lilkristen
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2004 10 July :: 9.46am
im so sick of being here...
im trying this whole new thing of making my words bold italicized and underlined
maybe it'll work... i'll update and see... cuz if it does, im gunna have fun with this!!! lol
& you can't save me
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lilkristen
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2004 9 July :: 6.46pm
:: Music: TAKING BACK SUNDAY!
aaah!!! i dunno lol
sorry im kinda like... blehhh right now nd i need to be in a better mood cuz im SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cranky... but who wouldnt be getting like 4 hours of sleep in 3 days... my mom's gunna shoot me cuz i know im gunna wind up acting like such a bitch tonightt omg shes gunna hate me... i wish ali was here i just need someone to listen to me complain for a few hours...
LI was ok... we went to splish splash that was fun... nd then we went to katherine's... or is it catherine? i dunnnooo... anyway we went to her house nd they have like a private beach thingy its weird but anyway its really full of little rocks so we skipped rocks for like 2 hours lol nd then we broke rocks nd then we had rock throwing contests lol it was stupid but we had fun... ohh and by we, i mean me, my brother, kaitlyn nd thomas, her cousin... natalie is sooo cute lol that's atherine's daughter ((im leaving out the first letter on purpose lol)) shes ADORABLE lol ahh crap dinner i can never finish updating when i want to!!!! anywayy leave me a comment...
2 not real |
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 9 July :: 2.01am
Oh god I made a really sucky site. AGAIN. Because I have no knowledge of HTML all my sites suck. *blushes*
http://druggeduphooker.tripod.com/dopestarsinc HAHAHHA
1 not real |
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 8 July :: 1.19am
:: Music: "Showdown" - Britney Spears
I don't mean to be a tease, but would you undo my zipper please?
Went to King's Island. Wasn't as sucky as I thought it would be. Actually quite fun, I'm a sucker for rollercoasters.
Well I'm about to go fix a TV Dinner and fetch a margarita. We just picked up some mix on the way home. <33
2 not real |
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 7 July :: 7.15pm
:: Music: Dreadful Dollface
Misstake
Well I saw Van Helsing last night, it wasn't that bad, I thought. Maybe that's because I'm a sucker for cheesy movies. =P
Well I'm supposed to be going to King's Island today but I don't really want to. Too lazy. Ugh.
On another note, go check out Dreadful Dollface. I'm sure I've promoted them on here before, but I'll do it again. =D
www.dreadfuldollface.dk
& you can't save me
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lilkristen
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2004 6 July :: 9.06pm
yayyy! another survey thingyy!
What is your name?: kristen
Are you named after anyone?: after me
What's your screename?: blindedbytears2x
Would you name a child of yours after you?: no lol i aint conceited
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?: i dunno
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: dunnoooo
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?: kristin
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: maybe lol alotta people cant pronounce it
Basics
Your gender: Female
Straight/Gay/Bi: Straight
Single?: yes
If not, do you want to be?: i prefer being single...
Birthdate: June 7th
Your age: 14
Age you act: depends on the day
Age you wish you were: i dont wanna miss anything... so no age lol
Your height: 5' 4''
Eye color: blue
Happy with it?: yes!
Hair color: dun askkk
Happy with it?: yeah i guess
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: lefty
Your living arrangement: my room lol
Your family: what about them? lol
Have any pets?: nope
Whats your job?: babysitting if it counts
Piercings?: ears
Tattoos?: nope
Obsessions?: alias and ryan cabrera lol ali
Addictions?: none
Do you speak another language?: i know some spanish... once, i called my mom nd i said hola mi madre and she said sry u have the wrong number lololol
Have a favorite quote?: the truth is, you could slit my throat, and with my one last gasping breath, i'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt...
Do you have a webpage?: lookin at it
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?: yupp
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: well im soooooo completely impatient but otherwise... no lol
Do you have any secrets?: yeah
Do you hate yourself?:no
Do you like your handwriting?: yeahh
Do you have any bad habits?: yupp who doesnt
What is the compliment you get from most people?: i love your hair! grrrr
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: lol probably twisted!!!!
What's your biggest fear?: losing the people i love...
Can you sing?: pshhhh yeah sure
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: are u fucking kidding me that is like the thing that pisses me off the most in the entire world!
Are you a loner?: nopeee i love meeting people lol
What are your #1 priorities in life?: people i love and music
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: yeah lol Are you a daredevil?: sometimes...
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: oh boy i could go on for awhile
Are you passive or agressive?: agressive
Do you have a journal?: lookin at it
What is your greatest strength and weakness?: greatest strength, knowing how to deal with things... i learned that from my depression... weakness... being hurt...
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: nothing.
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: in some ways... not when it comes to death... in any other way, yes
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: nope... not a thing... cuz i live each day to the fullest... and if tomorrow never comes, i'll know that i did everything i could...
Do you think life has been good so far?: without a doubt... im sooo lucky to have what i have
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: live
What do you like the most about your body?: my eyes...
And least?: um... i dunno im not really picky... i just know that i love my eyes lol
Do you think you are good looking?: ew i hate questions that make you compliment yourself/put yourself down...
Are you confident?: yeah
What is the fictional character you are most like?: i dont know!
Are you perceived wrongly?: omg yes
Do You...
Smoke?: no
Do drugs?: no
Read the newspaper?: yes
Pray?: yes
Go to church?: yes
Talk to strangers who IM you?: if im in a good mood and they arent trying to piss me off
Sleep with stuffed animals?: sometimes... when i need something to hug
Take walks in the rain?: as long as there aint no lightning
Talk to people even though you hate them?: i don't hate people.
Drive?: cantt
Like to drive fast?: cant drive!
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?: lol yeah
Hurt yourself?: no comment...
Been out of the country?: nope
Eaten something that made other people sick?: umm i dunno
Been in love?: no
Done drugs?: u asked me that
Gone skinny dipping?: no
Had a medical emergency?: um not really... yes i did i fractured my ankle
Had surgery?: nope
Ran away from home?: no
Played strip poker?: lol. no.
Gotten beaten up?: pshh yea whatever
Beaten someone up?: my brother if that counts
Been picked on?: omfg yes.
Been on stage?: umm yeah i have
Slept outdoors?: yes...
Thought about suicide?: no comment...
Pulled an all nighter?: duhh
If yes, what is your record?: 48 hours
Gone one day without food?: oh god no
Talked on the phone all night?: half of the night...
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: lol no
Slept all day?: no suprisingly
Killed someone?: no
Made out with a stranger?: lol no
Had sex with a stranger?: lol no
Thought you're going crazy?: yes every day
Kissed the same sex?: noooo
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: nope
Been betrayed?: fuckkk yea
Random note: i <3 tbs!!!
Had a dream that came true?: probably
Broken the law?: lol yeah
Met a famous person?: yea... hilary duff lmaoooooo dont ask
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: by accident. i dunno probably
On purpose?: haha no
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?:i used to do that i dont anymore i've grown up... life aint about gossip...
Stolen anything?: Yes.
Been on radio/tv?: no
Been in a mosh-pit?: no
Had a nervous breakdown?: no
Bungee jumped?: no lol
Had a dream that kept coming back?: yes.. nd it wasnt a nice one... people were chasing me with guns nd stuff
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?: yupp...what are we a planet of freaks?
Miracles?: yes
Astrology?: yes
Magic?: no
God?: yes
Satan?: yes and i'm scared to death of him.
Santa?: ((yes, but he died.)) <-- what the person before put lmaooo... my answer is no lol
Ghosts?: not really... in a way yes... its complicated
Luck?: not really...
Love at first sight?: no way
Yin and yang: lol no
Witches?: no
Easter bunny?: no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: no
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: lololol
Do you wish on stars?: i used to.
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: yes
Do you think God has a gender?: i dunno lol
Do you believe in organized religion?: no... i mean, im catholic but i dont believe in hating other people because of their beliefs...
Where do you think we go when we die?:i dunno... heaven or hell...
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: yeah... jenna's bi... nd i think ashley's bi too... dont worry, you guys dont know jenna nd ash... they aint the ones ur thinkin of
Who is your best friend?: ali
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: ali
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: i dunno but it was probably from lorraine
Your favourite inside joke?: oh gosh... too many... either seizure fish or chicken soup or steph's blue tongue lol
Thing you're picked on most about?: my hair lol
Who's your longest known friend?: tim nd joe
Newest?: mmm... katie my lil sis
Shyest?: i dunno...
Funniest?: matt
Sweetest?: kaitlyn lol i said it today ur TOO nice
Closest?: ali
Weirdest?: oh... me... without hesitation
Smartest?: julia, joe nd jonathan
Ditziest?: jenn
Friends you miss being close to the most?: umm... i dunno
Last person you talked to online?: shawn, RoRo, nd jenn
Who do you talk to most online?: i dunno whoever
Who are you on the phone with most?: shawn
Who do you trust most?: ali
Who listens to your problems?: ali and shawn
Who do you fight most with?: i dunno... everyone
Who's the nicest?: kaitlyn
Who's the most outgoing?: totally me
Who's the best singer?: molly!!!!
Who's on your shit-list?: lol ali is!
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: noooo
Who's your second family?: kait nd ali
Do you always feel understood?: pshhhhh
Who's the loudest friend?: me!
Do you trust others easily?: no!!!
Who's house were you last at?: kaitlyn
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: ali's nd shawn's
Do your friends know you?: um... not really... ali does... no one else really...
Friend that lives farthest away: umm either kelli or my newly made friend erika
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?: yes
What do you find romantic?: im sooo not into this whole romance thing right now... sooo not in the mood for it
Turn-on?: punk boysss
Turn-off?: pot head...
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going out?: no actually i prefer that i barely know them
Have you ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: no lol
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: umm no i dont think so lol
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: i dont know
What is best about the opposite sex?: nothing
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: everything
What's the last present someone gave you?: um... i dont remember lol
Are you in love?: no and right now i dont wanna be
Do you consider your significant other hot?: i dont have a 'significat other' lol
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?: ali
You wanted to kill?: ali
That you laughed at?: ali
That laughed at you?: ali
That turned you on?: i was on a roll with the ali thing until this lol i dunno
You went shopping with?: umm kaitlyn
That broke your heart?: dunno
To disappoint you?: dunno
To ask you out?: peter...
To make you cry?: i dunno i havent cried in a long time
To brighten up your day?: ali
That you thought about?: ali
You saw a movie with?: ali and james
You talked to on the phone?: shawn
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: shawn nd meg my twin
You saw?: kaitlyn nd thomas
You lost?: lol i dont lose people i lose things
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?: no
Will it be with your significant other?: dont have one
Or some random person?: lol not going out!
What are you wearing right now?: shorts nd a shirt
Body part you're touching right now: my leg
What are you worried about right now?: my mom killing me
What book are you reading?: a lesson before dying
What's on your mousepad?: its red
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: oyyy, oy, oy, oy, oy
Are you bored?: YES
Are you tired?: not really.
Are you talking to anyone online?: yes
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: no
Are you lonely or content?: content
Are you listening to music?: yes, tbs
whew im done!
2 not real |
& you can't save me
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lilkristen
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2004 6 July :: 8.43pm
:: Music: there's no 'i' in team... taking back sunday
fill it out in a comment
What Would You Do If
I cried:
I asked you to help:
I was becoming suicidal:
I killed myself:
I died from natural causes:
I killed someone:
I hurt myself:
I started smoking:
I stole something:
I moved away forever:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got in a fight and you were there:
What Do You Think About My
Personality:
Eyes:
Face:
Hair:
Clothes:
Voice:
Humor:
Choice of music:
Self Image:
Life:
Mannerisms:
Family:
Would You
Be my friend:
Be more than a friend:
Tell me the truth, no matter what:
Lie to make me feel better:
Spread rumors about me:
Keep a secret if I told you one:
Loan me some cash:
Hold my hand:
Take a bullet for me:
Keep in touch:
Try and solve my problems:
Love me:
& you can't save me
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lilkristen
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2004 6 July :: 8.24pm
:: Music: taking back sunday... cute w/out the e...
found this in a journal too... sooo true... props to u if u actually read the whole thing...
Innocence isn’t as great as it seems,
afraid,
of not being so,
everything is wrong,
and you don’t understand
because you are not like them,
so alone sometimes
to escape
the reality
fly among the dreams
yet I am alone there,
for I am only myself
no one like me
half a brain
I gave it away
fear me
or quit yourself
I know where to release
and be free
still alone
with no one like me
searching somewhere
turning up the noise
dulling the mind,
I'm ok
but your not
I want to help
but I can’t
because I don’t know who you are
I don’t know who I am
where are you?
lost in a distant cold land
will no one will find you?
where am I?
trapped with you
but I can’t see
and you can’t feel me here,
I have a message for you
but will it ever reach you?
If I should die
before I find what it is
keep going for me
I care
I care
but would you believe me?
I can never be you,
none of us are sane any more
but I can’t get past your wall
I want to tell you
but blocked by my own self
the irony
How will I help you
from a nameless monster
when truly I am not there at all?
Confused
stumbling through the haze,
turn up the volume
repeat the song
release it again
say farewell
we will meet again
in distant cold
I am silent
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 6 July :: 5.18pm
:: Mood: painful
:: Music: The Strokes
Dun dun dun
My back hurts really bad for some odd reason. And a misquito bit my finger so it swelled up to the size of a balloon. So I have one EXTREMELY fat finger and 9 other regular ones.
I think I might go see Van Helsing tonight at the Dollar Theatre. I want to go to Starbucks too, but I don't think that's going to happen. Those Iced Caramel Mochiatto (sp?) are SO SO SO good.
My Peppermint Creeps shirt still hasn't come. =( I wonder what's taking it so long.
4 not real |
& you can't save me
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lilkristen
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2004 6 July :: 12.18pm
:: Music: ryan cabrera - true
got this story from a journal... totally made me go AWWWW!... totally sweet!!!! ...here ya go...
A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road...
Girl: Slow down. Im scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? Its bugging me.
(In the paper the next day):
A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. 2 people were on it, but only 1 survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug 1 last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.
i wanna cry... its toooooo sweet...
1 not real |
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 6 July :: 12.19am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: The Cure
BABIES
Well I've had a busy weekend. First off, Christina came over Friday night, and we went to this wedding on Saturday (my aunt's) and she spent Saturday night here too. Then Ashley came over and me, her, and Christina all went to Wal-Mart. Well we were sitting in the food court, just drinking Cokes and stuff, and I told Christina something that was funny, and she started cracking up. Then I yelled, "BABIES!"...because I could. Then this little skinny Eminem type looking redneck came over with a crying baby under his arm and was screaming at Christina, "ARE YOU LAUGHING AT MY KID?" Needless to say, SHE was surprised, so she was like, "I'm not laughing at your kid!"
"I've seen you staring at him the whole time you've been here! If you laugh at my kid I'm going to kick your fucking ass, you hear me? You fucking freak."
He was a very angry man with a red neck. So after that escapade, we dropped Christina back off, and Ashley spent the night at my house. Today we met up with Emily and Stacie and hung out the mall. Little did we know that it closed about a half hour after we got there. We had to wait for about two hours in the foyer. Lovely, lovely times. So here I sit, writing in this. Moooooha.
Remember everyone: BABIES!
& you can't save me
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lilkristen
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2004 5 July :: 9.19pm
had a cool weekend...went to jersey yup yup... chrissy thought jon was cheating on her with liz and she HATES liz and liz HATES her so we all have mutual feelings lol... but we prank called jon lol... 'hey raul!' lmaoo it was really funny if u want the details leave me a comment!
we found out this morning that chrissy has mono and its contagious nd i spent a day with her nd im really hoping i dont get it... not because i was kissing her! cuz like, i dont remember but we probably shared a drink or something along the way... ::scared face:: i dont want mono!!! that would screw up my summer... speaking of summer, i wanna listen to tbs lol i dont know how they relate but i dont care lol... time for the stereo!!! woot! i need to have some girl talk with ali... i wanted to when we went to the movies today but she decided it would be nice if she brought james.. ((ALI I HATE YOU! lol)) and then it was nice of her to decide halfway thru the movie that she didnt want him there lol loserrrr i hate you ali lol jp i <3 you im calling you now lol...ring...... ring...... hello? hiii... how are ya? im good how r u? im good... she just took a walk to carvel... oohhh ok well you just tell her to call me when she gets back... ok, did you enjoy the movie? yupp it was funny...thats good well i'll have her call you... ok... bye...bye
that was the convo w/ali's mom lol she knows my voice when she answers the phone cuz i call all day nd every day lol but thats alrightt<3
on the phone im outtt
7 not real |
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 3 July :: 1.33pm
Well my friend Christina is over here, we're just sitting here. I'm allowed on the computer again as you can see. We're going to be going to my aunt's wedding in a few and I get to wear her kickass top. <333 Talk to you all later.
& you can't save me
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lilkristen
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2004 2 July :: 8.58pm
What is your favorite..
gum: orbit
restaurant: santa fe
drink: water
season: summer
type of weather: sunny
emotion: happy
thing to do on a half day: chill w/people
late-night activity: talkin on the phone nd playing football on the beach
sport: hockey nd football
city: nyc
store: pacsun
When was the last time you..
cried: dont remember
played a sport: like the other day
laughed: before
hugged someone: shawn
felt depressed: today
felt elated: i dont know what that means lol
felt overworked: today
faked sick: dont remember
lied: i dunno i dont really think about it when i do lol
What was the last..
word you said: didnt
thing you ate: pizza
song you listened to: fall back down, rancid!!!
thing you drank: water
place you went to: the bathroom
movie you saw: spiderman2... just todayy its sooooo good
movie you rented: along came polly
Who was the last person you..
hugged: shawn
cried over: umm... wow i dunno its been awhile...
danced with: i dunno it might have been RoRo lol
shared a secret with: i tell everyone my secrets lol
had a sleepover with: lauren
called: chrissy
went to a movie with: my family lol
saw: my mom
were angry with: probably my dad lol i dunno though
couldn't take your eyes off of: dunno
obsessed over: nobody!! woot!
Have you ever..
danced in the rain: yes
done drugs: no
drank alcohol: yea... not like obsessively though i've had champagne on new years
slept around: lol no
partied 'til the sun came up: yup!
had a movie marathon: yup
gone too far on a dare: no
spun until you were immensely dizzy: yes lol ask shawn i did it on the phone with him the other day nd i fell over lol
taken a survey quite like this before: yes all the time
5 not real |
& you can't save me
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lilkristen
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2004 2 July :: 3.33pm
i talked to shawn all night last night... like from 8 til midnight... i gave him a hug when i went inside nd then i called him nd he said 'i wanted to give u a kiss goodnight but u gave me a hug instead n then ur mom came over too...' nd i was like damn lol no i actually said aw im sorrry... nd hes like ah its okay...
even though every once in awhile i like him, i dont really want a relationship from him... cuz we're like best friends nd i like that better than a relationship... being friends with benefits sucks... i dont really want him to kiss me i dont wanna start to get attached cuz i dont want a relationship from him! especially since he asked out meghan ((she still hasnt called back... her phone got taken away...))but i mean, who knows, meg's answer could be a yes nd they could be going out tomorrow... oyy he keeps tellin me he wants to kiss me nd i mean, i might actually tell him 'dont' cuz i dont want things to change... gottaa go...
1 not real |
& you can't save me
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