::
2004 24 February :: 9.36 pm
... ive been on edge lately....
its really bad... so if i snap at someone im really sorry
does anyone of about the same strength as me want to get together and bear knuckle box me, last one consious wins?
4 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2004 19 February :: 10.18 pm
I HATE THIS
I DONT CARE ANYMORE
THE ANIMAL WITHIN ME IS TAKING OVER
1 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2004 16 February :: 8.50 pm
I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind"...
it's telling me all these things...
that you would probably hide...
am I... your one and only desire...
am I the reason you breathe...
or am I the reason you cry...
Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you...
I love you...
I hate you...
I can't get around you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take any more...
this life of solitude...
I guess that i'm out the door...
and now i'm done with you...
I feel... like you don't want me around...
I guess i'll pack all my things...
I guess i'll see you around...
Its all... been bottled up until now...
as I walk out your door...
all I hear is the sound...
Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you...
I love you...
I hate you...
I can't get around you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take any more...
this life of solitude...
I guess that i'm out the door...
and now i'm done with you...
I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I left my head around your heart...
Why would you tear my world apart...
Always... always... always... always...
I see... the blood all over your hands...
does it make you feel... more like a man...
was it all... just a part of your plan...
the pistol's shakin' in my hands...
and all I hear is the sound...
I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take any more...
this life of solitude...
I guess that i'm out the door...
and now i'm done with you...
I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take any more...
this life of solitude...
I pick myself off the floor...
and now i'm done with you...
Always...
Always...
Always...
1 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2004 15 February :: 8.38 pm
numb.... so numb.... so desolate... so alone
just let me die, leave me to die
3 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2004 30 January :: 6.00 pm
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rahter be anything but ordinary please.
Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
That this world is this beautiful
Accident turbulent suculent
I'm feeling permanent
No way I won't taste it
Dont wanna waste it away
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh my self to sleep
It's my lullaby
Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
2 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2004 23 January :: 3.52 pm
Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls
1 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2004 5 January :: 10.08 pm
FINALY
IM FINALY GETTING MY LIFE BACK ON TRACK WOOOOOOOOOOOOO, SO YEAH, BACK TO NORMAL HYPER CRAZY BEN! YAY!
6 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2004 2 January :: 8.06 pm
I just want to get in a all out brawl with someone and beat them into the ground untill there laying in a circle of blood, whats wrong with that...??? corse once i did id never be able to live with myself so id prolly hang myself...
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 29 December :: 11.39 pm
ok its time to have some fun u guys, everthing lately has been gloom, so heres sumn fun were all ganna get to do
everyone just say sumn good about themselfs, just what do you think is a good quality you posses...
~~ in my case, id like to think i can give good advice when i understand a situation completely, but im not perfect, i make plenty of mistakes ~~
ur turn, u can either comment here, or as i highly suggest since my journel isnt really popular post it on your own, im looking forward to reading them
hope you guys feel your spirits rise while finding your skill ^.^
4 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 29 December :: 7.24 pm
ill always be here, ill help you with every last breath i take
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 28 December :: 8.47 pm
:: Mood: gloomy
i sicken myself, im a horrible person...
why do i deserve to live, why cant i just let it all go...
4 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 27 December :: 12.51 am
I am
Little bit of loneliness
A little bit of disregard
A handful of complaints
But I can't help the fact
That everyone can see these scars
I am
What I want you to want
What I want you to feel
But it's like
No matter what I do
I can't convince you
To just believe this is real
So I let go
Watching you
Turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that i'm not
But i'll be here
'Cause you're all I got
I am
A little bit insecure
A little unconfident
'Cause you don't understand
I do what I can
But sometimes I don't make sense
I am
What you never want to say
But i've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you
For once just to hear me out
So I let go
Watching you
Turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that i'm not
But i'll be here
'Cause you're all I got
I can't feel
The way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal
This damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
No
Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me
Like it or not
Right now
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
pain has a nice place in my life, its right there stabbing my heart like a bloodthirsty maniac...
1 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 26 December :: 6.12 pm
today i put a sweatshirt on that i havent warn in a long time, and i dont think i had washed it since the last time i wore it, not that it was dirty, but as i put it on a familiar scent filled my nose.
I rememberd what happend the day i wore that shirt last...
and i actualy cried, after so long, so many days, it can still catch me off guard like that, such a strange feeling fills me... if i lived that day over... i would do what i couldnt bring myself to do... and maybe my life would have less pain right now... on the other hand, my life is turning around, finaly lifting me out of this pain
sorry bout this, im really just saying it have it said...
1 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 23 December :: 6.12 pm
I feel weird...
i dont really want to go to god squad.... i know it will be fun, but i dunno, i really dun wanna go...
everythings so confuseing
yes this week has started out ineresting, i had a friend over monday and turns out him and one of my other friends were planning sometime, even my parents were in on it, they gaged me and put me in the trunk of their car, drove me over to their house and chased me around with airsoft guns, so im sore and a little ticked.... cuz it was kinda interupting plans i was making which sux...
bah dark trunks going at 55mph are freaky....
well yeah, not much new
have a happy chrismukka
3 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 21 December :: 5.52 pm
My hero Jaan Lee
http://www.tecmo.co.jp/product/doa3/jpg/janl01l.jpg
besides the hair, thats what i want to look like
2 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
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