:: 2009 1 November :: 2.20 am

Its amazing and scary at the same time, in exactly a two years from now I will be Mrs. Thaddeus Gamez.

Its hard to believe really, I know its the right decision because of how much I love him and how there is no one else in the world that I could possibly love more, but still I"m soo young and I'm soo scared. I dont have the first clue of how to be a 'wife' and I dont even know how Thaddeus is standing on the whole deal. I mean I know he wants to get married but he's not that romantic 'I love you because...' kinda guy. I want so badly to have everything go right for us, and I'm scared that it wont...I know it wont. I miss him soo much when he's gone and I haven't the slightest clue if he feels the same or remotely similar. We dont talk like that. Never have really. Mrs.Gamez. Thats a horrible last name...I'd prefer Winningham any day. I dont know. There is so much to do in such little time. I dont know how I'm going to do this. I feel so confused and just completely and utterly vexed.

Whatever, I'm going to bed. Or try to anyway. Sorry for the slightly pessimistic post. I hate it when my mind gets going like this. It never stops.

3 razors | let's cut the wings away