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2006 7 January :: 4.48pm
:: Mood: yawning
:: Music: none
winter camp '06
whoa, shit.
this weekend was interesting. but i'm glad to be back in the real world. ordinarily, i like a break from the real world, but since my real world has been completely messed up for like the last year, i think i would appreciate a little bit of reality much more than detachment from it.
speaking of detachment, in addition to bob (my inaugural experience) rich brought a fifth of Jägermeister, which we did in rounds. and bruce brought a fifth of crown royal, which we did in rounds.
i tried a labatt blue and a corona, but beer just is totally not my thing. i much prefer the harder liquor, in smaller quantities. it just makes more sense to me. plus i think with my stomach thing, i just can't handle all the carbonation. i can only drink non-carbonated alcohol, apparently.
but yeah. i was thinking this was a caffeine headache, but upon review, it may be a hangover. i didn't realize i drank that much. whoa.
needless to say, i'll be starting as big a health kick as possible from someone as lazy as me, as soon as i get to school.
which is TOMORROW!!! SO EXCITED!!! i get to see the GIRLS again!!!
after a weekend in the woods with a bunch of drunk guys bandying about homo-erotic insults, the girls are going to be a wonderful change of pace. this is going to be fantastic!!
ah. and now, for a coke! (just in case this is a caffeine headache like i first suspected.)
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2006 5 January :: 1.50am
:: Music: ben kweller
gunnie, you sick fuck!
I LIKE IT!
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2006 4 January :: 1.39am
:: Mood: wanting to be sleepy. but it weren't.
:: Music: dav brubeck
went to the hookah lounge again tonight. hung out with rob. probably go up there tomorrow and play for awhile. i'm super excited about that.
winter camping thurs/fri/sat
move in sunday. class monday.
this is happening so fast. but since i know i'm not going to be ready, i'll simply prepare for my unpreparedness... which requires a surprising amount of advance preparation.
i watched the road runner dvd today. that was good. bugs bunny will be a good one too, i'm sure. i'd like to see marvin the martian and "hossenfeffer" and all those old things. it was fun to see speedy. and like i said, coyote today. and foghorn leghorn. and pepé. oh, so good.
maybe i'll remember to bring the lappy tomorrow or something. i have to get a bunch of stuff i've forgotten at kevin's. my blanket, sweater, cell phone, bag of candy, shock mount, etc.
i'm such a doof.
NOW GET TIRED, DAMN IT!
g'night.
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2006 2 January :: 11.29pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: that buddy rich tribute...
teh '06
well, as in a birthday, the new year doesn't feel any different. i mean, there are phases and horizons and beginnings and endings all the time. and no calendar can dictate when and where and why, as far as i'm concerned. but still, i'm looking forward to experiencing new things, and many of them are bound to happen at some point during 2006. but i have no idea what they are, who they involve, or precisely when they will happen. but i suppose that's the fun of it.
spent the weekend at kevin's. that was a blast, but i got kinda pissed at his dad. i'll try not to take it personally. i half-installed his cd-spieler, which i'd rate around 90% complete, but he's happy and that's what counts. and honestly, it was a fairly clean install... just not complete. i'm definitely getting better at it, slowly but surely. and the wiring junk was fun. dad said it sounded like he had factory "premium sound", hence all the bullshit. but the 6disc changer i'm half certain was aftermarket. it could really be either, i suppose.
i went to hunter's last night, and we talked for like 2 hours. i've never connected with anybody like that before, other than my dad. and it was just so different and so amazing, and i really want to do it again. i know, make your gay jokes, i'm totally setting myself up for them. but i mean this very seriously. i mean, c'mon, the kid's dad committed suicide. i'm not gonna start laughing about that shit. but it was just amazing. and he's helping me realize my own genius, but at the same time, he's even more brilliant than i could ever be, so it keeps my ego in check. it doesn't make me superior to the rest of the world. just different. and i think i like different. and all the different kinds of ingenuity there are. it's just so cool.
it's bedtime soon. a little more surfing to do, but i'm more or less finished.
possibly hookah bar tomorrow. rob's back in town. winter camp this week.
good things to look forward to. oh, i got some of my books today too. i'll have to go to ubs and brian's for the rest. meh.
g'night!
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2005 30 December :: 12.48am
monseignor in town...
Your French Name is:
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Sinjon Jacquemin
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isn't that exciting?
i went ice skating today at the amphitheater. saw tanya and julie and a couple other guys. they were celebrating megan's birthday. i thought that was neat, and it was good to see them. and i talked to jessie wilde on the phone for awhile, which was nice.
shopping tomorrow day. bowling tomorrow night. sex to follow bowling. then saturday is kevin's birthday. should be fun. not sure what's gonna happen. but i have a list. :) it's never going to get finished.
goodnight.
okay, one more:
You Passed 8th Grade Math
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Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!
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surprised, right? oh, if only that were impressive.
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2005 27 December :: 7.58pm
:: Mood: lazy bastard
:: Music: SOAD - hypnotize
christmas, etc...
well, i guess i made the dean's list at school for the fall semester. here are the stats:
Communications: A
German: A-
EuroCiv 215: B
EuroCiv 216: A-
GPA: 3.608
okay, lumping christmas and birthday gifts into one (because i'm a materialistic prick...) here's the final tally:
jones soda holiday pack
various assortment of planters nuts
a collection of su doku puzzles
an electric razor (not a beard trimmer... but a real live shaver-shaver)
the worst-case scenario survival handbook: extreme edition
an aluminum water bottle (for winter camp)
an led flashlight (winter camp)
plier/ratchet multi-tool thing.
black and white plaid pajama pants (SCORE!!!)
some real winter gloves
a digital camera keychain (supposedly it really works... we'll try that out later)
a krispy kreme t-shirt & gift certificate from libby.
a travel alarm clock (WTF?! meh, whatever. bruce likes getting us useless stuff and then watching us try to pretend to be excited. he just thinks it's funny. i just get kind of annoyed.)
printer/scanner/copier with ink and set of USB adapters/cables
a bath sheet and matching hand towel. (SCORE AGAIN! DOUBLE TRUE!!)
a tin of popcorn with poker chips and cards on top (again, why? it's the thought that counts, right?)
ratcheting box wrenches for the car (on a scale of one to awesome, these are FREAKIN' SWEET!)
a pair of pro mark TX2BW drumsticks. yummy. with a gift certificate to guitar center. from grandma wright.
a couple of gift certificates to kohls (i guess that's why i didn't get much in the way of clothes this year)
and a whole bunch of dvds:
- queen: live at wembley stadium
- Experience Jimi Hendrix (a british documentary... should be interesting and cool)
- the ladies' man (to replace my scratched copy)
- office space: special edition, with flair (i still haven't seen it yet. giddy though)
- napoleon dynamite (oh, c'mon. self-explanatory awesomeness)
- the 40 year-old virgin (YES! YESS!! YESSS!!!)
- life of brian (date with the goyles, fo sho)
- Looney Tunes - Golden Collection: Vols. I & II (dad said there's a vol. III, but we'll wait a bit on that one. this is 8 discs of pure comedic ecstasy / nostalgia!!! i'm never leaving the house again.)
CDs:
311 - Music
311 - don't tread on me
and today i bought myself some new blank CDs, and SOAD - hypnotize. which i really like.
i'm sure there's more i'm forgetting.
went to the hookah bar, then morningstar, with kevin and teh fil. that was lots of fun. coffee and smoking; pretty hard to go wrong. and we also played a game of pool, which i won. but kevin really should've, i was not on my game, but still, it was good. come to think of it, i won euchre against him at the coffeehouse too. damn, now i feel bad.
i hate how now that christmas is over, everyone simply looks to the next holiday. maybe if people didn't start with christmas as soon as they were finished giving thanks, they wouldn't be so hot to get a move on.
i'm still celebrating, dammit! :)
love you guys. seriously. just keep it on the dl. we don't want to ruin my tough-guy image.
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2005 21 December :: 6.00pm
can't remember what i was going to say.
i'm super buff, but all this food is making me cushy.
last day of work tomorrow. gonna see hunter.
brain ceasing to function.
missing all my girls (kevin and addison included, of course.)
and my boys too...
later :)
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2005 18 December :: 6.18pm
birthday tomorrow...
stuff and the thing.
i work at 7:30 tomorrow. but it's good to get off my ass and make some dough.
it was cool to see dav and dorkus and allyson again.
i'll be chillin' at my crib until bedtime...
*smiles and sexiness*
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2005 15 December :: 11.22am
:: Mood: partially exhausted
i like books
i hung out with the gals last night. we went shopping at the mall and stuff. it was really quite fun. but we stayed up a little too late.
i think we went to bed at like 4... and got up at like 9, for breakfast. and i didn't sleep very heavily (probably because i was on the floor). ellen left for home at like 10:30. katie leaves tomorrow at noon. i'll probably leave in a few minutes.
or whenever i get off my lazy ass and get around to it.
it's probably bad that i'm such an open book. certain things shouldn't be said, yet i still say them. sometimes it's funny, but when you need to be serious... well, i'm just not your man, i guess.
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2005 13 December :: 1.15am
:: Mood: bedtime... good times.
:: Music: SOAD - toxicity
penguins:
"Penguins shoot their poop appx 3 feet.
But once a year they hold an annual poop shoot fair and all the penguins gather to shoot their poop.
The penguin record for poop shooting is 11 feet, 3 inches, held by an emperor penguin which was rumored to have been fed White Castle for the week prior to the event."
- Rich (a.k.a. Buddha)
.
.
.
that pretty much sums it up right there. i spent a lot of time studying with ellen. i got to talk to katie 1 on 1 for awhile too. and i did laundry. all in all, it was productive and i enjoyed myself. let's hope tomorrow proves to be similar. i'm debating on whether or not i should set my alarm. i'm leaning towards no.
and i'm really thinking about a nice long walk through the scenic parts of campus. yepper. that's sounding super-fantabulous.
g'night.
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m&ms487
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2005 12 December :: 3.38pm
I've been so tired lately. I've gotten an average of ten hours a sleep a night, and still it does not seem to be enough. I don't have time to sleep, I have too many things to do. Too much homework, working, blah I have to call them. Blah Blah.
I want to cry. My body hurts. All I want to do is sleep. I'm drinking a mountain dew in hopes of staying awake until five.
I have an essay to write. I hate fricken ap lit. what a bitch.
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2005 12 December :: 12.06pm
i realized that i totally ragged on everyone who commented on my last entry. sorry, i know you were just trying to help, and i shot you all down. apologies. i'm just more than a little frustrated... whether it's with myself or with the situation. i really do appreciate the thoughts and help. it has not fallen on deaf ears, however deaf they may appear to be.
in other news, i just got my ass reamed at book buyback. seriously. i took 4 or 5 books from my HNR 215 class and got approximately $12. i paid like $50 for them USED! expensive lesson... but valuable.
and it helped to talk to hunter. i'm not going to cram. i'm not even going to study. i'm simply going to refresh my memory, and that will be enough. i've never studied for a test before in my life. why start now? i'm telling you. that kid is pure, undiluted genius. i need that from time to time. or all the time.
oke doke. almost done with school. time for lunch now...
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2005 10 December :: 4.39pm
due to popular complaint about my previous ambiguity...
WARNING: SAPPY ROMANCE BULLSHIT (please stop reading if you don't wish to hear my current situation. i won't be offended, honest.)
there's this girl that lives in my dorm. her name is katie. i like katie... she's funny and smart and cute and all that good stuff. upon logical discussion of the situation... i was "friended" by katie... friended being the opposite of "girlfriended". which from a logical standpoint, makes sense. it would be silly to get in a serious relationship.
so, my brain is hunky dory. but the situation gives rise to some very intense, internal, emotional ruckus. pushing me a little closer to insanity than i already was to begin with (scary eh?).
and so, i just like hanging out with katie, which we did last night (but not alone). i just have a hard time coping with the feelings generally associated with hanging out with katie... or rather, once we're done hanging out, and i realize i have to go back to my bed and sleep and be lonely like.
to add to the awkwardness, last night hunter was trying to convince me i need to hook up with his ex-girlfriends twin sister. now, i'm not saying that's necessarily a bad idea. but emotionaly complex... especially when katie is sitting right there, asking me what i think.
so, obviously something needs to happen to me to make me stop liking katie like this, or to push katie and i together... which just doesn't make sense to do. and so, honestly, i really want to stop liking katie. but try as i might, it's not working.
so that's where we sit. hopefully this clears things up some, for those interested parties. and anyone who's not interested... then just ignore me already.
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2005 10 December :: 1.55am
:: Mood: sleepy = sappy
:: Music: dave brubeck - someday my prince will come
someday...
someday my prince will come for me. but until then... i'm left to dream.
i had a lot of fun tonight. too much fun perhaps. it's amazing how difficult it is to just be friends. feelings suck. but yet they're the best ever.
and i inadvertently got buzzed off a double-shot of whiskey. whoopsy dupsy. i forgot i hadn't eaten... and i drank it kinda fast. oh well, it happens. and it was a fun half-hour or so, anyway. and the look on ellen's face when she had a sip was absolutely priceless. and katie refrained... at which point i felt like a bad friend. but she really didn't seem to mind. i don't know what to make of her. i really don't. mostly because i just don't want to believe it, i guess. i don't know what needs to happen for this to make sense, but i want it to happen sooner than later already. grr. whatcha gonna do, right?
just be friends... that's what you're going to do. and quit your bitching... you're going to do that as well.
one exam to go! then i'm done with my first ever semester of college. hopefully i don't fail college and they kick me out and never want to see me again. then again, it might be somewhat of a relief.
i'll do fine. but for now, i have to be social.
goodnight, lovebirds.
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2005 8 December :: 3.20pm
So the line for the computer lab has been unusually long for the last three weeks. So I'm sitting in an empty classroom.
I am extremely hesitant about the future right now. None of the classes I need fit together for next semester, not to mentioned the severely strained financial state that another semester's tution payment would put me in right now. I think I'm going to have to wait until the spring/summer semester to get the classes I need.
That puts me in a difficult position at work. Mostly because I know if I am not going to school that they are going to expect me to work full time. Despite the fact that a tution payment would set me back a good bit, I really am not in dire financial straits. I really would prefer to keep working around thrity hours a week and find something useful to do with my time and maintain the status I have now, which is essentially that I get any time I ask for off. Plus, when it comes to softball season, I'm going to need that extra time.
To refrain from getting too sappy in my entry, but I love her so much. Mica, I knw that no one else reads your journal on a regular basis but me, but people do read mine. And I want them to know that I have never been happier in a relationship in my entire life. I love you and I looked forward to waking up in the morning knowing that you are mine.
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2005 7 December :: 8.58pm
:: Music: RHCP - californication
seriously... this feeling can go away any time now... i won't mind, honest.
and just gar.
cut it out.
feelings suck donkey balls. and a chode. feelings suck a donkey chode punch balls ass cock penis rape anal dwelling butt monkey.
.
.
.
i still don't feel better, even after all that. dammit!
EARMUFFS!
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2005 6 December :: 6.57pm
:: Mood: shaky
:: Music: extreme - warheads
jared just came and sang "god rest ye, merry, gentle fags" to me. it was full of good tidings and cashmere. and armani, and something else.
i should probably get to work now. as always.
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2005 5 December :: 9.11pm
well, that was a blindside.
enter deloric/tracey stage left.
right. gonna focus. gonna do homework now.
may never speak german in here again, and save myself the embarrassment.
then again, it might help me improve.
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2005 5 December :: 7.27pm
:: Mood: tired.
hm.
well this weekend was lots of fun. friday i went to hunter's but didn't spend the night. watched planes, trains, and automobiles, which really kinda sucked. but i had fun anyway. i'm afraid i may have scared katie a little. been a little too forward. but she took it well. and it was fun to play ellen in pool. we'll have to do that again sometime.
saturday i took the car down to saugatuck after grandma's birthday party. got the pickup in cedar. went to dad's, dinner and a movie (christmas vacation) and crashed. sunday was church and grandpa & grandma's, then MIVE KK g2g, then S.O.A.P. downtown, because katie and jim and natey-poo were acting. after the show katie and shannon and i had dinner at the shawmut inn... which i hadn't been to in several years. the highlight was probably the drunk guy telling the bad joke about how the army was better than the marines.
today was class. and my appt. with Chris hendree. my brain is mush for some reason. i hate waking up late. it totally screws with me. i forgot to get the snowball tickets, but i'll get them later.
bunches of other crap. homework to do right now.
i think it would be fun to write an exotic story. then again, maybe not.
it would just be fun to write a story period.
well, i've rambled for long enough. oh, i also did my radio show last night. which is why i overslept.
g'night.
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2005 1 December :: 12.07am
:: Mood: pleasant
:: Music: incubus - out from under
Du gebeißt mich!
shut up, okay! so what if i suck at past-tense conjugation? always naysaying. you fucking dick! you create something, you piece of shit!
anyway.
revising my paper. gonna fail my german quiz tomorrow. personally i suspect that "go-get-em" attitude to be at fault for my lack of progress.
but at least i'm laughing and smiling and regular again. fiber is a beautiful thing.
i think i'll go to bed soon. a couple more quotes. then more cleaning tomorrow during lunch. good thing my lunch is from 10am-1pm. \m/ !!!!
yum yum.
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2005 29 November :: 10.03pm
:: Mood: sexy
bowel movements
i seem to be doing much better. i think i'm finally becoming healthy again.
wrote my paper for my history class today. it sucked. i'll rewrite it and hand it in again thursday, and see if she'll give me a better grade.
speech tomorrow for COM, and the unit 5 test auf Deutsch.
fun times, fun times. i'm only slightly insane, honest.
and kind of... empty, somehow. not sure what it is, or how to make it quit. but it's seriously starting to irk me. maybe if i ignore it, it'll just go away.
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2005 28 November :: 1.10am
:: Music: somnambulant ramblings, on wcks.org
i have a microphone and you don't.
so you'll just have to listen to EVERY DAMN WORD I SAY!
yeah. thanksgiving was cool. i have the runs again. oversharing? yeah, i know.
i really should've just gone to bed.
i've been feeling kinda crappy for awhile now. physically and otherwise. just crappy. but apparently i'm losing weight.
oop. time to talk again.
later, b.
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m&ms487
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2005 26 November :: 11.20pm
:: Mood: cold
So many things to do, so little time to squeeze them all in. Everything is crazy busy, and I need to get together with my english group. I have a feeling we're going to be half assing our way to a B.
I swear I can hear music comming from somewhere in this house, but everytime I walk around I can't find the source. Maybe I'm finally going crazy. Maybe my house is haunted. These things I do not know.
Whatever it is, it has a good beat.
I think I figured out the reason why I shake when I drink. See, I get cold really easy, and when you drink you're body thinks it feels hot, and your blood vessels open up to let off the heat, which isn't really there, so it cools you when you're not hot, making your normal body temperature go down instead of a hot temperature go to normal. Then I shake because I'm cold. Just shivering, that's all that it is.
This imaginary music is driving me fucking nuts.
I want to be done, I want to be out. I'm not quite sure what I want to be doing instead, but just not this. All this shit. I hate it. I don't want to be stuck anywhere, I want to do what I want. I guess that's what everyone wants, but, as in Ethan Frome, "only the smart ones get away."
I hope I'm one of the smart ones.
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2005 24 November :: 1.47am
i'm feeling much better now. thanks everyone!
and a happy thanksgiving to you as well...
Powered by
PhotoEcards.com
hope that worked. i thought it was a cool shot. ten points to anyone who recognizes where it's at.
3 times in one week is just too much damn harry potter. i'm sorry. but it's starting to grate, just a little.
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2005 23 November :: 3.06pm
:: Music: The theme from "Rent"
I just realized that I am in a society that was created just for me. Everywhere I go I see people like me. I go to school, people like me. I go anywhere and that is all I see. I turn on the television and there are more people like me. No news channel that has a black anchor, no lasting television show with Asian characters. Everywhere I go, this society was created for me. Then why am I so restless? So angry?
I'm angry at society for having put us in this place. A place where I don't feel like I could stop and help someone on the street. A society that tells me that all this was created for me and I should be happy for it. I should enjoy the things I've been handed in life. A job, a car, a college education. Yes, I worked for those things, so did my parents. But how did that produce someone like me. Someone who is lazy and does what has to be done just to get by. Individualism. I am an individual, but does that mean that I need to isolate myself from others. To become uncaring, unfeeling. We don't yet understand. We don't yet know that consequences of what is about to happen.
I doubt things can keep going on like this for much longer though. So focused on us, on what we want, we neglect what others want. Society is about sublimating your desires for the greater good. But somehow we've changed that. We've changed the greater good into something that can be bought or sold. Something that has material value. The greater good of society is not for everyone to possess iPod. The greater good of society is not to all eat at McDonalds. The greater good of society is not to "Be like Mike." But we've tricked ourselves into believing that. We believe that money will buy happiness. It might, but only for awhile. The only thing that can truly bring happiness is love.
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2005 22 November :: 2.00pm
that was a most unpleasant experience.
but i seem to be doing better now. and all my drink seems to be staying down. i just had a piece of bread. we'll see how that goes.
i'm missing my class. ugh.
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2005 22 November :: 12.59am
I don't usually do quizes, but this one interested me. I'm not sure if all that can be determined from a few questions, or if I even agree with their scale.
You fit in with:
Taoism
Your ideals mostly resemble those of the Taoist faith. Spirituality is the most important thing in your life. You strive to live by all of your ideals, and live a very intellectually focused life.
40% spiritual.
20% reason-oriented.
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Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
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2005 21 November :: 4.19pm
check out the Solare website at www.soundclick.com
cool stuff. and me playing crappy drums. the only one that's semi-finished really is "kiss me".
but more to come, more to come.
i need to write a paper. and read several reams of stuff. and learn how to speak german.
by tomorrow.
smile!
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2005 20 November :: 1.39am
:: Mood: sleepy-weepy time
ghouls... i mean goyles. shit.
yesterday was fun. and so was today, for that matter.
yesterday i went shopping with ellen and katie. then we went on a bridge walk downtown (pizomp points), then we went to hunter's for pizza and a movie. we watched "love actually" i liked it a lot.
we also sang karaoke on this video game thing. it was weird. even more weird, my best song was "oops i did it again" by britney spears. oh well. the ladies were impressed with my falsetto. i think hunter was too, but he did a good job of hiding it. and honestly, he wasn't too shabby himself. a very good michael jackson - of jackson 5 no less.
i suppose i ought to join cuddle-sluts anonymous. population: us.
today i went with dad, libby, and kathy to see the goblet of fire at the IMAX. it was really cool and all. there was some stuff i didn't like. some stuff i did. i'm really still not sure how it all balances out, so i'm reserving official judgement. but it was certainly well done from a cinematic standpoint. neat camerawork and everything.
then rich's 40th birthday party. that was fun too. tomorrow is jackie and mom's and rob's and homework and radio show. monday is "write a paper and do german" day. and laundry also.
shit shit shit. i'll have to see if ellen has finished the reading yet. i just remembered it, and it's gonna take hella ever. oh well. no rest for the wicked, or whatever it is.
g'nightz!
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2005 17 November :: 5.02pm
So I'm not going to bore you all by posting the gigantic paper that I just finished writing. It feels so good, it really does. To have something that large and unwieldly out of the way is just a great relief. I am majorly looking forward to this weekend. Nothing to do but work and spend time with Mica.
If any of you want me to post my 15.5 page paper, with 2 pages of endnotes, just let me know and I would be more than willing to torture you all.
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