sugarjackj
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2011 11 June :: 11.56pm
My friend offered to rent her spare room out to me in her duplex for awhile. So I'll be moving out of this apartment Monday sometime. And a big fuck you to my roommate will be all of the shit I'm downloading off of his internetz roiight meow.
Still thinking about moving down to G.R.
Thinking.
Hmm.
I downloaded the Foo Fighters newest album. The song "Rope" i must say holds some sort of nostalgia for me. Its pretty good though.
Got my bridge card back. I like this.
hMM......
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sugarjackj
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2011 9 June :: 11.21am
I've been contemplating suicide a lot more that I probably should lately.
I know its cowardly, but at this point in time I think I'm alright with being selfish for once.
I'm a 24 year old child.
I take one step forward, then three steps back.
I'm not getting anywhere.
I have nothing to offer anymore.
I'm just wasting space.
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sugarjackj
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2011 3 June :: 1.49pm
It's a nice day to start again.
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sugarjackj
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2011 1 June :: 7.30pm
I'll tell you everything about lbein free...
Blah blah blah..........
So I'm jobless a week now. Homeless come this time next month. And I'll be going to school fulltime this fall for free because I'm an Indian. So go ahead, hate on me.
I've always felt I am more of a gypsy tho.....
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sugarjackj
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2010 16 February :: 6.37pm
I just want you to know,
That I love you Woohu.
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sugarjackj
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2009 20 November :: 5.56pm
Ok Woohu. Look at me go.
The past few months of my life have been crazy, chaotic and life changing.
After being involved in a horrible domestic situation I spent a month and a half being homeless. I have lost almost everything I own. But I am better than I have ever been in my entire life.
Sometimes when things start to go so very wrong in your life you feel as though things can¡¦t get any worse. They can. But, I learned so much from losing everything.
I moved into a domestic violence shelter on the reservation in Mt. Pleasant. I have been here for just about a month now, and things could not be going better for me ļ
I recently got a job, and I move into a one bedroom apartment next week.
I¡¦ve been getting into many native American cultural activities. Getting in touch with the earth and my heritage.
I¡¦ve decided to take a few more years off of school. I¡¦m still trying to decide if college is really what¡¦s best for me. I still will be taking a few classes though. Just so I remain smi-educated. Lol.
Next week I start an apprenticeship. I will be learning the art of native American stone sculpture. I am extremely excited to be doing this. Who knows, maybe I¡¦ll make magnificent sculptures and make a living being an artist. Pipedream? Maybe. But it would be cool in any case. To beat the system and make a living doing what I love. :P
So, overall, life isn¡¦t perfect, but I¡¦m doing the best I can.
I really am very happy :)
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cleverlinesunread
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2009 11 October :: 10.32am
I am exciiiiited!
I've been nervous for days and though I know once I get on the plane my stomach is going to be in knots again and I'm going to feel sick, that's ok.
I was freaking out about packing, but it's going surprisingly well so I think that's helping my anxiety a bit. I was also stressing a bit about all of the things I had to buy, but everything I need right away is purchased and I have money for what I need when I get there.
I feel like Wednesday cannot come soon enough. For a while I was almost dreading this and sad, but I think it's coming at the best possible time for me. I think it's what I should be doing. I know the first month is probably going to suck, I'm going to want to come home, and it's going to be exceptionally hard, but it not being easy is probably what makes the journey worth it.
When I fly solo, I fly so high.
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cleverlinesunread
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2009 8 October :: 11.42pm
I just watched my little niece walk for the first time. And I cried.
Someday, far far away, I am excited to be a mom.
(Adoption, of course).
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cleverlinesunread
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2009 8 October :: 9.31am
:: Music: Frightened Rabbit - Poke
Nights like last night make me not want to leave.
I love it here.
Nonetheless, it's time to move on. :)
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cleverlinesunread
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2009 6 October :: 11.24am
:: Music: Bright Eyes
Waves.
Began last night.
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cleverlinesunread
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2009 5 October :: 7.07am
:: Music: Frightened Rabbit - Keep yourself warm
Unbounded hook ups.
I don't think I could ever become someone like that. Even the thought of it makes me feel sick. I can't see that feeling good or right. I'll never be one of those people. I don't know what it is about me, but something about it is sacred in a way. I've thought about it, talked about it, made jokes about it, but there's no trophy case or number high enough to make me intrigued. I've had my chance and I thank my cold feet. It's gross and futile. Oh, what is this world becoming? How am I to know?
At times I've tried to be something I'm not. It's never worked out for me.
I'm thankful.
You won't find love in a- won't find love in a hole.
It takes more than fucking someone to keep yourself- see in the dark!
Can you see the look in your face?
The flashing white light's been turned off.
You don't know know who's in your bed.
It takes more than fucking someone you don't know to keep warm.
Do you really think that for a house beat you'll find your love in a hole?
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