::Tryin to find.......something::
It's dreadfully hard to find something that was never known. It's hard finding a certain person....myself.

Once again, you let yourself slip, and you're wondering why you even exsist. Once again, your dreams are broken, and floating nowhere in an internal bliss. And yet you've come to realize, how hard it is to keep it together. He's the only one you love...why can't you see that? You love no other being, no other object known to man. You love no one else. So why can't you see that?

Stupid writings. They make no sense. I hate you journal. I hate you with great content. I hate knowing you're here to hold all my fears. I hate knowing you're here when no one else is. You make me suffer, and you MAKE me write. You make me tell you things are were never so light. Everything's so heavy. Carried on my back. I feel like a child carrying a thousand bricks.

I feel like I'm not loved. I have no more inspiration.

::I tried my hardest, or I would have tried harder::
I met a man. A man of greatness, and power. A man of beauty, and life. But this man, is not my man. He is not the man I know. Strangely, he is different.

I set away my problems for the day. I looked into this strange mans eyes, and I remembered he wasn't mine. He isn't mine, and he could never be mine. He isn't that man I love. He was just.....a man.

I dreaded a place once. Only so much pain. Learning nothing, and everything at once. Visions are corruption and suffer my soul. I hate this pain. Please, some one help me and make it go away.

As for now, I must go.

::And so we come to realize::
Friendship? A word without meaning. A selfish being.

Life itself is not needed. A time to find yourself, but most are still blind.

And so the people are still snow. Pretty but cold. Soft but they sting when they hit you hard. Still so beautiful to look at, so white, so pure, but underneath them it's dirty, muddy and disgusting. It will be soon that this beauty melts. It will be soon I show my dirt, my road, my mind.

You let yourself slip. You let yourself worry. Stop. Stop it now. You let your mind run away with everything in front of you, so stop it now. You beautiful creature, god, how can you let yourself down. Don't let yourself slip. He holds your heart, but he can't control your head. That razor isn't there. Ignore it.

Ignore everything.