i'm tired of keeping it in me all this time...
either this needs to be fixed...
or i'm out...
& you can't save me |
::
2003 1 October :: 9.22 pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: FLAW - through the eyes CD
actions speak louder than words...
but with that said sometimes actions can be interpreted wrong...
with that...i say...
to those of you who choose to see that i'm cheating on joey w/ danny....
YOU CAN ALL FUCK YOURSELVES...CUZ IT AINT TRUE...
before you shit talkers wanna start something...bring it to me first...
fuckers...
& you can't save me |
::
2003 1 October :: 3.11 pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: thinking of haunted by evanescence
whoop whoop!
You are Anywhere
Beatiful song. Anywhere is beatiful and tragic all
in one. It reminds me alot of the song
"Theres A Place For Us" from West
Side Story. All that you want is to be with the
one you love, but the people around you are
making that near impossible.
Your Lyrics:
Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
What Extremely Underrated Evanescence song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
& you can't save me |
::
2003 29 September :: 8.20 pm
:: Mood: numb
the computer down once again & i write this words from this morning:
the night i lost my all
@ exactly 10:00 pm pacific time on Sunday, September 28, 2003, i lost someone very close & dear to me...he was the one i told everything to, the one i cried to, the person i spent much time with...& i'm lost without him..."services" will be tomorrow after school @ the street that crosses kamm...all welcome, but i will need my space in order to bury the memories...
RIP the friendship between danny & becky
& you can't save me |
::
2003 28 September :: 5.01 pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: mana - mariposa traicionera
someone stop me from listening to this song over & over & over & over &...
i'm freaking out...
i didn't do my homework...
danny hasn't called...
i feel sick...
i'm gonna start to fill out college applications in bout half an hour...
i didn't practice my trumpet...
i'm without joey...
*~*ay mariposa de amor, mi mariposa de amor*~*
god someone stop me please?...PLEASE!?...
*~*eres como una mariposa*~*
talk later...
*~*mariposa traicionera*~*
I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART JOEY
1 not real |
& you can't save me |
::
2003 28 September :: 4.28 pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: mana - i have no clue cuz i don't know spanish...lol
oi
Unreciprocated Love
Which Life Stage Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
well not really but i was bored so i took the quiz...I LOVE YOU JOEY!!!
1 not real |
& you can't save me |
::
2003 28 September :: 12.30 pm
:: Mood: tired & stressed out
:: Music: evanescence - hello
bored out of my little mind
My inner child is sixteen years old!
Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
& you can't save me |
::
2003 28 September :: 11.00 am
:: Mood: lost
:: Music: mariposa traicionera
damn fucking butterfly...
Mariposa traicionera Maná
Eres como una mariposa
vuelas y te posas vas de boca en boca
facil y ligera de quien te provoca
Yo soy raton de tu ratonera
trampa que no mata pero no libera
vivo muriendo prisionero
Mariposa traicionera
todo se lo lleva el viento
Mariposa no regreso
Ay, mariposa de amor, mi mariposa de amor
Ya no regreso contigo
Ay, mariposa de amor, mi mariposa de amor
Nunca jamas junto a ti
vuela amor, vuela dolor
y no regreses a un lado
ya vete de flor en flor
seduciendo a los pistilos
y vuela cerca del sol
pa'que sientas lo que es dolor
Ay, mujer como haces daño
pasan los minutos cual si fueran años
mira estos celos me estan matando
Ay, mujer que facil eres
abres tu alitas, muslos de colores
donde se posan tus amores
Mariposa traicionera
todo se lo lleva el viento
mariposa no regreso
Ay, mariposa de amor, mi mariposa de amor
Ya no regreso contigo
Ay, mariposa de amor, mi mariposa de amor
Nunca jamas junto a ti
vuela amor, vuela dolor
que tengas suerte en tu vida
ay, ay, ay, ay, ay dolor
yo te llore todo un rio
ay, ay, ay, ay, ay amor
tu te me vas a volar
& you can't save me |
::
2003 28 September :: 10.43 am
:: Mood: almost crying
:: Music: mariposa traicionera
i'm a bitch aren't i?
*ugh*
things always end up being my fault...i haven't talked to danny all weekend...& i wish i could...i bet he doesn't even want to look at me he's so mad right now...i found out he was at jorge's last night...at least he's not dead which was what i feared...i kept passing his apt lastnight to check if he'd be home or not...i called his house & left a message there...he hasn't called back...i guess i lost him as a friend...& that really sucks...i hate myself for everything i've said to him...done to him...i hate myself for getting involved with him & ruining his life...i've ruined mine too...i'm the only one to blame for this...
in other news:
we made that "casserole" thingy & it came out good...we (denisse & i) impressed nana & joey with it...so it's pretty good...my day yesterday was alright i guess...i hung out with joey some lastnight...we just talked & stuff...i woke up round 7 today...& been online since talking to jorge...& listening to mariposa traicionera over & over & over again...*sigh*...
what's your cowboy bebop theme song?
that mariposa song...*sigh*...i like it...but for some reason i feel like it's a song that i should hate...i know it's denisse's favorite song...& danny listens to it...*sigh*...
I'M SORRY...
2 not real |
& you can't save me |
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