I'M GOING UNDER DROWNING IN YOU I'M FALLING FOREVER I'VE GOT TO BREAK THROUGH I'M GOING UNDER

 

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blacktears844

:: 2004 17 January :: 1.59am

ACEY SLADE'S NEW HAIR IS FINALLY HERE!!!! *rejoices* LOOK LOOK!


OOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!



I need a life.

1 not real | & you can't save me


lilkristen

:: 2004 16 January :: 7.52pm
:: Mood: depressed...
:: Music: no brains, sum41<3

what ive been doing for the past four days...


a place deep inside me
empty and hollow
being eaten away by dark secrets
my heart sinks lower and lower
with no one there to pick it up
i need someone to lift my heart
and never drop it,
for the slightest crack
could mean eternal darkness







sadness washing over me
a lack of self control
a single tear runs down my face
and i dont know why...

my head begins to spin,
becoming blinded by my tears,
the glue holding my sanity,
slowly disappears...

im being deceived
my whole world full of lies
truth is a stranger,
friendships seem to die.

and now im stuck here in this world
with no purpose at all
the only thing left for me to wait for
is when i finally fall...








shadows hold me down
try to hold me back
im losing grip
afraid of falling too far
the pain gets too intense
and everything turns to a blur

cant see what pushes me over the edge,
what makes me stumble into nothingness
cries for help seem to get stuck in my throat
until all my senses seem to evaporate
im losing my grip on the edge...
ready to fall
waiting for someone to pull me back up...

i realize no ones there
i fall









its a feeling that cant be explained...
you're empty and hopeless
lost in this mess of a world
and there nothing left to do but watch

and as the wind slowly brushes past your face
you realize that you cant always see what you feel...
its like lacking something
that you will never find

but no one seems to understand how you feel
and things dont look good...
the sun's gone down, gone to sleep
and so must i









all these days wasted in my altered state of mind
with nothing to do but lay here
in this desolate world.
frustrated by all this tension
lack of passion surrounds me
im sinking slowly










The blood runs through my veins
like cold air through hollow branches
emptiness is all that's there

A presence you can feel
thats invisible to all but one...
the one who caused the emptiness

it watches the tranquil light pass through me
only for it to turn dark and miserable at my touch

becoming immobilized by my fears
a voice telling me not to turn away...
but i have no choice






its like a walk along the beach
leaving footprints in the sand
like leaving an effect on the earth
but the water always washes the footprints away
and the effect you made is forgotten
and what you've done, no longer exists

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 16 January :: 7.14pm

Ah, well, I'm mistaken. We're going out to eat and see a movie. Fun times.

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 16 January :: 7.04pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: Peppermint Creeps

I have spent the whole entire day at home. Good times. Ah well, I still have three days to get out into the world and have a bit of fun. Another evening at home on the computer. Lovely.


I never did get my candy.

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 16 January :: 8.21am

Goth girl!
You're the goth ruler!


What kind of popular highschooler are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


i Iz Da GoFFiK QuEEn!!111lollol!!1111wtf!11

2 not real | & you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 16 January :: 8.07am

Oh fuck, I feel sick. I think I need to eat something.

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 16 January :: 8.05am

~* ALL ABOUT YOU*~
whats your full name?:Sarah Elizabeth Bowman....how quaint
what do your friends call you?:...........Sarah
your parents when they're pissed at you?:............Sarah....sometimes Fuckhead when they're drunk...I don't get that..
what name do you enjoy being called?:..........Sarah
how old are you?:15
whens your b-day?:May 1
where were you born?:Kettering, Ohio
when were you born?:Look up, dumbass.
color of eyes?:Hazel
color of hair?:Black
height?:About 5'5'' or 5'6''
weight?:I believe I'll pass on that, daddio.
sixe of jeans you wear?:Why must you taunt me?
size of shirt you wear?:The size your MAMA wears, biatch!
size of shoes you wear?:9
size of underwear/boxers?:Um.....my mom buys those for me, I don't know.
(for girls only) size of bra you wear?:36D....dammit.
~~Favorites~~
fav color?:CLEAR
fav clothing garment?:Um...my SHIRT
fav possession?:my SHIRT
fav person?:The person wearing my SHIRT
fav thing to do?:Wear my SHIRT
fav animal?:Animals can't wear my SHIRT therefore I dont like them.
fav food?:Whatever I eat when I wear my SHIRT
fav movie?:Basically anything horror or comedy...drama if I'm in the mood for it and PORN IS ALWAYS GOOD.
fav book?:"The Bell Jar" - Sylvia Plath, "1984" - George Orwell, any serial killers or true crime books
fav place to go?:My room.....I can put my SHIRT on in there...
~!~about the opposite sex~!~
do looks matter?:If they have the looks to go along with the mind I'm not complaining...
what color hair?:I prefer dark hair I guess.
what color of eyes?:It doesn't matter.
hands or lips?:It depends where they're going.
skinny or fat?:It doesn't matter.
describe a nice body:::I really like ones that have skin attached, and it is kind've peachish....and stretchy.
~*~HAVE YOU?!~*~
ever been kissed?:If you can call it that...
ever made out?:No.
ever had a relationship, if so how many?:It wasn't really a relationship...more like an aquaintance.
ever had sex?:HAHA I wish.
ever do anything sexually?:HAHA I wish.
ever do anything sexually with the same sex?:HAHA I wish.
ever gotten drunk?:Yes.
ever gotten high?:Yes.
ever smoked?:Yes.
ever stolen?:Yes....tsk tsk Sarah.
ever gotten caught for something naughty you did?:My mother still hasn't found my Barry Manilow porn.
ever cheated on a test/quiz?:Yes.
ever cheated on a person?:No....I haven't had the chance. But still, cheating is wrong. Really.
ever physically hurt someone?:HAHA yeah, and I laughed for days about it too.
ever emotinally hurt someone?:I like to verbally abuse my dolls. They know they like it. They're just playing hard to get.
ever lost a friend over a guy/girl that you liked?:No.
ever regreted something you did?:Doesn't everyone regret something?
if so, what?:Alot of things....wow, what a great answer. <_<
ever gotten into a car accident?:No.
ever been in a life/death situation?:Um...I don't think so.
ever been arrested?:Not yet. But today's looking good. ^_^
***WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME...***
you, failed a test/quiz?:Last month...dammit.
you, got dumped?:I haven't been dumped yet.
you, got asked out?:In October
you, got into a fight? (physcial/virbal):Uh...last week I believe.
you, masterbated?:Last night. ^_^
you, had sex?:Never. :(
you, kissed someone?:I kissed my dog today. He liked it too.
you, hugged someone?:Today.
you cried?:Um...about four days ago.
you smiled?:Just two minutes ago.
you laughed?:This morning.
you cried over happiness?:I have no idea.
you danced naked?:I dance naked all the time, bebay! And I LIKE it too.
you recieved an IM?:About 15 minutes ago...it's too early no one's on. :(
you heard the words "i love you?":Last night...from my mommy.
you watched a classic kids tv program?:I watch Barney all the time...is that a classic?
you went to a concert?:Last summer.
you drove a car?:Last fall.
you flew in a plane?:September
you skipped?:Skip to my lou?
you told someone " i love you"?:Last night...to my mommy.
you argued with your parents?:A couple days ago.
^*^ RANDOMNESS^*^:Okay...SHOOT.
have you ever dyed your hair?:Have I ever NOT dyed my hair?
ever watched an animal eat another animal?:I watch it on the Discovery Channel all the time.
ever been to a boxing game?:No, but I saw one on pay-per-view.
ever disturbed a quiet place with random screaming/yelling?:Oh yes. And I'd do it again too.
ever saw the movie Finding Nemo?:I LOVE THAT MOVIE.
ever had imaginary friends?:I still have some...most of them I got into fights with. They started watching me in the shower. Perverts.
ever believed in fantasy creatures? (ex: dragons, fairys.):Sure.
ever look yourself in the mirror and see someone else?:I see Sarah when I look into the mirror. Dammit.
ever see a ghost?:If you count "mists" in my house as ghosts...then yes.
ever "enter" the other world then come back? (seeing the light..ect.):I've seen the light....and almost got hit by a car.
ever had a survey before?:I've filled out alot of surveys, dumbass. Why do you think I'm here?
did you like this survey?:Dayum....it was long.

xsickittiex's *gasp* MAKES YOUR BORDOM VANISH! brought to you by BZOINK!

I'm a sick twisted horny bastard and you get to read about it! Lucky you.

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 16 January :: 7.41am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: The hum of the computer...lovely.

Mommy can I go out and kill tonight?
Well, it's the weekend and I have to pee really bad. And it's 7:41 AM. And I am up. WOO. I didn't buy anything besides some batteries last night, so I still have some money to spend on whatever. I might buy some candy.
Candy is good. Yes, I'll buy $17 worth of candy. And then jump up and down repeatedly.
I shouldn't be up....it's early and I'm tired and my whole house is asleep...even my DOG is asleep...maybe I should go to bed.

Or maybe I should go eat some candy.
I'll take the latter. Ta-ta.

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 15 January :: 4.09pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: "I Take Drugs" - Murderdolls

Well, today was a pretty good day. :)
WE HAVE A FOUR DAY WEEKEND!! *rejoices*
I'm going over to my dad's again tonight, and we are going to go to Best Buy and out to eat and to the store and all that jazz. I might buy a CD, and I definetly need some batteries for my CD player. I also have to pee badly. I haven't peed since 7 this morning. How interesting.

2 not real | & you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 14 January :: 3.48pm

Today was actually pretty good. Not that I DID much...but I saw my friends alot today and I was in a pretty good mood because I actually got some sleep last night. This girl was pissing me off at lunchtime and my friend threw an orange at her head. It was hilarious. He didn't get in trouble, though. A cockroach was about 2 feet away from my foot too in the lunchroom. I stepped on it, and the girls around me started squealing and jumping and acting like the cockroach had extremely sharp teeth and was going to bite their ankles. Good God. Ah well, I have to go to my dad's today, and then to my grandma's for dinner, as is every Wednesday. We got an hour early today for some teacher's meeting and we don't have school Friday or Monday. So only one more day of school and I get to have a full four-day weekend. Awesome. Also, for all of you that talk to me on AIM, I got a new name. It's DruggedUpHooker. Haha. I'll IM you all when you are on, so you know that it's me. Ta-ta.

2 not real | & you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 14 January :: 7.36am

More quizzes WOOT.
Name:Sarah
Person I would be for a day:Paris Hilton....she has the moolah, baby!
Date of birth/ sign:May 1, sign is Taurus
Person I would like to meet-alive:Davey Havok or Joey Jordison
Person I would like to meet-dead:Joey Ramone or Kurt Cobain
Power I would like to have:Flying would be cool...
Power I wouldn't like to have:X-ray vision.....old people surround me all the time.
The name I would give myself:Sarah. I always thought that was a pretty cool name. <_<
Actress/Actor thI would be friends with:PARIS HILTON. She can give me moolah. Wait...is she an actress?
Movie I would have liked to be in:A porno, DUH!
Famous person I would like to punch...............:Fred Durst
Famous Person I would like to kiss................:Any of AFI or Murderdolls. I need a life.
Famous person I would have as a servant for a day:.........Sex Servant? Then see above.
I have a secret crush on...:Your mother.
I secretly can't stand.........:Your father.
The exact day I would like to have been born:Um.....March 13...so I would be older than I am now.
The exact day I would(or have liked) like to marry someone:Um....September 14.....I have no idea why
The exact day I would like to die:January 14, 2004.
Who do you want to see first when you wake up in the morning?:My toilet. We bond.
Who do you want to see the least when you wake up in the morning?:My mother.
If you could kiss anyone right now who would it be?:You of course you sexy beast.
Who would you like to see exactly before you die?:Whoever is writing up my will....they better get that fucker right.
Do you Love someone?:Of course.
Are you In love with someone?:No.
Define what love is:I dont know yet.
Who is this person? (if your in love):I'm not.
What is the first thing you noticed about them?:I AM NOT IN LOVE.
Single or together, or somewhere in the middle?:Um....not....in...love...
What is the most annoying thig about this person?:ME, NOT IN LOVE.
Have you ever thought about them when you wake up?:I think about my toilet.
Life after death?:It's a nice idea.
Who would you like to see in a mental instution?:Michael Jackson
Who deserves a million dollars?:PARIS HILTON.....because she gives it to me.
Do you think you are a good person?:Sure.
Do you know who Franka Potente is?:Franka is my homeslice, yo.
Do you speak any languages?:English....some Spanish.
Have you ever made up your own language?:Haha, yeah.
If you could send your best friend somewhere, where would you send them?:To my house.
What song is stuck in your head right now?:"I Believe In a Thing Called Love" - The Darkness.....it's so damn catchy!
If you were a glove whos hand would you like to be on?:Whoever touches their crotch the most....and it wouldn't be any girls.
Have you ever been on a televison show?:No.
Do you watch Mt. Blue television?:I watch Mountain Dew television.
Do you like yellow or polka dots better?:Polka dots, yo.
Would you be able to love someone if they were missing hand?:Sure.
Doyou think money can buy love?:In Paris Hilton's case, yes.
If you were a duck you would......:Quack. And hump other ducks.
Who do you think you couldn't live without:Makeup and music.
Do you know the degree of water when it freezes?:Do I care?
What do you want out of life:Money and sex, oh yes.
Have you ever cheated on a loved one?:Nope.
What is honor to you?:A word.
Would you take a million dollars to kill a friend?:It depends who the friend was....haha I'm a greedy bitch.
If you loved someone and they died what would you do?:Search their pockets.
Have you ever killed an animal on purpose?:I sometimes fried ants with a magnifying glass. Then I'd step on them and laugh. Good times.
What your poision?:Grape pop. That stuff will kill me.
Have you ever seen and exotic place?:No....but I've been to Florida.
Do you like Halo?:What's that?
What would you say was the best thing about your face:That when you're looking at it, you can't see my body.
What do you hate about yourself:Where do I start? Haha.
what do notice first on a person:Hair....or eyes.
Last Few, almost done auyh!
Where are you?:In my house.
Where would you like to be?:In your mother's house.
Are you near anyone?:My dog.
Would they kiss you right no if you asked them to?:Most likely, but they are a sloppy kisser. I'll pass.
Do you believe in anything?:I believe in a thing called love...just listen to the rhythm of my heart......OUT DAMN SONG, OUT!
If yes, what do you believe in?:I believe in a thing called love.
What are you afraid of the most?:My mother's big toe.
What kind of car do you like?:One that runs.
Can you drive?:Not yet.....but it's only a matter of time. *evil grin*
What would you like to crash into if you had a Hummer?:You.
Do you know hummers only get 11 mpg, its a waste really
Do you care about the environment?:Um.............................sure.
Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?:No......dammit.

Wicked good Random Survey brought to you by BZOINK!

2 not real | & you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 14 January :: 7.21am

I recently visited Bzoink! Lucky you....haha
Three things that scare me:
1:Death
2:Clowns who eat me in my sleep
3:Captain Howdy
Three people who make me laugh:
1:Emily
2:My Dad
3:Everyone on Woohu
Three Things I love:
1:Music
2:The Internet
3:Makeup
Three Things I hate:
1:When snow turns to slush
2:When people ask me 54575427575245 questions when I'm tired
3:When I have no clean clothes
Three things I don't understand:
1:Why clowns must eat me in my sleep
2:Why everyone takes labels so seriously
3:Why my dog is staring at me in a questionable way
Three things on my desk:
1:Makeup
2:Money.....oh yes.
3:And....socks. Why are they there? I have no idea....but they're green. ^_^
Three things I'm doing right now:
1:My big biker boyfriend named Bubba...aren't you jealous?
2:Typing out this survey
3:Doing two things at once....multitasking, bebay!
Three things I want to do before I die:
1:My biker boyfriend named Bubba...accomplished
2:All the hot guys....there is a list, oh yes, a list.
3:Get more makeup.
Three things I can do:
1:Breathe.
2:Stare.
3:Type.
Three ways to describe my personality:
1:Strange
2:Sometimes humorous
3:Loud...yet quiet at the same time....STRANGE.
Three things I can't do:
1:Put my foot behind my head
2:A cartwheel
3:Go outside.......nooooo.....

Three Things brought to you by BZOINK!

1 not real | & you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 13 January :: 4.07pm
:: Mood: repetitive
:: Music: "I Love To Say Fuck" - Murderdolls

Another boring day of school. Another boring day of updating. I get to go to my dad's tonight again. Don't you love how life is so repetitive? I know I sure do. *rolls eyes*
GARRR I AM SO BORED. Life is fun. Oh yes it is. WOOO.
Well, at least I don't have to play in gym anymore. Tomorrow is when we turn our locks in. WOOT.

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 12 January :: 3.55pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Brand New

Today was okay. Same as any other day. I don't even know why I bother updating this thing when nothing happens. I get to go to my dad's today again. Woot. That's basically all I have to say. Boring days.

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 11 January :: 9.20pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: "Desperado" - Alice Cooper

WOW I get to go to school tomorrow. Lucky me.

& you can't save me

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