:: 2004 18 November :: 3.27 pm

Time goes by and God knows I try to carry on with life
Decide not to hide feelings inside, even though they hurt
Sometimes, I forget to remember you
It's easy to lock away the pains, don't want to relive it through
But I stay strong, you taught me how to move on in this world
I married my sweetheart, even got a little baby girl
I wish you could see her, I swear she looks just like you
If you can hear me, show me a sign, please send her a butterfly or two

chorus:
I'm thinking about forever (missing you)
I know you're so much better (we made it through)

Now I know what it means to live for someone else
To give up yourself
Things have changed, at times it gets kind of strange
Your love remains the same
Do I make you proud? Mama, can you see me now?
Whatever is good in me is because you showed me how to take love by the hand
And so now I can share you with my baby
So that she can understand

chorus

ending chorus:
I'm thinking about forever (missing you)
I know you're so much better (we made it through)
I'm thinking about forever (missing you)
I'm tripping on whatever (hearing you)

Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 17 November :: 7.38 pm

wow... id love to be a tomb guard...
http://www.tombguard.org/cog_centerface_2001.jpg

they have to march back and forth 21 paces and pause 21 seconds at each end as a picture of honor based on the 21 gun salute, the highest honoring salute in the army. There shifts last from 12-24 hours and they march no matter what the weather... the idea of honor really makes me happy...

Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 17 November :: 12.48 pm

just got home from hunting, i didnt get anything, but one boy in our party did, it was his first buck, so thats cool. anyway, i miss you guys alot and i hope i didnt miss to much, any big new? did someone die? have i been replaced by a robot yet?

5 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 7 November :: 1.09 pm

Good morning day
Sorry I’m not there
But all my favourite friends
Vanished in the air
It’s hard to fly when you can’t even run
Once I had the world, but now I’ve got no one

If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction
And save myself before I
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction
And save myself before I drown….drown

Good morning day
Sorry you’re not here
All those times before
We’re never this unclear
It’s hard to walk when you can’t even crawl
Once I had this world, but now I’ve lost it all

If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction
And save myself before I
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction
And save myself before I drown

Rolling faster than I’m breathing
Drown
Rolling faster than I’m breathing
Drown
Rolling faster than I’m breathing

If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction
And save myself before I
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction
And save myself before I
(Save myself before I drown, save myself before I drown, save myself before I drown)

Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 2 November :: 9.26 pm

i dont know how i feel, i dont know how im suposed to feel... all i know is how i want to feel, and it feels far off

Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 31 October :: 12.32 pm

kyles party was fun, i had a blast.

my dad is having a few more tests done but were pretty sure its not bone cancer, so there talking about surgery on his thyroid, maybe as soon as tuesday, so im sorry if im out of it the first part of the week

I think i kinda crashed, ive been having so much fun and now im just kinda, sitting around, but its kinda nice, its just relaxing

2 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 27 October :: 8.40 pm

my dads going to the hostpital... his blood test came back and there is something wrong with the calcium levels in his body, it can lead to increased risk of heart attacks.

2 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 22 October :: 7.04 pm

right so ive been dwelling on the past weekend, and it was so great, i wish everyone could have had the experience that i did, i keep talking about all the fun stuff i did, but what i liked about it the most is how it brought me closer to god, it had me talk to my friends about him. we just got to talk, and see how he gives courage, that was the basics of the seminar, that as men we need courage to make it through life, and how god will give it to us if we just believe in him and ask him for it, and no matter how low things seem, hes always there to give us an escape route...

p.o.d- anything right

>> very good christian song, but you have to know what its talking about<<

So much to say so little time for me to explain the way I feel
You only see things the way you want to see them
It makes sense to you all these things you do
You got it all figured out while everyone is confused
How do you do it?
In your mind I'm just blind
You're right all of the time
If I think for myself, I guess I'm way out of line
I'm not who you are
I'm so sorry

[chorus:]
I can't do anything right
You don't know me, stay out of my life
Kick me while I'm down, I want you to
I can't be like you
Don't want to be like you

No matter what I do it's never good enough
I give all that is me; still it's never enough
So, why try? I give up.
What does it feel like to be in you shoes
And walk over everyone like you do?
Tear me down again, I want you to.
You're lovely, so beautiful
You're perfect in every way.
Your interior rusted. I'm so disgusted
Can't trust it. You're busted

Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 15 October :: 11.17 am

there remaking shall we dansu in america! can they do that!? they cant do that! can they!?

3 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 11 October :: 3.09 pm

today sucked... sooo bad... thats about it...

Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 10 October :: 5.37 pm

i played paintball with some of the german kids and it was soo fun, there all really nice, and some of them are fearless, there pretty good paintballers.

2 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 6 October :: 4.07 pm

rrg, i cant take this... i need out, something has to change

Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 4 October :: 3.35 pm

im such a freak... isnt it great lol :P

1 rays shine | Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 2 October :: 8.28 pm

worked tonight carrying around stuff for 4 hours and my feet kinda hurt lol, but i got some under the table cash out of it, so its all good

Bring a ray of hope...

:: 2004 2 October :: 12.42 pm

i had my best nights sleep in a long time last night, and the fact that she was in my dreams made it even better

Bring a ray of hope...