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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 24 March :: 11.03pm

my birthday is in an hour.

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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 18 March :: 12.23pm

today.
would have made it a year.

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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 15 March :: 11.20pm

to coalesce,
then completely fall apart.


i still love him.
it is no longer mutual though.


i'm wondering when it will start to hurt less.

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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 8 March :: 11.30pm

i've lost my glow.
my eyes are dull and lifeless.

i am dead,
in spirit.

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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 25 February :: 5.47pm

i guess this is closure.

he has no romantic feelings for me anymore.
and has no interest in picking our relationship back up.


the past 3 months of my life have been a lie.

i want to be happy again.

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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 22 February :: 8.57pm

i can't even trust my best friend anymore.

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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 20 February :: 10.10pm

"i love you,
i just can't act upon my feelings."


that is not love.
don't ever fucking say you love me.
ever again.
unless you mean it.


and so with you.
je suis fini.

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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 18 February :: 1.33am

all i want is for you to talk to me.

about anything.

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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 15 February :: 2.15am

i haven't had a good day in weeks.

and you don't understand,
how easily you could have made it one.

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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 13 February :: 7.11pm

sitting on the railing with my feet hanging over the edge,
i look at the ocean, and the reflection of the moon,
sparkling. like millions of little diamonds.
i can see the water move,
i can almost feel the current.

and in this moment,
i realize i am alone.

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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 11 February :: 9.38pm

how quickly i forget...

everything
you put me through.

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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 10 February :: 12.01pm

make up your mind.

i can't take this for much longer.

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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 5 February :: 6.48pm

i wish falling out of love
was as simple and fun as falling in.

i know in my head that i should just forget this all,
and move on with my life.
but there's a little feeling i can't shake...
and it's small. but it's making an impact.

everytime i start to feel like
i should give up and forget about it,

you'll do something. nice.
and you'll act sweet.
and act like you care.
like you used to.

and i'll wonder why i ever doubted myself in the first place;
(of course i should hold on.)

but then you'll be distant.
and you'll lie.
and i'll know.

and it starts all over again.


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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 5 February :: 12.07am

drunk

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xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2007 3 February :: 9.53pm

stop

throwing my emotions around.

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