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2005 18 October :: 11.11pm
:: Mood: aufgeschlossen
Was spielen Sie gern?
Ich bin im das Wohngemeinschaft immer.
Ja. Und Ich bin vielleicht teil-Ent.
Nein.
.
.
.
Ich habe keine Fëderen.
- i totally just hax-jorbed the plural of feather. go me.
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spud
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2005 18 October :: 7.15pm
:: Mood: contemplative
... as ever.
fun times, i guess.
this damn computer sucks my soul away. and i let it.
i took a nap in the common room this afternoon. that was flippin' sweet. definitely a do-again, as grandpa would say.
i'll just go look at porn now.
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spud
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2005 17 October :: 10.02pm
home sweet home.
i have to quit doing this shit to myself. gotta start being the college kid i'm really supposed to be.
which means i shouldn't be in here on the compy right now. i should be out in the common room with all the other turbo geeks, trying to do whatever. they're probably playing euchre.
the gig was fucking sweet. i had an awesome time. and everyone seemed to think i was pretty kick ass. i don't see what's so special, but i still enjoy the compliments. it's just hard to not let words like "phenom" get to your head... but it feels good. he had me stand up and take a bow and everything. it was just amazing. i've never really done anything quite like that before. i mean, band yeah, but it's not the same.
anyway.
the contour puked. so i helped dad put in a new alternator and serpentine belt. should be all set to rock and roll for awhile. needs new tires and an alignment, though. that'll be to the sum of like $300, give or take. and after $175 for a new alternator, the tires have been pushed back a bit. i know none of this is coming out of my pocket... but i still really feel for him. and i just know there's nothing i can do.
lifters on the gti probably came in today. i didn't pick them up. i need to order shims yet. this is taking forever. it needs to be done by next friday, so i can go down to kalamazoo. i'm excited about that.
and hopefully this sunday will work out. it really doesn't matter what we do... just as long as we're together.
but i definitely have a couple of things in mind...
ahem.
.
.
.
i'm a very bad influence.
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spud
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2005 14 October :: 12.39am
:: Music: franz ferdinand - fire
practice went pretty well, i think.
my band aid fell off. it was disgusting. as a matter of fact, i still haven't replaced it. *looks* yep, still disgusting. it just better not get infected. i need my thumb. no sense getting it lopped off. none whatsoever.
i guess i'm picking up the drumset tomorrow. and the new lifters for the car. then hopefully i'll be able to finish the car tomorrow night. that'd be sweet.
color tour on the 30th. don't know if jackie can make it yet or not. i hope she can.
i'm running out of money. i don't want to have to get a job.
and i'm not doing my homework. again. shit fuckers.
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upchuck
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2005 13 October :: 5.22pm
So, anyways. I feel so completely ran down today. It might have something to do with last night, but then again I think it has something to do with the way I've been living lately. Denise turned the scedule over to me this week and then I was told last night that it needed to be done by five today. It never had been before, so it just put a lot of extra pressure on me. Besides, yesterday was just stressful in it's self. I wish I could do something to tak it all away. I promised myself I wouldn't let it get to this point. I just need to take a step back and not invest myself in this job so much. Not get caught up in the pettiness of it. I mean, I didn't have a job for a long time, so it's not like they can get rid of me and I'll be no worse for it. I need that attitude back.
Oh, and honey, if you see this, I'm coming over before I go home tonight ;)
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spud
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2005 13 October :: 12.49am
skiving off of homework...
yeah. so i got the car all apart today. made some good progress. dad did an awesome job on the valve cover with the PCV hose. i think i'm going to run it to a separate breather tank, as soon as i can find a place to mount it. and i'll just put the old filter on the breather. i don't like running it straight to the intake for some reason.
but anyway. the timing belt is off. old valve cover is off. the cam is out. i have the wrong fucking lifters. and i guess the right ones are like $100 more than i had originally budgeted. marvelous. so i don't know what i'm supposed to do about that. and i managed to slice my thumb wide open while i was rerouting some fuel lines. fan-fuck-tastic.
honestly, it's been a good night. there was a lot of great progress. and like i said, dad did an awesome job with the PCV stuff. but my thumb is fubar, the lifters still need to be addressed, and i didn't do squat on my homework.
maybe next time. but all in all, a good night.
9 comments |
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spud
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2005 11 October :: 10.24pm
:: Mood: holy shit!
i just landed a gig!
wow. cool. i just. man.
in less than an hour i've managed to hear about and accept an offer for my first paying gig.
at a place called Franco's. this saturday night. from 9pm-1am.
everybody come see me!
it's on 36th st. between burlingame and clyde park.
practice is thursday. which means i'm going to need to freak out or something!!!! oh wait, i already am!
AWEXOME CROSS!!!
yeah. i'm giddy like a two-years-old girl. shut it up, you.
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upchuck
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2005 11 October :: 1.07pm
So I just finished my exam in Modern Latin America. It's kind of wierd. I think it was the first time I've ever been the last one to get done with an exam. Usually it's because you can't remember something, but this time it was because I remembered too much. I was suppossed to discuss the Latin American independence movement. Well that took me three pages. Then synthesize the capaigns for two countries. I got all the way through Mexico, but i barely gave Columbia a head nod because I was running out of time. THat was another two pages. Then I was suppossed to examine if they had met their goals. Which took another page, but could have taken longer. So now my hand is mucho tired from writing for 1.5 hours straight.
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spud
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2005 10 October :: 10.41pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: self-propelled oscillating fan device thingy
sometimes i wonder if maybe i'm totally fucking up this car thing. doing it all wrong. i should buy a cheap american car as a beater. sell the red rocket. and then wait until dad has a pole barn where i can build my cheap race car.
i would so totally like to buy evil betty. and a beater. that would be teh sweetness. but i'm not in a position to do either. and i can't help but think i fucked myself. it looked like a winner at the time. i thought i had it all figured out. it seemed to be everything i wanted. i guess now i'll just have to make it what i want.
this is the first time i've ever upgraded a car without HAVING to repair it. i'm just upgrading because i feel like it.
to me that's a dangerously easy way to spend a couple hundred bucks.
this does not look good for homestarrunner.
i wonder if i could get a job at a shop. that seems to be the way to do this cheaply.
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Upchuck
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2005 10 October :: 10.03pm
I'm just struggling with these questions. Is it possibly to be just? Is it alright to sin and still feel on the moral high ground? Do even corrupt individuals have it in their hearts for acts of kindness?
I don't know the answer to any of this. I do know that we're all flawed. All lost in our own way. But what to do about it, I don't know. What is the meaning of learning about high minded ideals, about process and procedure, if it does nothing to help the world? If it doesn't not help our fellow souls. Why spend our time dwelling on the things we can't do, the things we can't make right, instead of the things we can?
I guess these are deep probing questions. Something that I want to know and feel from my heart and from my soul.
Somedays I feel like an abject failure, because of the things I haven't been able to accomplish. The people that I have failed to help, the life that I have failed to lead, and the things I didn't even try at haunt on those days. But today was different. Today I feel a supreme confidence that I can do anything I set my mind to. But what to det my mind to. It feels like it's such power that it shouldn't be wasted. I could do anything, anything at all. But I'm still lost.
Still lost in the desert, waiting to be led into the promised land. The place where I will be able to see my children grow. That's where I want to go. And if now, this is about confidence, then I have supreme confidence. I have supreme confidence that He will lead me there, and when I arrive, when we arrive, it will be us as a complete people who will have their heads held high. And we will look at one another and be able to express that which will save us all. Love.
1 comment |
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spud
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2005 9 October :: 11.12pm
:: Mood: liebevoll...
:: Music: heart - dog and butterfly
and just like that. life is good.
i was really afraid that i'd never be able to listen to heart again without crying.
and honestly, i'm still very close to tears. but that's okay.
i'm just tired of being a screw-up. and asking everyone else to just tolerate me. and they do it. maybe out of pity? nay (yeah, i said "nay". deal with it), out of love; unjustified, though that love may be.
and rachel's cool. she seemed really happy for me. i just hope she can find someone. or at least find peace with being single.
i'm still dirty though. i'll take a shower in the morning. at least 2 of my worlds are meshing. it's a start.
6 comments |
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spud
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2005 9 October :: 6.51pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: nuffink
growing up (post-divorce), i felt like i lived three different lives. one at school. one at home. and one at dad's.
i'm pretty sure i've graduated to like 7 different lives by now. and they're all constantly clashing with each other. they're not tidily separated like they were in the past.
i would really like to get back down to, oh say... one. that would be fantastic.
*
i got together with jackie. we talked. it was wonderful. but now i'm left with this tremendous guilt. like i don't deserve jackie's forgiveness, and i'm a horrible person for using rachel like i did. and just. messy.
and my homework is not doing itself, either. not that that is unusual.
and i forgot to get fucking groceries. so i'm going to have to remember when i'm out and about tomorrow. SHIT. i just remembered, i also forgot grandma's care package of cookies. which she gave me because i ditched on brunch to be with jackie. which was important. and then i ditched on dinner at kathy's... 'cause. i don't know. i just needed to get away for awhile.
the car has been postponed to next weekend. i get the parts tomorrow. i'm doing the valve cover, valve cover gasket, lifters, timing belt... and maybe the shift lever, if i get the chance to run to that place in cornstalk park. i need a boot and lever. and a dome light. and rear seatbelts.
i guess i could always remove the rear seat entirely, and that would solve the WHOLE problem. yeah. when i get a winter beater.
i'm just so emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted. and i know that it still pales in comparison to what jackie's going through. i'm just too numb to go through it twice. and i never wanted to do that to her. and that's exactly what i fucking did.
i'm supposed to give a persuasive speech tomorrow.
oh dear.
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spud
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2005 7 October :: 10.34am
:: Mood: ass.
:: Music: the mars volta - "i'm totally freaking out, man!"
wow. i'm really disoriented. and this music isn't helping. oh well. it's still fucking cool.
i guess i'm going to work on the car tonight. hunter invited me to the haunt, but i'm not sure if i'm going to go or not.
it reminds me of a few years ago. the time i went to dee's house for halloween. and i was single, and miserable. considering i've spent the last 3 years un-single, and intermittently miserable, i don't know how to feel now.
i hate being this big of a jerk. but i know it's the only way.
this is what i get for taking romance advice from dorkus.
5 comments |
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spud
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2005 6 October :: 10.23am
okay. well. everything is packed. and i did laundry last night. there's still one little spot, but the majority is gone. it smells good, and it's folded nice and pretty. that's more than i can usually manage.
i'm just really weirded out about the whole thing. but last night was a good talk. didn't really accomplish anything, but it made me feel better.
i just remember sometime back in march asking myself "why?"
and getting the response "why not?"
i couldn't find a good reason not to, so i did. and now we both have several reasons not to, and we're hard pressed to convince ourselves "why".
from that perspective, it seems pretty obvious. it's still really sad though.
Ich habe nicht gut glück mit die Fräu...
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upchuck
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2005 6 October :: 8.46am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: The Allman Brothers Band
So Mica's been on me to update my journal when it's only been a few days. If everyone I knew update their journal every day I don't think things would work so well.
Anyway, I've been having a lot of very bad dreams lately. Dreams where either people are out to get my friends (as in the white Mazda at work dream), or there out to get me (in the field trip turned into interrogation session, in which I am labeled a communist spy). Other variants include me losing my identity. I'm not sure what they mean. The two that I had this morning I woke up and it felt like I hadn't moved at all. That's kind of scary too. It might be the fact that I'm a little stressed out right now. Well, at least compared to what I was the last few months when I had absolutley nothing demanding anything of me.
I really wish that I could capture that feeling I had the night after I gave my presentation this summer. It was just that good feeling where you know that you nailed it. You did everything right when no one was expecting you to. That night was pure bliss, unlike Tuesday when I got out of class. I thought I had a fairly good plan coming in, but I asked some questions, and I don't think anyone was really into answering them. I wanted to have a good presentation, instead it was just as stupid as the rest of them.
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spud
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2005 5 October :: 5.02pm
:: Music: uno melodic (funk compilation old skool)
dear diary, (mood: apathetic...)
i must be eeemo...
well. i about crapped my pants. i put the stopper back in the throttle linkages, so the butterfly would open sooner. i could NOT possiby start from a dead stop without squawking them in first. until the stop screw fell out.
i have to devise a way to change the setting. i like how it is now for road driving. it's doggier than sin, but it's smooth, with good low-end torque. then when i'm "racing" i can shove some sort of stopper in, then just take it out when i'm done. but first i'll need to be fixing my hood latch. it sucks having to open it with a screwdriver.
"the mating call of the teenage girl"... i need to buy me some techno to blare on my system. and some mid-ranges for the back. i'm thinking some 6-8" woofers or something. i think that would cover what i'm missing. maybe closer to 5" i don't know. we'll see. i'll just try a bunch of different stuff. whatever dad has lying around the trailer.
i don't really want to drive the gti this winter. but i don't want to get a beater either. and i don't have anywhere to store it. fuck. i don't want to HAVE to get a job on top of school.
plus next semester, i'm bumping up to 16 credits and possibly an internship for even more credits. yes. i'm pretty insane, that's for certain.
i think jackie and i are over. but i'm not really sure. she's not saying anything. i guess i'll operate on the assumption that she hates my guts. and then if she doesn't, i'll provide her with ample reason to. which would prove difficult, because i hate being mean. but then again, maybe if i just keep being myself that will be reason enough.
i'm sore from lifting yesterday. and i did a mile on the treadmill. a WHOLE mile! aren't you proud of me? i knew you would be. i need to stay on top of the lifting business. i want to feel huge. not necessarily look huge, but feel huge. and right now i don't.
that's enough for now, i think.
funkalicious.
6 comments |
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spud
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2005 5 October :: 8.42am
:: Mood: i'm awake, honest...
okay. so maybe it wasn't such a great idea. but that's okay.
i had fun, right?
shut up, brain.
i wanna take a nap. german quiz in T-15.
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spud
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2005 3 October :: 9.19pm
:: Mood: lost
:: Music: Yes - Close to the edge
several seditious scribes from syria...
well, i went to the commmunications discussion board tonight. they had people there from wood tv 8, fox 17, and the grand rapids press.
i was disappointed that they didn't have any radio people there.
and it's just more of the same thing. me having questions - unanswerable ones. at least, none that they can answer for me. i have to find out for myself. and nobody seems to know how. aside from getting knee deep into it, only to realize i'm in the wrong place, then look somewhere else. i'm personally getting a little tired of the runaround. but how else am i supposed to find it?
i mean, i have a strange and unique combination of skills and interests. that must mean that i have a unique role out there somewhere. i'd like to think that god didn't just put me here for shits and giggles, with no real purpose. and i'd like to think i can feel good for serving that purpose. but if i don't know what the purpose is, how can i tell if i'm serving it properly, and adequately?
i'm just tired of running in circles, not knowing where to go or what to do.
...
i readjusted the throttle setup according to the bentley. it's definitely smoother, and i have more low-end torque. but it doesn't wind out nearly as quickly. and i was going to try putting the stop-screw into the linkages, so the butterfly would open sooner, but the hood latch release is on the fritz. so now i can't even get into the engine compartment. i'll have to figure out a way to get at it with like a coat-hanger or something, to get it open, so i can fix it. but i didn't feel like doing it tonight. and i don't know if i have solid lifters or hydraulic lifters or what, but i guess i need to replace them. they're noisy as fuck. which is really loud, in case you were wondering.
edit: the mess i have to work with -
that's all for now kids. and my "blow shit off all weekend" thing has yet again come back to bite me in the ass. at least i got to sleep in this morning. so i'll be coherent while i'm pulling the late-nighter. but it will suck tomorrow morning. i think i might go lift weights tomorrow night. that would be cool. by my lonesome...
it's too easy to fall into this cycle. it sucks you in. makes you lazy. makes ME lazy.
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spud
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2005 3 October :: 10.51am
an excerpt from the autobiography of Saint Ignatius Loyola (honors reading)
"When he thought of worldly things it gave him great pleasure, but afterward he found himself dry and sad. But when he thought of journeying to Jerusalem, and of living only on herbs, and practicing austerities, he found pleasure not only while thinking of them, but also when he had ceased."
that's what peace is. when the thoughts can stop, and the good feeling keeps right on going.
that's what i want. i'm greedy for it. but i find that i don't need religion in order to get the feeling, and keep it. i just need spirituality.
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spud
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2005 2 October :: 11.45pm
hector is the king of late apexes...
The Nürnburg Ring
top speed: 223 mph
lap time: 6:49
(close your tags...)
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spud
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2005 2 October :: 6.48pm
:: Music: incubus - here in my room
i'm sick of angry people. they make me mad...
i'll do my best to not become one of them. it's such a waste.
oh, i wrote some free verse.
:
I'm in the car - in the parking lot - watching the smoke haze drift lazily; languidly wending its way out the window.
With a futile hope that the smoke will occlude my mind's eye, and prevent me from remembering all of the wonderful moments.
I lack the capacity to avert the catastrophe. My unmitigated audacity portends impending unpleasantness. The end?
:
maybe i'm overreacting, being a drama queen. but i'm not going to bend over and take it like i always have in the past. fuck that shit. i mean it still hurts more than words can say, but i refuse to be stupid about it.
it's gonna take me a while to gather everything back into the snowman bag. and to get those grease stains out of the aéropostale hoodie, but we'll get there. in the mean time, i'm going to have some fun. and most people disagree with me on what's fun. but so what. like right now, i'm going to eat food, listen to music, and read a fucking book. because i think that will be fun. and i may just turn my phone off while i do it.
quote: (jan 12, double-oh five)
i'm sick of katie being so goddamn difficult. i love her, i really do, but i'm tired of busting my ass, and having shit fall through, then getting flack about how i'm not good enough.
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upchuck
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2005 30 September :: 9.55am
I think the gay thing is nice. It really exposes the problems in the argument against gay marriage. But what you don't understand is that in this country, no matter how stupid you make people feel, they'll keep voting the way they want to. In addition, you can't get laws overturned by poking holes in how the law got passed. It's already passed and you have to give solid reasons to overturn it.
I will also say this. No matter how stupid it may make me feel, I don't support gay marriage. I don't have a reason. It's not that I don't like gay people. Yes, of course I feel uncomfortable around gay guys. To me, that's almost natural. Until I remind myself that I'm not wholy attractive to very many girls out there, so why would I be attractive to a gay guy. I know a lot of gay people, and in general I like the people themselves. What I don't like is the movement, the rhetoric behind it. It really bothers me that they are attacking the fundamental unit of society. Really it all comes back to a religious perspective. But the stereotype is that homosexuals are promiscuious. That stereotype could be further from the truth because there are many homosexuals who are 100% committed to their relationships, more so than even heterosexual couples. BUt if you follow the logic (or illogic) of the stereotype. If Homosexuals are already breaking the societal expectation of normal sexual behavior (which for the anti-gay marriage vote runs something along the line of celibacy) then what is stopping them then from breaking all the norms. Which is why homosexuals are portrayed as being promiscuous.
But I think I've drifted from my point. Which is to say that I do not feel comfortable endorsing gay marriage. I voted No on prop. 2 last year for only one reason. And I wished more people would have looked at it carefully and considered the consequences before they made it law. That reason was that it also closed the door on civil unions. I don't believe that the title of marriage should be given to gay couples, but they most certainly deserve the same rights as other people. To me, one is a legal quesiton (visitation, adoption, and inheritance rights) and the other is a socio-moral question (the title of marriage). So there. Despite having tried to think this one out, that is the conclusion that I have come to, so go ahead and blast away.
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m&ms487
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2005 29 September :: 6.53pm
Getting all fired up for all that fun college stuff and deadlines and blah blah blah.
My three choices:
1. CMU
2. Grand Valley
3. Eastern Michigan
I know that I'm going to get into all of them, just which one will give me enough scholarships to go?
All in due time i suppose.
In the mean time, many things for english to do.
Fruit flies are breeding just fine. My F1 generation is taking over the vials!
They twitch when i nap them. It's scary. I put them on the t.v. screen. My fruit flies are famous now.
Indeed.
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2005 29 September :: 5.44pm
So, yeah.
I finally got a response email from Kim. Yeah, from the one that I sent like three weeks ago. Apparently our freak coincidence of running into each other on the road on Tuesday got her thinking again. No, not that she wants me again (which wouldn't even be close to being on the table, it'd be in the backyard, or on Mars or something), but that her life actually sucks enough for her to realize that there are actually people who care about her.
On a side note: I'm really excited about tonight and this weekend in general. But also I was so freakin' tired today. I don't know why. My shoulders are sagging, my legs hurt and it has been very difficult to keep my eyes open. I've also been having extremely strange dreams lately. I have the feeling that if I had stayed up when I woke up at 4:30 I wouldn't feel like this. But it all doesn't matter because I am going to fully partake in all the Red Flannel debauchery that's goin' on this week. WOOOOOOOOOHHHHUUUU!!!!!!!!!!
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spud
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2005 29 September :: 12.38am
:: Mood: Kreativ
:: Music: WGVU jazz...
because i like to show off:
Nein pferdspielen, immer!
Wer ist größer: ein Nilpferd aber Schwein?
.
.
.
yeah, that's all i've got so far. pferdspielen! honestly... i crack myself up, sometimes.
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2005 28 September :: 9.28pm
:: Mood: i'm totally crushing!
:: Music: seal - don't cry (on the radio!!)
recent events
okay. so i drove the car today!!!
just around the block, but still. and i'm still leaking oil onto the manifold, and it's burning off, making one hell of a stink. karl said he thought it was the valve cover gasket... which means i need to source a G60 valve cover, and a new gasket.
that should be an "easy" project. *knocks on wood* relatively speaking.
but it drove okay. and i adjusted the shift linkages to where they were happy. i still want to get a new shift lever, because the one that's in there is all fubar and sloppy.
some more tweaking of the clutch adjustment and such, and it should be getting close to happy.
and i still have to do all the vacuum shit on the intake to get it running properly. there's some REALLY nasty clicking going on in the compartment somewhere. it sounds like super-pronounced lifter noise on a single cylinder, but it could be anything. i hope it's not something with the cam. i don't want to tear the engine apart. no thank you.
at least... not yet.
mwahaahaaa.
and i'm also the king of breakfast for dinner. half a dozen maple links and a poached egg. i fucking rock sometimes.
i'm not gaining weight yet, but this summer's muscle is definitely softening a bit. oh well. i obviously don't care enough about it to do anything yet.
if only delilah played jazz. that would be nice.
but i drove it today, that's the important thing. and i wound up doing the CV joint all by myself anyway... so add that to the repertoire.
i'm really starting to get this. and it feels absolutely marvelous.
only bad thing was, i accidentally sent a jack stand through the already disintegrating floor pan. things to NOT look good for homestarrunner...
i'm not going to be able to go through the snow with this. shit.
oh well. one thing at a time, right?
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upchuck
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2005 28 September :: 8.55pm
:: Mood: buzzed
:: Music: "Night Moves" - Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band
Y'all got a little confused on my entry about needing guidance. I think it's funny that you did. You see, right now I think I need the least guidance I've needed in awhile. I know what I'm doing and where I'm going. I know who I am and what I want. And that's a good thing.
The thing I was looking for guidance on was whether I should stay on campus, or come home. But no one was responding to me, so I just said screw it and I came home. So I guess the only one who got that one right was Mica (good job honey). Okay, I'm so looking forward to tomorrow, not because I"m doing anything incredibly great, but because it's Mica's birthday. It was also nice to find out that I get accepted just on the basis of my birth date.
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2005 27 September :: 10.28pm
all the wonderful news.
so. i have a bunch and oodles and lots of homework to do.
and i really fucking need groceries. and i have about five dollaz. so, i figure it would be nice to see mom and have her buy me stuff.
5 hours later i'm just really pissed off. and suddenly food doesn't seem worth it.
not to mention i didn't get jack shit done on the homework front.
i'm going to have to rock the German until midnight. then crash hard.
and just wing my fucking communications paper last minute.
and when i get out of COM, i guess i'm meeting up with adam so he can tow my car over to a shop that bruce frequents so they can finish the mess that i started. because i'm obviously incapable. i guess i'm just too slow and stupid to work on cars. who'da thunk, right?
and i got a fucking 84% on friday's essay. which, coming from that teacher, means that it was a good paper. just not a standout in the awesomeness dept. whatev. he just doesn't seem to be on my wavelength. but still a cool guy. he likes suck ups. and i've never been a suck up. and i'm not sure i'm willing to become one for a single letter grade. maybe my tune will change. i'm just pissed at myself for getting into this mess.
but now that i'm here, i have to get out.
i'm tired of this constant feeling that i'm doing something horribly wrong, that everyone else naturally seems to just GET.
Cock fuck.
you know what i want. i want to fall asleep right now. get 11 hours of gorgeous sleep, full of wonderful dreams, and when i wake up, have jackie be laying there next to me. and then i can make her breakfast. and we could go for a walk after breakfast. and then go see some sort of concert or play or something. then we could race go-carts. then we would go swimming and relax on the beach. followed by a walk through the woods. then a bonfire, with lots of friends. then back to bed, so we could watch a movie and fall asleep in each other's arms.
and will even ONE of those things happen?
no.
and i need to move practice with rob to friday. thursday is the newton research meeting. and i'm still looking to get more involved on campus. an irrefutably moronic pursuit, given my current condition. but then again, when haven't i been a moron?
i heard the snare line again tonight... :-(
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critique me
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upchuck
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2005 27 September :: 5.57pm
Okay, so i was looking for a little guidance. But I guess I'm not going to get any. I think I'm going to head home and do some shopping on the way.
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critique me
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Upchuck
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2005 27 September :: 3.44pm
So i'm sitting here waiting for my last class to start and I'm seriously debating my plans for tonight. I know I entered the semester with a commitment to get more involved in the things going on on campus. Especially with Campus Ministry. But now that I'm on the verge of going and attending a small group meeting I feel kind of reluctant. I don't know, it was fun to do it when I was freshman. It felt right and I felt like I could learn a lot from Dan, my leader that year. I mean after all it was my first year in college and I was learning about who I was and how my faith fit into my life. But now I know all that and I just feel like I'm going to be looked down upon because of my feelings on certain issues. Anyway, I might be home earlier than 9 or 10, so be ready.
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