::It's a long way down, on this roller coaster. The last chance street car went off the track::
Today wasn't that bad. Silence is what I wished for all day. I had been reminded of things from my past, and from of the future. I stayed up last night, thinking of the things that I remembered from Arizona. The good times, and that bad time I had the very last time I was there. I really regret it all, yet I wish I could cherish, and make people remember it all. Listening to this song...reminds me of that night...with Peter. With Everyone. I remember it was our graduationg party at Elias's. And no one thought about me going away. No one care that night. No one talked about it, no one said word. WE were ALL happy then. I remember slowly walking on all fours to the radio, putting this cd in...and crawling back to Peter...I layed on him, as he cried I smiled and told him I was happy for the first time in my life. And no not cuz I was moving, not cuz I was with him, NOT becuz it was just one of those moments, but because I was in love, because, I would leave that place with memories, because I would be remember as a great person. He kissed me and cried, and not because he was sad. I remember, life as if it were simple, perfect, and NOTHING could go wrong. But I was wrong. I gotta go. Goodbye...
jordan

::Like any one Worthy, I am flattered by your fascination with me::
This song is a lot like me. I don't want ANYONE to come into my life. I've learned to trust, but my trust has just slowly faded away from everyone. I can't believe how much things have change. I've always wanted a good story to write down, a meaningful piece, but unfortunately nothing comes to mind. Eh...I'll live...but a part of me will die, as time prolongs, we are all slowly dying, and I'm almost dead. I'm greatly fortunate, to have the people I have in my life. Sadly enough, I have a feeling and visions they won't be there for very much longer. I'm going to grow up...live my own life, my own destiny. I don't know what I'm saying. Sometimes I think way to much...

Have you ever thought to yourself, what it was like to be kissed again? To be touched by the hands of your soulmate? Looked in the eyes by the love of your life...It's amazing how desperate I am. To be held, to be loved...to be told that I am everything to only one person. God...I'd do anything, seriously anything to know the feeling of love again. I love you Paden....always.
Jordan

::The beating of my heart plays in his::
Well, I just got off the phone with Paden. It was an ok talk. Not the usual. But god...I love him so much. I hope he really truly loves me...Anyways, he was playing X-Box games with his bro so we didn't say much in the process. O well. I started my diet today. 3 days of raw green vegies, and all the meat you can eat. I feel sort of sick actually...I got that feeling today, that I just was too weak to stand. It was wierd. Well...yea so basically I sat around, for breakfast I had half an orange. Lunch I had, a cucumber, shrimp, and some celery. Dinner I had a pork chop, water, and some gabage salad. Hahaha...what a meal eh? O well. Anyways, I think I'm gonna go and uh...change this journal thing up. i'm bored and got nothing else to do. Yet, my headache is KILLING me.
Jordan