I'M GOING UNDER DROWNING IN YOU I'M FALLING FOREVER I'VE GOT TO BREAK THROUGH I'M GOING UNDER

 

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blacktears844

:: 2004 3 January :: 4.46pm

This cold sucks. I hate coughing up plegm every single minute. I guess I'll be staying home all night tonight, bonding with my computer as always. Fun way to spend my last night before I have to go to bed at a reasonable hour. I really don't want to go to school. I don't even want to go to see my friends. I don't feel that close to them anymore. The only friends I really feel close to...are the friends I have on here. That's pretty sad. The only friends I actually like is the ones I'll never be able to meet.
Dammit.

2 not real | & you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 3 January :: 5.35am

It's 5:30 AM and I just snuck out of bed in order to be online. I think I need help.

3 not real | & you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 3 January :: 3.07am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: "Bitch" - Dope

I really need a hobby other than this damn computer. I was on here until 5:00 AM yesterday and now it is 3:00 AM today and still here I sit. Damn this addiction. I'm tired as fuck but I can't bring myself to get away from the computer.....get away sarah....GET AWAY!! Arg.

2 not real | & you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 3 January :: 1.09am

By the way....sorry to everyone I was talking to online this afternoon...my computer crashed and soon after that I had to leave. Sorry guys. :( *love*

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 3 January :: 1.08am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: "Strawberry Gashes" - Jack Off Jill

Bwhahaha I FINALLY got that skirt I've been eyeing on the Internet....I went to Torrid tonight. And came back with this skirt, mwahah.


Awesome.

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 1 January :: 8.35pm

I am so bored. I just downloaded some music and I'm about to go in my room to read more of Helter Skelter. Hmm interesting life I lead, eh?

3 not real | & you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 1 January :: 6.54pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: "Let's Fuck" - Murderdolls

I think I have become boring.
Not that I wasn't boring before, but REALLY boring. Everyone I talk to on a messenger or whatever is like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great" and then they don't reply for like, 15475894657212 years. Or I'll say something, and they'll be like, "LOL!! That was funny". And then the crickets start to chirp. Perhaps I have just ran out of things to say.
I just hope I don't stoop to begin talking about my wallpaper again. My puppy stinks.

3 not real | & you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 1 January :: 4.26pm

The Last of the My Ruin Quizzes....
The Horror Of Beauty
The Horror Of Beauty


Which My Ruin album are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 1 January :: 4.24pm

Meghan
You are....Meghan "Metal" Mattox. You are
an Aries. You are a TRUE metalhead. You know
EVERYTHING there is to know about metal music.
You are a quiet person, but when someone
mentions something about metal music, you are
quite talkative. You admire Joan Jett. You used
to play guitar, but now you play bass. You love
tattoos, in fact, you have 26 tattoos at the
moment. In your spare time you have another
job, you work in an adult video store. You are
a smoker and you have a Britney Spears poster
up in your bathroom. You are very laid back and
easygoing. You are very kick ass!


Which My Ruin Member Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 1 January :: 4.20pm

I feel myself being a quiz and survey whore today...
Yael
You're Yael...
The Drummer of My Ruin...


Wich "My Ruin" Member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 1 January :: 4.09pm

God....I can't believe I just filled all this out...
The Generic Teenager Stereotype
Do you drink [alcohol]?:Yes, sometimes.
Do you party a lot? How often?:Not as often as I'd like. It's rare.
Do you use drugs for recreational purposes?:Not alot.
How often do you use the word like in an average hour?:About 5 times I guess. Less than 10.
Do you skip classes? How often?:No.
Do you have casual sex? Protected?:I don't have sex at all. Dammit.
Do you steal?:
Do you wear inappropriate clothing?:According to my mother I do. But I don't dress like a whore, if that's what you mean.
Do you drool over celebrities?:Certain ones. ^_^
Do you watch a lot of TV?:Not really.
Do you ever watch the News?:Once in a great while.
Do you even care about world issues?:Sure.
Do you read books often?:Yeah.
Are you failing a lot of your classes?:No.
Do you spend most of your time with your friends?:No....I spend most of my time with this computer.
Do you smoke cigarettes?:Not regularly.
Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at Seven Elevens?:I hang out in malls more than I should, I guess.
Do you often find yourself with a crush on someone?:Yes.
Do you cuss a lot?:Yes.
Are you desperate to fit in?:No.
Are you intelligent?:I like to think so.
The Goth Stereotype
Black lipstick?:When I feel like it.
Black eyeliner?:Yes.
Black eyeshadow?:Yes.
Black trenchcoat?:No, they are dry-clean only haha.
Black boots?:Yes.
Black fishnets?:Yes.
Black nail polish?:No, red, damn you.
Cigarettes?:NOT REGULARLY.
Heavy metal music?:Yes.
Marilyn Manson?:Yes.
Kittie?:Sometimes.
Cradle of Filth?:Sure.
Constant frown and perpetual angst?:Haha, oh yeah....*slits wrists while turning up Papa Roach* Haha.
Do you like to be seen as:....um....a human?
Are you an intellectual?:I LIKE TO THINK SO....damn all these repetitive questions...
An atheist?:Yeah.
Horrible home life?:Not really.
Hopelessly depressed?:Haha no.
Suffering with suicidal idealations?:I used to be.
Self-mutilation?:I used to....dumb Sarah.
The Punk Stereotype
Plaid?:No.
Big black boots?:Yes.
Mohawk?:No.
Excessive piercings? [Especially facial]:No.
Loud, confident and opinionated?:I can be loud....but that's it.
Wild hair colors?:Hehe....none yet.
NOFX?:They're not bad.
Rancid?:Sure.
Well versed on political scandals and outrages?:Not really.
A:+?
The Jock Sterotype
What's your IQ?:Higher than yours.
Do you watch a lot of sports?:No.
Play a lot of sports?:No.
Talk a lot about sports?:Anything but.
Do you do anything, really, but think about sports?:I think of anything BUT sports.
Are you arrogant?:I don't think so.
Are you a male or female whore?:Female whore? Unfortunately not.
Are you homophobic?:No.
Do you tease other people a lot because you want to seem confident?:No. I tease people because it's funny.
But really you're a quivering mass of insecurity?:Sure, I'm insecure, but I wouldn't go so far as to say a quivering mass of it.
Boobs = yes?:I like boobs.
Parties = yes?:I like parties.
Dropping out of high school and flipping burgers = yes?:No.
The Girl Stereotype
Do you spend a lot of time on your appearence?:About 10 or 15 minutes....
Have you ever been on a diet?:Yeah.
How much did you lose?:About 5 pounds. Dammit.
Was it not so much a diet as it was an eating disorder?:It was a diet.
Make yourself throw up?:Before I have.
Make-up?:I love makeup.
Low-cut tops?:No one wants to see what I have under here.
How big are your boobies? [Cup size]:I'm a 36D..
Do you flip your hair when you talk, even if you don't realize it?:I flip my hair when it gets in my face.
Giggle a lot?:Not really.
What's the deal with boys?:There is no deal. Dammit.
Thongs?:No thanks. I don't like wedgies.
Pretty bras?:Sure.
YM, Teen, Cosmo, et al?:Haha, my stepsister gets those.
Who's the weaker sex?:MEN GODDAMMIT!! Well....they can at least open mayonnaise jars..I'll give them that.
Are you a feminist?:Not really.
Do you think Brad Pitt is hot?:No. He looks like a lion.
How often do you shave your legs?:Whenever they start to get hairy again.
How about your armpits?:Every night.
Are you emotional?:Sure.
Especially when on your period?:YES I NEED CHOCOLATE AND GRAPE POP.
This Or That [Oh, that old coconut.]
Originality or Acceptance?:Originality
Independence or Companionship?:Companionship
Stability or Freedom?:Freedom
Personal or Interpersonal?:Personal
Introvert or Extrovert?:Introvert
Popularity or Isolation?:Isolation
Unique or Loved?:Unique
Understood or Individual?:Individual
You or Them?:ME!

How Stereotypical You Are... brought to you by BZOINK!

& you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 1 January :: 3.18pm
:: Mood: distressed
:: Music: "Dragula" - Rob Zombie

Dammit
New Years sucked. As I believe I have said before. We're having a "New Years Day" dinner. Sheesh. I only have 4 days until I have to go back to school. That sucks. ALOT. I kinda lost track of the days a bit, and still was in the mindset that we had about a week off. Dammit. I don't want to go back to school. I wish it was summer.

1 not real | & you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2004 1 January :: 2.26am

Ok...I have an Angry Personality
What's Your Personality?Find out!

Bwahahah....

1 not real | & you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2003 31 December :: 11.19pm
:: Mood: So FUCKING BORED.
:: Music: Hip hop something on the TV

This New Years Eve sucks.
Someone kill me.

2 not real | & you can't save me


blacktears844

:: 2003 31 December :: 6.34pm

I am doing absolutely nothing tonight.
I will probably sit in my room and watch DVDs. Everyone I asked to come over had something else to do. I need more friends.
This New Years Eve will be boring. Dammit.

2 not real | & you can't save me

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