eh
Today was interesting...was the mediator between dishwashers at work...sent my car into the shop to get the speedo fixed...and was all around long.

Anyways...I have a prom date now. I finally asked Stef. And her response, in a cool, non-chalant sort of way, said, "Sure". So that made my Friday a lot better.

Then last night, I stopped by Menards looking for "patio furniture", and bought a 79 cent pack of gum from Stef. When I left, I went down 7 mi. and saw the skid marks I made stopping for a train that I missed by about a foot...that was fun...

Anyways...I'm gonna bail...I'm tired...and I have to be back at work tomorrow morning at 9. So, tootles, talk to you all later.

"I just want everything that he told me. Someone to sit and hold in my arms, someone to tell my heart and sole too. Someone that will always love me no matter what I do. I love everything about him, his smile his laugh, his great personality, his attitude about life, and I could go on and on and on. I was just so happy to hear that from him. It made my night, actually it probably made my whole week, if not month or year!!"

bullshit.

i don't know...
Something doesn't seem to be right. I try, but everything I do seems to do nothing. I'm getting frustrated, and am about ready to give up...crazy, huh??

good times...
Don't burn that bindle of chiffarobe or else I'll wookie flip all over your toddy sac then jobie punch you d-bag. Then I'm gonna kike slap you all the way back to the day you popped out of your mommy!!!

Don't try to understand...only 4 or 5 other people will understand...Josh...Ryan...Andy...Scooter...and maybe a few others...

Now that I think about it, my parents really do care. It's my own fault. All of my friends, Gunnie, Dustin, Andy, Josh, my bro, Marty B, Katie P, JP, Kara, Stef, Bret, Jeremy, Chrissy...Matt are the shit. I love them all!

Goodnight!

I feel like a stray puppy. Nobody wants him. The puppy goes up to a door to beg for food, only to be kicked in the head right back into the street. I'm a failure in everything I've ever done. School, home life, relationships, sports, music. My life doesn't seem to have a point. No one seems to give a shit. I don't either. Maybe I'll jump off a cliff. Wrap my car around a fucking tree. Take the one thing that I have absolute power and control over and bring it with me to my grave. I don't care about anyone. A few people I do, my brother Ryan who's the coolest brother you could have, Andy, Josh, Derek, Zach, Kara and Adam who are my family. Diana, Laura, and Stef are incredibly sweet...a little goofy...but I care about all of them. And Chrissy who is the most important person for me. Everyone else, fuck you. But I'm not gonna kill myself. That would be very stupid. Then I'd miss everything that would've happened in my life...

good night...
I was stuck at home all day. That sucked. But then about 9 ish chrissy showed up hung out for an hour or so...then my bro left to go stay at someones house, and chrissy left cuz my ma had to work tomorrow. So, she left, and about 10 min. later, she came by again, and picked me up. So, yeah, we found a way to hang out. It was fun. hehe...it's still fun...anyway...I'm going...to...bed...maybe...

I don't want to grow up...I'm a toys 'r us kid......BAH!
Wonderful news...it's springbreak, and I'm fucking grounded. Damned parents. O well...I'll find a way to get out...sneek out, I'll have to "work"...who knows. I also just found out that my manager doesn't have me working at all this week, which really pisses me off because I need money to pay for prom. O well...I'll find a way. So, yeah, I was talking to my ma today, and she's like, give me your car keys...you're grounded from your wheels. So, I say, fair enough...give her my keys, then she's like, you need to find a full time job for this summer. I say, okay, then give me my keys, I need to go job searching tomorrow. She says, no. You're grounded, remember?? What the fuck. How the hell does she expect me to fill out applications when I'm stuck at home!!!! I'm not fucking superman or anything. Jesus. Then she tells me I owe her $1660 by Oct. 1 for insurance. I say, okay. Give me my keys so I can go find a job tomorrow. She says, no. You're grounded. What a confused little bitch...

This Fri. I'm getting new front rotors, new brake pads and shoes and new spark plugs in my car. So I'm happy about that. I love driving. It's so relaxing to me. One of the greatest feelings to me is driving down a beautiful tree-lined road that twists around hills, rivers, whatever. It's great.

I miss you. The person I'm talking about knows who they are. I just want to spend time with you. Now that I'm not seeing you everyday, you're taking over my thoughts. I want to spend time with you. Go out, party, or just sit at home and watch a movie. I just want to feel your touch again. O well...I'm emailing you right now, so this seems pretty pointless...so...call me when you get a chance.

Love ya,
Sean

gossiping bastards
People need to keep their damn mouths shut. In general. People talking about things they didn't know about caused me great amounts of undue stress. Now they are causing me more. I take that back. People expressing their opinions about people when they don't know them and don't take the time to get to know them are causing me stress. In the past 2 weeks, I've probably had a good dozen people ask me my reasons for being w/ Chrissy. They've asked me if she was a whore, slut, if I'm w/ her just to get laid, and even why I'm with her. You know what? Fuck all of you. I have known her longer than anyone in this damn school. I have taken the time to get to know her, and I know what kind of person she really is. I know what she's done. And I don't give a fuck. I'm "with" her because I love spending my time with her. We get along perfectly, we enjoy doing the same things, and we both care about each other. I don't understand you people. You put down someone you know nothing about for illegitimate reasons, then you come to school the next day or week or hour, whatever, with a new sex story. YOU, my hypocritical fuck monkey of a friend, are the whore. If I just wanted sex, I would go to one of the many "junior sluts" in our school. But I want a friendship more than anything. She is the world to me. So, the next time ANYONE thinks about opening their mouths you better make sure I'm not around or hear about it because I will slap you so fucking hard that you will not be able to speak for the next six months, understood? Good. Now get the fuck out of my private life you brown-nosing asshole.

boredom
Well, I'm sitting in the library right now...I should be at TA, but o well. There are only 4 weeks left in my highschool career. To me, that is very scary. I have no idea how I will afford college, my car, or anything else. My life for the next 4 yrs. will consist mostly of work, sleep, and school. That sucks. O well.

Does anyone know of any decent restaurants in Grand Rapids that won't bankrupt me? If you do, I'm looking for ideas.

I finally brought pictures for the senior video...my ma went through all of my baby pics and picked out a bunch. I put a bunch of them back...either because they were too embarrasing, bad pictures, or just cuz I didn't like them.

I can't wait for next week...spring break, and Chrissy's ungrounded...that means we can go out which we haven't done in a while...can't wait. But I need to go to the middle school now...so cheerio and talk to you peoples later...

Sean

It's over!!!
Finally. Musical is over with. I enjoyed it, but the practices were getting old. Sat. performance was, I think, the best one we've done. The cast party was pretty gay...the pizza was about the best part. Me and Z left and went to the theatre. Got in to see most of Ice Age for free cuz Troy was in there...sweet...Then went to Robbie's house till a little after 1 a.m. That was fun. Me and Katie P played pool, and we all just chilled (me, Ryan, Robbie, Katie P, and Z). Then, I went home, and slept till 1 p.m. today.

I would have had a lot more fun if I was with Chrissy. I miss spending time with that girl outside of school. Ever since her ma grounded her, that hasn't been much of a choice. O well...next Tuesday we're going to do something...I don't care what. I just want to be with her. I love her. She loves me. Nobody else matters when we're together. O well...I'm gonna go "pick up my check" now...it's really just an excuse to get away from physics for a while...peace!

Sean

The most hypocritical, single minded bitch I have ever known
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! That's all I can think of. I know what you're going through. She is being completely unreasonable in her actions, and you don't deserve that. You are better than that...you are better than her. It just pisses me right the fuck off when someone I care about so much is being treated so unfairly by their own mother. Everyday she finds a new way to yell at you. The other night it was over-loading the fucking washing machine...and she had to call my house to tell you that!!!! She doesn't realize that all she is doing by yelling at you and grounding you all the time is that she's just pushing you away. Instead of talking to you, and listening to what you have to say, she is just assuming everything she hears or thinks she heard or saw is the absolute truth. Today, when you were telling me about it, and we hugged, I felt like crying just because everything was going better for the both of us. I wanted to wrap myself around you to protect anything that might happen to you. I hate seeing you like that. You don't deserve this treatment. No matter what happens, just know that I will always be there for you. Use me as your physical and emotional punching bag. Let it all flow out, and just keep it coming. Just please, don't keep it all to yourself. Not telling your loved ones about it will make things worse in the long run. Whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to hold you, or someone to talk to, I will be more than willing to wipe your tears away, wrap my arms around you, or someone to discuss your feelings and emotions. It hurts to see you like this.

Love you,
Sean