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2009 1 August :: 2.35pm
why do i feel so bad when a person who says they are a missionary from khazakstan that tries to help people from drug abuse and absitence before marriage etc. comes into my work and tries to sell me a pretty windchime and i refuse?
why do i feel so guilty?!!?
i only had 10 bucks on me and they were 15 and up.
the saddest part is i probably would have bought one if i had the extra 5.
i cannnnnt saaaaaay noooooooooooooo.
...isn't khazacstan the country borat was from? well... she didn't look like borat.
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2009 1 August :: 2.05pm
i've had this since 2002....
weirrrrrd.
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gillette
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2009 1 August :: 1.37am
Jacob is leaving me. Well, for Pontiac. He got his job as a felony parole officer, which is GREAT, but not for me. I'm happy for him, but I'll miss him SO much. And it's not safe down there. He has 3 weeks to find a safe/nice apartment to live in in the surrounding area and go. He starts August 21st I think. So for a year or more he'll be permanently down there, so far away, working 40+hours a week. It makes me want to cry.
1 Felt the pain... |
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gillette
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2009 22 July :: 12.27am
i'm so excited to go to camp tomorrow. i've gone there every year with my whole family since i've been like...9 i think. we rent out a whole girl scout camp. we have cabins, a lodge a huge firepit with benches all around it, our own beach, canoes and everything. its so fun. i haven't gone away and done anything in like..well a year. no vacation really, no break from everything. each year we have like a 'theme' last year it was pirates of the caribbean..i have so many younger cousins and they bring all their friends, so we split them into teams and my aunts plan all these games and everything that have to do with the theme. my cousin carly and her husband rented a jack sparrow costume and a pirate costume and dressed all up and talked with a pirate accent and everything to address the kids, it was great. this year the theme is the wizard of oz!! which i'm so excited about. apparently i get to play some sort of Dorothy part during the 5 days we're there. we have a 'secret' dinner planned which i don't even know about. i mean it will do with the theme i'm pretty sure but they won't even tell me what it is although they tell me the other secret stuff lol. i know it might sound childish kind of, but it's so fun and the kids have soo much fun and they look forward to all the games and activities and everything. one year we had my boy cousins dress up in drag and do a pageant and it was hysterical! then we all had to go in front of the video camera and vote for who we wanted to win survivor style, ha. last year jake and i went fishing and i broke his fishing pole, and we walked around a lot on all the different trails and such and just hung out. i hope everything goes well this year and that everyone has fun and there isn't too much drama or anything. with so many young girls and their friends around, some fights usually pop up between them b/c they can get pretty bitchy towards each other sometimes lol, but i guess we shall see. i love my family because they are so creative and fun. everyone always laughs a TON and my one aunt always ends up dancing ellen style. seriously she could be ellen. there are alwyas a ton of stories to laugh about and things going on to entertain us all. i hope when i'm older my sister and i can come up with fun stuff like this for my kids and their cousins etc..mmmmmm can't wait for smores. :)
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2009 16 July :: 12.59am
Random thoughts: -i am hungry- I get to buy groceries tomorrow yeehaw- I want to see stefs puppy- I want a new vacuum cleaner soooo bad- I have to get my new passport and license tomorrow- I can never sleep at night anymore- I am excited to start school and wear scrubs- I put up (past tense) with SO much for you, you idiot.- I wonder if you know deep down that you really did a lot of bad things, you were/are such a jerk and so fake, it really sucks because when you're not like that you are pretty fun - where did they all go? - I wonder if that really is why and the doctors are wrong and it will be a problem. I can only pray that it won't.- why does my kidney area always hurt like a sharp pain ... Not good.- I'm married, isn't that weird!?!? Hahahaha- and that concludes the random list of thoughts going on in my head.
I
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2009 15 July :: 11.05pm
All about yourself...the survey. Created by adawg and taken 427924 times on Bzoink | All about yourself... | First name?:: | jessica | Middle name?:: | michele | Like your name?:: | yes | Named after anyone?:: | no | Any nicknames?:: | jamal, j, jessa | Age?:: | 21 | Birthdate?:: | 3.8 | Birthplace?:: | grand rapids | Time you were born?:: | 8.31 am | Current location?:: | my home | Height?:: | 5.0 | Like your height?:: | no, i wish i was a little taller | Eye color?:: | blue | Contacts/glasses?:: | neither | Hair color?:: | brown | Natural hair color?:: | brown | Dye your hair often?:: | about 3 times a year because i get bored | Righty or lefty?:: | lefty | Your favorite... | Type of music?:: | depends on my mood. When I am awake and ready to go out then it would be hip hop/rap etc, when i'm ready for bed it's classical, when i'm sad it's r&b/pop | Band or singer?:: | ummmm i dont know | TV show?:: | greys anatomy | Movie?:: | i guess step brothers | TV channel?:: | ? | Radio station?:: | none | Place to be?:: | out with friends/ family | Thing to do?:: | be iwth friends/family | Food?:: | pizza/chocolate | Non alcoholic drink?:: | diet pepsi | Alcoholic drink?:: | bahama mama, vodka and sprite | Animal?:: | dogs, cats, swans | Holiday?:: | my bday or christmas i guess i duno | Season?:: | spring summer or fall | Sport?:: | sport? hmmm | Place to shop?:: | vanity, forever 21, charlotte russe, marshalls, old navy, target... theres many | Clothing brand?:: | none | Scent?:: | as far as perfume- enchanted orchid from BBW or baby phat umm i can't remember what its called but i love it | Restaurant?:: | olive garden or frankie v's | Fruit?:: | apples or bananas | Vegetable?:: | potatos, corn | Fast food restaurant?:: | arby's i suppose | Pizza topping?:: | none, just cheese really | Ice cream flavor?:: | mint chocolate chip | Magazine?:: | i duno | City?:: | haven't visited enough to know | Color?:: | blue | Number?:: | 2 | This or that... | Chocolate or vanilla?:: | chocolate except for cake or ice cream | Pepsi or coke?:: | diet pepsi | Hot or cold?:: | ? | Black or white?:: | black | Dog or cat?:: | dog | French toast or pancakes?:: | french toast | French fries or onion rings?:: | french fries | Hamburger or hot dog?:: | hamburger | Pepperoni or sausage?:: | pep | Britney or Christina?:: | britney | McDonalds or Burger King?:: | burger king | 50 Cent or Eminem?:: | | Canada or Mexico?:: | canada i think | Hug or kiss?:: | hug | Movies or TV?:: | | Truth or dare?:: | | Do you... | Shower daily?:: | yes | Sing in the shower?:: | no | Like to sing?:: | in my car | Like to dance?:: | yeah | Smoke?:: | no | Drink?:: | on occasion | Cuss?:: | sometimes | Talk to yourself?:: | not really | Believe in yourself?:: | ? | Play an instrument?:: | yes | Go to school?:: | starting on the 27th | Go to college?:: | " " | Have a job?:: | yeah | Like your job?:: | most of the time | Want to get married?:: | am | Want to have kids?:: | yes | Get along with your parents?:: | yeah | Get along with your siblings?:: | yeah | Drive?:: | yeah | Random... | Do you think you're trustworthy?:: | yes | Think your funny?:: | sometimes | Ever toilet papered someones house?:: | yes | Gone garbage can tipping?:: | no | What are your parents names?:: | stacey and michael | Siblings names?:: | brandon shannon stefanie | Do you wash your hands frequently?:: | yes | How many time a day do you brush your teeth?:: | 2 | Collect anything?:: | no | Ever been in love?:: | yeah | In love right now?:: | yeah | What color pants are you wearing right now?:: | grey | How does your hair look?:: | up in pony tail | Ever had your heartbroken?:: | yeah | Ever broken the law?:: | yeah | Been arrested?:: | no | Been out of the country?:: | yea | Can you stick your fist in your mouth?:: | no | When was the last time you got drunk?:: | umm i cannot remember | Do you do drugs?:: | no | When was the last time you were high on anything?:: | n/a | Do you prefer the lights on or off?:: | off-save energy | Would you ever get plastic surgery?:: | yes | Do you prefer boxers or briefs?:: | boxers | Do you like to laugh?:: | yes | Ever had a bloody nose?:: | no | Have you ever caught a fish?:: | yes | What was the last thing you ate?:: | hamburger helper | What time do you go to bed?:: | depends | What's your favorite color?:: | blue | Do you like to give or recieve?:: | | Are you obsessed with anything/anyone?:: | my dogs probably | Do you live alone?:: | no | Do you own a blender?:: | yes | Do you like the snow?:: | i like how it looks but nothign else | Ever been up a mountain?:: | no | Ever been rootin'?:: | ? | Do you like surprises?:: | yes | You've been totally Bzoink*d! Take This Survey | Search Surveys | Create a Survey |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2009 14 July :: 10.59pm
jessssssssssssssss have you seen this?
cute huh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQcVllWpwGs
2 Felt the pain... |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2009 14 July :: 10.56pm
i need/want botox.
1 Felt the pain... |
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gillette
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2009 14 July :: 6.33pm
First Date Created by silverwolf1990 and taken 32 times on Bzoink | I'll never forget my first date with Jacob. It was back in June, so we went to the fur festival. We went on all the rides, like the wallabee Wheel and the Tunnel of :P. I was so nervous and lumpy from the rides, that I threw up my tacos from lunch! But that was ok, because Jacob held my hair back and then said, "old gregg!!" After that, we played some carnival games. We played firefly flip and Shoot the pictures. he won me a stuffed narwhal and a plastic barack obama doll. At the end of the date, Jacob asked if they could spew me. "Hahaha, I dont do that on the first date!" So then we just shook hands and said, "easy there fuzzy little man peach" | You've been totally Bzoink*d! Take This Bzoinkoid | Search Bzoinkoids | Create a Bzoinkoid |
Wedding Day! Created by sofay and taken 128 times on Bzoink | Today is my wedding day, I am getting married to Michelle. He proposed by swiftly telling me he gagged me and presented me with a brown ring decorated with 8 cats. How could I say no! We are having the wedding in Casino where we will eat Fig newtons and bahama mama. The dress is crunchy and fluffy and the bouquet is a blue deoderant. Jessica bitch slapped the bouquet into the air and it kissed Erin. She got knocked out and had to be escorted to Wal Mart. All in all, my wedding was a very horrifying day. | You've been totally Bzoink*d! Take This Bzoinkoid | Search Bzoinkoids | Create a Bzoinkoid |
My July 4th Created by andy and taken 26 times on Bzoink | I think I forgot to tell you about my July 4th weekend. Silly me. Here's how it goes.
Friday, the 3rd, Rueben, Michelle, and I all went to Prison. When we got there I suddenly realized I was only wearing my bathing suit. Oops! I quickly put on my Panties and called it good. The Speech Pathologist looked at me and screamed, "Eat Your Nuggets!". Apparently that's what happens when you're only wearing panties! That night we went back to Michelle's house where we proceeded to make a poop. It blazed bright Beige.
Saturday, the 4th, we were very crinkly. We played in Michelle's pool most of the day. Floating about on our dogs. Rueben got extremely burned by the vomit. We spread Relish all over their body, and off to the fireworks we went!
We thought the fireworks were sweet! There was one that looked like a Panda. One like a Grey Hound Bus. Even one like a Faygo bottle! WOW! We especially liked the one that was the color of rainbows.
I can only hope next year goes this well. | You've been totally Bzoink*d! Take This Bzoinkoid | Search Bzoinkoids | Create a Bzoinkoid |
2 Felt the pain... |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2009 10 July :: 10.47am
a random idiot i ran into today!
so i'm trying to do this new routine every morning just a quick workout because our complex has a small gym room with some equipment and then after that take my dogs for a walk.
so anyway i get to the "gym" and start on the elliptical and it keeps saying "motor unplug" which it did this the first ti me i ever used it like after 15 minutes , but i just got off , unplugged and replugged it and then it worked fine...
but today i kept replugging it and finding different plugs and it just would not work so instead i used a bike thing for like 10 minutes and then tried the elip again and it finally worked... so i did my workout on that and then .... this is the whole point of my story...
i walk back to my apartment and get the dogs and here i am walking, and i walk out of the apartment area/property and start down a road that turns into a housing development with pretty nice houses and i'm like just getting to the road with the houses, minding my own darn business with my dogs, and this stupid BITCH pulls up in her car and rolls down her window and says to me,
"You better be picking up after your dogs!"
and I say, "what?"
and she says "I dont see you holdin' no pooper scooper ! (notice the poor grammar which just made me more annoyed)
and i'm like "umm i have baggies right here! thanks!" (because i have the little clip on baggie holder-)
keep in mind my dogs are 6 and 12 lbs- they are not big dogs- they really dont create a lot of waste- i dont have to carry around a fricken SHOVEL to take care of the mess my dogs make... i'm not going to wheel around a fricken trash bin with me either ok.....
gAWD she was a stupid bitch!!!! i wanted to punch her in her fricken mouth. i called her a bitch after that but i'm not sure if she heard me because she was starting to pull away. i just HOPE she felt like a stupid bitch after she did that. how rude! i wasn't even doing anything wrong.
and she just put me in a horrible mood and UGGHGHGH i hate people like that!
1 Felt the pain... |
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cleverlinesunread
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2009 8 July :: 1.16pm
Plan.
You can go through life disposing of people and then picking through the trash to pull them back out when you're desperate and ready. You can treat people as though they're renewable. You can laugh at others silly emotions while you keep yours bottled and to yourself. You can explode, alone. You can give false feelings that are returned with real feelings. You can mark your body with something you believe in, but don't bother to follow. You can keep acting as though your actions have no equal or greater reaction. You can sense someone is happier than you and use one sentence with intention of stopping that. You can be aged until you slip back into your group of fake friends. You can keep using big words until even those aren't big enough to hide behind. You can use people as much as you'd like and then drift around them as if there's nothing to feel one way or another about. You can fall into holes as soon as you've burnt your own bridges. You can blame every one and every thing else when something doesn't go your way. You can change depending on who you're around, never truly being yourself and later hating yourself for that. You can blame the honest and let them take the fall for speaking what you're too small to say. You can play the prey when you're the predator. You can give credit when credit is due, but you won't. You can search for the same person with a different skin, and you will. You can want the past, but you'll only get the future. You can play games with people as if they're toys, but they're not. You can then laugh at how much better you are than those toys, and you are. You've learned what buttons to press and how we're all wired, so you use your tools to break and not mend. You can learn to earn satisfaction through good, but you'll choose bad. You can think you're so grown and wise, but you have fields of growing to do. You can cry your own tears, but you'll assign others to do that for you. You can think you're above everyone and be much more informed, which you're not. But, no matter how many words you read, you don't speak them. And when you finally do it's going to be too late and no one is going to understand you.
You're no more than surface level garbage.
You should pick yourself apart and only keep what works.
If you're playing a game, you're playing with yourself.
And you win. You always do.
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2009 5 July :: 8.11pm
grrr....i guess we'll wait and see.
1 Felt the pain... |
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gillette
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2009 5 July :: 2.01am
i'm still kind of upset about michael jackson's death. maybe to some people it's already 'old news' or they never cared about it in the first place. losing him is a huge tragedy to music and to the world, honestly! he was a beautiful person inside and out. i grew up listening to his music. my parents always played oldies for my sister and i, and we used to always listen to this jackson 5 8 track my dad still has. as i got older, i realized how much i loved his voice and when i was going through some really hard times when i was 16 or so i always listened to his song 'you are not alone' and 'smile' over and over and over again. we also had a lot in common. he cares a ton about other people and the earth. he had a tragic life and its so sad that towards the end, people only focused on the negatives and not all the wonderful things he has done for charity and tons of people less fortunate then him. he was a humanitarian even though inside he was always torn apart. i can relate to that. smiling on the outside but sad on the inside. i'm not trying to be cheesy or too sentimental, but just hearing his songs and watching interviews with him on tv make me feel so sad to have lost him. it is so sad. it's a tragedy.
2 Felt the pain... |
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gillette
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2009 2 July :: 11.02pm
More pharmaceutical fun. So he DID give me those pills for free. Those pills are nine bucks EACH! It was only three of them, but still...and I went in there tonight to pick up my rx and he was chatting away as usual..He asked me if my boyfriend was coming to visit me this weekend and I said no, and he said he was a jerk! HA! i was like woooooooahh there.
I'm worried about grad school. EVERYONE i talk to is like, 'oh my neice/friend/etc...got all A's and couldn't get in anywhere in Michigan for the speech path program' seriously like 6 people have told me that. I must know why! what can i do so that doesn't happen to me?! how can i make myself different? stand out? etc...UGH!!
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