im so tired...my dad has began again with his shit...he makes me feel so horrible..i iwsh one day i could be perfect for him...i work so hard for him i do everything just to make him happy...i dont know what else i can do...i hate him so bad...the sad part of all this im attracted to guys just like my father...im terried about that...arg he hurts me so bad...i have panic attacks now because of him...yes if people dont know what they are...they are not lovely...they are really umm odd...but im going to go...i did the dumbest thing tonight too...i called alex cesar and he looked so hurt...i didnt know what to do...im fucking horrible...arg...bye

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