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m&ms487
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2006 25 September :: 7.50pm
:: Mood: contemplative
Waking up this morning was the toughest thing I've done in a long time.
I am incredibly sick. I even skipped a class. I only skip a class for a really good reason, such as sitting in my dorm trying not to throw up.
I really want some hot chicken noodle soup right now. That would make me feel better.
Your selfish needs polluted my perfect night. When are you ever going to learn? When is it not going to be about you anymore? When will you open your eyes and see the world that you so desperately claim to know so much of? Your actions are not beautiful, they are not heroic. They are just another intelligently masked motive for self gain, for pleasure.
There was a time when I thought everything you touched was beautiful. I thought you really understood how everything worked. I thought you could feel how life changed us minute by minute, hour by hour, through painful thought, tearless loss. Now I see you're the same as everyone else. That was my fault, my mistake, for you are only human, and I shouldn't have expected anything more out of you than anyone else. I'm terribly sorry for that.
michelle
l<3ve
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m&ms487
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2006 24 September :: 8.59pm
I had a really fun weekend. I went home and saw everyone, did many things, you know what I mean.
I went to shakedown street and priscilla's for the first time Saturday. It was definately awesome.
I had such a long night last night, I got about two hours of sleep. I almost fell asleep numerous times while I was driving back to Central. That wasn't too great.
I will be back for red flannel.
I like jello.
michelle
l<3ve
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m&ms487
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2006 22 September :: 9.53am
:: Mood: contemplative
I went out to breakfast with my parents today. It was very, strange. I felt like I didn't belong to them anymore, however, that's not a bad thing. I think it startled them when I followed the waitres to the table, instead of following them following the waitress (I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but with my family the actions and unspoken moves you make are very important). I could see in their eyes that I had changed.
They are getting old. I could see it in their eyes. It feels so good not to live at home that I'm almost dreading the summer when I'll move back in.
They are on their way up to Beaver Island for a vacation.
I'm leaving today after my english class at noon. I'm going home, and they aren't going to be there, and it's going to be like old times.
I'm very excited for this weekend.
michelle
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l<3ve
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m&ms487
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2006 21 September :: 4.16pm
So i WAS going to the writing center to get someone intelligent to proofread my paper, however, they are closed at the moment. It's only four in the afternoon. How can they be closed?
Eh. My paper is too good for them anyway.
Right.
Michelle
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l<3ve
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m&ms487
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2006 20 September :: 10.11pm
I finally got done with my english paper. Who doesn't love Transcendentalism? Seriously.
michelle
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l<3ve
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m&ms487
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2006 20 September :: 2.28pm
I'm so tired. I feel like my head is so...confused. Perhaps it's just been from lack of sleep, although I've been getting eight hours a night. I really need to take a nap, but I can't for some reason.
It's horrible.
michelle
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l<3ve
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m&ms487
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2006 19 September :: 7.56pm
I am going to kill the piccolo player that sits next to me in U band.
I know how to play my fucking flute.
l<3ve
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m&ms487
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2006 19 September :: 2.24pm
I can feel the wind cut through my sweater. That same sweater that seemed like last night, but so many nights ago, you gave me, to keep me warm. I recollect this moment not as a moment of passion, or love, or even burning desire, but of one of friendship, of caring, of compassion. The three of us went swimming together that night. I was so scared of the cold water. I'm not sure exactly why. My body was cold, but so was my soul. And underneath those stars, that night, my body was renewed in that water, with both of you, and I felt whole. I felt as if all the world was content. I was content. I was shivering from the cold midnight breeze, and I felt childish with the sand between my toes, but I was content. I was happy. That was how summers should be. That's how summer was.
michelle
l<3ve
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m&ms487
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2006 18 September :: 1.29pm
When I grow up I'm going to be a teacher.
l<3ve
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liz
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2006 18 September :: 11.08am
yay gilmore girls, sugar cookies, and cleanliness.
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l<3ve
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