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2005 16 November :: 5.17pm
and i was having a good day too. why did i let it get to me?
good riddance to bad rubbish, i say.
gar. i have such a weak constitution sometimes.
this is seriously stupid. i've gotta stop.
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2005 16 November :: 12.34am
:: Mood: confused (perpetually)
:: Music: DMB - Typical Situation
gah. in other news, i'm incredibly lame.
but i squeaked out an 80% on that paper. obviously not my best effort, but i was glad just not to have sucked total ass.
i'm seriously slacking in the german dept. i did the software, but i need to study more for the vocab quiz in the morning. and i didn't do any of the book work, because it requires all sorts of internet research. which i translate into a lot of frustration and a 3am bedtime. no sir. chris needs his beauty sleep.
so, that's why i suck.
but i helped ellen out tonight. and i vacuumed. and i did dishes.
so i must not be a complete waste of space ;)
if feelings suck, why am i such a whore for them. it's that whole "i'm a little kid again" thing going on. just lots of stuff that i haven't felt. and i don't get it. and i don't know what to do about it. but i kind of like it. i just don't know if i'm being stupid or not.
shut up, brain! and slow down, chris!
be the tortoise, be the tortoise!
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2005 14 November :: 11.15am
:: Music: the mahavishnu orchestra - birds of fire
can you say bullshit? because i can...
HNR 215C
Paper Topic #3
Due Tuesday, November 29, IN CLASS
5-7 pages
One of the central questions the Enlightenment raised was whether or not civilization (the culture of learning, ideas, and writing) was a moral force. Define the Enlightenment, discuss its origins, and analyze whether or not it made Europe a better place.
Your response must use Galileo, Voltaire, Mary Wollstonecraft, Olaudah Equiano, and Cowans. Please use both Candide and The Philosophical Dictionary.
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2005 14 November :: 2.37am
resemblance?
vs.
eh?
or not.
first radio show was tonight.
i had a good set list. only a couple of screw ups. not very charismatic.
pretty standard, actually. it's college radio anyway. dead air ... um ... dead air.
katie's home. ellen has her guiding star back :)
i felt like i was letting her down with my lack of instruction.
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2005 13 November :: 2.06am
:: Mood: nervous?
this is absolutely wild.
hunter's was a blast. he's always so fun, in his own weird way. i don't know what it is.
it was sad this time without katie there, but that's okay. nobody to impress or freak out about. i'm cool with that.
then ellen's DDR party was this evening. i'm actually getting halfway decent at the "beginner" stuff. i'm almost ready to go on to "light".
so so very lame, i am.
and then ellen and i went and took showers. then we watched "the ladies' man" and ate some food and stuff. and we also commiserated about the absence of katie for awhile. but it was all really good natured.
i sincerely hope that jackie honestly feels good about being rid of me. that's what i would like for her to feel. mom was concerned... about something else. but i don't think it will be an issue. or at least, i hope it won't be. if it is, jiminy cricket may never forgive me. but that's okay, i guess. you have to do the best you can. and work out twice a day. don't ask me why i said it. because i already forgot...
i just want to be sure i'm doing the right thing. which is like, never. i really don't know. and god really doesn't appear to feel like letting me in on the secret any time soon. 'salright. i wouldn't expect her to. him to. it to.
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2005 11 November :: 10.41am
*SB voice* : weirded out!
it's incredible the things i apparently say without actually saying them.
it all seems to happen so fast.
i guess it's better that i can't keep up. if i could, i'd be totally freaked out.
.
i accidentally bumped into some girl on my way out of german today. it totally caught me off guard. we were kinda mutually oblivious. i suppose it was very antisocial of me, but i just walked away without saying anything. she kept apologizing, but i was just as at fault as she was. and no harm, no foul, right?
communications test at 1. i think i'll take the bus to class.
hunters at 6 tonight. have to get in touch with ellen, and see when she wants to leave.
big wheel keeps a-spinnin' around. or something.
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2005 10 November :: 8.37pm
:: Mood: pensive
i hate being a jerk, but i hate having her think i'm pretending to be something i'm not. or maybe i am pretending. i don't know.
not anymore, i guess.
not that i ever was. i can't act. but even the normal me can be misleading sometimes.
i have a feeling that this holiday season is not going to be like the times of old. which will take some getting used to, most certainly.
*
hm. i'll keep doing my thing. well, it's not my thing, it's dad's thing. i just borrow it for times like this. hope it works.
in other news, i nearly forgot i have a german essay due in 12 hours. plenty of time. just annoying, as i thought i was going to sit down and watch a movie, only to be writing a paper instead.
can't always get what you want. then again, i guess i always do.
nope. gotta stop that. get it out of my HEAD!
geht aus meinem schwammkopf. ? nein. das ist sehr falsch... ich habe kein schwammkopf. ich habe ein schweinkopf. ja. das ist gut.
my grammar is abysmal. ich bin SCREWED!
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2005 9 November :: 9.15pm
:: Mood: slightly irked
ist es das Deutsches Uhr?
on a completely unrelated note:
yeah. i don't know. i'm not sure how i should feel about it at the moment.
i guess just hope for the best.
Heute, sehr viel Hausaufgaben.
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2005 8 November :: 11.25pm
:: Mood: tired?
shit
i'm beginning to realize how much confidence i've lost lately.
but i haven't yet ascertained why...
not that i was ever that confident to begin with. but i'm really getting shaky. and it totally compounds itself. and i don't know how to stop it. i guess just hanging around people who are willing to tell me how awesome i am. but they have to be people who i respect, and will believe.
and even if i am that awesome, i seem to be letting it all go to waste.
nicht gut. sehr mal. wait. mal is spanisch. oh, nevermind.
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2005 6 November :: 5.48pm
this weekend was wonderful. i had such an awesome time with jackie. it was the best. but now back to the grind. write a speech, read a book... you know the drill.
there's more i'm sure, but i just don't feel like talking about it right now.
oh... kathy got us tickets to go see harry potter 4 at the IMAX opening weekend.
i'm super-duper excited about that.
there, now you have your gossip, and you can leave me the hell alone.
:)
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2005 4 November :: 9.12pm
This is a letter that I just sent to one of my Latin American history profs. Read it and see if you agree with my assessment, or just read it and learn about something you didn't know about.
Professor Aragon,
I have been monitoring today's events and I cannot help but feel that this may be a watershed event for US-Latin American relations.
The Summit of the Americas has stirred up so much controversy both in Latin America and here. On some of the talk shows on cable news the hosts wee asking so-called experts (which were mostly former defense department or administration officials) why the protesters were protesting. They asked if it was just because they don't like President Bush, or if they really had that big of a problem with Iraq. It seemed kind of strange because it suggested that those were the only two reasons that people would protest against the US.
What really got to me was a reairing of an address that Hugo Chavez gave at the protest rally. While steeped in blatantly socialist rhetoric (the downfall of capitalism and whatnot), he might have been making sense. He talked about an alternative to the American led trade agreements (FTAA I think was what he was talking about). He wanted to form something called ALBA (the Bolivarian Alternative for the Peoples of Latin America). He said that this was losely based on the agreement that Venezuela already had with Cuba. He called it an alliance in the political, social and economic realms. His outline seemed quite convincing. He talked about Venezuela's generosity with oil. Such as new agreements that they have with Argentina and Uruguay to provide oil to them at a 40% discount, a three year grace period on payment with a 25 year payment period at 1% interest. Another thing that seemed to be a revision on American led programs was that he advocated for payment in the form of goods and services. Instead of paying with money, he said, Argentina could pay with pregnant heifers.
No matter what he actually says he seems to be pushing all the right buttons. He mentioned just about everything that would seem important in Latin American politics today. He talked about religion and his strong belief in Christianity. He spoke of most of the great independence leaders of Latin America (Bolivar, San Martin, O'Higgins, de Miranda, Marti, even Eva Peron). And about native peoples (and the working class, but that is also par for the course for socialism). I know that he is trying to orchestrate a very real alternative to the US role in the region. It is also of no doubt that he sees Venezuela, and himself as the leader of that movement. It just seems like it may be very well possible. Or am I just wrong? I would appreciate your insight on this issue.
Your student,
Charlie Campbell
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2005 3 November :: 5.58pm
I've been accepted to CMU. They sent me a t-shirt today. It's a very bright white. I like its newness.
So much as been going on lately. I leave for school in the morning when it's dark out, and I get home when it's dark outside. It's almost as if there was never a day at all. But of course that would be false, because even if I don't see it, it's still there, right? I hope so.
All state band auditions are saturday. I'm not sure I'm as prepared as I should be. I've been practicing between three and five hours a day for a little over the past week. My tone is getting a lot better (recovering from the horridness of piccolo). I'm still nervous, though. I guess I've talked myself into believing that it doesn't matter if I get in or not, but it does. It's one of the only things that I'll be able to do. I can't go to CMU's workshop, I can't go to CMU's honors band, I can't go to EMU's honors band. This is about the last thing that I'll be able to do where I'll be challenged and not have to play horridly easy music with people who don't know how to play their fucking instrument.
But I rant.
My eighteenth birthday is a month from tomorrow. Work will be happy because then I can sell lottery and tobacco at the service desk. As much as I want to kill people who run that place, I still can't help but fantasize that someday I could get a degree in marketing or something and be a higher executive than all of them and fire them because they're stupid. I don't think that they realize that they expect too much out of people they only pay six dollars an hour to. I see so many people there that are intelligent and should be doing something, but no, they work for a measly six dollars an hour and will never do any better. The waste of potential disgusts me.
Whenever I am there I feel as though some goodness, some intelligent part of me is dying. Everytime someone yells at me because meijer screwed them over I feel like saying "You know what? They're screwing me over too. I get paid fucking six dollars and hour to stand here and take your shit for them, and guess what, they don't care, even if I do get a manager and they listen to you and assure you they'll 'look into it', nothing is going to happen. You standing here yelling at me is doing neither of us any good, and nothing is going to change because frankly all that corporate does care about are numbers, their profit, how many defective items they can pass off you to, how many times they can screw you over by not pricing things and you aren't a number, you're a real person, just like me, and therefore, they don't care. So fuck off."
End rant.
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2005 3 November :: 3.58pm
:: Mood: oh my gosh.
this is funny shit.
Thu, Nov 03, 2005 -- GVHNR215_216.C.053:
POUR MARDI 8 NOVEMBRE
S’il vous plaît, lire les articles DIEU, EGALITÉ, EZECHIEL, FANATISME, GUERRE, INONDATION, INQUISITION, JOB, MAÎTRE, PATRIE, PAUL.
Posted by DAVID EICK
this is for my honors course, he just posted it on blackboard. my honors course is supposedly studying a history of european civilizations with a focus on spain.
so, why exactly did they give us someone from the french dept? that's twice now he has inadvertently regressed into french. the first time was a powerpoint about the FRENCH encyclopédie. and now we're reading voltaire's philisophical dictionary. translated from its original french. sometimes i wonder.
it's fun though. and they're absolutely brilliant. i mean it's just some incredible insight into the culture and the age and everything. really makes it come to life. but it's a shitload of reading... and writing... and worse yet, they expect you to be brilliant all the time, because you're an honors student.
and on top of it all, i guess i'm supposed to know french.
.
.
.
cognates are your friend. if anyone's tellin' you different, they tellin' you dead wrong.
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2005 3 November :: 3.37pm
Also I was thinking that today would be a very good day just to sit on your trunk and drink a beer.
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2005 3 November :: 2.42pm
So, Part Deux I guess. Not really a continuation. Sort of a middle ground, unrealted to that of the first, although it has the same inspiration, and perhaps the same heartbeat in terms of rapidity of thinking and writing.
Today is an absolutely beautiful day. As I was driving (I do a lot of thinking while I'm driving) I was considering different things about my life and how good things are now compared to how bad they were and I still felt that little tinge of depression lingering. But then after my adrenaline experience, I feel much better, much more alive. I feel like today is such a beautiful day. Such a rarity in life. A 70 degree day at the beginning of November. I can smell fall, much more than i could before. And the sunshine was intense, not intense as in sunburn intense, but as in warm enveloping intense.
So with that in mind, my exam completed and me feeling pretty damned good about it, I strolled. Granted the walk is not long. A few minutes at most a regular pace. But I may have stretched it into 5 or 7 minutes, maybe even ten. If that's one thing that Mica has noticed about me is that my pace changes according to my mood and not always in the same ways each time. While I was strolling I had some of the most curious thoughts. Race for one thing. Such as "If February is Black History Month, does that mean that March-January are White History Months?" That sprang up from a thought I had about perhaps celebrating my whiteness. African-Americans celebrate their ancestry in the way of Kwanza, and they celebrate their physical skills at things like basketball and thuggery (not an insult, but what is gangsta rap really?). Why shouldn't I be able to celebrate my heritage and attributes as a white person? I want Christmas back in the schools. Or I want my quiet demeanor and intellect celebrated. I would prefer it. I know it all sounds extremely racist, and on the surface it is. It's not about me having personally held beliefs in these things, but damnit I want the system to be fair. Something on Scarborough Country last night (now in general I like the guy, but I think he's been high jacked by his producers into putting crap like the missing persons stories on, I'd much rather hear his political analysis since he is a former Congressman) piqued my interest. Something about the ACLU sueing over a group of Catholic students praying at a high school. That doesn't suprise me, although the American Civil LIBERTIES Union should be standing up for the rights protected in the Constitution, not trying to tear them away. What got me was that Joe said that if it were a group of Muslim students offerring up a prayer that the ACLU would be there to protect them and that no one would sue over that. The more I thought about, the truer that thought became. It also occurred to me last night that since when did people of color become the "minority in the world." Most definitely in the United States, each separate group, African-Americans, Hispanics, Arab-Americans, Chinese-Americans, and Japanese-Americans, are all a minority to Caucasians in this country. However, are people of color really a minority? In the world they certainly are not. Only in the west? Not so much anymore. Come to think of it, France is having a problem with it's immigrant community right now as a matter of fact (check it out, civil uprising in a western country, doesn't happen often).
But I have to get back to the lovely story of walking in the warm embrace of the sunlight. Then I noticed that people were looking differently at me. Not the way they usually look at me. Like I had bright blue paint all over me. But I didn't. I am wearing khakis today. Not a traditional move for me, since I am more of a jeans guy (you could say that, I think this is the first time I've worn anything but jeans to class ever). Was it that people were looking at me differently just because of the pants I was wearing? I mean I could understand it if these were people I knew and that were used to me dressing in certain ways, but they weren't. Maybe I just had a different attitude about myself, being dressed a little better, today and I have a big ego and thought that more people were looking at me. Either that or I was kidnapped last night, woke up before they had completely recreated my living environment, that's why the power was off so everything didn't have to be detailed because it would be dimly lit. Then Everyone I've encountered so far today is just an alien stand-in testing me for my reactions to certain stimuli. And they are all looking at me because they are observing me. I also have other evidence that I won't mention here to support this. It is however, extremely unlikely.
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2005 3 November :: 2.13pm
A lot of things on my mind and I'm not sure I'm going to cover them all because I may forget. So this may be a little disjointed as I figure out in my head exactly what I want to talk about.
What's got me like this? Nothing like a little adrenaline baby. So, I haven't gone to my social science research methods class since our last exam. Mostly out of arrogance, but also out of the fact that I just don't like it and I have better things to do with my time. So I went today because today was the second exam. Yeah, not so good to skip ALL the classes between two exams, but I did. So yesterday I started studying for it. Mind you now, I haven't been to class for almost four weeks, so I have had no exposure to this material. There was one point in time that I actually did feel bad about not going and read a little in the book (more out of curiosity than real concern). So, no class and little reading is not the combination that you want to have when going into an exam. So last night I ended up falling asleep sometime after eleven. I did get some studying done, but not a whole lot (although I did start reading the book that I have to have done for my Modern China class next week). Let's face it, I'm a procrastinator. I will do everything but what I'm suppossed to do until right before I have to do it. Flash ahead. 6:30am this morning. Mom wakes me up. We have no power, power completely out. So I lay there until she leaves and then Mister Bright Idea me figures it out. Last night I started to write my notes for the exam on my computer. Mind you now, my laptop has an extremely low battery life because the battery is four years old and has been recharged too many times. So that was completely out of the question. Usually if I can't use my laptop I end up getting online with it, putting my stuff on BB and then reaccessing with my home computer. But since we had no power, couldn't do that either. So here comes the bright idea part: I decided to go to work. Okay, doesn't seem like a viable option for most of you, but it was for me. I went to work where I was able to plug in my laptop, listen to music (stereo in the dining room), and be in relative peace because the store was not yet open and everyone works in the back room until then. So yes, smart me goes to work and studies for almost two hours. Then I figure, "Hey, I'm in town and I'm going to the bank, maybe I should stop by Mica's house and wake her up." Well that plan utterly failed as soon as I turned onto 17 Mile and I saw her going the option direction in her car (honey why you do that to me?). So then blah, blah, blah. Fast forward to me getting ready to leave my house. The power came back on while I was gone so I did have access to my printer now. This is especially important because I have no exporting capabilities on my laptop except printing and uploading to another computer directly or the internet. So I go to print my stuff right when I have to leave (procrastinator), but then I remember that my printer is either out of ink or the cartridge is dried up because I don't use it enough. So I have to be quick like a bunny. The plan was to leave an hour before i had to be there so I had about 15 minutes or so to study before the class started. So I couldn't print my notes. I wasn't going to bring my laptop with me because it would have just been impractical. This is followed by panic because traditionally my laptop does not like to connect to the internet easily. It always needs a little coaxing and takes awhile to connect. Well, I figure, I've got enough time. It's the middle of the day, traffic won't be so bad, I can make it there in 35 minutes. No problem. Of course, I did have problems connecting, eventually got it transfered to the other computer and printed. So I embark for school. I get behind this guy on White Creek that must have seen a 3 for the 5 on the 50mph sign. It's really annoying because when you are going south there is only one spot to pass, and it's very short. Get on the highway. there is a sign at Post that usually says something about construction ahead, or something like that. Instead, today it says "Speed Limit 45mph, Trucks 20mph." I'm thinking "Great, traffic is goign to suck." Well I drive and nothing is getting bad, until I get just past West River. It seems they closed the left lane right before the ramp I need to get off of. So everyone is trying to get into the right lane. At this point, I'm sitting stopped on the expressway, 3/4 of a mile from my off ramp (aka freedom) with twenty mintues to get to my class. So I'm thinking, "Great, going to be late to the exam for the class I haven't been to in four weeks." Well, I find a parking spot (not any easy thing to do, maybe another entry), and truck it across campus. I get to the building I'm going to, and I had grabbed a dollar out of my wallet while I was walking. I needed water because I was already cottonmouthed before I basically power walked across campus, now I was even worse. It must have been a sight. I was holding my typed notes in one hand and my dollar in the other, trudging in a hooded sweatshirt and khaki's across campus on a 70 degree November day. I get to the hall and the stinking vending machines won't take my dollar. Oh well, can't waste time on these things, already five minutes late for the exam. So I walk in and get the exam, everyone is already taking the test so I don't have to worry about those weird "where have you been" questions from my classmates. So I take it and sit down. Honestly I think the professor was downright suprised to see me. I went tright ot work on it. No use in letting that momentum from chugging it float off into nowhere by getting settled in. I went right to work. Before I knew it, I had answered the entire first page with no problem. Frankly I think that that was a bigger suprise to her than me showing up. Because the seat I got was right there in front of her and she could very well have watched my progress if she had wanted to. So that leaves me here, some thirty minutes past when I started this and I am still tense, although not banging things out quite as quickly as I was when I first started. Okay, everything else I wanted to say needs to be broken off into a separate entry because this one it just plain too long.
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2005 3 November :: 10.18am
:: Mood: woodchipper?
Ich habe das Fernseher brauchen.
yeah. i want to just do laundry. and lay down. and watch a movie.
does that make me depressed? or lazy? because i don't think i am. i'm just a greedy bastard, that's all.
i'm alreay wearing out this keyboard, i think. i'm not sure how that's possible, but there you have it. it keeps making this strange rattling sound.
"dude, you should've gotten a dell." fuck you dell. and fuck you compaq.
i have a lot of reading to do. it's just not going to happen. oh well, right?
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2005 1 November :: 5.15pm
halloween?
oh wow. it has been crazy go nuts. yesterday was fun... i got to chill with gunnie.
i taught my communications class about differential calculus... in under five minutes.
i just barely finished my paper today. and it's a few lines short. i'm not anticipating an awesome grade. i don't even want to reread it.
and the presentation today i think went fairly well. it was only like 6-7 minutes, instead of the 10 we were shooting for, but after the long rambling ones, and the fact that she's still trying to catch up to professor eick, i think she appreciated it being shorter. i'm sure we'll get a decent grade. it covered the pertinent points, related them to the class discussion, etc. it wasn't terribly INTERESTING, but i've never been that great with that. i tried to make some jokes. some were nice enough to give us some courtesy laughter. it just wasn't really that funny of a subject.
bleh. g'night.
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2005 30 October :: 11.33pm
:: Mood: coffee buzzzzzz........... zzzzzzz..... *snore
:: Music: i had "up on the housetop" running through my head. so, barenaked for the holidays.
today was an absolute blast. i got to go up north and drive fast on curvy roads. i was following a guy in an '04 R32, and even he was impressed with how fast my car was. the other guy was in a supercharged cabriolet.
not to be a dick or anything, but sometimes, i just totally kick ass.
however, i need to get those valve lashings right. i think that may be where the noise is coming from. if the space is too big, the cam kinda slaps the shim upon opening, and i think that's causing the parts to wear out. so, i need to get thicker shims in there, so it won't "slap" (hence the clicking noise). i mean there's inevitably going to be SOME lifter noise, but this is frickin' absurd.
however, the car really liked the drive today. it felt good to push it out. i need to do that more often. but it's just so damn expensive. and i'm not talking gas. i mean it's everything... gas, tires, repairs, brakes, track fees, etc. it's just too expensive of a hobby for me to feasibly have... at least, right now.
.
tonight we had the last sir isaac newton meeting. we still have yet to do a full runthrough, but oh well. the half-assed one was like 4 mins short. so, we have lots of space to fill, which works because we were trimming stuff out. which, i told them not to do, but oh well. i guess that makes me not a very good leader.
but we had a wonderful philosophical discussion after the meeting. for like an hour. and i've come to the conclusion that if sarah's theory on multiple soulmates is correct, then cara may be one of mine. i mean, it's unconfirmed of course, because i don't know her that well, but i mean, she knows what i'm talking about when i say stuff... if that makes sense. which, i realize, it doesn't. but it does to me. if you were a soul mate, you'd get it...
it's just not in the common context that the term "soul mate" is usually used. it's a different meaning entirely. but i can't exactly explain it.
i'm tired, i'm rambling. i'm thinking about just going to bed.
speech for tomorrow.
presentation, paper, and oodles of reading for tues.
and i have to do laundry, take my library books back, and not forget to hang with gunnie. or at least call and reschedule. but i'd rather not... it's halloween!
hm. how to make this happen. that is the question.
i don't think coffee alone will work.
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2005 30 October :: 1.14am
:: Mood: should be asleep...
a;sldkfj a;sldkfj a;sldkfj a;sldkfj
alskdjf; alsdkjf;a lskdjf;alskdjf;alsd kjf;alskdjf;alsdkjf;lasdkjf;alsdkjf;als dkjf;alsdkjf;alskdjf;lasdkjf;lasdkjf;as ldkfj;alsdkjf;alsdkjf;alsdkjf;lasdkjf;als kdjf;laskdjf;alskdjf;laskdjf;lasdkjfl;sak jdf;laskjdf;laskdjf;laskdjf;laksjdf;lasdkj f;alsdkjf;alsdkjf;laskjdf;alskdjf;alskdjf;la ksdfj;laskdjf;lasdkjf;alskdfj;aslkdfj;alsdkf ja;lsdkfja;sldkfja;sldkfja;sldkfj;alsdkfj;las kdjf;laskdjf;laksdjf;laskdjf;laskdjf;alskdjf;l asdkjf;laksdjf;lajksdf;lkasjdf;lkajd;flaksdjf; laksdjf;laksdjf;lasdjf;laksdjf.
that was fun.
and now for something completely the same:
a man with 2 noses.
.
.
.
i went and saw jackie's play last night. it was incredible. she did so well. i mean, i figured it would be good, but i was still exceedingly impressed. dinner and stuff was awkward for me... because of the last month or so... i'm terrible at keeping secrets. especially ones so big. but james was really sad to leave. i think he's really starting to like me. which... i think is a good thing? i don't know. it kinda freaks me out just a skösch. wow. i just made a 6 letter word with only a single vowel. and it's pronounceable. neato.
then i came back up north after the show, and went to hunter's for "movie night". which was kinda silly because we didn't watch any movies. we basically played N64 all night. rockin' it old skool (grandpa stylz). but i had a riot. it was just so much fun. and the pure clean fun like when i was little. i thought that was really neat.
and i've discovered that the comedic duo of hunter and myself are quite a hit with the ladies. which is kinda ironic, because we're both in relationships. however, it's still nice to make a joke, and have somebody laugh at it. and even better if the somebody happens to be a girl. or somebodies...as the case may be. i may never live down the reputation as a cradle-robbing chippendale, though. that's kind of unnerving.
then this morning, i left hunter's and went over to mom's. we drove around. got mexican for lunch. i just hung out there. it was nice to just chill. but i'm getting squat done on my homework and junk.
and tomorrow's the color tour. i'm supposing it's still on. i'm excited. i'd like for someone to go with me. but i suppose it'll be nice just to jam out by my lonesome, and take in the sights.
hope nobody gets arrested.
and halloween is simply a good excuse to dress like a slut. *digs up old leather pumps...
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Upchuck
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2005 28 October :: 6.07pm
Following a discussion I had at work the other day about old Nickelodeon shows, I went back to do some research. I think they really need to go back and dig out the reel-to-reel of some of the old episodes. There is an entire under culture movement on the internet that is screaming for either: 1. A release of old Nickelodeon shows, or 2. That Nick scrap it's current shows and go back to the old ones.
Personally, I don't care. My favorites were the Tomorrow People and Welcome Freshman.
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spud
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2005 26 October :: 11.54pm
Ich fahre gern im das Auto.
yeah. it's good to have my baby back. and that timing light was the shit.
still need an O2 sensor. and maybe i'll take that throttle body from drew. but it's distinctly better than it was.
there are still so many problems, it's absurd. but at least we're heading in the right direction.
however, i have a vacuum leak at the bypass adjustment screw, and the lifters are still rediculously loud. i think i need new shims for them, to get the valve lashings into spec. but i really don't feel like doing that right now, so it's going to be a bit... so i can build my ambition back up. right now, i'll just enjoy the fact that it's running again... and running better than it ever has before. let me bask, okay?
sleepy tired. 9 am class. homework not done.
fuck.
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m&ms487
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2005 25 October :: 10.19pm
No more marching band. It can't be true! O the happiness.
Use another fucking pan. I can't fucking wash it out, remember, I'm the one who doesn't know how to do anything. I'm the one who has to be told to do something all the time because obviously I'm too helpless to think for myself. That's it.
Wash out your fucking coffee cups then. I might want to use them to make hot cocoa. HA fucking ha.
They have disappeared and it is so.
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spud
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2005 25 October :: 8.52pm
COGNATES!!!!
(i told you i'd remember)
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spud
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2005 25 October :: 8.44pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: BnL - Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank
garbage
yeah. working on the car tomorrow. german and a history essay yet to do tonight. i gotta stop fucking around on the internet.
coolest thing today!!!!:
i went to the msu library. we got to see some rare books!!!
seriously. i totally slapped some white gloves on, and leafed through a book that was older than this country.
too bad it was entirely in French, so i couldn't understand any of it. except for the similar words... i forget what you call them. syllogism? no. something. i'll remember at 3 in the morning. but yeah. i totally read the "2nd Tome" of the Encyclopédie. i found what seemed to be Blancmange, but i think was actually a home remedy for chlamydia, and an entry about cannibals that was cross referenced with "politik".
i thought it was a riot. maybe i'm a nerd. whatev.
i really wish i'd have smelled it. and i should've told mle i'd be in town. i didn't think of it until we were like on the bus there. i suppose i still should've called. but i would have felt a little weird, so i decided against it.
car tomorrow.
kalamazoo friday.
etc.
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spud
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2005 24 October :: 2.44pm
midterm grades.
com - A
german - A-
eurociv (hist) - B
eurociv (lit) - B+
GPA: 3.515
all in all... could have been a lot worse. i really need to get on top of my homework stuff. no more puking out mediocre assignments at the last second. except for com. it doesn't matter how crappy those assignments are - they're all pass/fail.
i still need to step it up. or at least maintain. that'd be good.
as long as i keep it at or above a 3.5
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spud
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2005 23 October :: 11.06pm
:: Mood: not bad.
:: Music: ambient circumstances.
sex.
yeah. it's been a pretty good weekend. not sure where it went though. not sure why i feel so tired.
car's still not right. i keep fucking up the timing. i can't get it to fire.
hopefully i'm going to have a guy or two from betten take a look at it with me on wednesday. i felt bad... because i couldn't really pay him. but i'll offer him food or whatever. i said i drew the line at fellatio. but if he gets it running for me, i might just have him whip it out right there on the spot anyway...
i'm joking. you guys realize that right? good.
i don't know why i get the 'gay' rep. it's not constant, but every so often, someone creeps up.
i read an amazing dissertation on oil viscosities. it was seriously incredible. next change i'm going to go to mobil 1 0W-20. and if i can't find 20, i'll take 0W-30. no more of this molasses shit. mhmm.
i have a speech tomorrow. shit fuckers.
time to do dishes. and maybe laundry. no wait. the laundry room closes at 10. nevermind.
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upchuck
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2005 20 October :: 10.19pm
For some reason, every Thursday night I feel in an expansize mood. I feel re-energized, like I am at peace with the universe. I'm not sure what it is. It could be several things. It could be my class. Modern China is such a mystery to me. I have no point of reference for it, so everything that I learn is new. Or perhaps it is the effect of learning about another culture. That could be what is causing this. Not because I know so much about Latin America, but because it is so western, it doesn't seem like another culture. It could just be the night. Coming home with everything all dark and lights in my eyes. I don't see the night as much as I used to. The night is just so romantic. It's the time in between. You know that the sun is going to rise again, but you don't know what to. A new day with new possibilities. If you're like me, in the light, you're very skeptical that tomorrow will change the world, but night is like a dark tunnel that has a certain exit, but not a certain destination. Because every Thursday, I listen to WAY FM (I listen to it most of the time anyway), and when I get to the curves right before the Fruitridge exit, I just get that overwhelming feeling. I just feel God's presence in my life and the over arching completeness of His love.
That brings me to another note that I have been want to touch on. It may not seem, especially for the last little bit, that I recognize the impact that God has on my life. It is true, that many times I don't. I've been so worn down lately, so angry at nothing, and yet at everything. So it is not easy to see the impact that He has on my life. That is my fault and I should endeavour to do better. But it's not about that even. Because I recognize, every single day that if it wasn't for Him, I wouldn't be hear. If it wasn't for His blessings, I wouldn't be the person I am.
I also got another response from Kim today. Things are getting very strange inside my head now. And I wouldn't be posting this if I thought you were going to not understand my words. For me, it's almost a pity now. I pity Kim so much. It's not that I am just that arrogant to think that I could have given her everything, or done anything about what is happening with her family, but I could have been there to at least see her through it. No, actually, a lot of it is arrogance. Because I felt the same way about Shari. Things haven't turned out the greatest for her, but their not the worst either. So I guess I am just arrogant in thinking that they lost their shot at happiness when they lost me.
And that, friends, brings me to my very last part of this entier ramble tonight. I don't have to worry about that with Mica. I don't have to worry about being arrogant, I don't have to worry about being tired. Everytime I see her she puts a smile on my face, and not just because she's my girlfriend. If she was my friend she would probably do the same thing. She might possibly be the funniest, smileyist (is that a word), jovial girl that I have ever known. And I'm not just saying that to score extra points either. It's something that I don't even come close to deserving. My only hope, as we go further is that I can meet her expectations.
So everyone have a good night, because tomorrow will be a brand new day.
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spud
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2005 20 October :: 7.14pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: the police - king of pain
Harry Potter
okay. i reread the whole damn thing. all six books.
i'm firmly convinced that Regulus Black took slytherin's locket, the real horcrux.
and i've decided that, although there's evidence supporting both sides of the argument, i would say snape is evil and dumbledore is definitely dead. but really there's no conclusive evidence. and my reasoning is from the perspective of the author.
she (through dumbledore) has said that there are worse things than death, death is nothing to be afraid of, etc. so, really dumbledore's death wouldn't be devastating or tragic. and just the things he does leading up to the incident. i don't think he KNEW what exactly was happening, which clashes with his characteristic omniscience, but he wouldn't lie to harry. he has proven in the past to withhold certain things from harry until such time as harry is ready to hear them, but he's never actually lied to harry, or put on an act like that. and i don't see how it would be beneficial in this instance for him to do so.
and as far as snape goes, he's always been controversial. voldemort and dumbledore are both extremely powerful, and so snape could be lying to one just as likely as to the other. and i suspect that it's in his nature to use people to go places in the world, and he could obviously go farther with voldemort than with dumbledore. and dumbledore has also admitted in the past to making mistakes of judgement, and why would snape be any exception. this isn't verbatim, but he says "being rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes seem to be proportionally huger." snape was just a huge mistake. and there are the magical implications that he died. his spell over harry being instantly broken. his picture in the headmistress's office.
they didn't turn his hat inside out, or break his wand. i have no answer to those arguments. and it may be that fawkes regenerated him or whatever. but it really just seems against rowling's style. i mean. sirius is dead. harry's parents are dead. and yet, they've reappeared in some ways for harry, but never by coming back to life.
i'm sure there are surprises in book 7. surprises up the wazoo. because that's totally her style. i'm sure there's something up with aunt petunia. that may come into play when he goes back to privet drive. and he's going back to Godric's hollow. and he's going back to grimmauld place for sure: he has to retrieve slytherin's locket, once he realizes where it is. and the wedding at the burrow. the hufflepuff horcrux. the gryffindor/ravenclaw horcrux. then the snake and voldemort himself. marvolo's ring was in the gaunt shack. the locket was at the cave. there's gotta be something in little hangleton at the riddle house, i'm sure. surely not at the orphanage? maybe. i don't know. borgin & burke's? nah. there's gotta be more to the story. have to go back to the facts again. write them down.
but i'm sure dumbledore's dead dead dead. and i am equally sure that he hasn't left harry alone. maybe unprotected, yes, but certainly not unaided. there's still aberforth. and maybe slughorn and everyone in the order/hogwarts. yeah! the order! they're all still there. now that dumbledore's gone, they're bound to look to harry. i don't know. i'm starting to confuse myself.
she's got something up her sleeve. i know she does. in the meantime, we'll wait. there's definitely a theme about pushing the boundaries of magic, and how there's a line that sometimes gets crossed. it's gotta be a commentary on the scientific revolution.
if this doesn't have a good ending like lord of the rings did, mark my words, there'll be blood.
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2005 19 October :: 4.57pm
:: Mood: sehr gut!
:: Music: BnL - Some Fantastic
Deutsch (with translations provided by yours truly)
One of the things you will learn is that Germans aren't so good with making words up on the spot. I'm sure they do it, but not like we English speakers do. And if you're speaking German with an accent, then forget it ... they'll just assume you're an idiot. :) Of course, I probably sounded like an idiot even when I was using the right words.
Ja, das Umlaut. (yeah, the umlaut) Das ist schwer. (that is difficult)Einige Beispiele sind einfach, andere sind unmöglich. (they are simple to play with, and at the same time are impossible. )
ä = long "a" sometimes: ärgern = air-gurn
short "e" other times: hässlich = hess-lich
ö = "ur" without the "r"
hören = hur-enn is easy because the "r" is already there
(But you need to figure out how to trill the "r" on your
own. I'm terrible at that.)
blöd = blurd but de-emphasize the "r"
schön = schurn, again de-emphasize the "r"
ü = A total mess. We just don't have that sound in English.
You need to literally learn to round your lips when you say it.
Try saying EEE-EWWW but with rounded lips on the EWWW (and
don't say it like you're disgusted!). The EEE kinda gets your
mouth going with the voice and the EWWW with the round lips
gets you closer to the final sound. You really will need a
true German speaker to teach you that one. I still don't do
it very well. But learning this one is necessary, it can mean the
difference between hot & humid, and homosexual! Honest!
schwül = shvuel, kinda like "fuel" = hot & humid
schwul = shvool as in "fool" = gay (I'm not trying to be
politically incorrect and equate gay with fool!)
Genders are something you just need to memorize. But I will say, once you get a good number of them memorized, then you'll be able to get new words right probably 80-90% of the time without looking them up. I can do that.
Some are absolutes, like anything ending in -heit or -keit is always "die" and anything ending in -chen (the diminutive form or a noun) is "das". I'm sure your textbook has the rules. Others aren't absolute, but are damn good guesses. Ending in -e generally makes it "die" and the plural generally adds an "n" on the end. Of course, two extremely common exceptions are Der Name and Der Junge, although the plural still works.
Hey, it's lunchtime. Gotta eat something.
Viel Spaß! (have fun! )
Ryan (which is completely unpronounceable in German!)
*
wow, that really helps. a lot. seriously.
Ich habe viel Arbeit. Ach.
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