why should you care

why should you care

:: 2007 8 February :: 5.16 pm

heh i feel better now. i watched some tv and cried some more so im fine for a while.

:: 2007 8 February :: 3.14 pm

i take things way over the top. and right now im doing that. it sux. its been like 5 days since ive been feeling this way. but it seems like my life is falling apart for some stupid reason. the ppl who i thought were my friends dont seem as good friends. and i dont know why. i know im just over reacting right now but i cant help it. i always do the wrong thing then regret it. i swear ill never get what i want. i think this might be apart of why i am depressed. its because i take things too far. i always have. it also seems that i cant have a life unless its perfect. which sux for me because then ill have no life at all. man i hope i dont get to be the way i used to be. it was horrible. fuck you death and your stupid reacurrance in my mind. sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i was gone out of this stupid world. and i have come to realize that only a few ppl would care. like sure ppl might be sad but i wasnt a big part in their lives so it wouldnt matter. i know devon would care alot. robert would too. hes almost always been there for me. hmmmmmmmmmmm thats all. maybe mandie but she hasnt known me for so long so who am i to know. i doubt my family would care. i always just seem to get in their ways anyways............

-im lost with and without you.
-you make me feel great and like shit.
-you make me want you and make me want to stay away from you.
-i want to love life and hate life because of you.
-i want to tell you how i feel and yet i dont.
-you would care but i really dont think you would.

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:: 2007 8 February :: 2.48 pm

here i am again where i started. and it sux. i though i had made up my mind but clearly i havent. and er i dont know what to do. this time though i think im not going to really tell anyone. so i dont have to ruin anything between other ppl. cuz then i would feel so selfish. i mean come on katie dont be a dumb fool and just let others be happy besdies yourself for once. errrrrrrrrrrrg.

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:: 2007 6 February :: 5.38 pm

woooo i found this bitch thanks to nic. hahah but i cant write my secret feelings in it cuz ppl know about it. but yeah today sucked like soo bad. i feel so depressed and i dont know why. but whatever ill deal with myself obsorbed self someday. but im going to see the blue man group with natasha should kick some asss. yeah errrg i hate the way i feel and no one will ever know. this time im keeping it inside of me because when i say things other things get ruined and for certain ppl they seem to be so called catching fire and spreading like wild ahhshahah i can compare things... i guesss. but not really
i should just go jumg off that bridge now because its always been there for me and i want to leave myself there forever so to speak. ha emo i know but you dont care. i mean i really do have memories with that brige if that makes sense to anyone but i dont care. i mean i went there to just cry so many times man and when i wanted to commit suicide there that sucked but yeah and i walked across that thing so darn much to just be in those woods and when i used to walk to toris house and ahahah just standing there and watching the stupid cars go by as i screamed at them. good times good times.

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:: 2005 7 September :: 7.49 pm

mla school is lame i hate my classes grrr and raelynn is back at lc. i mean that is great and all but once again everyone will talk to her and not to me... oh well

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:: 2005 1 August :: 1.13 pm

man i thought going to cali would be fun but all raelynn wants to do is just go on the stupid computer and talk to her online boyfriend gawd its so stupid i wasted 500 dollars just to fly down her and see raelynn talk to her boyfriend how lame i wish i wouldnt of come

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:: 2005 30 June :: 11.19 am

i met this really cool from canada hes super cool. uh i hate summer. If i actually had alot of friends to hang out with it might be ok but i dont so it sucks some major ass. But then i wouldnt want to go back to skool either. Now that i think about it I just hate like. why am i so depressed. I want to try to get better and not be put on fricken pills. why cant i be some normal person and not some messed up person.

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:: 2005 12 June :: 6.56 pm

do do do uhmm havent updated in a long time but last night I went to laser quest for a lock in. It was ok but someone made it really suckie. Anyways not much skool left cant wait till summer. I will be so bored since no one calls me 2 do stuff and even if they did call me I am so lazy I might not do anything. anywho then end

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:: 2005 24 May :: 1.56 pm

ha ha I am suspended

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:: 2005 22 May :: 2.30 pm

meh I saw starwars 2 times. it was really good. Oh and I went to a lock in it was so much fun.

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:: 2005 15 May :: 9.23 pm

1. First Name?
Katie
2. Were you named after anyone?
nope
3. Do you wish on stars?
i did before untill I realized it was stupid
4. Which finger is your favorite?
the little one
5. When did you last cry?
today i cry almost everyday I get used to it
6. Do you like your handwriting?
yeah its ok
8. Any bad habits?
uh I am kinda shy
9. What is your most embarrassing CD?
none why should I be embarrased about something I like
10. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?
no I am stupid
11. Are you a daredevil?
I would say so I mean why be afraid to do something we are all gonna die anyways why not be sooner then later
12. Do looks matter?
yeah cuz your gonna notice someones looks before you talk to them... unless you are closing your eyes
13. How do you release anger?
in many ways like breaking things punching wall... and other stuff I guess sometimes I hurt myself but thats not very good but I feel I deserve it because I am worthless
14. Where is your second home?
at allysons house
15. Do you trust others easily?
no I cant trust anyone
16. What was your favorite toy as a child?
the grass
17. What class in school do you think is totally useless?
every class I mean I wont become anything in life anyways
18. Do you have a journal?
yeah this one right here
19. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
with my mom and other stupid ppl
21. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
yep
22. What are your nicknames?
kt, k7
23. Would you bungee jump?
if I had the chance
24. Second most favorite saying?
right

25. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
my shoes arent tied anyways
26. Do you think that you are strong willed?
no
27. What's your favorite ice cream flavor?
that stuff I ate like 20 min ago
28. Shoe Size?
like 8

29. What are your favorite colors?
brown, black, green
30. What is your least favorite feeling?
Like u wanna kill yourself, and no one would miss you.
31. How many wisdom teeth do you have?
why would I care
32. How many people have a crush on you right now?
None i am ugly and stupid
33. What do you miss most right now?
everything
35. What color pants are you wearing?
just jeans
36. What are you listening to right now? Honestly nothing, cuz this nohting I am a loser
37. Last thing you ate?
I ate mac and cheese and ice cream
38. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
(Crayola)
brown or black

39. Whats the weather like right now?
i dont know
40. Last person you talked to on the phone?
I dont even remember no one calls me and the ppl who used to call me I dont think even like being my friend
41.The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
their face
42. Do you like the person who sent you this?
yeah shes ok I guess
43. How are you today?
uhmm no good like everyday I live
44. Favorite drink?
orange pop kinda stuff I guess
45. Favorite alcoholic drink?
I have no clue
46. Favorite Sport?
I like tennis I know its pretty lame
47. Hair color?
kinda blondish brownish
48. Eye color?
hmm who cares
49. Do you wear contacts?
yep
50. Siblings?
a brother
51. Favorite month?
june cuz my b-day even though I never had a good b-day like that one time no one sang me happy b-day
52.Favorite food?
cheese
53.Last movie you watched?
I dont watch very many movies
54. Summer or winter?
I dont care
55. Hugs or kisses?
who cares about those things
59. Living Arrangements?
a box
I dont know
61. What's on your mouse pad?
its black thats it
62. Favorite board game?
I dont play those anymore
63. What did you watch on TV last night?
nothing I dont really watch much tv
64. Favorite Smell?
food and flowers.
65. Favorite person in history?
none
64. favorite day of the week?
none every day is stupid
66. Favorite number?
3 or 8009
68. Would you rather drive a long distance or fly?
fly
69. Are you better with a crowd or one-on-one?
depends who the one person is
70. Country music or jazz?
both sucks ass
71. Do you ever get mad at God?
Theres not such thing as god
72. Do you think computers have personalities?
kinda cuz you save all of yourself on the computer
73. Do you name your cars?
no I dont have cars
74. How often do you wish you were of the opposite sex?
I dont know just sometimes
75. Are you happy when you wake up on Monday mornings?
no
76. Do you like your feet?
not really
77. Favorite card game?
oh shit
78. If you changed your name, what would you change it to?
kt even though its the same its different spelling
79. Favorite Saint(s)?
WTF?
80. Cats or dogs?
cats
81. Museums or zoos?
Zoos, museums are kinda boring
82. Do you say what you think or think what to say?
i dont know
83. Brass or strings?
strings
84. Place you'd most like to visit?
no where
85. Place you never want to go back to?
the past
86. Movie you watch over and over?
none right now
87. Greatest blessing?
nothing
88. Greatest curse?
Shyness
89. Sunrise or sunset?
I dont care
90. Who hurts you the most?
everyone but this one person that I though I loved
91. What haunts you the most?
nothing
92. Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy?
wheel of fortune
93. Russert or Stephanopolis?
wtf?
94. Favorite characteristic in others?
Sense of humour, trust worthyness, wild, fun, spontanious
95. Are you good at responding to these things?
yeah I guess
96. Favorite part of your life?
nothing
97. Sandals or sneakers?
Skate shoes
98. Popcorn or fudge?
fudge
99. Feathers or seashells?
feathers are gross, seashells are pretty cool
100. Why or because?
because

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:: 2005 9 May :: 8.02 pm

today I bought little boy boxers since those are the only ones that will fit me. they are so cool. but again today was a suckie day I didnt even see him today and thats all I have left because I really cant have what I truely want