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lilkristen
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2004 7 March :: 4.00pm
:: Music: say anything
ooh and by the way i have a new line to describe me...
i dont care...
i feel like posting some lyrics..
i used to know the sound of a smile
in your voice
but right now, all i feel, is the pain of the fighting starting up again.
all the things we talk about, you know they stay on my mind,
all the things we laugh about, they'll bring us through it every time.
when will you laugh again
laugh like you did back when
we made noise til 3 am
and the neighbors would complain!
--say anything<3
hard days made me hard nights shaped me
i dunno they somehow saved me
and i know im making something
out of this life they call nothing
i'll take what i want, take what i need,
they say its wrong but its right for me,
i wont look down wont say im sorry
i know that only god can judge me
and if i make it thru the day, will tomorrow be the same?
am i just running in place?
and if i stumble and i fall,
should i get up and carry on
will it all just be the same
cuz im young and im hopeless
im lost and i know this
im going nowhere fast thats what they say
im troublesome im falling
im angry at my father
its me against this world and i dont care
-the young and the hopeless...
can you see why i love that song so much? cuz every single word of that describes me exactly...
those hard days that made me were the days when i was in serious depression...
and after i got over it, i guess they did save me in a way cuz i look at life differently now...
and i will go somewhere in life... i know i will...i do whatever i need/want to satisfy me...i never apologize... at least not sincerely..and everytime i mess up i know im coming back to the same thing as before nothings different...i know that im lost, and i know that im falling... and im usually mad at my dad at least once a day... and it really is me against this world...cuz you cant trust anybody at all... its horrible but true... you cant trust anyone... but like i said above... I DONT CARE.
& you can't save me
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lilkristen
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2004 7 March :: 3.58pm
:: Mood: tired!
:: Music: the young and the hopeless!
softball practice today... katie came... shes one of the new girls we got on the team... nd shes good!! we were really impressed considering shes 2 years younger than us! shes a pretty good hitter nd a great fielder... anyway... ali bought me monkey socks =). just thought you all should know
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 7 March :: 3.42pm
I cut my hair again. Not too short, I only cut about two inches off. Then I made the ends all different lengths, with the front parts being shorter and the back parts being longer. Now that I have washed it and all that jazz it looks alot better. The ends of my hair were dead.
It's a drug I tell you, mooha. Some people binge eat when they are upset or something, when I'm upset I take some scissors and whack off my hair.
Now I might cut it shorter, like to a little bit below my shoulders. Yes, that might look good.
2 not real |
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 7 March :: 9.46am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: "Dead Babies" - Alice Cooper
My underoos are slipping!
God, my butt hurts.
I have to get some "dressy" shoes today. I'm going on a trip to Chicago next Friday and on one of the nights I have to get dressed up and all that jazz and I seem to be without dressy shoes.
I have these big platform boots that I could have worn...but (1) they wouldn't fit in my suitcase (2) my mother took one look at them and said "HELL NO". So yeah, shoe shopping we go! *raises fist*
2 not real |
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 5 March :: 4.11pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: AFI
Today was great. The weather is absolutely gorgeous, I only had to go to school for half a day, all my friends were cool, and I'm going to my friend's sleepover birthday party thing tonight. Well, that's basically all I have to say, so I'll write in this thing either tomorrow or Sunday, probably. Ta-ta everyone.
2 not real |
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 3 March :: 4.34pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Switchblade Symphony
Gutter Glitter
It's back to my dad's I go. My mom is yelling at me to get off the computer, so I shall have to update tomorrow. Ta-ta.
& you can't save me
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lilkristen
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2004 3 March :: 3.51pm
:: Music: shake it!
i hate almost everyone in the world... heres a list of people i dont hate... heh i have to look thru my b/l for a list of people cuz i cant think of many...
my parents and my brother ((for once))
ashley
emily
christina c
kait
adrianna
sophia
mike b
jenn
lucy
paul
matt
mark
tim
joe
lauren flynn
tina
megan
danielle
steph
cassie
jackass =]~
lauren my cuz
twin
hmm... it may seem a lil long... but 23 people from my buddy list outta 200? yea well thats kinda not many people... im tellin youu everyone in the world pisses me off... nd if ur reading this nd u think ohh maybe she missed my sn well ur wrong sorry... i didnt forget anyone... i hate the world! yup... anyway... there r probably a few others whos sns i dun have but whatever... go ahead, i know what some of u r thinking... u read the list too fast nd missed ur name... well u didnt so oh well... hmm... should i make a list of the top ten people i hate? nahh thats just mean... aw forget it everyone else is mean why shouldnt i be? oh yea now i remember cuz im too tired to use any more of my energy with this... im bored so im just gunna go play music nd wonder why the world sucks... oh nd for all u people who've heard about that girl who's missing... melissa kennedy... if ya believe in God, pray to him for her... i know her sister... not personally... but shes a really nice girl nd i feel really bad for her so at least HOPE for her to come home... ok? ok... bye.
2 not real |
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 2 March :: 8.42pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Queen Adreena
Where The Sidewalk Ends
I attempted watching the movie White Oleander. I couldn't watch it.
It did the book no justice. The only good thing it did was give me a couple faces to place to a name. It left out soo many good parts in the book, and it covered about 1/3 of the book in ten minutes. Plus I don't want to know what happens until I finish reading it. I'll just watch it and make fun of it after I'm done reading the book.
That just goes to show that it is true, kiddies, the books are almost ALWAYS better than the movies.
Anyways, I feel kind've left behind, because the main girl in the book, Astrid, has done soo much more than me and has had so many more experiences than me even when she was only 13, and I'm 15 and I haven't even done most of the stuff she has. The only thing I've done is gotten high, and that's not even on a regular basis.
I live way too much of a sheltered life, I think. I need to go out, do something. Not spend my life like a little hermit. Sheesh.
I bet this whole entry makes no sense.
Plus, why does my ex-boyfriend feel the intense urge to call me 10 times a day just to tell me that he still loves me, despite what I feel about him? *shakes head*
2 not real |
& you can't save me
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lilkristen
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2004 2 March :: 5.08pm
:: Mood: soo annoyed at every single person in the world
:: Music: shes gunna break soon... less than jake
JENRIZ119 [4:52 PM]: ok ok... u got "madd skills"
BlindedByTears2x [4:54 PM]: thank you, thank you very much
oooh yeaa lolol... im gettin ready to go ice skating..what to wear, what to wear... shes gunna break soon! sry im listenin to that song =] soo yeaaa.... BORED! hahaahaha i got so sick in school i almost collapsed... uHhOoHhHh... AAAH!!! NEWS!!!! LUCY'S MOM HAD THE BABY!!!!!!! YAYY!!! a lil boy named robert!!! =] =] =] =] =] =] =]! me nd steph saw her waitin on the corner when we got outta school nd we knew why she wasnt in today so we just screamed nd ran across the street nd hugged her lol yay yay yay!!! but grr to veronica shes driving me insane about practicing for softball saying "ooh yea armands practicing 2 days a week nd we havent started yet" but does armand work 5 days a week outta the house from 730 til 8 @ night? noo! im like hes freakin busy nd who cares what they're doing yea i wanna beat them too but who really cares about them!!!! they were unfair in the players they got so why should we treat them like they're just a great team because they have talent when in reality theyre a good team cuz armand got them stacked... yea... i gotta make sure none of them read this... hmm... thats ok... well i gotta go get ready... and to every single person that reads this that knows me except ashley... I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **!>** ALL YOU PEOPLE PISS ME OFF! YES... EVEN YOU
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 1 March :: 4.43pm
Same old, same old. God, I can't put that White Oleander book down. I'm so bored. And my little stepsister is bugging me for her to get on the computer. BUT IT'S NOT HAPPENING MWHAHAH. *feels evil*
I'm going to go die now.
& you can't save me
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lilkristen
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2004 1 March :: 4.19pm
boredom...dont let it happen to you...
& you can't save me
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lilkristen
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2004 1 March :: 11.42am
:: Music: boxcar racer
sry i havent updated in awhile but if ya can remember my last post saying OMG I FEEL SO SICK! well yea i got sick... this might sound nasty but in a matter of like 9 hours i puked 6 times =] sry to share but i was really sick nd couldnt move so yea... i stayed home from school today, even though i feel better cuz i really needed sleep... nd my mom said in like an hour we're gunna go pick out my new cell!!! yay!!! im so sick of mine now nd im gettin a new one!!!!! wheeee! ok yea i gotta go finish gettin dressed so i can actually go nd get the phone =]... actually im probably not getting it today but... oh nvmd... too long a story... but im getting it! woot! bye!
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 1 March :: 7.26am
:: Mood: cynical
:: Music: Change (In the House of Flies) - Deftones
Just call me, Miss Ann Thrope
I don't wanna go to school. I wanna stay home and read my book all day and watch Murderdolls videos. *cries*
That White Oleander book is REALLY FUCKING GOOD. Well, so far. I stayed up half of last night reading it because I couldn't put the thing down! Stupid school.
Make it DIIIIEEEEE!!!! *stabs*
4 not real |
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 29 February :: 7.50pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: FDQ
Send Me An Angel
Well, I went to Emily's house last night. It was cool, we didn't go to The Attic though. We went to her grandma's house and walked around, then we went to her house and sat in front of the computer for countless hours. It was still fun.
God, my lips are incredibly chapped.
Here's me with a hanger on my head....such fun.
I hope that works.
2 not real |
& you can't save me
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blacktears844
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2004 28 February :: 2.13pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: Deadstar Assembly
Well, I'm going to my friend Emily's house tonight, or today really, I have to start getting ready because I'm going over there at four.
We're going to this place in Dayton called "The Attic", it should be pretty fun. It's like a hangout where bands play, from what Emily described. If anyone from the Dayton area on here is going and wants to hang out, you know what I look like, buckos. ;)
Well, I have to go drag my mother out of bed so she can drive me up there. Her alarm has already went off about five times, she can only press the "Snooze" so many times.
I'm reading "White Oleander" by....*insert correct author's name here* It's pretty good. See you all later. Ta-ta.
2 not real |
& you can't save me
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