Finding. . . myself. . . lonely. Finding. . . myself. . . angry. . . Finding. . . myself. . .

 

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:: 2004 29 May :: 3.31 am

::Alone::
I'm not...exactly alone. Hell, I have 2 friends over right now. But I just want to be talking to the one I love.

I miss him....He's so good to me, and I love flaunting him off in front of my friends.

You're all I think about, Love. All. I love You. G'night, sweet dreams...I will meet you there.

(And everything is fine.)

2 ::Always Lonely:: | ::Find Yourself::


:: 2004 27 May :: 9.34 pm

Fuck The 5 Months....

they'll be put on hold till I come to my fucking senses.

::Find Yourself::


:: 2004 24 May :: 9.06 pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Colorblind-Counting Crows

::WoW::
First, I just wanted to say Happy 5 Month Anniversary To My Love.

We've came along way, and I'm so truly happy for how we are.

Um, on other notes, I just got home. From...a place that used to be so dear to me. I look back, think of memories, and I couldn't be more...saddened by all of them. I drove streets that were so familiar. That were so popular, and I knew them so well. I miss it, o, so much. I'm scared to let go of all I had there.

Why? Because what I had there, is what I grew up with. I don't remember my old home, nor where I originally grew up. I just remember then, and my teenhood years. I remember the people that meant the most to me, and sadly enough, It's strange to say the place I loved so much has changed. Everything about it brings a new aura.

I don't know. I remember passing a road I used to drive on all the time. ::sigh:: God, how I loved that road. There was this big tree. Always a big tree there, and every year, whether it be winter or summer, it was always green. I remember going there in the rain. Sitting there beneath it. I always felt like I was wanted there.

Then, when I was with the people I loved, I brought them to that place. There, we carved our names. We burried important letters. There, it was ours. No one else's. God. I miss my home.

Yes. That place is still my home. My memories are there. Locked in that tree, in those hearts. But, unfortunately, as much lives as I touched there, as many hearts I put affect on, they no longer see it. They're completely blind to who I ever was. They don't realize I'm still the girl I've always been. Heh. They just can't see....

So I left today. It was hard leaving. Watching the sky fade away behind me. The clouds drew away, and the wind pushed against the car. My hair blew in the wind, the way it did so long ago. My eyes were squinted in the new light. It wasn't as hard to leave this time. But it wasn't easy. I remember looking back, just one last time. Seeing grey clouds behind me. My wind blew across my face, and I sighed, and walked back to the car. All I said was "Goodbye", and I waved a hand to no one. But to the whole town.

I knew it was then that I realized I grew up. And that I would never forget anything, but learn from it. And I will always have them in my heart....Adios.

1 ::Always Lonely:: | ::Find Yourself::

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