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2003 10 June :: 1.46 pm
YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK IT NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME N E WAYS I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF....I LOVE ALL OF YOU WHO ACTUALLY DID CARE AND HAVE A GREAT LIFE........................
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2003 10 June :: 1.32 pm
OK YOU ALL WANT TO KNOW THE OTHER REASON I AM GONNA BREAK UP WITH HIM???? HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME AND IM NOT READY!!! OK!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT HE TOLD ME THE OTHER DAY????? HE SAID HOW LONG WILL IT BE BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME ( me being a VIRGIN said) MAYBE 2 YEARS AND HE WAS LIKE "WHAT!!!!!" AND HE GOES YOUR KIDDING!!! I WAS LIKE NO IM NOT!! HE WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT!!! THE THIS IS WHAT GOT ME! HE SAID WELL MAYBE ILL DO IT TO YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN YOUR SLEEPING!!!! SO YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK IT!!! THATS LIKE RAPE! SO FUCK YOU ALL OK IF I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX/GET RAPPED I DONT FUCKING HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT!! I FIGURED THIS WAS A LIL 2 MUCH INFO FOR ALL YOU BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DROVE YOURSELVES RIGHT INTO IT SO THERE YOU FUCKING GO!! THERE'S THE REST OF THE TRUTH!
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2003 10 June :: 10.15 am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: I love you (Martina Mcbride)
to much
well yesterday Janice came over to my house and she spent the night....i was talking to my bf lance and he was like "I dont feel good" and i waslike well go to sleep ( he didnt get very much sleep the night before talking to me!) and the he had to get up and go to work the next mournin at 5:30!! i felt so bad so he was gone at work all day and i missed him a lot! He works at a Hospital...n e ways so we talked at like 7 -10 and i found out he was sick so i told him to go to bed....well me and janice got on the computer and he got on well....he started talking about why he was sick and he was saying it was cuz he couldnt hold me or kiss me, look at me and just have me with him...i was like awww so i called him and we talked and he was like i dont eat and i cant sleep i was like baby your gonna get seriously sick dont do this and he kept asking why and i was like because i love you and dont want n e thing to happen to you...and he was like heather dont worry about me i was like either way i am going to weather you like it or not.... i was shaken while i was on the phone i didnt know what to do i love him so much and dont want n e thing to happen to him....but then i had to let him go cuz my dad was home and by that time it was 12 and i was like " I love you lance with all my heart and soul" and he said the same thing and i was so sad to let him go... i wanted to cry over the phone talking to him.....you guys shoulda seen me.. so yeah n e ways ill talk to you all later ok? loveyas byes
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2003 7 June :: 7.20 pm
well i dont know whats going on i am telling Bj that we are done i cant do this n e more!! its just wow but yeah n e ways.....whats up for plans this summer n e of you?? i dont think i am doin n e thing besides helping everyone with the money for new york next year!! woohu!! lol and i am going to friends's house this summer hopefully lol well ne ways g2g! byes!
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2003 6 June :: 7.29 pm
well school is out and i cant believe it i am like happy but not i want to go to school to see my friends but i dont like school school...yeah n e wyas i am gonna miss you all!! alot! and my other subject is about Bj i dont know if i want to go out with him n e more i cant see him...he is fat....ugly.....and there other things about him that have made me mad in the last couple of days and they are very big issues that its just like wow...so yeah n e ways.....i dont know what else to talk about so love yall byes!
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2003 1 June :: 8.06 pm
:: Mood: pissed off
well you know what here i go again this weekend was shit!! friday nothing happened but saturday everthing happened!!! my moms car was stolen we found it and the light in the car over the passenger seat and drivers seat was taken out but was set on the seat....and the ignition for the key was broken so omg it was the worst!!!
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2003 27 May :: 4.01 pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: GC!!!!
WOOHU
well now i am in a grand mood not with my mom i havent seen her in forever it seems but i dont care i dont even want to think of her right now N E ways lol i went camping this weekend it was kool but yeah i went 4 wheeling which was awesome!!YAY!! and i found out that bj is coming up here this summer i am sooooooo excited!!! yay!! wow OMG guess what!!!!!!!!! I LOVE BJ SOO MUCH!!!!! i missed him so much this weekend not being able to tlak to him so when i got home last night i went and called him and we talked for like 15 mins then my phone went dead so i just switched phones and put a corded phone in (i have a cordless but see how desperate i was to takl to him!!!!) so yeah and we talked another 15 mons then i had to go cuz i had to go to bed n e ways ill talk wit you all laters!!! byes
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2003 19 May :: 3.11 pm
you know what i fucking my life!!!! i cant stand it n e more my mom treats me like shit and also along with my other sisters she doesnt give a fuck about what i do if i got preagnet she probly wouldnt have cared and if i was ever murdered she still wouldnt care you know so fuck it i hate my damn life my mom makes it that way this weekend was the shittest weekend i have ever had friday i went to my aunt darci(had and awesome time there like always) then she told me to give my mom this note she read it to me and it was about all the problems that has been going on with her ever since wes came into her life. she read it and so did wes ...well he didnt like it to much...there was this part about his son kyle being on a breathing machine(for his asthma when he is sick) and he is like well they can mind there own fucking business it said this" you guys sit there and smoke around him let alone the other kids and for god sake he is on a breathing machine" then there was another part where it told about when my dad and us kids went to my aunt darci's( who is my moms sister) we all talked about the whole thing all of a sudden he says"well i thought they fucking hated rod from what you told me!" to my mom right in from of us kids!!! i was pissed i was shaking i was so pissed then my mom and us kids went for a walk and she like kind of ignored everything we said....the sunday......when we got home to my dads, my dad and us gurls talked about not going to see my mom for a lil while and lettin thing start to change and letting my mom know we are dead fucking serious about this thing between her and wes...so we may not go there for the weekends and wednesdays for a while this is how bad this is guys well n e ways long enough?? lol byes!
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2003 18 May :: 7.16 pm
do you guys what me to fucking die!!!!!!!!!!!
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2003 13 May :: 4.17 pm
You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss that never lessens and always blows your partner away like the first time.
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2003 13 May :: 3.37 pm
WHAT IF I DIE:
if i died would you care?
if i went to hell and no one knew do you think you would?
is heaven where i belong i always thought so but the ppl treat me maybe not!?
does god love me??
Do you love me?
how do i know if you do?
maybe god has a place just for me to protect me from you and will love me for who i am unlike you did...
what if i died???
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2003 13 May :: 3.32 pm
well yesterday i was talking to bj and as soon as i picked up the phone he was like hey beauitful....i was like awwww he makes me feel so good he is the only one who really cares about me except my dad but like no one else cares about me its like if i died no one would know because they dont care but bj does he knows when i am down over the phone and he comes right out and says"whats wrong baby" and when he says that its like i just melt he tells me i am beautiful and that i am amazing and the best thing thats happened to him i love him so much i want to leave this shitty town and go live with him as soon as school is done i am off and leaving and going to live with him...n e ways byes!
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2003 12 May :: 3.19 pm
:: Mood: blah
hey well i was at school today and talking about bj made me wanna cry! i miss him sooooooooooooooo much and i want to bein his arms again:(......so yeah i love him so much ok byes
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2003 11 May :: 3.39 pm
well prom was fun....i went to bjs (took 3 hours to get there) and i was a lil surprised cuz i ddint kow what he looked like...he wasnt what i thought he would look like, n e ways...we got in the car and he was like so have you ever been kissed i was like no and he turned my head towards him and all sudden there was lips on mine there wasnt much time before i backed off it was like wow that was a lil fast... and i layed my head on his shoulder and then he did it again only there was more ! i was like omg!!! and so he put his arms around me...then we got lost going to the place where his prom was but eventually we all got there(me, bj, amanda and tommy) we danced to 2 songs and then we just talked the rest of the night... and there were sooo many HOTT GUYS THERE!! then bj took me to the fromt of the building and was like trying to kiss me there and i was like i just dont feel ready for thisand told him i felt bad but i couldnt do if for some reason.... i was talking to this guy matt and got a pic of hiim he was so fine....n e ways so then we went to get our regular clothes on at bjs house and i was back in bjs arms on the way there but it felt good....and we were holding hands and all.... then we just stayed at his house instead of going to post prom..and for all you who thought i was gonna do something with bj i didnt i kept it to myself thank you very much and n e ways...we listened to his brother in law play the guitar... and that was really kool i was laying down almost passed out lol but it was so awesome i loved it down there cant wait till i go back me and amanda had a blast down there too it was soo awesome....then my dad came and we had to leave at 2;30 in the mourning!!! so we head out and it started pouring you guys should have saw the puddles of water in ppls yards they looked like ponds !!!! this one feild was coveredin water and i thought it was a lake for real!!! n e ways on the way home my dad couldnt see the road and we had to stop because it was rainin that hard ! then we get on the highway and all a suddenwe had to pull over the wind was making the car go all over the high way and so we got off at an off ramp and we stoped there for almost an hour to and hour and a half (at that time i was sleeping) and i woke up and my dad was sleeping to so i just went back to sleep then i woke up again and it was daylight and we were going down the road we finally got home and found out that it took us 8 and a 1/2 hours to get back home!!!! but at least we were safe than sorry. well i think i typed enough talk to you all later byes!!
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2003 9 May :: 5.08 pm
!!!!!!!!!!WELL TOMORROWS MY NIGHT I GET TO GO SEE BJ AND GO TO PROM!!!! YAY!!!!!! well hows everyone been??? i havent been on in a while but n e ways ttyl byes!
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