:: 2009 7 November :: 10.46 pm

I began to think last night about what is truely going on in my life.
Kind of like an outsider looking in.

I've realized somethings about myself.
Like I'm a sap
a giver
I'm that loyal bestfriend that never wavers
I'm your worst enemie
and a passionate lover
a devoted Christian
a horrible sinner
I'm that person you call at two a.m when no ones around and you need a friend
I'm that person that will say I wasn't asleep when I was far away and dreaming, so you dont feel bad about you venting

and through it all I begin to see that the closest people to me, havent an idea at all. Not about whats going on with my life or how I'm feeling. I never want to burden. Or give away my issues. And it at times leaves me with the feeling I'm being taken advantage of. Its my own fault for not opening up. But again, its me that becomes the blame, not them. Ever. I wish I could point the finger and scream and not care. Not in the slightest about how they feel or what the outcome may be. I wish I knew how to let my guard down... Who knows if I ever will.

2 razors | let's cut the wings away