::Alone Again::
I feel the feeling again. That feeling of no one caring. The feeling of guilt and pride.

I've lost so much of what truly means the most to me. Like I've said before, I Hate, I loath, I detest the feeling of losing. I hate it with everything.

I wish I could make him mine again, but now he's too far away. I wish I could take in his love this time, but now I'm pushing him away. I wish for a second chance, but I don't think I'm worth it anyways.

It's been almost a day and a half since I've last spoken to him. I miss him, but something inside tells me I don't want to speak with him. Only because I'm at a loss of words with him. I can not lie to him. I cannot tell him what is wrong, because Until now, I haven't felt the least bit guilty of anything. But now, now he has to make things worse. He wants it to pass, but he....he won't give up. Makes me realize how much he loves me. Everyone else has given up on me. I wouldn't be surprised if he would after all that I've done.......

I shrug it off. I do. I completely ignore things sometimes. I take it what needs to be taken in, I say what I think is right. I take in what means the most, and I push out the things that I cannot react to. Those things are millions that come through my life. ::sigh:: what am I babbling about? I need to go.

I need to just get away from him, from myself....from everyone.