tired...
This weekend is catching up to me...o well...I had fun. I worked all weekend! That pisses me off. But Fri. night I went out and attempted to play pool w/ Chrissy and a friend...that didn't work out, so we just went to Steak 'n shake. We stopped by someones house on the way home, and that left me with like 2 min. left to get home. From 21 mi. to 19 mi. took me about a minute...hehe...good times. Then Sunday, I worked from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m., came home, did some homework, then Chrissy came over. Watched movies, ate dinner, and watched some more movies, flirted, and basically had fun. Flirting is the best part...I love doing it. O well...I'm gonna go...I'm tired and have to go to english in a few...peace!

something I wrote...
I care so much
but I've never been so scared.
I've waited so long
finally, my feelings, you share.

To know I love you is grand
To know you love me is heaven.

I fear if I try too hard, you'll be scared away.
If I don't try hard enough our connection will be broken.

I trust everything you say, I believe you when you express your feelings

I'm worried about me. It'll all lay naturally between us, I'm sure. But I can't help but be afraid of pushing to far, or not pushing far enough.

All I want is for you to be near me. I know how you feel, I know how I feel. 5 years in the making, I just don't want to ruin what we have, what we had, and what is to come. I've never been happier. I don't want to lose that.

That is to my sweetheart. I love her, I know I do...I just wrote it a little while ago. I don't care if anyone else understands it. I do. And I know she does. Peace.

damned musical!!!
The musical is really starting to piss me off. I love being there and goofing around w/ my friends, but the music isn't clicking w/ the play as well as it should be. The leading lady is shit, can't sing, and Robuck is being a cock. And the performance is less than 2 wks. away! All of next week we have rehearsal from 5-10 p.m. That's gonna suck, but I'm with friends...so it's cool, I guess. Tomorrow we have a concert for the little kiddies. That should be quite fun. I get a kick out of their reactions to the different instruments, and how loud it gets. Love it.

I actually feel like going to the gym tonight. It should be a good workout. We have the Golden Gloves coming up in May. That should be fun...unless I get beat...then it won't be.

School is better. I'm managing to stay awake in class now...oh shit! That just reminded me that I have a r/d essay due tomorrow in Eng...o well...I'll do it later. I'm paying attention better. Even though it's not at the front of my mind...the point is that it's in my mind...somewhere.

One of my friends, and he knows who he is, is the greatest friend anyone could have. We have so much in common, and we have very similar tastes. Our girlfriends...well, his girlfriend, and my "special someone" are a lot alike, even though someone may not think it. We both still like each others girls, but we're very happy with where we are now. I'm happy for him, and he's happy for me. We're happy with the people we're with. I can tell that when he looks into his womans eyes how much he loves her. Hopefully me and chrissy will have the same in a little while. But as of right now, we are dating. We want to take it slow so that neither one of us fuck it up in any way. This has been a long time in coming. I always hoped it would, and it finally has. It's so exciting. Anyway...I have to get ready to go to the boxing gym tonight...so, until we meet again, my friend...peace!

Gonna talk to my sunshine!

you already know
She came over tonight...oh screw it...She is Chrissy. Went outside by her car, held her...it was the greatest feeling...until we kissed! So, me and her, I guess, are officially "dating" and I couldn't be happier.

School is going better...possibly because of my mood change...I feel invincible. I love it. Everything seems to be clicking now. I know my priorities, and where they are. More later...peace!

Bonus!
Woohu! That's all that I can say. I'm just so happy, I don't know what to do with myself. O well...SHE is coming over later tonight...show me her new car, chill, whatever...I can't wait...

Stressed
Finally, I know what my friend wants, and feels. I feel the same way. My mom today asked me if me and her would become an "item". I told her that we have been friends for 5 yrs, and that we're getting close again. I don't know why she's starting this now, she never cared before. I guess she doesn't know how I feel about this person. 6th hr. today, all I could think about was seeing her, and being able to talk to her. All I wanted to do today was give hold her in my arms and kiss her. Those of you who saw me after 4th hr. today saw that I was in a pretty good mood. That was because I got a letter from her that explained how she felt about me. Then, she sent me an email...well...more of a link, went and read it, and that just made my whole day. Just to know that someone I care about so much feels the same way, it's unbelievable. I can't wait for the next time we're alone. I just want to feel her body close to mine, her warmth, her heartbeat, her breathing. Last time we had a chance to do that, I felt whole. I didn't care about anything else in the world. While she slept, I watched her sleep, smiling the whole time. Gently rubbing her hands, cheek, belly. I wouldn't have cared if I had died the next day, because I got to spend the night with her in my arms. I told her about a dream I had after the trip. I imagined we were still on the bus ride down, and she was sleeping in my arms. I woke up, and I was holding my pillow like it was her. Well, I had it again last night after a nearly 4 hr. phone conversation. I woke up smiling, then got mad at myself because I woke up. I want to feel that all the time. And only with her. And to her I say, I love you. Truthfully, honestly, whole-heartedly, and always. You are my thoughts, my dreams, and my reality.

And to my other friend, Derek. Sorry about everything that has happened to you. I understand how you feel when someone you treasure so much is in your arms. I can't wait for it to happen again for me. Congratulations on your relationship, you have an awesome woman, and I hope it lasts forever.

Love to everyone!!!

Sean

Your words to me just a whisper...your faces so unclear. I try to pay attention your words just disappear. 'Cause it's always raining in my head. So I speak to you in riddles because my words get i
That is my favorite song right now. That's kinda how I'm feeling. But anyway, today was a good day. Went to band festival, did my solos better than I have before. We got two 1's and a 2...and I think we'll get a 1 in sight reading, so that means we got a 1 overall...very happy about that. Half the fun of band and the contests is the chance for you to spend time with all your friends. I mean, really, if I didn't have friends in band, I probably wouldn't be in it. I would find another way and place to play.

When me and Chrissy get together, we are terrible. We make fun of people as they're walking by. It's so terrible, but it's to much fun to stop. The thing that amazes me, though, is that these people don't even realize it. O well...it's mean, but fun.

Well, so far, since I got went and picked it up for the THIRD time in as many weeks, my car finally seems to be running well. This summer I plan on starting to modify it. I would like to lower it, put on a full intake and exhaust, cam gears, and maybe some pistons and rings. Some friends of mine can hook me up with port and polish, custom forged pistons, and possibly even a twin-turbocharging kit...I can only hope...Another one of my friends goes to KCTC and they can bake all of the grime off of the engine. I think I might do that, after I can afford to buy new pistons and rings for it...which hopefully won't be too far away. All I can say is, I can't wait for the end of Fall next year...by then, I'll have most of this stuff done...yay! Anyway...this is enough for now...I may add more later tonight, who knows...I'm always thinking about something...peace!

something else...
There is something else bothering me...I don't know what it is, but maybe if I just keep typing I'll eventually figure it out. Listening to one of my fav. band, Incubus...was listening to Staind, another kick ass band. I dunno what appeals to me...I think that they're groove bands. You know, the type of music that you can just sit back, and feel. You just completely relax and let the melodies erase you're problems. Another good group, amazingly enough, that'll do that, atleast for me, is Bone Thugs -N- Harmony...it's weird...but if you listen to them, they're not like normal rap groups. They use harmony instead of just out and out in your face lyrics and violence. Don't get me wrong, I still love Metallica, Ozzy, Disturbed, Rob Zombie...but most of the time I listen to Gorillaz, Icubus, Staind, Miles Davis, Dizzy Gillespie...jazz...love it.

Now, completely different topic...has anyone ever thought they knew exactly what they wanted, and then at night, when you're trying to sleep, contemplating everything that has happened and all of your true feelings and emotions come out? I've been doing that lately, and realize that I'm not sure what I want. I think I do, and that's what I say, but honestly I have no fucking idea what I'm gonna do. College, thought I knew what I wanted, now I'm not sure. Women, thought I wanted to be single, but then I saw my friends in awesome relationships with my other friends, and realize that all I want is someone to sit back, watch a movie, and just be close. I'm afraid that if I don't find "her" soon, she'll be taken by the time I get to her...I don't know. I am really stressing over this right now. Any help will be appreciated. Okay, now I'm really done venting for the night...maybe...

Brain overload
I have noticed lately that my memory has been failing me. I don't know what it's from...boxing, maybe, but doubtful, stress (mostly of the opposite sex), more that likely...but it's starting to get in the way. Went to the Leonard St. gym tonight. Sparred a kid named Pete...god is he fast. But I screwed up my elbow last week and it kept me from throwing my right hand. I'm not even sure if I want to fight anymore. Yeah, it gets you in shape...great shape...but I'm not the biggest fan of being hit in the head over and over again. Now back to females...there is a gorgeous girl that I have class with. She is incredible. Beautiful, smart, funny...a little odd...but now she has a bf. I wanted to ask her on a date, but I missed my chance, and I'm pissed at myself for it. The day I went to ask her on a date, I see her walk by w/ her bf...talk about a slap in the face...oh well...it's my own fault...Then there's another girl. Love her to death. Been close friends all of high school, and then she breaks my heart. We're talking again, but I don't know if our relationship will ever be the same. But we're working on it, and hopefully everything will turn out for the better. All of my friends think I'm nuts for being her friend again, but I tried that and it was very hard to see her and not talk to her. And, if she ever reads this, sorry about everything when we got home...it was an attempt to get you to say something to me. Anyway...I think I've done enough venting for now...tune in next week, same bat time, same bat channel...
Peace!

hmm...
How do you add friends??? Derek, stef...help...please??

conflused
Why are women so damn confusing??? Someone, please answer me this? My god. They are making me go bald, honestly...my hair?? It's a toupee. Seriously, though, I don't understand why guys put up with all the shit women put us through...I dunno...I guess I just like the way they fit into my arms, how they smell good no matter what...who knows...all of womankind has me wrapped around it's little finger...well, atleast the cute ones...